Foo - Big life decisions make Eboo's head hurt

So...a couple weeks ago I was interviewed for a job in New York City. I've been trying to forget about it and talk myself out the whole shabang, expecting the worse.

They just called, and offered me the job. With a MUCH higher than anticipated salary.

The biggest reason why I wouldn't want to move is family. My sister is about to have her first baby, the first baby of this family's next generation. My sisters and I are really tight as well. However, I'll be able to travel home easily enough via plane or train, and often.

I was kinda hoping to get some insight from people here who have been through a situation like this. Was moving a great distance from your family hard? Any country/farm people move to a big city, and adjust well? WILL THE PIGEONS GIVE ME GROSS DISEASES??!

Sorry I can't offer any insight, but CONGRATS on the job offer that is always a good feeling. :)

So... WILL THE PIGEONS GIVE ME GROSS DISEASES??!

Only if you eat them or invite them into your $1,700/month studio apartment. :D

I've never moved very far from my family, but I say go for it! That is so awesome about the offer! It will be different and new, but it sounds like it wouldn't be too far away. :) Congrats Eboo!

Only if you eat them or invite them into your $1,700/month studio apartment. :D

Aha! Not so...already have that lined up as well...$800 a month in Astoria with a fellow librarian friend...beautiful neighborhood, and a nice place to keep my bikes.

Get Vonage, that way your phone is flat rated and take the job! It's only a 5 hr drive home!

I can't offer any insight, but I had something similar happen. I was offered a job on the West Coast for a price that sounded like a way good amount. During the weekend of the interview, I looked around at cost of living, from paying $250 a month just for a parking place near my job [1], to paying $3k a month for a place that I can sleep that isn't in an area where bullets are not flying by come dusk, to the cost of a new vehicle (because my would-be boss stated that Ford F-150s were sooo not stylish in the parking lot and demanded it be replaced with a more "California-style" vehicle like a Lexus, BMW, Mercedes, Acura, or Hummer,) and the fact that the job would be one it would be salaried, but would have lots of overtime...

After all that, I realized that I didn't want to go to a strange land, make far less (factoring in all the costs of living), and work twice as many hours...

I turned the job offer down, and for the remainder of my time there, I just went clubbing and had the time of my life.


[1]: The job required a "California style" car because of clients.

Yep - besides, there isn't much happening in the job market in Buffalo is there? After all, Buffalo isn't much of a town...

Oh, before you lose it, you know I am originally from Rochester? :D

Aha! Not so...already have that lined up as well...$800 a month in Astoria with a fellow librarian friend...beautiful neighborhood, and a nice place to keep my bikes.
Well, I think you're quite fortunate. Might as well try it - but don't go overboard on pigeon recipes.

<edit> You know he's really from Henrietta. I'm from Rochester. :D

I didn't move away, but my family did leaving me all alone in NYC. Take the job, move to Astoria where there's a sh*t ton of Greek and Mediterranean restaurants, some good riding and lots to do. Plus Queens got like every ethnicity on earth so you know the food's good and they got mtb trails in Cunningham Park. Plus we got culture everywhere! And like you said, there's transportation options to go back for family visits.

Pittsford if you really want to know - the snooty part of town. I went to Henrietta school because that is where I was most of the time - but we upgraded to Pittsford. :D

...Plus we got culture everywhere! ...

Good thing we're not wall-wall culture out here in the sticks. :p :D

Pittsford if you really want to know - the snooty part of town. ...

There's an un-snooty part of Pittsford? :eek: :D

Pittsford if you really want to know - the snooty part of town. I went to Henrietta school because that is where I was most of the time - but we upgraded to Pittsford. :D

Too funny...I used to be in Pittsford all the time, and Webster. No, I know western ny has no real job opportunities for me. I've just never been so far away from family before. I'm a huge, whiny loser. It's just hard for me to justify moving away from a tiny, wriggling mammal that shares some of my DNA.

I grew up in the sticks and moved across the entire country to live in Phoenix, very far away from my family. I hated it (being away from family, not Phoenix) and moved back.

