Foo - How We Shower

How We Shower
Heres a funny comparison on showering practices between guys and girls. Funny and true!
HOW MEN AND WOMEN SHOWER DIFFERENTLY . . .
http://moronland.net/moronia/moron/1087/

How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

Oh hell...the writers of this little gem have obviously never witnessed me bathing before.

Oh hell...the writers of this little gem have obviously never witnessed me bathing before.

Bathing was not even mentiioned. :p :D

Bathing was not even mentiioned. :p :D


*grumble grumble*

Let's just say that I act much more like the supposed male stereotype in this outline than the female. :p

Damn close dude, I NEVER blow my nose in the shower though.:D

:lol: There's a lot of funny stuff on that website. :D

This is VERY similar to the same passage in the June 2003 Gene Simmons book, Sex Money Kiss.

What about when they both shower at the same time?

What about when they both shower at the same time?
Clothes everywhere, water everywhere, and a lot more wiener-shaking. Not so much of the "woo-woo" sounds, though.

*grumble grumble*

Let's just say that I act much more like the supposed male stereotype in this outline than the female. :p


Oh yeah? What do you shake at Joe when making the "WooWoo" sound? :D:p

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
You mean I'm not supposed to have the shower curtain hanging outside the tub?

Clothes everywhere, water everywhere, and a lot more wiener-shaking. Not so much of the "woo-woo" sounds, though.
:roflmao: haha I bet.

Oh yeah? What do you shake at Joe when making the "WooWoo" sound? :D:p


You have to ask?? ;) :p

BTW, I've never had anyone shake their wiener and go "woowoo" to me as they are walking to the shower.

They forgot the bit about peeing.

You have to ask?? ;) :p

BTW, I've never had anyone shake their wiener and go "woowoo" to me as they are walking to the shower.
What has anyone said to you when shaking their wiener whilst strolling to the shower?

I think I'll stop talking now. :)

They forgot the bit about peeing.
Did not

I think I'll stop talking now. :)
You are wise beyond your years.

;) :)

They forgot the bit about peeing.


Did not In the women's section...

It's a given that a bloke's going to do it anyway.

wooo woooo woo

Oh hell...the writers of this little gem have obviously never witnessed me bathing before.
No....but everybody else has thanks to that super private webcam somebody hid in your bathroom and streams at www.shadiyahsbathroom.com. :D :eek:

:rolleyes: OK....that was weak, but come on....at least give me a giggle.

No....but everybody else has thanks to that super private webcam somebody hid in your bathroom and streams at www.shadiyahsbathroom.com. :D :eek:

:rolleyes: OK....that was weak, but come on....at least give me a giggle.
What you should have done was a concealed hotlink behind the link to go to a bathroom picture,

Like this

Shadiya's Bathroom (http://www.heritagebathrooms.com/images/hp_traditional_suite.jpg)

Now this ain't it!;) :D

What about when they both shower at the same time?

and you are how old? I think we're helping the young man grow up, kids. ;)

So not how it is at my house.

More like this:
Walk into bathroom. Step into 2 inches of water from kids leaving curtain out of shower. Curse. Walk out of bathroom. Yell at kids. Curse. Take off pants. Hang them over the bed. Look at wiener in mirror. Curse. Walk back into shower. Curse at water on floor again. Put down towel. Put curtain inside shower. Turn on water. Step in shampoo from tipped container. Curse. Clean up mess. Reorganize shampoo, conditioner, facial scrub, shaving cream. Pick up toys, baby dolls, hair pins, razors, rubber bands, soap bits, caps to various object. Curse. Pull 2 pounds of hair out of drain. Try to unclog drain with foot. Notice water is going cold. Curse. Clean off soap bits. Wash from head to toe with a single square inch, eighth inch thick piece of soap. Find a razor that doesn’t look like it’s been down in a well for 2 decades. Shave with old razor. Curse. Bleed. Curse. Rinse off with cold water. Put everything back and in order. Throw soap bits away. Use the only towel available now – one that has dried up like a potato sack on the back of the door. Curse. Wrap bloody, potato sack around the naught area. Dry floor with other towel. Open empty deodorant container. Curse. Scrape last flakes under arms. Wait for the burning to subside with arms splayed out like a bird. Take off towel. Look at wiener. Curse. Put on pants. Take bloody towels to laundry room. Yell at kids and wife.

