Hello me...meet the real me.
And my misfits way of life.
A dark black past is my
Most valued possession.
Hindsight is always 20-20,
But looking back its still a bit fuzzy.
Speak of mutually assured destruction?
Nice story...tell it to readers digest!!!
Feeling paranoid
True enemy or false friend?
Anxietys attacking me, and
My air is getting thin.
Im in trouble for the things
I havent got to yet.
Im chomping at the bit, and my
Palms are getting wet, sweating bullets.
Hello me...its me again.
You can subdue, but never tame me.
It gives me a migraine headache
Thinking down to your level.
Yea, just keep on thinking its my fault
And stay an inch or two outta kicking distance.
Mankind has got to know
His limitations.
Feeling claustrophobic,
Like the walls are closing in.
Blood stains on my hands and
I dont know where Ive been.
Im in trouble for the things
I havent got to yet.
Im sharpening the axe and my
Palms are getting wet, sweating bullets.
Well, me...its nice talking to myself,
A credit to dementia.
Some day you too will know my pain,
And smile its blacktooth grin.
If the war inside my head
Wont take a day off Ill be dead.
My icy fingers claw your back,
Here I come again.
Feeling paranoid
True enemy or false friend?
Anxietys attacking me
And my air is getting thin
Feeling claustrophobic,
Like the walls are closing in.
Blood stains on my hands and
I dont know where Ive been
Once you committed me
Now youve acquitted me
Claiming validity
For your stupidity
Im chomping at the bit
Im sharpening the axe
Here I come again, whoa!
Sweating bullets
Brillig
07-06-07, 07:10 PM
Just about every song on They Might Be Giants, Flood. (But in a good way).
Brillig
07-06-07, 07:23 PM
ELO - Don't Bring Me Down
You got me runnin goin out of my mind,
You got me thinkin that Im wastin my time.
Dont bring me down,no no no no no,
Ill tell you once more before I get off the floor
Dont bring me down.
You wanna stay out with your fancy friends.
Im tellin you its go to be the end,
Dont bring me down,no no no no no no no no,
Ill tell you once more before I get off the floor
Dont bring me down.
Dont bring me down,grroosss
Dont bring me down,grroosss
Dont bring me down,grroosss
Dont bring me down.
What happend to the girl I used to known,
You let your mind out somewhere down the road,
Dont bring me down,no no no no no,
Ill tell you once more before I get off the floor
Dont bring me down.
Youre always talkin bout your crazy nights,
One of these days youre gonna get it right.
Dont bring me down,no no no no no,
Ill tell you once more before I get off the floor
Dont bring me down.
Dont bring me down,grroosss
Dont bring me down,grroosss
Dont bring me down,grroosss
Dont bring me down.
Youre lookin good just like a snake in the grass,
One of these days youre gonna break your glass.
Dont bring me down,no no no no no no no no,
Ill tell you once more before I get off the floor
Dont bring me down.
You got me shakin got me runnin away
You get me crawlin up to you everyday,
Dont bring me down,no no no no no,
Ill tell you once more before I get off the floor
Dont bring me down.
(It was even funnier when I though they were saying "Bruce")
atomship47
07-07-07, 07:51 AM
hehehehe. i was just listening to that song on the radio
classic1
07-08-07, 09:15 AM
The entire catalogue of Ian Dury.
Billericay Dickie is a personal favourite lyric-wise
The Beat Farmers - Are You Drinking With Me Jesus?
Mojo Nixon - Debbie Gibson is Pregnant With My Two-Headed Lovechild
Debbie Gibson is pregnant with my two
headed love child
It's a bigfoot baby all covered in fur now
Stark raving naked in the fornication nation
We were secretly married out in Las Vegas
at a little bitty chapel,
Joan Collins married us
rootin tootin, ain't high falutin'
Rick Astley is a pantywaist, match my butt with his face
He's teeny tiny two inches of terror, they're all gonna
scare you
Hairbrained cockamamie knuckleheaded idjit galoot
No truth to the rumor about Spuds and Debbie G--
only went to the motel, just to watch a little TV
Hate that dog, he must die
Saxophone solo
T-T-T-T-T-Tiffany, is wrestling in jello
Body slamming Debbie G, they're covered head
to toe
h*** on, my h*** on
Repeat first verse
I'm stark raving naked in the fornication nation
Stark raving naked in the fornication nation
Stark raving naked in the fornication..........nation.......!!
