I hereby declare VC to be so broad as to encompass all and any forms of two-wheeled human-powered locomotion (and on occasion, one, three, four and no-wheeled forms as well), with exceptions that I hereby claim the sole right to define and, should the situation warrant, redefine, eliminate or contradict. I now lay first, primary and only claim to the right to arbitrarily move goalposts, lower or raise bars, change metrics, establish or eliminate standards, excommunicate or beatify devotees. The current claims in no way limit any further seizure of powers on my part, nor do they imply that I am in any way obligated to actually use these or any other future powers consistently or at all.
I further reserve the right to transfer any, all, part or some of these powers on an ad hoc, temporary or permanent basis to anyone else int he known cycling or non-cycling world at any time I deem fit.
Sorry, Helmet Head, I saw which way the wind was blowing (http://bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=306029) and I called it first. No backsies and no penny tax, sucker. VC is mine, and I am now officially the pope of VC.
My first pronouncment: VC is heretofore expanded to include dangerous, non-legal practices provided they are being used to chase down ice cream trucks. Try the chocolate dipped chocolate when you catch up. It's dreamy.
natelutkjohn
06-05-07, 02:14 PM
HEAR HEAR! Long live the pope!
chipcom
06-05-07, 02:15 PM
I'd like to be the first to invite you to throw out the first pitch at the annual BF baseball tourney, your Holiness.
Laika
06-05-07, 02:17 PM
I'd like to be the first to invite you to throw out the first pitch at the annual BF baseball tourney, your Holiness.
Just make sure the honorarium is cold, frosty and six in number. I'll bring my own funny hat, thanks.
zeytoun
06-05-07, 02:20 PM
excommunicate or beatify devotees.
I would like to suggest that the pathway to beatification require demonstration of 3 beericles (beer + miracles) and that sins against the holy spirits require an automatic council to convene to consider excommunication.
Laika
06-05-07, 02:24 PM
I would like to suggest that the pathway to beatification require demonstration of 3 beericles (beer + miracles) and that sins against the holy spirits require an automatic council to convene to consider excommunication.
So ordered, faithful one.
chipcom
06-05-07, 02:30 PM
Can we now have our VC masses in English instead of HeadSpeak? Stronger wine would be nice too...maybe a replace the incense with a little herb?
Laika
06-05-07, 02:33 PM
Don't count on much in the way of showmanship, as I intent my papacy to be largely hands-off, but services, when appropriate, will be conducted in Latin.
(pig Latin, or course.)
chipcom
06-05-07, 02:51 PM
No pidgin bra?
rando
06-05-07, 02:57 PM
instead of communion wafers, can we use Nilla wafers instead? or oreos. that would hit the spot after all that herb.
chipcom
06-05-07, 03:07 PM
Rando, my son, one cannot become close to the God of VC on nilla wafers, wine and herb alone...serious theologians prefer TWINKIES!!!!
rando
06-05-07, 03:10 PM
ah, twinkies-- the holiest of snack cakes....
I-Like-To-Bike
06-05-07, 03:13 PM
VC is mine, and I am now officially the pope of VC.
My first pronouncment: VC is heretofore expanded to include dangerous, non-legal practices provided they are being used to chase down ice cream trucks. Try the chocolate dipped chocolate when you catch up. It's dreamy.
How 'bout a second pronouncement, appointing Chipcom as Sergeant at Arms for dealing with VC lowlifes who question your authority?
And a third pronouncement appointing yours truly as the Duke of Decorum, to decide if any of the previous VC PooBahs have changed their spots and started spouting something worth taking seriously.
TRaffic Jammer
06-05-07, 03:15 PM
ooooh I'm likin' this..... I've never witness a church change hands before.
Shouldn't that be Chipcom for Sergeant of Harm?
chipcom
06-05-07, 03:16 PM
OIC - I get to be a lowly ole Sarge while you get to be a Duke. I can live with that, as long as there are plenty of twinkies.
KrisPistofferson
06-05-07, 03:19 PM
I want to be known as Our Lady of Perpetually Forgetting You're Clipped-In from now on.
noisebeam
06-05-07, 03:19 PM
Shouldn't this go in FOO?
There are folks here who find cycling vehicularly, rules of road, defensive driving, etc. to be very effective and all this nonsense and personal attack does nothing pro or con in regard to discussing various ways of riding in (or out) of traffic.
Al
I-Like-To-Bike
06-05-07, 03:21 PM
Rando, my son, one cannot become close to the God of VC on nilla wafers, wine and herb alone...serious theologians prefer TWINKIES!!!!
Don't forget the Nectar of the VC Gods! Only blasphemers consider wine a suitable drink for Real Cyclists
I-Like-To-Bike
06-05-07, 03:25 PM
Shouldn't this go in FOO?