Go for it. In another year or so, something may open up for you somewhere else. In the meantime, you'll have that much more experience, you'll have a better idea about the travel burden, and you be making money and contributing to society in the meantime. Plus, there's a number of cool BF/Foo'ers in NYC. :)

See, youse got fam'ly deh, too. :D

This is one of those times that you have to ask. Can I always move back home and be close to family? Yes. Will I still be able to visit them several times a year if I take this job? Yes. Will I always be able to take this job in NYC, make more money and try something different. No.

I think you should take the job and get the place with your friend. I've had a few situations similar to yours and I've not regretted taking advantage of any of them. The only things I've regretted in my life are the times/things I look back at and say "I should have tried that, or experienced that or taken advantage of that opportunity." Sometimes that means stepping outside your "Comfort Zone" or having to depend on yourself a little bit more, but it's worth it.

I say Go For It! And you'll be even closer to some of us other Foosters. Heck, we can even pick you up on the way through to Lancaster this summer!!:p ;)

Good Luck with your decision and congrats on the job offer!:D

I say give it a shot. You may always wonder what would have been if you don't try the new job. If it ends up not being the best move for you just look at it as a stepping stone to something else. You can always go home, right?

Congratulations and best of luck!!!

Gypsy :D

Edited to add... I left a small North Jersey town to become a travel nurse when I was 25 and over the next two years I moved to Orlando, FL, Phoenix, AZ, Fresno, CA, Los Angeles, CA, Tucson, AZ and Denver CO before going back to New Jersey. City life was very different and took some getting used to but I loved it! After the first couple weeks I would adjust to the new place. I recommend going to a visitors center and taking advantage of all the tourist stuff as well as doing what the locals do! I missed my family but kept in touch and went home for every holiday. Have a great time!

Putting aside those minor family and money considerations, does the job offer an opportunity to do something you really want to do?

Hey, NYC is a fun place. I moved there when I was 17, and left 16 years later.

Too funny...I used to be in Pittsford all the time, and Webster. No, I know western ny has no real job opportunities for me. I've just never been so far away from family before. I'm a huge, whiny loser. It's just hard for me to justify moving away from a tiny, wriggling mammal that shares some of my DNA.
Look at it this way: Auntie Eboo in NYC will become a wonderful person/place to visit - full of fun and adventure! My aunt lives in Los Angeles, and vacations there from Detroit were always so exciting. She would be the first to assure you that you can have a tight-knit family despite distances if you work at it. She and my dad were very close when he was alive. My brother and I are both over 30, and yet we are still incredibly close to our aunt.

I still say you are cut out of good Hoboing cloth!! I see you as a hobo or a lumberjack, or ideally both, using the North American rail system to follow the migrating herds of trees.

It's never easy to move away from family...but it's perfectly doable.

Actually the ahrdest part for me wasn't moving away, it was getting my mother to stop call-bombing me every night and overwriting all the messages on my answering machine. She eventually calmed down a bit, and I was finally able to get less than 30 messages a night from her.

So...a couple weeks ago I was interviewed for a job in New York City. I've been trying to forget about it and talk myself out the whole shabang, expecting the worse.

They just called, and offered me the job. With a MUCH higher than anticipated salary.

The biggest reason why I wouldn't want to move is family. My sister is about to have her first baby, the first baby of this family's next generation. My sisters and I are really tight as well. However, I'll be able to travel home easily enough via plane or train, and often.

I was kinda hoping to get some insight from people here who have been through a situation like this. Was moving a great distance from your family hard? Any country/farm people move to a big city, and adjust well? WILL THE PIGEONS GIVE ME GROSS DISEASES??!

Depends man, yeah better job and more salary is good. But if it is going to hurt your family relationships and make it harder to spend time with family i would not do it. Family comes first, money and good jobs are always out there. But if you feel this is your big opportunity to success then i would go for it.

In my opinion being 377 miles from your family is not that far and you could travel there in about 5 to 6 hours or 4 hours if you are like me. :D No doubt with your nice salary you could have nice enough transportation to visit regularly. That is, if you can keep a car in New York meaning the difficult streets and parking hardships.