mirage1
07-08-07, 08:19 PM
Cake, Comfort Eagle:
We are building a religion
We are building it bigger
We are widening the corridors
And adding more lanes
We are building a religion
A limited edition
We are now accepting callers
for the pendant key chains
To resist it is useless
It is useless to resist it
His cigarette is burning
But he never seems to ash
He is grooming his poodle
He is living comfort eagle
You can meet at his location
But you better come with cash
Now his hat is on backwards
He can show you his tatoos
He is in the music business
He is calling you "DUDE!"
Now today is tomorrow
And tomorrow today
And yesterday is weaving in and out
And the fluffy white lines
That the airplane leaves behind
Are drifting right in front
of the waning of the moon
He is handling the money
He's serving the food
He knows about your party
He is calling you "DUDE!"
Now do you believe
In the one big sign
The doublewide shine
On the bootheels of your prime
Doesn't matter if you're skinny
Doesn't matter if you're fat
You can dress up like a sultan
In your onion head hat
We are building a religion
We are making a brand
We're the only ones to turn to
When your castles turn to sand
Take a bite of this apple
Mr. corporate invents
Take a walk through the jungle
Of cardboard shanties and tents
Some people drink Pepsi
Some people drink Coke
The wacky morning DJ
Says democracy's a joke
He says now do you believe
In the one big song
He's now accepting callers
Who would like to sing along
She says, do you believe
In the one true edge
By fastening your safety belts
And stepping towards the ledge
He is handling the money
He is serving the food
He is now accepting callers
He is calling me "DUDE!"
Now do you believe
In the one big sign
The doublewide shine
On the bootheels of your prime
There's no need to ask directions
If you ever lose your mind
We're behind you
We're behind you
And let us please remind you
We can send a car to find you
If you ever lose your way
We are building a religion
We are building it bigger
We are building
A religion
A limited
Edition
We are now accepting callers...
For these beautiful...
Pendant keychains
Brillig
07-08-07, 08:39 PM
Cake, Comfort Eagle:
:beer:
CrimsonKarter21
07-09-07, 10:44 PM
King Missile- Detachable Penis
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.
[background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for
a while, then out]
nick burns
07-10-07, 08:44 AM
Just about anything by the Bloodhound Gang.
FatguyRacer
07-10-07, 09:49 AM
GWAR - Slaughterama
With a battle-cry go forth
Which is "give the people what they want"
And what the people want could only be the senseless slaughter
of the gutter-slime which litters this nation for cash and prizes
Yes, this is the show where people bet their lives to win something big
'Cause when your life is ****, then you haven't got much to lose
On Slaughterama...
This next geek is guilty of the following:
A grateful dead life in which he's been wallowing
Tried to tell us, "Give peace a chance"
Met the National Guard and you **** in your pants
It's not your imagination, it's not a bad tripping
Yes, that's it: it's a big, smelly hippy
Hello Mr. Hippy, nice to meet ya'
Hey, you got a little **** between your toes
So, how are things at the ol' manure factory?
How's little Tofu?
What, she grew another head?
Well, ya gotta lay off that LSD, ya know
Kinda makes your offspring goofy looking
So, how do you hide money from a hippy?
Put it under the soap!
I'm sorry, but that answer wasn't in time
Your gonna have to put your mouth on this
Oh, I blew your head clean off
Good thing I was such an expert shot
With the National Guard back at Kent State
I bagged four that day
There's nothing like hippy hunting
My dad always used to take me along with Lee Harvey Oswald
All right, we're rockin' now!
World's highest hair, world's tightest pants
Got no circulation but you still can dance
Fashion is a statement, sometimes a risk
Every fashion had it's faults but yours is the pits
Always in black, looks like he's dead
Here's the Art Fag lying on his death beg
Hello, Mr. Art Fag, c'mon out here
Say, whatta hair do
Why it's awfully big
As big as the...the...the Hindenburg
And it'd probably go up just as fast if I put this lighter to it
But no, I'm gonna' hold out and ask you this question
What ever happened to Eddie Munster?
I'm lookin' at him!
