1. The only jersey I've ever owned was for a slow pitch softball team. And it was really a tee shirt with some cheesey silk screening.
2. My very first post on this forum was to talk about underwear. I've still never owned a real pair of bike shorts. Someday I might, but then again, I might not.
3. I thought chamois was a kind of goat. I'm still pretty sure it is.
4. I wear white tube socks. All the time.
5. When it's warm out I wear baggy shorts with comfortable underwear when I ride my bike. Top? T shirt. When it's cold, baggy wind pants and a baggy wind shirt, with various layers under them. I don't even know what leg warmers or arm warmers look like.
6. The middle name on my driver's license is --- you guessed it, FRED
7. I only have one bike. And it's a NAVIGATOR. With a rack on the back.
8. When I ride the trails and say Hi to the Roadies, they look away in shame that we have even one thing in common.
9. It took me a long time to figure out what a fred even was. Turns out it's me!
There. Top that if you dare.
maddmaxx
03-08-07, 09:56 AM
Repeat this
Bikes are fun.........Bikes are fun.............Bikes are fun
Get that up to a cadence of between 80 and a hundred.
I wouldn't be ashamed of you.....unless you had a cheap sterio.....or a toy camera......or a weak computer........or an econocar smaller than my SUV...........or a small house.........
I do however have a favorite bike jersey. It has a great big smiley face front and back
Terrierman
03-08-07, 10:01 AM
Oh I ride a lot. And enjoy the hell out of it. Kind of enjoy being the antithesis of the correct image...
stapfam
03-08-07, 10:06 AM
Repeat this
Bikes are fun.........Bikes are fun.............Bikes are fun
Get that up to a cadence of between 80 and a hundred.
I wouldn't be ashamed of you.....unless you had a cheap sterio.....or a toy camera......or a weak computer........or an econocar smaller than my SUV...........or a small house.........
I do however have a favorite bike jersey. It has a great big smiley face front and back
Barring the toy camera(I have just got a new Sony DSC N2 to replace my old bulky DSC F505)
I match everyone of those. I even have an old Ipod Shuffle for cadence, as the new ones have too many functions. And my favourite jersey is at least 12 years old.
I am not a fred.
maddmaxx
03-08-07, 10:12 AM
Oh I ride a lot. And enjoy the hell out of it. Kind of enjoy being the antithesis of the correct image...
+1 The devel's advocate is my hero.
BluesDawg
03-08-07, 10:23 AM
You win!
Tom Bombadil
03-08-07, 10:26 AM
Consider the following:
1. The only jersey I've ever owned was for a slow pitch softball team. And it was really a tee shirt with some cheesey silk screening.
** I have never owned a jersey **
2. My very first post on this forum was to talk about underwear. I've still never owned a real pair of bike shorts. Someday I might, but then again, I might not.
** I started a thread here on used biking shorts. And I also do not own any. **
3. I thought chamois was a kind of goat. I'm still pretty sure it is.
** Until 6 months ago, I thought it was only used for drying cars **
4. I wear white tube socks. All the time.
** I only wear them on weekends, but every weekend **
5. When it's warm out I wear baggy shorts with comfortable underwear when I ride my bike. Top? T shirt. When it's cold, baggy wind pants and a baggy wind shirt, with various layers under them. I don't even know what leg warmers or arm warmers look like.
** I usually wear bluejeans, even when it is hot. When it is cold, I wear Wally World $4 sweat shirts and pants, the ones with the elastic waist bands. I recently bought some baggie shorts as a concession to be more stylish!!! **
6. The middle name on my driver's license is --- you guessed it, FRED
** Can't compete there **
7. I only have one bike. And it's a NAVIGATOR. With a rack on the back.
** My two primary bikes are a big cushy seat recumbent with a BASKET on the back, and a Trek hybrid with a rack on the back **
8. When I ride the trails and say Hi to the Roadies, they look away in shame that we have even one thing in common.
** 95% of my riding is on rail trails. There are no Roadies to even offend on them **
9. It took me a long time to figure out what a fred even was. Turns out it's me!
** Ditto **
There. Top that if you dare.
** I think I'm right there in the running with you! **
Digital Gee
03-08-07, 10:29 AM
A true Fred doesn't compete to be the be the best Fred, because he doesn't care that he IS a Fred. That's the nature of Fredosity.
chipcom
03-08-07, 10:31 AM
There. Top that if you dare.
OK, you're the biggest Fred here. Next? :D
stonecrd
03-08-07, 10:56 AM
A true Fred doesn't compete to be the be the best Fred, because he doesn't care that he IS a Fred. That's the nature of Fredosity.
