Commuting - then it hit me....i'm a fred!

my rise to fred status started slowly...

first it was tucking my pants into my socks, then it was getting a reflective strap around my pant leg. followed by purchasing a folding bike with a rack, reflectors, and lights. then, i got a head light (those lights you strap around your forehead). BUT i never thought i was a fred until i saw myself with an ultra bright yellow\green hi-vis jacket with reflective piping all over it (which i just bought). that just pushed it over the edge.

i even have a beard now. oh boy, could i be more of a poster child for fredism? :p go, ahead, make fun of me as you ride by. i can take it.

my rise to fred status started slowly...

first it was tucking my pants into my socks, then it was getting a reflective strap around my pant leg. followed by purchasing a folding bike with a rack, reflectors, and lights. then, i got a head light (those lights you strap around your forehead). BUT i never thought i was a fred until i saw myself with an ultra bright yellow\green hi-res jacket with reflective piping all over it (which i just bought). that just pushed it over the edge.

i even have a beard now. oh boy, could i be more of a poster child for fredism? :p go, ahead, make fun of me as you ride by. i can take it.
For shame. You don't crave to wear, let alone earn, the right to wear a Championship Jersey. I hope you don't think you are a Real Cyclist.;)

I'm still confused as to the exact definition of a Fred but I don't think I'm too far off where your at.

rack - check
grocery pannier - check
fenders - check
TWO rear blinkies - check
headlight - check
helmet - check
velco leg strap - check

FRED - ??

I guess I gotta post the definition yet again. ;)

fred
1) n. a person who spends a lot of money on his bike and clothing, but still can't ride. "What a fred -- too much Lycra and titanium and not enough skill." Synonym for poser. Occasionally called a "barney".
2) n. a person who has a mishmash of old gear, does't care at all about technology or fashion, didn't race or follow racing, etc. Often identified by chainring marks on white calf socks. Used by "serious" roadies to disparage utility cyclists and touring riders, especially after these totally unfashionable "freds" drop the "serious" roadies on hills because the "serious" guys were really posers. This term is from road touring and, according to popular myth, "Fred" was a well-known grumpy old touring rider, who really was named Fred.

first it was tucking my pants into my socks,


Hold on a second, you mean there are people who don't do this?

So I guess in deifintion 2, the Fred is dropping the definition 1 Fred. So really we are all just a bunch of Freds...

I wear tights, so no.
I do have a beard. Bearded lycra wearing loon on a touring bike.

Roadies can make fun of my rack, panniers, and all the other junk but my beard is something not to be messed with unless they want to feel the full wrath of my facial hair!

Most excellent method of keeping the face warm. That and tickling the tummy of my toddler. "Daddy! NO!" :p

Roadies can make fun of my rack, panniers, and all the other junk but my beard is something not to be messed with unless they want to feel the full wrath of my facial hair!

haha. my GF feels the full wrath of my facial hair when i kiss her goodnight.

Got the fluorescent jacket, blinkies on my bike and helmet, the dork bands, and my winter beard is coming in nicely (just a goatee--I can't seem to grow a full one--but it makes a huge difference to my chin and mouth).

I realized I'd become a Fred when I decided I would keep the fenders on the commute bike all year because they provide such a nice surface for reflective tape.

Embrace your inner Fredness!

I became one months ago ... now I do't even notice ... ...often anyway. ;)

I realized I'd become a Fred when I decided I would keep the fenders on the commute bike all year because they provide such a nice surface for reflective tape.

yep - i'd say that's the mentality! haha.

when i was a punk kid i used to snicker at guys like us riding around town. i never would have been caught dead in a saftey jacket. little did i know how much fun those guys were probably having. :)

You're not a fred. You're a fashion disaster, but you're definitely not a fred. I wonder if that show "What Not to Wear" could help you find some fashionable, mixed use (cycling and working) clothes? Maybe your gf could nominate you for that and Queer Eye.

Embrace your inner Fredness!

Hey! That's my line! ;)

You're not a fred. You're a fashion disaster, but you're definitely not a fred. I wonder if that show "What Not to Wear" could help you find some fashionable, mixed use (cycling and working) clothes? Maybe your gf could nominate you for that and Queer Eye.

haha. fashion was never my strong suit. i think you have something with that show idea. i wonder how they would 'fix up' a bike commuter? probably just take them to an expensive bike shop and buy all assos matching gear or something.

Hold on a second, you mean there are people who don't do this?