Oh, Oderus, help the boy with his hairdo, there
Ooo! It's getting ripped off!
Ow! Ya' know that's gotta hurt!
What on the other side of his face?
Is that a facelift?
Whoa! He's torn that face clean off!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Help that sod outta' here
Gave up *****, stopped doing toot
Now ya' can't wait to kiss him on the boot
Elbows and knuckles all you know how
Follow the herd, just another cow
Brain full of ****, boots full of lead
Straight from Hitler's ass, it's the Nazi skin-head
Hello, Mr. Nazi Skin-head, how ya' doin'
How's Geraldo's nose? Still broken?
Well, it's good to see you're still on the job.
You know, when you're mugging talk-show commentators in bathrooms
Always remember to draw the swastikas turning to the right
Not to the left, always to the right.
Hey, why do Nazi skin-heads wear red suspenders anyways?
He doesn't have to tell you!
Time to give this Nazi skin-head one more haircut
Real close to the shoulders like
Whoa! His head's been decapitated
Look at all that P.S.I. in his aorta artery
Whoa! Is he a gusher or what?
A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Well everybody, that's all for this week
We've killed everybody that's worth killing
Hope you do the same
We'll be back next week with another edition of
Slaughterama, Slaughterama, Slaughterama
It's a drama
Slaughterama, Slaughterama, Slaughterama
It's a drama, yeah!
It's called existentialists, man
It's for the people who just don't care
Don't feel sorry for them
They've chosen their own path in life
Gee3
08-10-07, 12:56 PM
Anything in Hip Hop these days... it's all a joke!
scarpi41
08-11-07, 12:17 AM
Well I would agree, that the mainstream hip hop, you know, the ay bay bays, the lean like a cholo, and all that garbage is hilarious. However, not everything in hip hop is like it. The underground stuff, the MC's that are bringing hip hop back to something respectable, they are real hip hop. These "club tracks" are a joke and give rap a bad name, but they are hella catchy, I must admit. Even though deep down I hate it, I know how to do the "Superman that hoe" dance for future parties, Im expected to know it since my "Walk it out" is legendary(because im white ahah).
My favorite lyric from a song, or one of my favorites, that I can get a chuckle from a line from Immortal techniques Industrial Revolution:
so if your message ain't sh!t, fu*k the records you sold
cuz if you go platinum, it's got nothing to do with luck
it just means that a million people are stupid as f*ck
Brillig
08-11-07, 06:38 AM
Disco Infiltrator by LCD Soundsystem
Kestrelman
08-11-07, 06:57 AM
Big Bottom - Spinal Tap
The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'
That's what I said
The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
Or so I have read
My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo
Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about bum cakes, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?
I met her on Monday, twas my lucky bun day
You know what I mean
I love her each weekday, each velvety cheek day
You know what I mean
My love gun's loaded and she's in my sights
Big game is waiting there inside her tights, yeah
Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about mud flaps, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?
Stacey
08-12-07, 07:26 AM
Anything by Public Enema.
Poppaspoke
08-12-07, 08:50 AM
Harry Nilsson Joy To The World
Imagine these lyrics sung in a deep, resonant old-time country
baritone
The other day I met a girl named Joy
She said come here,
I'm gonna make you my joy boy
Well, things went good and things went bad
Now everytime I think of Joy
It makes me sad
It makes me... sad
The other day I met a girl named Joy
She said Roy!
I'm gonna make you my joy boy
Well, she took me for a ride
Sort of a joy ride
Now everytime I think of Joy
I get all weird inside
Oh, Joy, to the world,
Was a beautiful girl
But to me Joy meant only sorrow
Now--if you haven't got an answer
Then you haven't got a question
And if you never had a question
Then you'd never have a problem
But if you never had a problem
Well, everyone would be happy
But if everyone was happy
There'd never be a love song
Joy was a beautiful girl
But to me Joy meant only sorrow
The other day I met a girl named Joy
She said, Come here,
I wanna make you feel all clammy inside
Things went good good and things went bad
Things went good... things went bad
Good, bad, good, bad, good, bad
Joy, to the world,
Was a beautiful girl
But to me Joy meant only sorrow
Oh, Joy, to the world,
Was a beautiful girl
But to me Joy meant only sorrow
Stacey
08-12-07, 09:22 AM
Same artist: I'd rather be dead. (http://youtube.com/watch?v=6u0Ps5qblYI)
atomship47
08-12-07, 08:12 PM
I've always loved you
Love dumpling
Your sh&t's like chocolate cake
Your ass smells like a rose
I really hate you
Love dumpling
Now my bowels ache
love dump
Stir Crazy
08-13-07, 03:27 PM
Well I would agree, that the mainstream hip hop, you know, the ay bay bays, the lean like a cholo, and all that garbage is hilarious. yes.....
