Jokes & Humor - Really bad

An outdoorsy couple lived near Anchorage. One morning, the wife said she was going kayaking in the bay. The husband told her to be careful. When she didn't return that night, he called the authorities, who searched the bay. They next day, two state troopers appeared at his door. "We have some bad news for you, some good news, and some great news." "What's the bad news?" asked the husband, steeling himself. "Your wife drowned in the bay." "What's the good news?" he asked. "When we pulled her up, there were a dozen king crabs and 8 Dungeness crabs clinging to her." "What's the great news?" "We're pulling her up again tomorrow!"

:d :d :d



what...no smiley faces????

No, no, no! They were Cajuns from down in the bayou and they were blue crabs.

:)

A man who just died is delivered to the mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The mortician asked the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed.

He points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank check and says, "I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing."

The woman returns the next day for the wake.

To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, "Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?"

To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check. "There's no charge," he says.

"No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!" she says.

"Honestly, ma'am," the mortician says, "it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit.

I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice."

"So I just switched the heads"

That is sick! But I like it!! :)