Fold the cuff over and binder clip it. Store the binder clip on your rack or trunk or panniers. Keep at least one extra in case of loss or breakage.

Office supplies as cycling gear: uber-Fred.

I realized I'd become a Fred when I decided I would keep the fenders on the commute bike all year because they provide such a nice surface for reflective tape.

+1

I'm not even commuting right now, but I still love the reflective tape on the fenders year-round. I don't even need the fenders with the dry climate around here, but I love the way a bike looks with fenders. ;)

I rock the dork bands, alert shirts, 3 tailights, 3 headlights during winter/spring, an illuminite vest or a hi-vis jacket during cool/cold weather and sometimes I'll throw on a safety vest in warmer weather if I leave when it is still dark out. I'd add a yellow helmet to the list, but it recently saved my head in a crash so I'm using a different helmet. I miss my yellow helmet though. :(

There are various definitions of Freds floating around out there. David Berstein who hosts the "Fredcast" podcast defines it independent of riding ability, but on the focus on the technical aspects - a Fred can not only tell you which is better - Centaur or Veloce, but also how many grams difference there are in the rder.

To quote David:


The show is called The FredCast because it is aimed at so-called “Freds,” or high-end cyclists who tend to spend a good deal of time and money on their equipment and training. While it is true that several internet dictionaries define a “Fred” as a person who spends a lot of money on his or her bike and clothing (yes, women can be Freds too), but still can’t ride, I tend to disagree. The reason why the so-called “serious” roadies like to disparage us Freds, is because we usually drop the “serious” roadies on the hills or in the town-line sprints. Turns out that lots of those “serious” riders were really posers.

I have been called a Fred time after time, especially by people who see my high-end Italian road bike and all of my gadgets and gizmos. I have always taken the term as one of endearment and not one of scorn, since I usually ride faster than those who call me a Fred and so it has become a badge of honor.

If you listen to podcasts, check out the fredcast - a lot of fun!

I realized I'd become a Fred when I decided I would keep the fenders on the commute bike all year because they provide such a nice surface for reflective tape.

I got fenders not because I could slap more reflective tape on the bike, but because they are made of wood. And they're beautiful! I would never disgrace them with tape or reflectors. So I guess that makes me a Fred...

my rise to fred status started slowly...

first it was tucking my pants into my socks, then it was getting a reflective strap around my pant leg. followed by purchasing a folding bike with a rack, reflectors, and lights. then, i got a head light (those lights you strap around your forehead). BUT i never thought i was a fred until i saw myself with an ultra bright yellow\green hi-res jacket with reflective piping all over it (which i just bought). that just pushed it over the edge.

i even have a beard now. oh boy, could i be more of a poster child for fredism? :p go, ahead, make fun of me as you ride by. i can take it.

...so just to be clear, you were on a folder with rack, reflectors, and lights, your pants leg tucked into your sock, and one of those head torches, and at that point you didn't think you were a fred?:D

were you going on sunday morning training rides with the local racing club in that gear?:p

I'm a fred-killer.


j/k.

...so just to be clear, you were on a folder with rack, reflectors, and lights, your pants leg tucked into your sock, and one of those head torches, and at that point you didn't think you were a fred?:D

were you going on sunday morning training rides with the local racing club in that gear?:p


yeah, for some reason i didn't even think of it until i saw myself in that jacket. :D


and, for the record, i show up to group rides wearing my championship jersey. sometimes i'll mix it up with a KOM or a yellow jersey. :p

Velcro hi-vis ankle band: Got it.
Scotchlite tape patterns on helmet: Oh yeah!
Fenders & mudflaps: You bet.
Crossing guard dork vest: I'm rockin' it.
Safety orange backpack: Soon to have SOLAS reflective stripes and tails, 'cause that's how I roll.
Reflective sidewall tires: I just keep getting cooler, don't I?
Headlight, blinkies, toolkit, mini-pump: :roflmao: I AM MADE OF PURE AWESOME! :roflmao:


/edit -- And a full beard. Can't forget about the beard. :p

Velcro hi-vis ankle band: Got it.
Scotchlite tape patterns on helmet: Oh yeah!
Fenders & mudflaps: You bet.
Crossing guard dork vest: I'm rockin' it.
Safety orange backpack: Soon to have SOLAS reflective stripes and tails, 'cause that's how I roll.
Reflective sidewall tires: I just keep getting cooler, don't I?
Headlight, blinkies, toolkit, mini-pump: :roflmao: I AM MADE OF PURE AWESOME! :roflmao:


/edit -- And a full beard. Can't forget about the beard. :p

hmmm...some good ideas in here. scotchlite on your helmet? you don't say... *scratches beard in thought*

:lol:

If fredism were a felony I'd be heading up the FBI's most wanted list especially since I added a pair of bright orange gloves to the onsomble, that look more like welding gauntlets... I'll have to post a piccie :D

hmmm...some good ideas in here. scotchlite on your helmet? you don't say... *scratches beard in thought*

:lol:

Heck yeah! I bought a 1" x 27" strip of yellow Scotchlite (Nathan's, $5.00 from REI) when I bought my Bell Citi (all shiny black, no reflecties.) I cut the strip lengthwise into 1/4" wide strips so I had 8 feet of the stuff, and used those to trace everything between the vent holes on the helmet.

All you guys need is an aerobelly and a recumbent and you can be included into the cream of bike geekness.

I guess I'm a fred, too, but I don't have fenders. Or a beard.

All you guys need is an aerobelly and a recumbent and you can be included into the cream of bike geekness.

I guess I'm a fred, too, but I don't have fenders. Or a beard.

I think you're a wilma, but I could be wrong.

...and yes, a recumbent or trike is automatic induction to the fredism hall of fame.

I had a dream last night that I was flying on a large passenger jet with my wife. The plane landeded in some grassy field, we deplaned and I went to the airport store - they only sold reflective tape and had the most fanstastic selection I'd ever seen - all sizes, colors, shapes - mostly in page size multipacks diecut into shapes and strips. I was most interested in the DOT class 2 conspicuity tape - one multipack was just white and red sheets, the other just amber - they were $20 each and individually had enough to more than cover every bike I own. But I couldn't decide which one to get, both seemed excessive. I liked the idea of red for the back and white for the front, but also considered just amber as amber in the back would show up better and could be used in front too, but amber wouldn't go as well on my blue, white and red bike. Then I went to purchase and the salesperson had gone off to helpsome else, just then my wife came running up to me saying the plane was leaving - there was no time left to purchase - I considered stealing a pack.... then the dream ended.

Al

I guess I gotta post the definition yet again. ;)

......according to popular myth, "Fred" was a well-known grumpy old touring rider, who really was named Fred.
That man lives near me, and is a friend of my father. Fred A. Birchmore, first man to ride around the world on a bicycle.
http://ec2.images-amazon.com/images/P/1887813128.01._AA240_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg (http://www.amazon.com/Around-World-Bicycle-Fred-Birchmore/dp/1887813128)

He did it on this bike.
http://americanhistory.si.edu/onthemove/img/media/xl/535.jpg (http://americanhistory.si.edu/onthemove/collection/object_310.html)

From the Smithsonian Collection
The donor, a resident of Athens, Georgia, bought this bicycle in Gotha, Germany, in July 1935. An "Original Reinhardt," it was made by Fahrradfabrik Otto Reinhardt, Bielefeld, Germany, and was bought for 67 reichsmarks. In the course of the next two years Mr. Birchmore rode it through western Europe, eastern Europe, Crete, Cyprus, Egypt, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, India, Siam, Indochina, and the Philippines, before pedaling his bicycle home across the United States from California.

It has been estimated that his travels covered approximately 40,000 miles, of which about 25,000 were on the bicycle, and the rest by boat. Approximately four saddle covers and seven sets of tires were worn out during the journey. The present tires were purchased from a shop in Calcutta, India.

The Fred list is never complete:
No-lace, thin soled shoes that easily slip into the toe clips
Cell phone with camera for photographing license plates, road hazards, etc.
Take-A-Look mirror clipped to glasses
Patch of inner tube material zip-tied to top tube to deflect bike rack scratches
Messenger bag with strobe clipped to one of the straps

Bag must at least contain:
Two or more locks
Two or more multi-tools
Complete tube and patch kit, including pump, CO2, and rags
Plastic bags to cover saddle in rain
Spare batteries for lights
Lense wipes, face wipes, deodorant, skin cream

What did I forget?

All you guys need is an aerobelly...

The rounded protrusion of my belly is much more aerodynamic than a flat, wind-catching, washboard 6-pack. :D

The rounded protrusion of my belly is much more aerodynamic than a flat, wind-catching, washboard 6-pack. :D

Just knowing what an aerobelly is is proof you are an uber-geek of bike geekdom.