You have to ask?? ;) :p

BTW, I've never had anyone shake their wiener and go "woowoo" to me as they are walking to the shower.

I agree Shadiyah, I just want to die laughing when I read that sentence!!! :lol: I too never have had that happen.

Its close but I usually say "how you doin?"

Actually we shower together a lot to a.................conserve water, yeah thats it. ;)

No....but everybody else has thanks to that super private webcam somebody hid in your bathroom and streams at www.shadiyahsbathroom.com. :D :eek:

:rolleyes: OK....that was weak, but come on....at least give me a giggle.


Hey! I put that there for my own private uses! Damned internets.

So not how it is at my house.

More like this:
Walk into bathroom. Step into 2 inches of water from kids leaving curtain out of shower. Curse. Walk out of bathroom. Yell at kids. Curse. Take off pants. Hang them over the bed. Look at wiener in mirror. Curse. Walk back into shower. Curse at water on floor again. Put down towel. Put curtain inside shower. Turn on water. Step in shampoo from tipped container. Curse. Clean up mess. Reorganize shampoo, conditioner, facial scrub, shaving cream. Pick up toys, baby dolls, hair pins, razors, rubber bands, soap bits, caps to various object. Curse. Pull 2 pounds of hair out of drain. Try to unclog drain with foot. Notice water is going cold. Curse. Clean off soap bits. Wash from head to toe with a single square inch, eighth inch thick piece of soap. Find a razor that doesn’t look like it’s been down in a well for 2 decades. Shave with old razor. Curse. Bleed. Curse. Rinse off with cold water. Put everything back and in order. Throw soap bits away. Use the only towel available now – one that has dried up like a potato sack on the back of the door. Curse. Wrap bloody, potato sack around the naught area. Dry floor with other towel. Open empty deodorant container. Curse. Scrape last flakes under arms. Wait for the burning to subside with arms splayed out like a bird. Take off towel. Look at wiener. Curse. Put on pants. Take bloody towels to laundry room. Yell at kids and wife.

whoa, that's quite a morning routein you got there. sorry about the small weiner.

:lol:

I agree Shadiyah, I just want to die laughing when I read that sentence!!! :lol: I too never have had that happen.

That's cause neither of you has ever lived with me. Usually lewd thrusting motions are enough, but sometimes a good "woo woo" adds an element of sophistication to the thrusting.

My showers don't last very long.

My son accuses me of not even getting wet.

Unless, of course, my wife tosses a glass of cold water on me...

I have a fun family, or so I'm told...

That's cause neither of you has ever lived with me. Usually lewd thrusting motions are enough, but sometimes a good "woo woo" adds an element of sophistication to the thrusting.


Yup, that sounds so sexy...

Seriously??? Woo woo? That's a froo froo drink with cranberry juice. A "hey baby" or "oh yeah" would maybe work better. Maybe.

My showers don't last very long.

My son accuses me of not even getting wet.

Unless, of course, my wife tosses a glass of cold water on me...

I have a fun family, or so I'm told...

One house we lived in years ago had a skylight in the shower. One day I was outside and could tell someone was in the shower (the skylight was open), so I targetted the skylight with the garden hose. :D

LOL! Awesome.

Living in a house with three adult women if I don't get up at 5 AM I will never see the shower before 9 AM. The gym became my favorite shower...no "women's" things all over the place. God forbid if I ever left "hair" on the soap. There is no defending that in the G household.

Living in a house with three adult women if I don't get up at 5 AM I will never see the shower before 9 AM.

I'd inquire about "sharing." :D :o

I agree Shadiyah, I just want to die laughing when I read that sentence!!! :lol: I too never have had that happen.

You're young. Give it time.

Yup, that sounds so sexy...

Seriously??? Woo woo? That's a froo froo drink with cranberry juice. A "hey baby" or "oh yeah" would maybe work better. Maybe.

"Does my wiener look fat in this towel?"

How We Shower
Heres a funny comparison on showering practices between guys and girls. Funny and true!
HOW MEN AND WOMEN SHOWER DIFFERENTLY . . .
http://moronland.net/moronia/moron/1087/

How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

Good stuff, but i am not that crazy.

So not how it is at my house.

