Foo - How much should I reveal about my feelings after 1 date?

outdated.

I went on two first dates with (obviously) 2 different women this past week. both women were very eligible bachelorettes, but one girl really stands out among all other girls i have dated in the past. she has a certain way about her that i find very appealing. i had been communicating with her all thru Xmas and finally had the chance to meet. however, it has only been one date, and it's specifically because i like her that i don't want to scare her off.

soooo....how much should i reveal to her about my thoughts about her?

Don't show all of your self at once, just give her bits and pieces.

...But tell us EVERYTHING!!

just give her bits and pieces.
show her the bits first though.

outdated.

Well, first of all don't reveal that you are dating two different women.

OK, I realize this topic and question lends itself to all sorts of funny response...which I appreciate, don't get me wrong...but I hope to find some genuine insight here as well. if i can't count on Foo, who can I count on?

If you can sort of the facts from the fiction from us you will be fine.

outdated.

I'd let her know how you truly feel, don't hold anything back.

What does your heart tell you?

outdated.

If you want to let her know that she's special, keep asking her out. Time and attention are the best way to tell her. Anyone can say you're special. Someone who means it will show it.

Don't get all emotional so soon. Just enjoy yourself and have fun with her. Be a happy moment in her life. If something better becomes of it then fine. But don't worry about eternity so soon. Just be happy with the fact that you are a happy man today.

Wow, couldn't have put it better myself.

i like this advice. if it has the potential i think it has, i dont need to urge it along by getting all emotional and pouring my heart out too quickly.Totally right. Take it easy and don't get too anxious. I've learned the hard way that the fastest way to scare someone off is by being too open too soon. Give it time. Let her chase a little bit. It's more exciting for her that way and will keep her interest as you continue to get to know each other.

Don't know how old you are. And I honestly think that this makes a difference. Guys?

outdated.

im a young 33; she's a mature 25

8 years eh?, i have seen people get married and be 10+ years apart in age. So i am not going to say anything negative about that.

outdated.

Ordinarily i shoot for later 20s or early 30s. 25 is at the low end of the range, but not out of the question. My experience has been that if age is an issue the lady will take the initiative not to pursue things. I know it sounds cliche, but she's mature for her age. she's unique, not like alotta immature and cocky recent college grads. she's very intellectual and well read, too.

Great then the advantage goes to you:) .

I went on two first dates with (obviously) 2 different women this past week. both women were very eligible bachelorettes, but one girl really stands out among all other girls i have dated in the past. she has a certain way about her that i find very appealing. i had been communicating with her all thru Xmas and finally had the chance to meet. however, it has only been one date, and it's specifically because i like her that i don't want to scare her off.

soooo....how much should i reveal to her about my thoughts about her?


1. Provide as much background info as possible (age, sex, location, religion intentions etc if applicable)

2. General principles

* ALWAYS communicate FIRST with actions. Women listen to this. The best salesperson in the world CANNOT use words to woo. IT IS THEIR ACTIONS that communicate, words are just the grease.

* Just have fun. That sends the best message to a woman that you could ever have. If the woman brings up feelings then great but STAY MALE!!!!!!!

OK, let me ask another way -- should I tell her that she really stands out among every other women i have dated and that she has a certain way about her that i find really appealing? or is it too early to say any more than i enjoyed the date, let's see each other again.


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

SLOW DOWN THERE NELLY. Take it easy and let it flow. It will happen naturally. Focus on you not her.

im a young 33; she's a mature 25
I was a mature 25 when my husband won me over. :D

If it really feels right for you, continue to see her. Exceptional men or women at this age are rare, apparently....

Blowing your load too early is never good in any aspect of Love.

do like one of my bros. go back to her place and make out with her on the first date. And then come back *****ing about it.

Blowing your load too early is never good in any aspect of Love.
OMG! I agree with 'Pup! :eek:

But this is all-so-true....

soooo....how much should i reveal to her about my thoughts about her?Dude, are you a man or Mini Mouse? NEVER, EVER reveal ANYTHING about yourself to chics!!! Keep 'em guessing and make them pull it out of you!!! In general, less is more and actions speak louder than words... your body-language and posture will reveal 80-90% of the message, so make sure you manage the subconscous cues or else you're gonna freak her out by revealing too much.


Don't show all of your self at once, just give her bits and pieces.EXACTLY! Give 'er a little taste of what she craves and desires, then pull it away and make her BEG for more!!! That implies you're actually being observant and are truly listening to her to know what it is she truly desires. All chics will drop key-words in their conversation. Show her a little peek... then walk away... ;)

Actually, good practice for dealing with chics is playing with used-car salesmen. Go in during the last week of the month and wheel & deal them into the ground and squeeze 'em for all they're worth. When you can get a car for %50 off and they're pleading with you to take it off their hands as you're walking off the lot, you got the game down... :)

..
I'd let her know how you truly feel, don't hold anything back.

Just be yourself, no freakin games. If you think she's a special gal, tell her so, but at the same time don't go getting all serious when you really don't even know each other yet. Relax, have fun, appreciate each moment and let the future take care of itself, one day at a time.

feeling special is one great thing! tell her at least that she's been on your mind or that you find her amaaaaaaazing!!!! :)

if i can't count on Foo, who can I count on?

your friends.

your friends.
:lol:

In all honesty, this is nearly an impossible question. How she will react depends on what kind of person she is and what her experiences are. We she see you as a stalker type? Will she see you as sincere? You could do the same exact thing with two people and have very different results.