Exactly to be a Fred you cannot not even know what a Fred is. If you believe you are a Fred and try to be more Fredly you are only a Fred poser. :D
Terrierman
03-08-07, 11:16 AM
Exactly to be a Fred you cannot not even know what a Fred is. If you believe you are a Fred and try to be more Fredly you are only a Fred poser. :D
I'm not so sure about that. What about a guy like me or Tom B. that only lately has figured out what he is and hasn't changed a bit to try to be more the way he is. Neither of us are trying to be more fredly, we are what we are. Does that somehow change what he is? And who would want to try to be like me anyway? Is this another one of those self awareness problems that pop up from time to time that will likely defy solution?
Terrierman
03-08-07, 11:20 AM
A true Fred doesn't compete to be the be the best Fred, because he doesn't care that he IS a Fred. That's the nature of Fredosity.
It's not the BEST fred, it's the BIGGEST. And it's against the rules to do anything on purpose to be a fred, but if someone can beat me or Tom with the way they really are, then, that person is the Biggest fred. I just don't think that's likely, the bar is pretty high. But time will tell, time will tell.
PaulH
03-08-07, 11:25 AM
1. The only jersey I've ever owned was for a slow pitch softball team. And it was really a tee shirt with some cheesey silk screening.2.
My only jersey was a prep school soccer jersey. It was heavy, with long sleeves, and it was 46 years ago. The next year, I made the T-shirt-wearing cross country team, and never again wore anything called a jersey.
My very first post on this forum was to talk about underwear. I've still never owned a real pair of bike shorts. Someday I might, but then again, I might not.
The whole idea of wearing anything special to ride a bike is really alien to me. It's like being told that a lot of people are putting on their car suits before driving down to the corner for a six pack.
3. I thought chamois was a kind of goat. I'm still pretty sure it is.
You are correct. The leather is used when drying cars, and I use one. Actually, the chamois cloth that you buy for this purpose no longer comes from goats, but is still called a chamois because of tradition.
4. I wear white tube socks. All the time.
White tube socks would not go with any of my office clothing. I mostly wear grey or navy blue. Actually, I'm not sure what a "tube sock" is. Do you mean the white wool socks that we used to wear with loafers 45 years ago?
5. When it's warm out I wear baggy shorts with comfortable underwear when I ride my bike. Top? T shirt. When it's cold, baggy wind pants and a baggy wind shirt, with various layers under them. I don't even know what leg warmers or arm warmers look like.
Unless I am at the beach, I always wear either a suit and tie or slacks, sport jacket, and tie while riding. When it's hot, I take off the jacket, roll it, and either carry it on the bike or leave it at the office. When it's cold, I wear a Gortex hooded overcoat and rain pants, ski gloves, and Totes over everything. "Cold" means below freezing, "hot" means above 70 F. I can't imagine a serious cyclist using arm or leg warmers -- whatever they are -- they would get hypothermia. You have to cover everything when it is really cold.
6. The middle name on my driver's license is --- you guessed it, FRED
My grandmother was named Fred, short from Frederika, and came from West Virginia. In any situation, a West Virginia connection gives you points.
7. I only have one bike. And it's a NAVIGATOR. With a rack on the back.
I've got two bikes. One is a Specialized Crossroads with add-on fenders that aren't as good as the ones that come already installed on bikes. It's my spare, and I ride it only a few hours a year. I did commute on it for a few years, and it was like using a violin to drive nails. Plus, the riding position is hunched way too far forward and it lacks any protection for one's pants.
The main bike is a Kettler Silverstar, with drum brakes front and rear, a front dynohub, rack, bell, fenders, partial chain cover, rack, step-through frame, and set of Nokian winter tires and Schwalbe Marathon Plus summer tires. That one gets ridden 11 miles every day, except for weekends and vacations. During the summer, I use it, with a Trail-A-Bike, to take my daughter to day camp.
The Navigator is a great bike, but lacks Fred essentials like a chainguard, electrical system, and proper brakes. It probably lacks even a kickstand. How can a Fred bike not have a kickstand?
8. When I ride the trails and say Hi to the Roadies, they look away in shame that we have even one thing in common.
Haven't seen any roadies since October, so my recollection of their response is hard to remember. Maybe they just ride on weekends. If there were any to see me now, they would probably think I'm a Dutch banker.
9. It took me a long time to figure out what a fred even was. Turns out it's me!
I agree, but I still out-Fred you. :)
Paul
stonecrd
03-08-07, 11:45 AM
I'm not so sure about that. What about a guy like me or Tom B. that only lately has figured out what he is and hasn't changed a bit to try to be more the way he is. Neither of us are trying to be more fredly, we are what we are. Does that somehow change what he is? And who would want to try to be like me anyway? Is this another one of those self awareness problems that pop up from time to time that will likely defy solution?