More like this:
Walk into bathroom. Step into 2 inches of water from kids leaving curtain out of shower. Curse. Walk out of bathroom. Yell at kids. Curse. Take off pants. Hang them over the bed. Look at wiener in mirror. Curse. Walk back into shower. Curse at water on floor again. Put down towel. Put curtain inside shower. Turn on water. Step in shampoo from tipped container. Curse. Clean up mess. Reorganize shampoo, conditioner, facial scrub, shaving cream. Pick up toys, baby dolls, hair pins, razors, rubber bands, soap bits, caps to various object. Curse. Pull 2 pounds of hair out of drain. Try to unclog drain with foot. Notice water is going cold. Curse. Clean off soap bits. Wash from head to toe with a single square inch, eighth inch thick piece of soap. Find a razor that doesn’t look like it’s been down in a well for 2 decades. Shave with old razor. Curse. Bleed. Curse. Rinse off with cold water. Put everything back and in order. Throw soap bits away. Use the only towel available now – one that has dried up like a potato sack on the back of the door. Curse. Wrap bloody, potato sack around the naught area. Dry floor with other towel. Open empty deodorant container. Curse. Scrape last flakes under arms. Wait for the burning to subside with arms splayed out like a bird. Take off towel. Look at wiener. Curse. Put on pants. Take bloody towels to laundry room. Yell at kids and wife.

:roflmao:

Yup, that sounds so sexy...

A "hey baby" or "oh yeah" would maybe work better. Maybe.

You really think so?

When we moved in here 9 years ago, i laid claim to the downstairs bathroom. I am very Al Bundy like when it comes to that. My shower\bathroom is a sanctimonious place.

Here's the routine....

roll out of bed onto floor
somehow become upright, grunt loudly to teh world at this great achievement
walk to teh bathroom, bumping into things, and grunting
enter bathroom, growl about how bright the f*%$&*@ lights are
shave
remove drawers, jump into shower, being immediately burnt by steaming hot water
jump out, remind self to turn on cold water, and then do so
climb back in, soap self up, rinse, wash hair, rinse, exfoliating pad on face, fart, pee
climb out, dry off
qtip to the ears, brush teeth, comb hair, apply skin tonic/aftershave, and deodorant stick.
grab drawers, carry them to bedroom in hand, throw them in a random place, go into the closet, and grab clothes....dress up, roll up right pant leg, grab helmet/messenger bag, and get the hell to work!

Oh hell...the writers of this little gem have obviously never witnessed me bathing before.

I can write a counter article, can I 'research' your methods? :D

I agree Shadiyah, I just want to die laughing when I read that sentence!!! :lol: I too never have had that happen.

Let me be the first...now if I can only find that lil thang...:eek:

Yup, that sounds so sexy...

Seriously??? Woo woo? That's a froo froo drink with cranberry juice. A "hey baby" or "oh yeah" would maybe work better. Maybe.

FOO FOO perhaps? ;)

FOO FOO perhaps? ;)

Wazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzup.

Shower - Costa Rica Style.

1. Wake up EARLY - Howler Monkeys can give you nightmares. A mix of Howler Monkeys and Roosters is just plain weird.
2. Wonder if the lizards are on the floor or not, hopefully not something worse. Turn on outside flood lights to attract insects away from screens so that you don't become a feast inside the shower.
3. Squeeze into the shower - we are current rebuilding a house, but so far, it is in Tico dimensions - which is about half my size. The shower is a concrete stall - no tile.
4. Make sure the current is turned on to the heater installed as the shower head. We call this device a suicide shower by the way. It draws 50 AMPS! Imagine looking at 10 gauge wire going to a shower head - if you let the local lunatics wire it, they won't connect the ground.
5. Turn shower on and find the right temperature. This is done by regulating the flow compared to the ability of the shower head to heat.
6. Enjoy the shower - since the heat is on demand, there is no running out of hot water. Stay until you turn into a prune if you wish. Electricity is cheap here too.
7. Lather, rinse repeat. Sometimes the electricity cuts off while in the shower - on demand shower means that it is now instant cold water. Screams heard throughout echoing from the mountainside - Don Fred convinced locals do it just to hear the screams...
8. Try to find a towel that isn't too damp. We live in a rainforest - this means everything is slightly damp - you get used it and think everything is too dry up north.
9. Streak across the house for your clothes, hoping that all the workers aren't outside yet - they start at 6:00 am. They are all male, but we don't want to scare them. Your clothes are not in the shower with you because there isn't enough room, and they are already damp enough.

I didn't mention check shower for poisonous critters by the way...