But, I do agree, don't play act. Be yourself, but don't act like you think she is perfect in every way, because she will know you are wrong - and probably run screaming. She might be flattered - but from very far away.

Be honest, but realize that your current evaluation might change with time (she might be the stalker!). Give your time to make a correct evaluation. You think she is cool - fine, that is good, means there should be another date.

It probably wouldn't hurt to tell her, at the end of your next date, how comfortable you feel with her, or that you really enjoy spending time with her... not too emotional, but she'll get the hint that you like her alot...

The less you reveal the better.. keep her guessing. Being mysterious is a great quality, it makes you spontaneous and exciting. Half the fun of dating is working towards your goal of winning someone over, noone wants a person who is won over so easily because we think that they do this all the time. The less you tell her, the better.

OK, I realize this topic and question lends itself to all sorts of funny response...which I appreciate, don't get me wrong...but I hope to find some genuine insight here as well. if i can't count on Foo, who can I count on?

Take it real slow. If you rush it she'll think you're one of those clingy/needy guys. At this stage you need to remain dark and mysterious with some toughness and rebelliousness. It's her job to cut through those manly layers to the sensitive man she knows is deep inside. If you expose that side too early, she loses respect for you.

However, if she were to hear about you reading books to children stricken with cancer, that would be cool. But she can't hear it from you.

DO NOT tell her you belong to BikeForums.

Dude, are you a man or Mini Mouse? NEVER, EVER reveal ANYTHING about yourself to chics!!! Keep 'em guessing and make them pull it out of you!!! In general, less is more and actions speak louder than words... your body-language and posture will reveal 80-90% of the message, so make sure you manage the subconscous cues or else you're gonna freak her out by revealing too much.


As usual, I agree with Danno

I agree with crtreedude and apclasssic9. But what it really comes down to is you, her, and how you get along. Too much too soon is bad and playing hard to get can be bad depending on your relationship. Test the waters with apclaassic9's statement of you really enjoy spending time with her. From there you will need to gauge how you, as a couple, are communicating.

Treat each relationship as a independant and new experience. Even though people are alike, each individual is different as is each relationship. She may give you clues or wait for you to make the first move. Basically, what works for Danno may or may not work for you. Be prepared, be yourself, and go with whatever happens at the moment.

OK, let me ask another way -- should I tell her that she really stands out among every other women i have dated and that she has a certain way about her that i find really appealing? or is it too early to say any more than i enjoyed the date, let's see each other again.

UMMMM....NO! we don't want to feel like we are on some dating game or in a contest (although i really like to win!).

I can appreciate that your intention would be genuine in that you want to let her know that you really like her. My suggestion at this point is that the best way to show her you are interested is to ask her out again. See where it goes from there. If things progress and you two start spending more time together, then you can start the gushing praises :D . Right now, though, next step is another date.

Hope this helps. Hope you get to see her again. Have fun!

Good things to say after 2nd date:
"I had a really good time with you tonight."
"Tonight was fun. Hey, there's a art exhibit/football game/(insert whatever you both might be interested in here) going on next weekend, would you like to check it out?"

Ask her out again, that will let her know that you're interested. Go for a kiss if she seems receptive and if you haven't already kissed her. This also makes it clear you don't just want a buddy to hang out with! If you tell her you'll call, call when you say you will.

Bad things to say after 2nd date:
"I'm going to marry you someday."
"Wanna meet my parents?"
"You make my pants tight." (well, depending on the girl, this could be a GOOD thing to say, but most likely not! :D)

Don't push too much or too fast. Concentrate on having fun with someone cool that you'd like to get to know better. People can smell desperation a mile away, and at age 25, she might not necessarily be looking for "the one." If things work out and you two fall in love, you can tell her that from the first date, she stood out and was above and beyond every other woman you've met. Heck, that might even be a good thing to put in wedding vows. But, do not tell her this until you have a committed relationship (so she can't run away)! ;) If you tell her now, you put the ball in her court and she has all the control over the relationship. Not a great idea! Don't play games, but don't give up too much this early either. Good luck!

Bad things to say after 2nd date:
"I'm going to marry you someday."


My husband used this line... 25 years or so ago... on our 2nd date!

I went on two first dates with (obviously) 2 different women this past week. both women were very eligible bachelorettes, but one girl really stands out among all other girls i have dated in the past. she has a certain way about her that i find very appealing. i had been communicating with her all thru Xmas and finally had the chance to meet. however, it has only been one date, and it's specifically because i like her that i don't want to scare her off.

soooo....how much should i reveal to her about my thoughts about her?

None...............play it smooth and take your time and she will be like buttah in your warm hands! But if you choose the other way then by all means screw it up!

Any update, Towlie? curious and nosey minds want to know....

Yes please do tell :)

I think the part we're missing is what Towlie wants to come out of an encountre with this chic:

1. one-night stand?
2. casual friends?
3. best friends?
4. friends with benefits?
5. exclusive friends with benefits?
6. casual romantic dating?
7. exclusive romantic dating?
8. lover?
9. girlfriend?
10. wife?
11. ex-wife?

Each one of these types of relationships would then require a different approach based upon the combination of personalities involved... there's no "one approach fits all" universal rule here...