Foo - Girlfriend and riding...

My Girl and I had a huge arguement this morning.

It got to the stage where she said she gets pissed off and upset because I ride to work sometimes... If I didn't I could spend more time with her (an extra 15 minutes)... WTF?

Anway. I rode to work and called her. She was still pissed off. The arguement continued and escalated further. She told me I was insensitive, I told her she needed to repect the fact that I ride bikes - Its part of me. Escalated further, I told her i didn't want her at home when I get there. She said she'd already started packing........

So, my girlfriend might very well be leaving me because she resents that I ride bikes..........

I'm 60% an emotional wreck and can't do any work. I'm 40% relieved that I may not have to put up with that **** any longer... In fact, I'm surprised at how calm I am. We've been talking having kids (I already have two from a previous relationship) and buying a house... It was/is pretty serious and aside from some **** sometimes its a pretty good relationship. Oh, and she's super hot, but I'm trying not to let that sway me.

Sorry to vent on bike furums but I know you guys will understand what I'm going through being fellow riders and all. And no, she doesn't ride, but knew I was a rider when we got together.

Cheers

John

Look on the brightside: you avoided the jinormous clusterfück of her not saying anything about it until after you got married. Also, if you just wanna have a hot woman, the occasional prostitute is MUCH MUCH less expensive no matter how much the hourly rate. I've never even met a prostitute, btw... I'm just sayin'.

--Steve

i would guess theres something else going on shes not telling you...
and rather than disclose it, shes going to demonstrate animosity towards something you love, which resolves nothing.

just a hunch.
good luck.

Sounds like she'd rather have a beer guzzling, cigarette smoking, pick-up driving couch potato than someone with a healthy lifestyle. Ugh, what do women want?

Hmmm. After being in my share of relationships with hot women who seemed to go off on the most absurd things, I can relate. You'd think she'd be happy to be with a man who kept up a healthy lifestyle. Sounds like she's trying to establish dominance if she has a problem with you bike riding of all things. Sheesh. One thing I've learned over the years is to be honest with yourself and your partner about who you are - if the person you're dating has a problem with that, well, tough sh*t. I'd rather be single and happy than miserable and with a hotty any day of the week.

Get out now, it can only get worse...

My Girl and I had a huge arguement this morning.

It got to the stage where she said she gets pissed off and upset because I ride to work sometimes... If I didn't I could spend more time with her (an extra 15 minutes)... WTF?

Anway. I rode to work and called her. She was still pissed off. The arguement continued and escalated further. She told me I was insensitive, I told her she needed to repect the fact that I ride bikes - Its part of me. Escalated further, I told her i didn't want her at home when I get there. She said she'd already started packing........

So, my girlfriend might very well be leaving me because she resents that I ride bikes..........

I'm 60% an emotional wreck and can't do any work. I'm 40% relieved that I may not have to put up with that **** any longer... In fact, I'm surprised at how calm I am. We've been talking having kids (I already have two from a previous relationship) and buying a house... It was/is pretty serious and aside from some **** sometimes its a pretty good relationship. Oh, and she's super hot, but I'm trying not to let that sway me.

Sorry to vent on bike furums but I know you guys will understand what I'm going through being fellow riders and all. And no, she doesn't ride, but knew I was a rider when we got together.

Cheers

John

Sounds like there are other problems in the relationship?

My girlfriend of 3.5yrs was the same for awhile (maybe still is?), but instead of arguing she would just get mad and stop talking to me which is just as frustrating. She's getting the idea that it's not going to change, but I try to do more to support her and her hobbies so that she will do the same for mine.

Sounds like saying you didn't want her there when you got home is the wrong thing to do. Talk it through and see what the REAL problem is, and fix it.

Good luck and keep us updated :/

Haha I actually just had this exact same fight with my girlfriend two days ago. I even got the "you love your bike more then you love me." I only get to see her usually when I come home from college fri, sat, and sunday. I told her I wanted to fit in a ride before I left town to come home. And she replied that if I'm not at her house by the time she gets out of school she's dumping me. Now I know she'd never dump me but she'd probably not talk to me for the rest of the day.

She apologized yesterday and said I could have some extra time if I needed it. I don't know if this is a trick or not but I'm not going to risk it and I'll be there when I was told to :p

Hope everything turns out ok man.