As far as living in New York City I have found that it is a love or hate thing. Some of my friends in Atlanta moved to New York resulting in some of them loving it while others could not wait to move. Because you are a country girl does not preclude you from adjusting to life there. It's a fast paced city where some can keep up with it while others don't want to bother with the hectic inner city life.

My thoughts are if you pass up this oppurtunity you will regret it. If you take the job and move there you may find you don't like it. But at least the question will be fully resolved in you mind.

Good luck!

I left home at 17. One thing I learned in the years since is that you can ALWAYS go home - in fact you learn to appreciate your home town and your family just a bit more when you spend time away. I live back near the same area I grew up in now, after almost 30 years of living and travelling all over the world. Get out and see the world and take your shot kiddo...you can always go home, but missed opportunities hardly ever give you a chance for a do-over. Besides, NYC isn't exactly the ends-of-the-earth away from Buffalo and visiting is allowed. ;)

Thing to remember, no matter how fast-paced the city is....you can make your home as slow paced as you like :)

Just make the home a place of divine comfort....where you can kick back and forget about the traffic, and the rest of the city...just you, a book and whatever else is going on in your abode.

Since it sounds like you might be sharing a place....make your room that place of zen.

Not exactly the same experience as you will be going through (assuming you take the job) ... and certainly not the same scale of city, however my wife (originally from a small farm in Saskatchewan, Canada) and I moved to the Toronto area 7 years ago. The adjustment for us was a bit tough for the 1st year, however once we got into the groove of the city and met a few people we loved it. To help yourself make the decision, try to envision yourself 30 years from now and if you would be kicking yourself for not taking this opportunity.

Yes the downside is that you will get various gross deseases from the pigeons. I suggest you avoid going under bridges whenever possible. :D

I left home at 17. One thing I learned in the years since is that you can ALWAYS go home - in fact you learn to appreciate your home town and your family just a bit more when you spend time away. I live back near the same area I grew up in now, after almost 30 years of living and travelling all over the world. Get out and see the world and take your shot kiddo...you can always go home, but missed opportunities hardly ever give you a chance for a do-over. Besides, NYC isn't exactly the ends-of-the-earth away from Buffalo and visiting is allowed. ;)

+1

Difference was I left home at 16.

Less than 400 miles thats hardly any distance, I say go for it.

Oh and my family are 5000 miles away and my father & I talk more than we did when I lived in the same town.

I'm probably not the one to offer any advice. I enjoy visiting NYC, but you'd have to pay me high 7 figures or more for me to live and work there.

Good luck with whichever direction you go!

I'm probably not the one to offer any advice. I enjoy visiting NYC, but you'd have to pay me high 7 figures or more for me to live and work there...

+1

Have you considered running away from home and joining the circus? You would make a great lion tamer. Or come to Texas, become a cowgirl and call yourself "High Pockets".

Do you have other offers to compare it to?

I don't really have any advice to offer. I suck at these sort of decisions. They usually make me break down and roll on the floor crying.

Oh, and despite my many misadventures, I now live about 6 miles from the place where I grew up. :D

Back in 1964 I move out of NJ (within a couple miles of NYC) to Springfield, MA to go to college. Never really came back to NJ to live. I've lived in CT since 1969 and tend to think of myself as a New Englander these days. I had/have plenty of family in NJ, although only 130 mi. away. I would NEVER move back to NJ. Here's why. The pace of life in the NYC area is slightly slower than the speed of light. If you think you will ever be on a roadway in your car with little traffic (even at 3 AM on a Tuesday) you are wrong. Plan on driving an hour (or more) to find a place to ride your bicycle where you won't feel like you have a target on your back. Plan on having locks and alarms on everything you own. Except for a couple of years when I lived in Hartford, CT, I have never locked the door to my house. In general, the population density in any really large city and it's environs is not good for those of us who want to live life at a humane pace and enjoy outdoor activities.

