Advocacy & Safety - My Sister-in-Law is a JAM!

What do you do when a JAM hits close to home? (All puns intended.) My wife and I are already on eggshells around my sister-in-law because of her "fiancee," and now this...

I was riding home yesterday, on a road that has never posed a problem in the 100's of times I have travelled on it.

Car comes up to a red light and cuts me off because she wanted to "get around" a left turning vehicle, only to be boxed in between moving cars and parked cars because other cars were going staight once the light turned green, also boxing me in behind her. (I saw all this coming and never put myself in any danger, so don't let my description imply anything more dramatic than it really was.)

Turns out the inattentive driver (and on her cell phone, if I may throw that in) was my sister in law who lives next door to us (long story, don't assume any co-dependency or anything).

I was pretty upset by it since she is well aware of bikers as she knows I bike constantly and has engaged in several conversations with me about biking and cars, and she STILL acts like a JAM, despite telling everyone how informed she is because her brother-in-law (me) is a regular cyclist.

If it were anyone else, I would have blown her off, but being it was her, I was pretty worked up about it and embarrassed for her.

To make matters worse, I have seen her drive three times, only a few blocks each time, and EVERY time she has done something really dumb in front of me, which doesn't make things any better.

Let the air out of all her tires. She should not be driving.

Maybe try and have a very civil and 'understanding' discussion (actually informal chat) with her to really try and weed out why see engages in this behavior. Use it as an opportunity to get to the 'root' of it. But if you start out accusatory or telling how you think she should drive you may end up with walls preventing a better understanding.

Al

My wife, who has been listening to me complain about motorists for years and knows all the problems pulled a JAM maneuver a couple of weeks ago. Not wanting to get stuck behind a cyclistst, she guns it hard between two very close stop signs, does a rolling stop through the 2nd and turns right with the cyclist barely behind us on the right. I looked at her completely dumbfounded and explained how she almost right hooked the guy. She proceded to give me the same bs explanation I've heard from cars 1000 times. I told her...now you have clue what's out there.

women and machinery don't mix.

women and machinery don't mix.

Neither do men and machinery but they seem to fake it better. Often the smaller the penis, the more adept they are a faking it and the more likely they are to make misogynistic statements.

SonataInFSharp, try cranking Toccata and Fugue in D Minor (http://www.cyberorganist.com/audio/bach-toccata-and-fugue-in-d-minor-%28frederik-magle%29.mp3) into her open windows this summer and see if the haunting sounds convince her to change her jammish ways!

She has shown that she isn't going to change her driving skills, so why bother to destroy an already tense relationship? Some people are horrible drivers. Nagging them won't change it. I am related to several lousy drivers including two with DUIs. Trust me, no amount of talking can make someone a better driver if they either don't care, or are lacking in basic skills that they have no desire to improve.

Neither do men and machinery but they seem to fake it better. Often the smaller the penis, the more adept they are a faking it and the more likely they are to make misogynistic statements.

It's not a misogynistic statement, it's the truth.

My wife, who has been listening to me complain about motorists for years and knows all the problems pulled a JAM maneuver a couple of weeks ago. Not wanting to get stuck behind a cyclistst, she guns it hard between two very close stop signs, does a rolling stop through the 2nd and turns right with the cyclist barely behind us on the right. I looked at her completely dumbfounded and explained how she almost right hooked the guy. She proceded to give me the same bs explanation I've heard from cars 1000 times. I told her...now you have clue what's out there.
Cars bring out the worst in many people. I can't stand riding with my wife because she tailgates even when the road is open. I've literally asked her to let me drive or allow a bit more following distance several times, but she thinks I drive like an old man and that it's boring riding when I'm driving. Guilty as charged -- I do not believe riding a vehicle should be exciting for passengers.

Old habits die hard, and in the case at hand, I don't think direct confrontation is likely to be productive since the sister in law should know better. What many people don't think about when they're pulling JAM maneuvers is that you can get in quite a bit of trouble if you hurt someone. If she thought about that, she might realize that looking after the safety of others isn't such a waste.

Good luck. I have a feeling you may have to come to terms with a JAM sister in law.

Sorry, I know what OCP and Fred mean.... what is a JAM? Please excuse my ignorance. :)

Jack-Assed-Motorist (JAM)

- get a restraining order...

:-)

- seriously though, it sounds like you've got quite a problem on your hands...

- ah, family... especially in-laws...

Neither do men and machinery but they seem to fake it better. Often the smaller the penis, the more adept they are a faking it and the more likely they are to make misogynistic statements.

I believe you are referring to the study conducted by the University of Texas in the late 80s? They recruited a subset of men who had organs the size of a cocktail weiner and had them interact with various women while they were naked. Flawed study.

I believe you are referring to the study conducted by the University of Texas in the late 80s? They recruited a subset of men who had organs the size of a cocktail weiner and had them interact with various women while they were naked. Flawed study.
So you're say that the dudes with the long dongs are better fakers?

So you're say that the dudes with the long dongs are better fakers?
I thought he was saying everyone from texas has a cocktail size....certainly seems to be the case in DC.

Neither do men and machinery but they seem to fake it better. Often the smaller the penis, the more adept they are a faking it and the more likely they are to make misogynistic statements.

srsly. take that **** elsewhere.

What is this thread about?

Why don't you take her out for a few bike rides? Maybe she'll start looking at the road differently.

Nobody fakes better than women.

And it's always the in-laws that are the problem, ain't it?

Now, on the subject of bad driving...my BF can scare me pretty good with how close he drives to the center line and how he will stare at you while talking like they do in the movies (naturally drifting into on-coming traffic in the process). I can't stand that!

Maybe try and have a very civil and 'understanding' discussion (actually informal chat) with her to really try and weed out why see engages in this behavior. Use it as an opportunity to get to the 'root' of it. But if you start out accusatory or telling how you think she should drive you may end up with walls preventing a better understanding.Yes...maybe if you started it out with something along the lines of, "Hey, I got cut off in traffic the other day by someone who (insert story)." Ideally she'll agree that it sounds just horrible and dangerous, and then when you say "And imagine my surprise to discover it was you driving!" she'll get the picture.

Maybe. :p Worth a try, anyway!

women and machinery don't mix.I beg to differ. What about this one (http://www.imdb.com/gallery/mptv/1059/9767-0002.jpg.html?path=gallery&path_key=0073965&seq=7)?

Or, perhaps, Marla Streb...

Yes...maybe if you started it out with something along the lines of, "Hey, I got cut off in traffic the other day by someone who (insert story)." Ideally she'll agree that it sounds just horrible and dangerous, and then when you say "And imagine my surprise to discover it was you driving!" she'll get the picture.

Maybe. :p Worth a try, anyway!

This is what I would do, and in the precense of as many relatives as possible, maybe at some sort of family gathering. I'd make her as embarrased as possible.

This is what I would do, and in the company of as many relatives as possible, maybe at some sort of family gathering. I'd make her as embarrased as possible.

Sort of a group deprogramming, eh.

I'd still let the air out of her tires.

Extended family gatherings are character building: They force you to spend time with folks you wouldn't otherwise give the time of day!

This is what I would do, and in the precense of as many relatives as possible, maybe at some sort of family gathering. I'd make her as embarrased as possible.

good idea... may i suggest dressing up as a woman with a wig that looks like her hair... make a cardboard car out of a cardboard box that looks like her car, that you'll "wear" with suspenders, and go around the party running into everyone, cutting in front of people queuing for the food, etc.

Make engine noises with your mouth, and/or have a toy cellphone and yak into it as well