Foo - What things do you look for in a date?

Alrighty, c'mon, besides the physical stuff.... ;)

I've been focusing on dating again here lately and have gone out a few times. Because of it I got into a discussion with some female friends of mine and we were talking about what you look for on the date that makes you want to go out with them again. I have two things I kind of look for. One is kind of a classic. When I open the car door for her and she gets in, while I'm walking around to my side I look to see if she opens my door from the inside. To me that just shows she has the two "c's" - class and consideration.

The other thing isn't as big of a deal and I don't really look for it as much as notice it when it happens, but I like when a girl offers to pay for part of the date. I don't care that she actually pays for it or not - its not at all the money I'm worried about. To me it just really shows consideration.

Btw, the girl I went out with last night didn't do any of the above. :rolleyes:

I look for:
A blond
About 5'7"
Slender but not thin
Bright and funny
And, of course, my ring on her finger
Otherwise she'd kill me!

Attitude. I like a girl who puts up a bit of a fight (debating, having an opinion, the ability to argue without becoming emotional, and some sarcasm is fun too). Most people put their best foot forward which I find (unless thats really them) to be very fake. All of the other stuff comes next, but if I don't get interested in the persons personality, than there is no date. Girls with no personality are good for other things however.

Obviously everyone would say "attractive" buts thats subjective and hard to describe. Its based on all the factors rolled into one. I havenever dated anyone I didn't find attractive in some way.

the other stuff
1 - Not much. I don't have a physical "type". Over 5'6 (at 6'5 any shorter is a serious pain as well as a logistical nightmare)
2 - hair doesn't matter as most colour it anyways
3 - striking eyes ALWAYS help. Emerald or blue can rock my world. I have been known to stumble my words when I see certain types of eyes.
4 - Athletic helps (and no, being in shape isn't athletic) I tent to go for field hockey, rugby or ex-wrestlers...
5 - Bugs in my teeth put up the other two I would select
6 - how they handle aversion in life. Not a first date thing, but you pick up on how they handle the tough stuff in life. Coddled daddy's girls need not apply.

As a taken man these don't matter much anymore. I found my girl. However my roomate is a single player who has more woman then we can keep track of. His main play, and it does work everytime, stand up before the girls sits at the table, open the door, be polite and listen. That always makes the date end well.

I can't remember....it's been over 30 years since I dated!

A pulse is always a good sign.

A positive outlook.

good color, no blemishes, firm, ripe.
http://www.kaleberg.com/food/freshdates.jpg

A positive outlook on having or someday having a pulse. The antipulsites tend to bug me.

A sense of humor, intelligence, articulate, kind and considerate.

Non smoker that either doesn't drink or can hold their liquor. A sense of proportion. Rational. Funny. Has no issues with peeing out doors. No food allergies.

When a girl recommends a good beer, especially one that I haven't tried before... Gold star.

Wine, or some other beverage is a good thing too, but for some reason when a woman shows good taste in beer (and not just willing to drink the stuff) it strikes me as appealing. Not sure why.

When a girl recommends good food, especially food that I haven't tried before... Gold star.
I guess the way to a man's heart really IS through his stomach! :D

Non smoker that either doesn't drink or can hold their liquor. A sense of proportion. Rational. Funny. Has no issues with peeing out doors. No food allergies.
whaaa????

I usually get further with blind chicks. Don't know why.

The other thing isn't as big of a deal and I don't really look for it as much as notice it when it happens, but I like when a girl offers to pay for part of the date. I don't care that she actually pays for it or not - its not at all the money I'm worried about. To me it just really shows consideration.


That is one factor which made me decide I wanted to marry my girlfriend at the time. We've been married 21 years.

Here's what I look for in a date:

hot looks, blonde, svelte figure, nice tits
(if there's no primal/sexual attraction/spark, forget it)
knows how to dress, do make-up and perfumes without overdoing it and looking like she's trying too hard
good attitude, fun-loving and no drama-queens
knows how to hang off my arm when we enter a room
must enjoy good food and DRINKS
should be able to get pissed drunk and not turn into obnoxious b|tch
non-smoker, 420, E, crack, coke, heroin, opium users OK
engaging conversation, able to talk about & debate unlimited number of topics
independent, have job, her own place, no kids, doesn't need me to be sugar-daddy
be considerate, have nice manners, etiquette and proper upbringing
shares in efforts, such as doing dishes if I cook, takes me out, etc.
enjoys variety of entertainment, theatre, movies, dancing, symphony, sky-diving, etc.
great in bed with no hang-ups or inhibitions, must have endurance to go at it 4-5x a day
leaves in the middle of night


Of course this list is a minimalist one that's good for dates. In a GF, I'll have an even more extensive and stringent list of requirements... :) And for a wife? HAH! Good luck!!! :p

leaves in the middle of night


:roflmao:

1. Female.

2. All of the above.

Your choice.

if she grabs my ass, that is a good thing.

turn offs:
tattoos, piercings, kids, financial mess, lazy, fat, weird color hair, too much make up.