Just quoting Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_(bicycling)
Is a Fred just a poseur?
A Fred is generally too naive to be considered a poseur. A Fred is largely unaware of his or her status as an object of ridicule, and likely unaware of the Fred moniker. While it is common for cyclists to claim varying degrees of "Fredness", such self-derision indicates a higher degree of cycling cultural-awareness and would indicate that the commenter is, in fact, unlikely to be a Fred.
Terrierman
03-08-07, 11:52 AM
Crap. There goes my chance to be the biggest fred. Can't have nuthin.
Tom Bombadil
03-08-07, 12:01 PM
Paul,
You had a pretty strong resume, down to this point:
When it's cold, I wear a GORTEX hooded overcoat
Fred's don't wear Gortex!
My grandmother was named Fred, short from Frederika, and came from West Virginia. In any situation, a West Virginia connection gives you points.
If a West Virginia connection gives you points, then I get a boatload of them. Not only was I born, raised, and educated in WV, but my ancestors moved to what was then Virginia but is now West Virginia in 1780. Before I moved to Wisconsin, my home was only 20 miles from the family ancestral cemetary that was begun in the 1780s. You cannot be more West Virginian than I am. I fully expect to retire back to WV in a few years.
Ever been to Prickett's Fort outside of Fairmont? They have a nice, restored version of the Fort that you can visit. My family helped to build the original one.
jcm
03-08-07, 12:04 PM
Crap. There goes my chance to be the biggest fred. Can't have nuthin.
I don't know... you do have a License to Fred.
SSP
03-08-07, 12:08 PM
The whole idea of wearing anything special to ride a bike is really alien to me.
Does that also apply to running, swimming, hiking, lifting weights, playing basketball, skydiving, snow skiing, etc.? Or, do you do all of those in your suit and tie too? :rolleyes:
If your riding is limited to short distances and slow speeds, then you are correct - no special equipment or clothing is needed.
But, if you ride longer distances, or want to ride faster, or play in the big mountains, then you may find that cycling-specific clothing exists for many good reasons besides fashion. But then, if you wanted to do those things you'd be in danger of losing your Fredly status. :D
DnvrFox
03-08-07, 12:13 PM
Just quoting Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_(bicycling)
Is a Fred just a poseur?
A Fred is generally too naive to be considered a poseur. A Fred is largely unaware of his or her status as an object of ridicule, and likely unaware of the Fred moniker. While it is common for cyclists to claim varying degrees of "Fredness", such self-derision indicates a higher degree of cycling cultural-awareness and would indicate that the commenter is, in fact, unlikely to be a Fred.
Which, of course brings up a new Acronym, FP (Fred Poseur). Someone needs to enter that into Wikipedia!
SSP
03-08-07, 12:50 PM
Which, of course brings up a new Acronym, FP (Fred Poseur). Someone needs to enter that into Wikipedia!
For these forums, I think it should be OCF.
BluesDawg
03-08-07, 12:52 PM
So now it has degenerated to the point of "Freddier than thou" talk. Oh boy!
PaulH
03-08-07, 01:44 PM
Does that also apply to running, swimming, hiking, lifting weights, playing basketball, skydiving, snow skiing, etc.? Or, do you do all of those in your suit and tie too?
But these are all sports. To me, cycling isn't a sport -- it's transportation. It's a way to get around that is faster than walking and more convenient than driving. Is express bus riding a sport, too?
If your riding is limited to short distances and slow speeds, then you are correct - no special equipment or clothing is needed.
My five mile trip to work takes about 35-40 minutes. That's about as fast as driving and finding a parking spot. It's vastly faster than either Metro or walking. If I went as fast as I possibly could, maybe I could do it in 25 minutes or so, but I'd have to spend 20 minutes taking a shower. So 35 minutes to work, in rush hour, is like the speed of light -- no mode is faster. Besides my bike is designed to be ridden in normal clothing, and full team kit would be as inappropriate as skiing in a suit and tie.
But, if you ride longer distances, or want to ride faster, or play in the big mountains, then you may find that cycling-specific clothing exists for many good reasons besides fashion.
For longer distances, I have my airplane and car. I like to use skis for playing in the big mountains. I have been thinking about trying mountain biking next time I am at a resort that offers it, so this may be a live possibility.
But then, if you wanted to do those things you'd be in danger of losing your Fredly status.