A NY joke that makes the point about the pace of life and is all too true:

A woman in NYC is waiting on line to get her morning coffee on her way to work. Finally, it's her turn and the man at the counter says, "What will you have?" She says, "I'm trying to decide between the bagel and the crosissant." He says, "Next!"

It's hard to relate as I'd prefer to be away from my family to see how that feels. I'm so different from them its kinda frustrating sometimes.

I guess I can't really offer any advice....if it were me I'd be off in a heartbeat, but you have to follow your own heartbeat.

So...a couple weeks ago I was interviewed for a job in New York City. I've been trying to forget about it and talk myself out the whole shabang, expecting the worse.

They just called, and offered me the job. With a MUCH higher than anticipated salary.

The biggest reason why I wouldn't want to move is family. My sister is about to have her first baby, the first baby of this family's next generation. My sisters and I are really tight as well. However, I'll be able to travel home easily enough via plane or train, and often.

I was kinda hoping to get some insight from people here who have been through a situation like this. Was moving a great distance from your family hard? Any country/farm people move to a big city, and adjust well? WILL THE PIGEONS GIVE ME GROSS DISEASES??!
Yes. Biggest thing is to try to visit family often, especially if this is the first time moving a great distance from them. I didn't learn that early enough so I let the stress of everything going on around me and on the job(s) consume me. Just learn to dabble in some of your favorite past times while still exploring new things/ways to have fun.

Good luck and welcome! You'll find it a bit of a shock compared to Buffalo but give it at least six months.

Thanks guys. I called in to take the job this afternoon. I start March 19th.

It would be ridiculous for me not to. It's in my field (medical librarian) and my co-workers would be awesome. Thanks for all the kind words :) Now I just need to grow the balls to bike in Manhatten...

Thanks guys. I called in to take the job this afternoon. I start March 19th.

It would be ridiculous for me not to. It's in my field (medical librarian) and my co-workers would be awesome. Thanks for all the kind words :) Now I just need to grow the balls to bike in Manhatten...
I think growing yourself a set might be anatomically inappropriate!;)

Congrats and I hope you love it!!!

Maybe while working in the medical library you can research the growing of said balls?

Gypsy

There's tons of BFers in NYC. Come ride w/ us sometime. Check out www.times-up.org for some cool social rides through Prospect Park, Central Park and Riverside Park.

... Now I just need to grow the balls to bike in Manhatten...
I'd advise against that for several reasons. :p

1. Wouldn't fit your persona.
2. You'd need to take a subway or ride over a really skanky bridge to get there
3. There's no such place. :D

Aha! Not so...already have that lined up as well...$800 a month in Astoria with a fellow librarian friend...beautiful neighborhood, and a nice place to keep my bikes.
Astoria is great, just a quick ride on the N train over into town and it's a really cool neighborhood. Very greek, lots of great food

I think growing yourself a set might be anatomically inappropriate!;)

I smell an "Is Eboo a transvestite" thread brewing. :eek:

I think growing yourself a set might be anatomically inappropriate!;)
well, he/she is a medical librarian, so you could look up info on how to do the procedure, etc.

Thanks guys. I called in to take the job this afternoon. I start March 19th.

It would be ridiculous for me not to. It's in my field (medical librarian) and my co-workers would be awesome. Thanks for all the kind words :) Now I just need to grow the balls to bike in Manhatten...


WOOT! :beer:

Please don't grow teh balls, though. I like your Y-chromosomes just the way they are.

Thanks guys. I called in to take the job this afternoon. I start March 19th.

It would be ridiculous for me not to. It's in my field (medical librarian) and my co-workers would be awesome. Thanks for all the kind words :) Now I just need to grow the balls to bike in Manhatten...


Hooray! :beer:

Judging from the admittedly limited information I have, I think you made the right choice. Good luck with your move and your new job!

NYC is the s**t! Drop us a line when you get down there and we'll take you around for a tour.

I say move.

I'd rather deal with the hassle of having to move back if the job didn't work out than to deal with the thought of "Man, I could've had that..."