View Full Version : The needs of an older child?
AndrewHall
06-20-07, 06:28 PM
Love to go almost car-free, but am running into the realities of an active and diversely-interested 8 yr old.
To whit, Drama Kids is closer than my daily training ride but too far for him to ride and he is really too big for a trailer or seat. Guitar lessons are on the bus route, but that would mean getting home more than 1/2 hour later which wrecks any idea of a family dinner - a value more important to us.
Any ideas for handling the realities of a child old enough to have need strewn across the county, but not old enough to handle the travel requirements w/o a car?
A.
To whit, Drama Kids is closer than my daily training ride but too far for him to ride and he is really too big for a trailer or seat. A tandem or one of those trail-along or whatchacallum attachments might be ideal for your situation.
Guitar lessons are on the bus route, but that would mean getting home more than 1/2 hour later which wrecks any idea of a family dinner - a value more important to us. A dinner can't be moved by 30 minutes?.. Sounds strange to me. But then my eating and sleeping patterns are very random, so perhaps I'm just a different kind of creature.
Any ideas for handling the realities of a child old enough to have need strewn across the county, but not old enough to handle the travel requirements w/o a car? One thing to do is to try to find activities closer to home. It's such a huge waste of time driving kids all over the damn place all the time. How much time does junior waste in a car every week?
Trail-A-Bike (http://www.trail-a-bike.com/interface/adams.php)
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In a couple years the kid should be able to travel independently to these activities on the bus or by bike. Preferably with one or more peers or siblings. I think I started traveling by city bus to downtown Detroit when I was about 12. We rode our bikes a couple miles when we were 8 or 9.
Sometimes it bothers me that kids today are involved in so many activities outside their own communities. Scouting, YMCA, after-school and church activities might be good local choices. Parks and Recreation probably has a hundred kid programs that many parents aren't even aware of. Or get together with friends and neighbors to devise activities for all the kids.
I know it's good for kids to develop broad interests. Things like Drama Kids or classes at the museum are great for this. But I think it's OK to limit them to a level that fits in better with the family's other plans.
wahoonc
06-20-07, 08:06 PM
I like the concept of the Trail a bike, we never had one of those, but as a family we weren't really car free or particularly car light at the time.
And I agree with Roody on the choices for kids working with family schedules. That was one thing we did do with our two. We limited the amount of things they could be involved in and it had to be with in a very reasonable distance of the house. I have seen too many people stressed out and kids burned out by trying to do too much and having to dash from one side of town to another. Kids need to be kids. We didn't have too many responsibilities growing up, we were allowed to pretty do what we wanted with in reason;) and it seems to have worked out. IIRC we limited ours to 2 activities a week, they picked one and we picked one. My daughter was a soccer fiend and my son was a swimmer. We didn't put them on the traveling teams until they were older and showed they were dedicated enough to stick with it.
Aaron:)
Sometimes it bothers me that kids today are involved in so many activities outside their own communities. Scouting, YMCA, after-school and church activities might be good local choices. Parks and Recreation probably has a hundred kid programs that many parents aren't even aware of. Or get together with friends and neighbors to devise activities for all the kids.
I know it's good for kids to develop broad interests. Things like Drama Kids or classes at the museum are great for this. But I think it's OK to limit them to a level that fits in better with the family's other plans.
This is why so many parents in the US have a problem with going carfree. There are so many after-hours activities and they are scattered across a large area. That and the fact that schools are not exactly "neighbourhood" schools anymore. When I first arrived in the US, I was amazed and saddened that my kids could no longer walk to school.
This is why so many parents in the US have a problem with going carfree. There are so many after-hours activities and they are scattered across a large area. That and the fact that schools are not exactly "neighbourhood" schools anymore. When I first arrived in the US, I was amazed and saddened that my kids could no longer walk to school.
Don't get me started on this topic!
I feel more strongly about neighborhood schools than I do about most other carfree issues. It boils down to this: Americans are too damn cheap and shortsighted to pay for good education in their own communities. They go for false economies of scale. They'd rather spend hours driving kids all over the county than spend a few more bucks on property taxes. Just like they'd drive 20 miles to save 20 cents at Walmart.
Grrrr....you got me started. :mad:
Don't get me started on this topic!