Not sure. If I were to wear cycling gear only to improve comfort or performance, I think I would still be Fredly. I think Fredness has something to do with sticking to the essentials of the mission (even if the mission is simply to have fun), rather than playing a role, whether shopping, commuting, or something else. This leads us on to a slippery slope -- imagine someone who wears only the gear he is paid to wear or works best for him, is totally dedicated to the mission, and cares only about performance, not image. That leads to Lance being a Fred :)
Paul
Tom Bombadil
03-08-07, 01:46 PM
I am less Freddie than I was 6 months ago. And hope to be even less in another 6 months. Heck, I have a bent that has a retail list of over $1600 - definitely not a Fred bike.
wayne pattee
03-08-07, 01:59 PM
OK, I feel better now, some of you guys wanna come and ride with me?
Tom Bombadil
03-08-07, 02:02 PM
I think it is just about time we started to organize the first annual Tour de Fred.
scottogo
03-08-07, 02:07 PM
West Coast Chain FRED MEYER
SSP
03-08-07, 02:12 PM
Does that also apply to running, swimming, hiking, lifting weights, playing basketball, skydiving, snow skiing, etc.? Or, do you do all of those in your suit and tie too?
But these are all sports. To me, cycling isn't a sport -- it's transportation. It's a way to get around that is faster than walking and more convenient than driving. Is express bus riding a sport, too?
On that, we (and I would assume many BF members) will have to disagree. Many of us see cycling as a sport and/or athletic endeavor. Of course, many of us also use it as a form of transportation too...but, clearly it's not limited to just that.
If your riding is limited to short distances and slow speeds, then you are correct - no special equipment or clothing is needed.
My five mile trip to work takes about 35-40 minutes.
Sounds like your riding is, in fact, limited to short distances and slow speeds.
But then, if you wanted to do those things you'd be in danger of losing your Fredly status.
Not sure. If I were to wear cycling gear only to improve comfort or performance, I think I would still be Fredly. I think Fredness has something to do with sticking to the essentials of the mission (even if the mission is simply to have fun), rather than playing a role, whether shopping, commuting, or something else.
It depends on the definition of "Fred". The page on the subject in Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_%28bicycling%29) provides several conflicting definitions. It sounds like it's used in the UK as a synonym for "clueless" and in the US as a synonym for "poseur", but I don't really agree with that.
Most of my cycling friends use it to describe someone who is clueless about cycling culture, and/or clueless about riding (e.g., "How did that Fred manage to get grease stains on both his legs?", or "Watch out for the Fred on the Giant...he can't hold a straight line.").
Tom Bombadil
03-08-07, 02:13 PM
(e.g., "How did that Fred manage to get grease stains on both his legs?", or "Watch out for the Fred on the Giant...he can't hold a straight line.").
They're talking about us.
Tom Bombadil
03-08-07, 02:18 PM
A blockbuster movie concept is forming in my mind ...
"Revenge of the Freds"
A story about how 4 Freds came together to win a major pro tour event ... through the use of an all powerful Fredoton manuever.
Digital Gee
03-08-07, 02:21 PM
Is there a site for single Freds who want to meet single Fredericas?
europa
03-08-07, 03:05 PM
Well, I can't be a Fred, my name's Richard :D
Richard
(not Fred)
Jet Travis
03-08-07, 03:53 PM
What's a Fred?
Tom Bombadil
03-08-07, 03:54 PM
Well, I can't be a Fred, my name's Richard :D
(not Fred)
:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: That was the best part of this thread.
Are we sure we want to SEE any pics??:eek:
Tom Bombadil
03-08-07, 05:24 PM
I can't pee in a straight line not to mention what I get on both legs........is that another Fred identifier?
No! This is NOT a Fred characteristic!
The Weak Link
03-08-07, 05:27 PM
The problem I have with the discussion so far is that no one has taken their riding skills into account.
There is a local "newbie" to the MTB scene. He's athletic and fearless. He wears jean shorts, smokes Camels, and considers Budweiser to be a sports drink. He kicks butt and takes names. He could never ever be considered a Fred, no matter how unorthodox he looks.
With neighborhood cruisers, its hard to tell. Sure, he may be plodding along at 5 MPH, but what if he got really ticked off and smoked you? You never know.
Its mountain biking that separates the sheep from the chamois.
I've worn baggies. I've worn lycra. I recently purchased bib shorts. I have riden in tops ranging from a cotton t shirt to a "I'm a member of the local MTB club" specials. I've purchased M520's and Shimano Spuds. I've even changed the fork on my bike to a "plusher" one. And I bought and installed Fire Tires.