1. Says "thank you" if you buy her dinner, take her somewhere, etc...
2. Like OP said, opens my door from inside if I walk around to open door for her
3. Has to be able to hold intelligent conversation (e.g. not talk about NASCAR and American Idol all night)
4. Must be into doing "outdoorsy" things or at least interested/willing to try
5. Talks about people in her life other than family and/or not mention her mother too awfully much
6. Have a "career" or at least a goal of having a career
7. No kids....didn't use to care about this one, but I'm over wanting kids in any way

Its important that she can get along OK with my harem of blow-up dolls.

I've done a lot of dating, and while I have the same laundry list most people probably do of traits I need to see to get into a relationship with someone, here are some really basic First Date expectations. He:


* Makes eye contact.
* Is able to handle dialogue (e.g., he talks about something, maybe I comment on what he's said, he talks a little more, maybe asks about my opinion or experiences on the topic, then maybe there's a natural segue to another topic...it's not rocket science) and the occasional silent moment
* Is able to at least feign interest in things about me, even if they're not subjects he knows much about
* Laughs at some of the same things I do, and he says things that make me laugh (this is not the same as saying, "I have a really good sense of humor. My friends think I'm hilarious.")
* Is polite (at a minimum) to the server or bartender
* Leaves me feeling like we have a lot more to talk about and thinking about how the date will end
(Okay, this last one is not something the other person can DO, but it's a natural fall-out of a successful first date!)

Some first-date killers are when he:


* Expresses bigoted, ignorant attitudes
* Monologues, hopping from topic to topic with utter disregard for the increasingly glazed look in my eyes
* Overshares (Oh, your mom is schizophrenic and you wonder about yourself, too? GREAT! That SO makes me want to get to know you better!)
* Eyes my chest incessantly (I'm no Dolly Parton, there's no need to keep checking to see if it's still there--or at least have the class to glance down when I am not watching you, ya goofball)
* Criticizes me or tells me what I should do (seriously, on the first date! If that's the kind of crap you pull on the first date, where would it go from there?)
* Makes fun of the server, the restaurant I chose, the food I chose, or anything about me ("Your car has leather seats? You lose points for that")
* Is embarrassed to be doing internet dating and wants to come up with a cover story for how we met
* Talks about his rotten luck and how everyone's out to get him, or they're all so stupid (his ex is evil, his boss is condescending, he would have gone to college but his parents wouldn't help pay and that's why he's driving a truck for a living even though he could have done anything he wanted to, that policeman was an idiot)
* Is a felon (see the previous entry--it was his ex's fault, and the judge was too stupid to see through her lies--uh-huh, I am sure that's all true)

hotness

* Is a felon (see the previous entry--it was his ex's fault, and the judge was too stupid to see through her lies--uh-huh, I am sure that's all true)
I won't ask you out on a date then, I was a bad boy when I was younger :D
(am actually in the process of getting it expunged, should go through because it was so long ago, no repeat offenses since then, and was a victimless crime - drug possession).

That might have just fallen into the category of "Overshares", oops, two strikes!

http://www.thebirdwells.net/Photo%20Gallery/200611%20November/lazy-k-slides/IMG_4789-foot-in-mouth.jpg

I won't ask you out on a date then, I was a bad boy when I was younger :D
(am actually in the process of getting it expunged, should go through because it was so long ago, no repeat offenses since then, and was a victimless crime - drug possession).

That might have just fallen into the category of "Overshares", oops, two strikes!
Huh, well see, there I went making ignorant comments, myself. Drug possession can get you a felony on your record? Dayum, I didn't realize that.

In this character's case, it was a combination of the felony, the everyone's-out-to-get-me attitude, and the staring at my chest thing.

So you're gonna vote in the next election? :D

-She wants to understand me. She doesn't understand me, but she wants to.

-She knows my phone number, but doesn't try to prove it to me every 15 minutes by calling me for no reason.

-She likes to laugh and smile, but understands downtime. No fake emotions.

-She isn't perfect, but isn't extremely body conscious either.

-She likes comic books, fantasy, and science fiction/adventure. This is very important. :D

-She fixes herself up to look "fresh and clean", but stops before she looks like a dirty Vegas *****.

-She has boundaries that make me feel comfortable when she's out getting drunk with friends.

-She has an open mind about the way things "should" be.

-She likes to bike/swim/play soccer.

-She thinks a good date involves a sunny day at the park and no money spent.

-She's into me, I don't have to work hard to love her.


Damn, I think the girl I'm currently dating has all of these qualities! :eek: I pretty much just described her to make the list...I'd better keep her around as long as I can! :beer:

So you're gonna vote in the next election? :D

Most certainly! :) Actually in Michigan, felons are allowed to vote anyhow, after they've completed their sentence (in my case probation).