Kyle

Use her (as an accessory) to find your next hot girl and DUMP HER

...In fact, I'm surprised at how calm I am.

No kidding dude...:rolleyes:
You're on your way to bachelorhood. It will only get better from here.
Seems that you have already contributed to the continuation of our species...Move on!

How old are you,if you don't mind?

Aren't you glad you found this out before marriage?

it's not about the bike, it's about control and lack of respect for you and the fact that you dare put something before her.
Loving someone is letting them grow and give them support for the passion they choose.
You are better off, her being so attractive will waer out soon enough specially when you end up losing who you are and what made you happy.

My buddy just lauched his woman Monday. Must be in the air.

i would guess theres something else going on shes not telling you...
and rather than disclose it, shes going to demonstrate animosity towards something you love, which resolves nothing.

just a hunch.
good luck.

+1... when someone argues something trivial (15 min commute by bike? most people drive 30 min to work at least)... then you know there's something else that's causing it.

Sincerly,
Dr. Phil

We're not all batsh-t crazy, I swear!
I agree it sounds like something else is bothering her, and she's using this as an excuse. If you really think she's worth it, try to find out what the real problem is. If not, good ridddance!

You didn't listen to what she said. She didn't mean she resents you riding and being healthy but that she wants some quality time to spend with you. The bike was just there at a time when she felt needy. There are five ways that people feel loved (The Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman) it sounds like her language is Quality Time. It doesn't matter when you give it to her just make sure that your constantly doing it.

Now, go make up with her and move to different apartments. Don't have kids or buy a house until you have been through pre-marital counselling and get married!

^^^^

The worst touchy feely relationship advice EVER. As Lance said, it ain't about the bike. OP needs to move on.

^^^^

The worst touchy feely relationship advice EVER. As Lance said, it ain't about the bike. OP needs to move on.
I said it's aint about the bike!!!!! who's Lance?:p

This should help

http://www.pimpdaddy.com/pimpcards/pimpslap.gif

You gots to keep your pimp hand strong, bro

No one tell my wife about this thread, please

A few things:
- All the places I know that have 15 min car/bike split commute are a faster bike ride than car ride
- Your obviously missing a bigger picture - nobody puts a bike in the middle of a relationship
- Your a moron if you broke up with a girl over biking, you just committed to point 2.
- I can't believe the internet is your perfered choice for relationship help - especially bikeforums.net. If I've learned ANYTHING from these forums, its that none of the people here know squat about relationships, never mind girls.

It's probably because 90% of the unmarried people on this site have only been kissed by the opposit gender when some poor schlock (be it male or female) "lost" spin the bottle.

Years ago, when my wife and I were dating, she used to give me huge rations of sh*t for riding so much. I told her that I rode before she was here, and I'll ride when she was gone. Never been an issue since...

I said it's aint about the bike!!!!! who's Lance?:p


she knows...she is one of them

Dude, 2 kids already and you want more with this woman? Jeeze, thank goodness this came to light before it cost you thousands for a divorce. Stay close to the kids you made, keep your pecker in the holster, and find a babe at a bike club ride. Hotness is about number 26 on a quality scale. Shift into the big ring and leave this relationship behind.

you know all im going to add is that when relationships break up, if you felt they were the "one" you wouldnt feel relieve to see them go.
I think you'll be fine :)

Shift into the big ring and leave this relationship behind.

Corniest bicycle metaphor I've read all month.

My wife loves it when I ride to work because it means I won't spend time away from her that afternoon to go on a ride around the park. Put it to her that way. 15 minutes lost to commuting is better than 1-2 hours when you go on your leisure ride after you get home.

it's not about the bike, it's about control and lack of respect for you and the fact that you dare put something before her.
Loving someone is letting them grow and give them support for the passion they choose.
You are better off, her being so attractive will waer out soon enough specially when you end up losing who you are and what made you happy.


Well said.

And in the end we are all an ugly wrinkly mess. Don't let someone's looks now affect your decision. ;)

If it makes you feel better, the girl that I thought was "the one," who ended up leaving me was pretty hot ended up plumping up after the relationship ended. She showed up two months later for some action and had gained a good 15 lbs. I'm told she continued her weight gain and is now quite the little chubster. Also, her current BF is a futureless loser, so I'm happy about that.