However, not everything in hip hop is like it. The underground stuff, the MC's that are bringing hip hop back to something respectable, they are real hip hop. These "club tracks" are a joke and give rap a bad name... and yes......
If I flip on the radio to one of these so-called "hip-hop" stations, I fluctuate between sorrow, rage, and inexplicable laughter. How are these people selling records?!?!
CrimsonKarter21
08-13-07, 09:46 PM
The Charlie Daniels Band- Uneasy Rider
I was takin a trip out to L.A.
Toolin along in my cheverolet
Tokin on a number and diggin on the radio
Just as I crossed the Mississippi line
I heard that highway start to whine
And I knew that left rear tire was about to blow
Well the spare was flat and I got uptight
Cause there wasn't a filling station in sight
So I just limped on down the shoulder on the rim
I went as far as I could and when I stopped the car
It was right in front of this little bar
Kind of a red-neck lookin joint called the Dew Drop Inn
I stuffed my hair up under my hat
And told the bartender that I had a flat
And ywould he be kind enough to give me change for a one
There was one thing I was sure proud to see
There wasn't a soul in the place except for him and me
He just looked disgusted and pointed toward the telephone
I called up the station down the road a ways
He said he wasn't very busy today
And he could have somone out there in just about 10 minutes or so
He said," Now, you just stay right where yer at!"
And I didn't bother to tell the darn fool
That I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to go
I just ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar
When some guy walked in and said, "Who owns this car
With the peace sign, the mag wheels and the four on the floor?"
He looked at me and I damn near died
And I decided that I'd just wait outside
So I laid a dollar on the bar and headed for the door
Just when I thought I'd get outta there with my skin
These 5 big dudes come strollin in
With one old drunk chick and some fella with green teeth
I was almost to the door when the biggest one
Said, "You tip your hat to this lady, son!"
And when I did, all that hair fell out from underneath
Now the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight
In Jackson Mississippi on a Saturday night
Especially when there was three of them and only one of me
They all started laughin and I felt kinda sick
And I knew I better think of something pretty quick
So I just reached out and kicked old green teeth right in the knee
Now he let out a yell that'd curl yer hair
But before he could move I grabbed me a chair
And said "Now watch him Folks cause he's a thoroughly dangerous man!"
"You may not know it but this man is a spy.
He's a undercover agent for the FBI
And he's been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan!"
He was still bent over holdin on to his knee
But everybody else was looking and listening to me
And I laid it on thicker and heavier as I went
I said, "Would you believe this man has gone as far
As tearing Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars.
And he voted for George McGovern for President."
"Well, he's a friend of them long haired, hippy-type, pinko fags!
I betchya he's even got a commie flag
tacked up on the wall inside of his garage."
"He's a snake in the grass, I tell ya guys.
He may look dumb but that's just a disguise,
He's a mastermind in the ways of espionage"
They all started lookin real suspicious at him
And he jumped up and said "Now just wait a minute Jim!
You know he's lying I been living here all of my life!"
"I'm a faithful follower of Brother John Birch
And I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church.
And I aint even got a garage, you can call home and ask my wife!"