None of this will cover the fact that at MTB I suck out loud. I crash in the parking lot, before even getting to the trails. I can't clear objects higher than 5 inches, on a good day. I've been kicked out of the way by old ladies bird watching, pushing their strollers along the trail. I cry like a baby when I get hurt.
That, my friends, gives me the Fred title [waves to the applauding crowd. "Aw thanks, it was nothing"].
Tom Bombadil
03-08-07, 05:53 PM
I can't clear objects higher than 5 inches, on a good day.
FIVE INCHES!!!
Might as well be 5 feet as far as I'm concerned!
I might try something 2", if I felt brave that day.
When it comes to mountain biking, I have one rule - don't do it.
SSP
03-08-07, 06:14 PM
FIVE INCHES!!!
Might as well be 5 feet as far as I'm concerned!
I might try something 2", if I felt brave that day.
When it comes to mountain biking, I have one rule - don't do it.
That you can bunny hop 2" on a bent is, in itself, pretty amazing. :rolleyes:
europa
03-08-07, 06:15 PM
When it comes to mountain biking, I have one rule - don't do it.
Nothing wrong with mountain biking - it provides more film clips for Funniest Home Videos than anything else :D
Mountain biking - a bit like boat ramps, best enjoyed with a comfy chair, cold beer and lots of time to just watch :D
Richard
Tom Bombadil
03-08-07, 06:37 PM
That you can bunny hop 2" on a bent is, in itself, pretty amazing. :rolleyes:
I was talking about on my hybrid. Or even my Trek 820 mountain bike, which is only used as an in-town commuter. I certainly wouldn't attempt to hop a curb on either.
My bent is an off-road design. It has off-road tires and a heavy duty rear suspension. There are people who ride it off-road. I even ride it "off-road." A rail trail isn't a road.
Terrierman
03-08-07, 07:53 PM
I think I might be having an identity crisis. If a man knows he is a fred, or at least what seems to fit the general definition of "fred" and that makes him no longer a fred, then what is he? Am I doomed to lycra shorts, a jersey collection and a stable of bikes as the only alternative to being some sort of bad acronym with poser which means in plain language fake as the adjective? Surely not gentlemen, there must be middle ground. What say you?
Digital Gee
03-08-07, 07:54 PM
I think I might be having an identity crisis. If a man knows he is a fred, or at least what seems to fit the general definition of "fred" and that makes him no longer a fred, then what is he? Am I doomed to lycra shorts, a jersey collection and a stable of bikes as the only alternative to being some sort of bad acronym with poser which means in plain language fake as the adjective? Surely not gentlemen, there must be middle ground. What say you?
In a word, yes. You are doomed. Sorry...doom happens.
Terrierman
03-08-07, 07:55 PM
I can't pee in a straight line not to mention what I get on both legs........is that another Fred identifier?
Nope. It sure is not. Dribbling in the front of the urinal might be though, but you didn't ask about that one.
roccobike
03-08-07, 08:22 PM
The problem I have with the discussion so far is that no one has taken their riding skills into account.
Its mountain biking that separates the sheep from the chamois.
You got that right! I don't care how "bad" a mountain biker is, I never look down at another one cause they just might dust you off at the next obstacle. It's a rugged sport that I absolutely love. Too bad I'm slower than constipation, but I've improved my skill sets and rarely crash.
As for the original OP's post, I don't think a Fred has to dress down. A fred can have the correct jersey, cycling shorts, gloves and shoes, but when he/she hops on a 1976, dirty, slightly rusty Fuji, Gran Tourer road bike and clips in, yeah that's a Fred.
Tom Bombadil
03-08-07, 08:36 PM
I think I might be having an identity crisis. If a man knows he is a fred, or at least what seems to fit the general definition of "fred" and that makes him no longer a fred, then what is he? Am I doomed to lycra shorts, a jersey collection and a stable of bikes
I certainly fell prey to the stable of bikes malady. I owned one bike from circa 1985 until November, 2006. I came in contact with BF in September, 2006. Now here it is March, 2007, and I own 4 bikes.
However you and I must both resist the lycra and jerseys. Heck, I don't need lycra to ride an upright LWB recumbent on a rail trail.
Hwy 40 Blue
03-08-07, 09:15 PM
I have a kickstand on both my bikes. And use them. I like my handlebars high for comfort. I sometimes throw on a T-shirt instead if a (woo-woo) special bike jersey. I have worn tennis shoes while riding. A flapping jacket two sizes too big. And, I've noticed the friendliness of other cyclists is always in direct proportion to the cool-osity of their attire: The cooler and more bike-specific the head-to-toe attire, the frostier the attitude.