If it makes you feel better, the girl that I thought was "the one," who ended up leaving me was pretty hot ended up plumping up after the relationship ended. She showed up two months later for some action and had gained a good 15 lbs. I'm told she continued her weight gain and is now quite the little chubster. Also, her current BF is a futureless loser, so I'm happy about that.

X, word on the street is her weight gain could make you the baby's daddy. That will teach you to not wear a helmet! Dreaming of a cf bike with Campy drivetrain? Think pampers, Fisher-Price, etc. LOL, just giving you a bad time.

Yeah, me and 10 other guys.

+I always wear a helmet.

I don't think you riding had anything to do with it. It was just an "easy" excuse, and covered something else.


My Girl and I had a huge arguement this morning.

It got to the stage where she said she gets pissed off and upset because I ride to work sometimes... If I didn't I could spend more time with her (an extra 15 minutes)... WTF?

Anway. I rode to work and called her. She was still pissed off. The arguement continued and escalated further. She told me I was insensitive, I told her she needed to repect the fact that I ride bikes - Its part of me. Escalated further, I told her i didn't want her at home when I get there. She said she'd already started packing........

So, my girlfriend might very well be leaving me because she resents that I ride bikes..........

I'm 60% an emotional wreck and can't do any work. I'm 40% relieved that I may not have to put up with that **** any longer... In fact, I'm surprised at how calm I am. We've been talking having kids (I already have two from a previous relationship) and buying a house... It was/is pretty serious and aside from some **** sometimes its a pretty good relationship. Oh, and she's super hot, but I'm trying not to let that sway me.

Sorry to vent on bike furums but I know you guys will understand what I'm going through being fellow riders and all. And no, she doesn't ride, but knew I was a rider when we got together.

Cheers

John

ask her if she wants a fat slobby boyfriend, or a nice fit boyfriend? The good body doesn't come without a price.

Hmm, at first I'd say dump her. However, I can't remember a single time reading these forums that the BF community recomended fixing a problem with a girlfriend rather than dumping her b**** a**. That being said, if you aren't sad to see her go, it probably wasn't much, and the issue isn't about bikes, it was her vent. Even if you do decide to break up with her, try to find out what it was, that can help. From my end my girlfriend occasionally complains about my biking and rock climbing. It's especially bad with the later because here at school I go to bed early Saturday, wake up mid morning Sunday to go through the 8 hour process of prepping, going to the nearest climbing place, getting back, and showering (read: All day). When I get back, I'm tired, hungry, and not in the mood for quality time of any sort, and I'm sore. On the other hand, when I offer to gain 15 pounds, lose the muscles in my arms, and get depressed due to the lack of activity, she always agrees that it's a good idea and even goes along sometimes. Don't give up cycling and don't cut huge parts of it out either unless you're riding 6 hours a day 7 days a week.

Wow! Looks like the vote is in... take heed.

A fight is one thing, and can be helpful if it leads to a solution. An irresolvable difference is something else. Which is this?

Next time you see her grab your glutes and 'think' out loud about how much your riding helps that aspect of your body.

Honestly you should try to work things out and if you can't, you have an entire summer to work, ride, and Cat up.

... when relationships break up, if you felt they were the "one" you wouldnt feel relieve to see them go.

+2 :)

Shhheeeiiite you guys are great :) Sometimes it warms my heart ot be a rider. Thanks :) :) :)

A lot of great points made.

Dunno what will happen, whether I'll get rid of her or stick by her moodiness... I'll post after the weekend when I'm back at work...

In answer to a previous question - I'm 34.

"Girlfreind and riding"...
Hmmm....
How about riding your girlfreind :D

Dunno what will happen, whether I'll get rid of her or stick by her moodiness...
You need to get at the heart of the moodiness. You cycling is only one symptom of her unease. It's an excuse for her to express, perhaps, her insecurities about your relationship. Dig a little, and you may learn a lot. But be prepared for what you may learn....

Also, you live with her, and this dislike of your ridin' didn't show up before you started livin' together? If not, why not? Surely she knew before living with you that you ride to and from work?

Good question for her. Good answer for you to have....