^^ Now I've gone and learned another something new. ^^

You're all informative and stuff. Now I wish I hadn't ign'ntly alienated you. What if I recant my former position on felons being first-date ruiners? :p

No flirting in ravenmore's thread!;)

(1) Female

(2) No felony convictions

(3) Agrees to go on date

Aw. I am a sucker for recanters http://boards.gwn.com/forums/images/smilies/spinny.gif

Back when I was still on the market, important criteria included being within five years of my age, have a graduate degree, gainfully employed in a professional career and make at least $ 50 K per year. Internet dating was perfect for being able to sort along these criteria. If people did not meet this minimal screening, then we never got to the dating stage.

(2) No felony convictions



You're missing out.

(1) Female

(2) No felony convictions

(3) Agrees to go on dateI'm glad to see you learned from my mistake. No, wait, you didn't learn!

Learn, Velo Vol, learn!

"...When I open the car door for her and she gets in, while I'm walking around to my side I look to see if she opens my door from the inside. To me that just shows she has the two "c's" - class and consideration..."


http://a5.vox.com/6a00b8ea074da41bc000bf76c9908593b5-pi

Originally Posted by pedalada
Non smoker that either doesn't drink or can hold their liquor. A sense of proportion. Rational. Funny. Has no issues with peeing out doors. No food allergies.


whaaa????

Well here is a "sense of proportion" question: Is it more important to make it to the airport on time or to make sure all the dishes are washed first? My ex-wife could never figure that one out.

Female Willing

:roflmao:

On a more serious note...

Reasonably attractive. NOT perfect, and NOT... altered... for purely cosmetic purposes. (Burn damage and stuff is one thing.) CAN THINK Compatible interests If she's a smoker, be respectful of me NOT being a smoker

That list is partial.

Okay, I probably was weird but I approached it scientifically. (and it must of worked, still married 26+ years later)

I looked at it this way - I wanted someone who would make me stronger and have qualities I lacked. Truth, I wasn't wanting to date as much as find someone and I did.

My wife is very different than I am - but we make a very strong team. Still very much in love too. I wasn't so much after what I wanted as much as after what I needed.

1. She backs you up when out with others

or

2. If she disagrees with you she at least waits until you are alone.

or

3. If you are really putting your foot in your mouth she saves your *** without destroying your ego.

No flirting in ravenmore's thread!;)

not unless its with me. :)

http://a5.vox.com/6a00b8ea074da41bc000bf76c9908593b5-pi

Hey - did I actually quote that movie or something? I haven't seen it (looks like it might be good though).

-She likes comic books, fantasy, and science fiction/adventure. This is very important. :DSo she isn't scared off when you put on your robe and wizard hat? ;)

Serendipper: You do realize that all of the women on MUDs are really men, right? :p

So she isn't scared off when you put on your robe and wizard hat? ;)


That's called foreplay my young padwan.

Child-bearing hips.

http://a5.vox.com/6a00b8ea074da41bc000bf76c9908593b5-pi



...I think I already had my three good ones..........and yes, it was an awesome movie

Well you guys might as well write a phone book then lock yourself into a closet with all the "criteria" i've seen in this thread.

* Eyes my chest incessantly (I'm no Dolly Parton, there's no need to keep checking to see if it's still there--or at least have the class to glance down when I am not watching you, ya goofball)



Ahhh, yes. Have we met? In my opinion there is good reason to give certain men the benefit of the doubt when it comes to this particular item. I was and perhaps still am sometimes somewhat shy around attractive women, and I used to have a habit of not maintaining consistent eye contact with an attractive woman when she was speaking to me. Now, if you're not looking directly into a woman's eyes or lips when they are talking, - where else is there to look? It will be akward to be looking above, or to the left or right of them.. so of course the man with tendencies of shyness or intraverted nature is going to be looking downward (probably w/o even realising it). Whenever I used to do this, my plain of focus was literally about a foot infront of my face - it was NOT on her cleavage or curves which were just some blurry inconspicuous orbs to me, -as I was consentrating on what she said through my auditory senses - not my visual sense. Okay, pls I hope this clears up some confusion for any other guys who may be lucky enough to encounter a woman who has read this post. Thanku and have a nice day. :)

http://a5.vox.com/6a00b8ea074da41bc000bf76c9908593b5-pi
I recognized that situation from that movie, also! I guess it's a universal truth.

Ahhh, yes. Have we met? See, there's ways, and then there are ways. I've been out at a bar and met guys who kept checking me out, and that can be flattering. (I mean, when we're dressed that way--if there's an intentional display--then chances are we're hoping to get looked at, y'know?)

And what you're describing I wouldn't be bothered by, either. Someone being nervous and looking all around, or focused not on their date's face, is different than someone who's blatantly trying to look down a girl's shirt.

Althought TBH I am kind of forward myself, and if someone's a little nervous on the first date then it's possible that I might not notice their more stellar qualities right away... :)

Dating pretty much sucks, in general.