I feel more strongly about neighborhood schools than I do about most other carfree issues. It boils down to this: Americans are too damn cheap and shortsighted to pay for good education in their own communities. They go for false economies of scale. They'd rather spend hours driving kids all over the county than spend a few more bucks on property taxes. Just like they'd drive 20 miles to save 20 cents at Walmart.
Grrrr....you got me started. :mad:
Yes, you really see the anguish expressed by parents on this forum. They always ask "How could I go carfree with a kid?" but what they really mean is that they live 5 miles from school. Their kids will never learn to walk or bike. Their kids will be driving cars at 15. The parents will be in hock to their necks paying off cars... all just for this one little demographic issue.
Really sad.
rockmom
06-21-07, 09:54 PM
Hi there. I have a seven year old and no car. We are very neighborhood focused. Dance is my daughter's main interest. Initially, we started her in weekend classes because it gave us more flexibility in getting her there, plus we go to the farmer's market while she dances. The class is 4 miles from our home. This fall both kids (7 and 4) will have Wednesday dance classes. The kids are also involved in church programs, but that mainly falls on Sunday (2 miles). Friday mornings, dd has a class that rotates locations. Mostly I can get her to the Friday class by bus or bike or walk (most locations are under 3 miles). She gets a ride with another family on Fridays that are less accessable.
Other classes/camps/activities are also usually either near work or near home to make transporting her there easier. As our son gets more involved in activities, life will likely get more hectic. But we are very neighborhood focused so it generally stays managable. We do have a few short term activites that are more far flung. But the regularly scheduled events stay close to home.
We also have a trail-a-bike so that she can go longer distances on bike. She has some killer stamina for walking already though. I'm a meany who makes preschoolers take 2+ mile hikes.
makeinu
06-22-07, 12:28 AM
what ever happened to playing stick ball on the corner?
fuerein
06-22-07, 05:17 AM
what ever happened to playing stick ball on the corner?
The "helicopter parent" who hovers over their children and refuses to let them out of their sight for more than a minute at a time and is terrified that the the single guy who rents the house three doors down is actually pedophile/kidnapper/whatever just waiting for a child to separate from the pack so that he can swoop in.
Don't worry Roody, you're not the only one with peeves regarding the current trends.
ellenDSD
06-22-07, 08:58 AM
Hey Andrew :) I started riding with my son when he was 8. Kinda drove him nuts because I was constantly pointing out stuff: things to watch for, traffic laws, watching what drivers do and learning how to anticipate their moves, etc., etc. Now at 11, he can ride to school on his own, to the store, to the skate park, pretty much anywhere within three miles. So start with your son on his own bike. Teach him to drive it like a car and judge his maturity. How is he dealing with it? Is he able to focus enough on what's going on that he can ride safely? Oh and teach him to ride in a straight line and how to look over his shoulder to scan traffic while maintaining his line - very important!
Good luck :)
The Human Car
06-22-07, 10:27 AM
This is what I do (either with or without her bike.)
47896
This is our third year with the Trail-A-Bike. My daughter loves the thing. I think that being able to contribute to family transportation is really appealing.
Paul
It boils down to this: Americans are too damn cheap and shortsighted to pay for good education in their own communities. They go for false economies of scale.
Are big schools actually cheaper, even if you only count money? Schooling is an industry (busing, lunches, teaching materials/technology, construction, etc., even photography!), with corporate interests that drive for big schools.
what ever happened to playing stick ball on the corner?
Too much traffic.
Hey Andrew :) I started riding with my son when he was 8. Kinda drove him nuts because I was constantly pointing out stuff: things to watch for, traffic laws, watching what drivers do and learning how to anticipate their moves, etc., etc. Now at 11, he can ride to school on his own, to the store, to the skate park, pretty much anywhere within three miles. So start with your son on his own bike. Teach him to drive it like a car and judge his maturity. How is he dealing with it? Is he able to focus enough on what's going on that he can ride safely? Oh and teach him to ride in a straight line and how to look over his shoulder to scan traffic while maintaining his line - very important!
Good luck :)That's so cool ellen! :)
I just saw a young father on his bike. A little one was in a trailer. A slightly bigger one -- maybe 7 or 8 years old -- was riding his own bike in the street with dad. The father was telling him where to ride in the road, stop for stop signs, etc. I think in a couple more years the kid will be safe to ride the streets to the neighborhood school. That's IF the school is still open, as Lansing is in the process of shutting down elementary schools to "save money."
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