Good luck with it. I hope it works out in the best way possible. :) ((hugs))

[Nice avatar, BTW ;)]

i would guess theres something else going on shes not telling you...
and rather than disclose it, shes going to demonstrate animosity towards something you love, which resolves nothing.

just a hunch.
good luck.

i would have to agree with heathermarie. The only advice that I can possibly give is that maybe the two of you should have a talk. if one keeps stuff bottled up for a period of time when it finally comes out...it's not going to be pretty for some feelings might get hurt. Also, when having this talk...try to keep your cool. if one person gets angry and flustered then the talk where you would want to resolve problems might do the complete opposite.

I wish you the best of luck.

This is a very simple situation....sell the bike....Oh? Is that not an option? If it is NOT an option then loose the girl...

:)

This is a very simple situation....sell the bike....Oh? Is that not an option? If it is NOT an option then loose the girl...

:)
+1

How about riding your girlfreind :D

Haha, took the words right off my fingertips! Why dontcha try riding her for 15 minutes in the AM before work and see how it goes? It's not like it could get any worse, right? :p

...I'm 34.

Dude...:rolleyes:
You're just warmin' up.
There is no reason you shouldn't be dating
(or whatever ya' wanna call it) various 25 year olds.

Tend to your children and live life to it's fullest.

My Girl and I had a huge arguement this morning.

It got to the stage where she said she gets pissed off and upset because I ride to work sometimes... If I didn't I could spend more time with her (an extra 15 minutes)... WTF?


My wife admits that she is a little bit jealous of the time and energy I spend on my bike. She refers to it my "mistress." She like the fact that I have a hobby I enjoy, it helps me stay fit and healthy, and I've met lots of new friends who ride. But she is jealous nonetheless, because she sees a level of commitment to the bike and to biking that she does not always see give to her. Just keep in mind your situation may be pretty similar to mine.

seems in my mind that it all comes down to how much you really care/love her and
there can always be compromises made and adjustments to others agenda's.

Been married for 34 yrs and I have been riding 28 yrs and yes my wife still gets pizzed on the amount of time I spend riding, and spending money on my bikes as well as working-out at the gym.
The only way I can really explain to her, {wife** is I don't smoke,drink or screw around everything is paid for we never do without and these are healthy out-lets for me and you need to understand I am not giving either up.

I have surfed for years,run marathons, and done countless of tri's through the years, I enjoy being active.
I believe women get jeaolous do to the fact that they don't come first in everything and there are other things of interest besides them on a daily basis, in other words in their mind they come last.

Relationships are never easy and many times things people love to do as an outlet can become quite complusive. Somewhere there needs to be a happy meeting of the minds and don't know in your case if there is a resolution, like I said my wife still gets mad but after 34 years of marriage it's like Ok so your mad big deal. going for a ride see ya later.

he he, brings back memories of my ex.

Sounds like classic manipulative, controlling behaviour. Is this a one-off example or typical?

Anyone who doesn't hesitate to pull the trump card in a relationship (divorce/leaving) should be DUMPED asap. It is indicative of a psychologically unhealthy person who either has no idea how to manage a relationship, secretly wishes it to fail, or feels powerless in themselves.

Maybe she's salvageable - best to check with a counsellor, either alone or together. It's tough to know whether you are an ass to her, as we only have your one post and one example to go by. I give you the benefit of the doubt and assume your picture is fairly painted.

Hotness messes your head up, whether you want it to or not.

If this example is typical of the relationship, you have yourself a budding succubus.



Shift into the big ring and leave this relationship behind.
Corniest bicycle metaphor I've read all month.
A very good one though. :beer:

If my woman ever got in the way of me and my life's passion I would DTMFA

As others have said, it's a launchable offense. Sometimes your S.O just needs to learn you're not a spineless wimp. Once that's out of the way life gets great. If you find the right woman it's just never going to be an issue. My wife has never once frowned upon my hobbies, in spite of the fact my hobbies have changed over the years. She doesn't begrudge me the time I need to be by myself doing something I love. In return, I am 100% hers when I'm with her - not distracted by the TV or the computer. We're sitting together talking and just BEING with each other. It's pretty amazing when you get the relationship right.

you know all im going to add is that when relationships break up, if you felt they were the "one" you wouldnt feel relieve to see them go.
I think you'll be fine :)

+3