There are folks here who find cycling vehicularly, rules of road, defensive driving, etc. to be very effective and all this nonsense and personal attack does nothing pro or con in regard to discussing various ways of riding in (or out) of traffic.
Al
Only after every nutty VC theory and brand new definition posted by you know who and associated gabfest discussion by you know which counters of dancing angels!
I-Like-To-Bike
06-05-07, 03:26 PM
ooooh I'm likin' this..... I've never witness a church change hands before.
Shouldn't that be Chipcom for Sergeant of Harm?
That's a call for the Pope of VC.
I-Like-To-Bike
06-05-07, 03:29 PM
OIC - I get to be a lowly ole Sarge while you get to be a Duke. I can live with that, as long as there are plenty of twinkies.
OK I'm generous, I'll recommend that HH and JF be appointed the Dynamic Duo, or better, the Dukes of Hazard.
Laika
06-05-07, 03:35 PM
Shouldn't this go in FOO?
There are folks here who find cycling vehicularly, rules of road, defensive driving, etc. to be very effective and all this nonsense and personal attack does nothing pro or con in regard to discussing various ways of riding in (or out) of traffic.
Al
Second pronouncement:
Lighten up, Francis.
zeytoun
06-05-07, 04:03 PM
Shouldn't this go in FOO?
There are folks here who find cycling vehicularly, rules of road, defensive driving, etc. to be very effective and all this nonsense and personal attack does nothing pro or con in regard to discussing various ways of riding in (or out) of traffic.
Al
Your holiness, I found a sinner!
rando
06-05-07, 04:16 PM
Quick, stone him! I mean, get him stoned!
chipcom
06-05-07, 04:17 PM
I want to be known as Our Lady of Perpetually Forgetting You're Clipped-In from now on.
Had an Arte Johnson moment, did ya, Kris?
sbhikes
06-05-07, 06:06 PM
So, is hitching your bike to a very strong dog VC? He might be better at chasing ice cream trucks than I. Plus he's got that alpha dawg thing down.
Laika
06-05-07, 06:08 PM
Definitely. Two dogs would be better.
I-Like-To-Bike
06-05-07, 06:21 PM
Definitely. Two dogs would be better.
How about riding a dog?
Laika
06-05-07, 06:28 PM
You have to ask?
I-Like-To-Bike
06-05-07, 06:32 PM
You have to ask?
I became used to constantly shifting standards under the old regime of VC dogma. Now I see; this IS the 21st Century VC!
sbhikes
06-05-07, 07:45 PM
Careful you don't get priapism on that thing.
KrisPistofferson
06-05-07, 08:15 PM
Had an Arte Johnson moment, did ya, Kris?I forgot I just switched out the platforms for the Eggbeaters, and almost hit a lady then rode into the grocery store through the (thankfully) automatic door before I figured it all out. :eek: It was very harrowing.
buzzman
06-05-07, 09:16 PM
saw the smoke pouring out of the VatiCan and came a runnin'!
What are you guys smoking in here?
So now the VC forum is truly incensed.
Holy Water Bottle a new Pope of VC!
Say hallelujah!:D
I may convert.:p
Laika
06-05-07, 09:22 PM
That's a call for the Pope of VC.
Well, you uns could wait for me to assign titles and distribute responsibilities, or you could follow my example and seize the gaudiest baubles for yourselves. As pope, i cannot condone the practice, and yet i find myself irreistably charmed by the prospect of VC turning into an ill-manned pirate ship of overlapping titles and duties, beset by nonsensical squabbling and gaily festooned with the skulls of our enemies. it would be like the previous Church of VC, just, you know, fun.
Have at it, all ye excited dukes, sgts and ladies. I HEREBY BLESS ALL ASSUMPTIVE SEIZURES OF TITLES!! GO KIDS GO!!!
randya
06-05-07, 10:38 PM
I am the Earl of NOL!
Bekologist
06-05-07, 11:59 PM
I appoint myself Cardinal Caveman! Blessed be the accomodating shoulder of the highway, the bike lane on the high speed arterial, for all that roll VC shall see the righteousness bike infrastructure hath wrought.
chipcom
06-06-07, 06:05 AM
Well, you uns could wait for me to assign titles and distribute responsibilities, or you could follow my example and seize the gaudiest baubles for yourselves. As pope, i cannot condone the practice, and yet i find myself irreistably charmed by the prospect of VC turning into an ill-manned pirate ship of overlapping titles and duties, beset by nonsensical squabbling and gaily festooned with the skulls of our enemies. it would be like the previous Church of VC, just, you know, fun.
Have at it, all ye excited dukes, sgts and ladies. I HEREBY BLESS ALL ASSUMPTIVE SEIZURES OF TITLES!! GO KIDS GO!!!