On the road I think I hit definition 2 pretty well except I wear bike gear (solid bright colors thank you) and know a fair bit about the various technologies even if my fixed gear commuter displays none of them.
As a MTBer I think I may fall in definition 1 as I have a Pugsley with some bling parts which is just way overkill for riding in this area and my skills are definitely lacking.
Ofcourse it seems my recumbent qualifies me as a fred even if it is much more roadie like (light, fast, aerodynamic, 105 components) than my commuter.
Craig

Just knowing what an aerobelly is is proof you are an uber-geek of bike geekdom.
+1
I love this quote. However I think aerobellies are much more effective on recumbents than on uprights.
Craig

I think dreaming about reflective tape is going a little too far, even in this heady realm of Fredism... :eek: :D

I think you're a wilma, but I could be wrong.

...and yes, a recumbent or trike is automatic induction to the fredism hall of fame.

:roflmao: I AM a Wilma!

my rise to fred status started slowly...

i even have a beard now. oh boy, could i be more of a poster child for fredism? :p go, ahead, make fun of me as you ride by. i can take it.
No, you must wait until your beard matches your white sneakers.

What about rubbing dish detergent on your glasses in an attempt to keep them from fogging up with your facemask?

No, you must wait until your beard matches your white sneakers.
That's pretty ageist, isn't it? Only old men can be Freds?

Wilma ... LOL!

I'm going to take a pic tonight when I get suited up. Total Fredness coming soon.

Velcro hi-vis ankle band: Got it.
Scotchlite tape patterns on helmet: Oh yeah!
Fenders & mudflaps: You bet.
Crossing guard dork vest: I'm rockin' it.
Safety orange backpack: Soon to have SOLAS reflective stripes and tails, 'cause that's how I roll.
Reflective sidewall tires: I just keep getting cooler, don't I?
Headlight, blinkies, toolkit, mini-pump: :roflmao: I AM MADE OF PURE AWESOME! :roflmao:


/edit -- And a full beard. Can't forget about the beard. :p

WHAT??? You do that in REDMOND??? Oh, the Horror!!:D

I'm going to take a pic tonight when I get suited up. Total Fredness coming soon.

that's a good idea. i challenge anyone to take a photo of themselves in full commuting gear. we promise not to laugh.....too much. :p

I guess I gotta post the definition yet again. ;)

fred
1) n. a person who spends a lot of money on his bike and clothing, but still can't ride. "What a fred -- too much Lycra and titanium and not enough skill." Synonym for poser. Occasionally called a "barney".
2) n. a person who has a mishmash of old gear, does't care at all about technology or fashion, didn't race or follow racing, etc. Often identified by chainring marks on white calf socks. Used by "serious" roadies to disparage utility cyclists and touring riders, especially after these totally unfashionable "freds" drop the "serious" roadies on hills because the "serious" guys were really posers. This term is from road touring and, according to popular myth, "Fred" was a well-known grumpy old touring rider, who really was named Fred.


You mean 'you' and 'them'?

I think dreaming about reflective tape is going a little too far, even in this heady realm of Fredism... :eek: :D
If I could only control them with precision.

It does make sense to have this as dream material. I recently flew for the holidays and recently have been looking for more DOT tape and was annoyed to find the local price was 4x the online price, so I didn't buy (and didn't steal either ;) ) So my mind was sorting out this jumble of recent memory.

Al

that's a good idea. i challenge anyone to take a photo of themselves in full commuting gear. we promise not to laugh.....too much. :p

Let the laughing commence. This was from last month when we had a 17 degree (F) morning... I do not suit up like this to ride the stationary recumbent I'm standing next to. :p
http://images.tribe.net/tribe/upload/photo/1f9/786/1f9786ef-724c-4415-a2bc-8382933c5308

Oh that's nothing Clifton. That's hardly a Bam Bam. I'll show you Fred in a little bit. LOL!

my rise to fred status started slowly...

first it was tucking my pants into my socks, then it was getting a reflective strap around my pant leg. followed by purchasing a folding bike with a rack, reflectors, and lights. then, i got a head light (those lights you strap around your forehead). BUT i never thought i was a fred until i saw myself with an ultra bright yellow\green hi-vis jacket with reflective piping all over it (which i just bought). that just pushed it over the edge.

i even have a beard now. oh boy, could i be more of a poster child for fredism? :p go, ahead, make fun of me as you ride by. i can take it.

Well...How many freds are actually dead? Arrive alive, change, and go party