Then he started saying somethin bout the way I was dressed
But I didn't wait around to hear the rest
I was too busy moving and hoping I didn't run outta luck
When I hit the ground I was making tracks
And they were just taking my car down off the jacks
So I threw the man a twenty and jumped in and fired that mother up
Mario Andretti wouldda sure been proud
Of the way I was movin when I passed that crowd
Coming out the door and headed toward me at a trot
And I guess I should of gone ahead and run
But somehow I just couldn't resist the fun
Of chasing them all just once around the parking lot
Well they headed for their car, but i hit the gas
And spun around and headed them off at the pass
I was slinging gravel and putting a ton of dust in the air
I had them all out there steppin and fetchin
Like their heads was on fire and their asses was catchin
then I figgered I had better go ahead and split before the cops got there
When I hit the road I was really wheelin
Had gravel flyin and rubber squeelin
And I didn't slow down till I was almost to Arkansas
I think I'm gonna reroute my trip
I wonder if anybody'd think I'd flipped
If I went to L.A., via Omaha
Poppaspoke
08-29-07, 08:33 PM
Just remembered Joan Crawford has Risen From the Grave, by Blue Oyster Cult:
Junkies down in Brooklyn are going crazy
They're laughing just like hungry dogs in the street
Policemen are hiding behind the skirts of little girls
Their eyes have turned the color of frozen meat
No, no no no, no no no no no no no no,
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Catholic schoolgirls have thrown away their mascara
They chain themselves to the axles of big Mack trucks
The sky is filled with hurt and shivering angels
The fat lady lives! Children, start your trucks!
No, no no no, no no no no no no no no,
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
(Christina... Mother's home!
No, no...
Christina...
No, no - no, no...
Come to Mother...
No, no - no, no, no no no no no no
Christina...)
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen[/font]
neilfein
08-30-07, 07:00 AM
They Might Be Giants, "All Alone"
Once upon a time they sent a rocket to the moon
With scientific instruments to test conditions there
But just before they closed the door, one scientist expelled a germ
That accidentally found its way aboard and stowed away
For three years it remained undetected on the moon
It was the only living creature there:
"I'm all alone
I'm all alone
Behold the mystery that is me"
Then one day the scientists recovered all their gear
Excited by the prospect of unearthly things inside
They found, to their astonishment, a living thing within
It seemed to bear good tidings from somewhere in outer space:
"You're not alone
You're not alone
Behold the mystery that is me"
Soon they figured out the heinous error they had made
And now the earthly germ had something else it seemed to say:
"We're all alone
We're all alone
Behold the mystery
Behold the mystery."
Second Mouse
08-31-07, 08:17 AM
Yeah, Harry Nilsson.
You're breakin' my heart
You're tearing it apart so **** you
All I want to do is have a good time now I'm blue
You won't boogaloo,
Run down to Tramps, have a dance or two, ooohhh
You're breakin' my heart,
You're tearing it apart but **** you
You're breakin' my heart
You're tearing it apart, boo-hoo
You stepped on my ass
You're breakin' my glasses too
You won't drive my car, might be a star
I've had enough of you
I'm goin' insane
There's no one to blame so **** you
Tom Waits (http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/tom_waits_lyrics_2575/small_change_lyrics_7256/step_right_up_lyrics_84830.html) is usually good for a laugh, too.
Joe Dog
08-31-07, 09:28 AM
Heartlight by Neil Diamond
Come back again
I want you to stay next time
'Cause sometimes the world ain't kind
When people get lost like you and me
I just made a friend
A friend is someone you need
But now that he had to go away
I still feel the words that he might say
Turn on your heartlight
Let it shine whereever you go
Let it make a happy glow
For all the world to see
Turn on your heartlight
In the middle of a young boy's dream
Don't wake me up too soon
Gonna take a ride across the moon
You and me
He's lookin' for home
'Cause everyone needs a place
And home's the most excellent place of all
And I'll be right here if you should call me
Turn on your heartlight
Let it shine whereever you go
Let it make a happy glow
For all the world to see
Turn on your heartlight
In the middle of a young boy's dream
Don't wake me up too soon
Gonna take a ride across the moon
You and me
Turn on you heartlight now
Turn on you heartlight now
dahoss2002
08-31-07, 10:41 PM
Here's an old one from Jimmy Buffet
Jimmy Buffett - Why Don't We Get Drunk Lyrics
I really do appreciate the fact you're sittin' here
Your voice sounds so wonderful
But your face don't look too clear
So, Barmaid, bring a pitcher, another round of brew
Honey, why don't we get drunk and screw.
Why don't we get drunk and screw
I just bought a waterbed filled up for me and you
They say you are a snuff queen, Honey, I don't think that's true
So, why don't we get drunk and screw.
and another one
A Pirate Looks At Forty Lyrics (Jimmy Buffett)
Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call,
Wanted to sail upon your waters
since I was three feet tall.
You've seen it all, you've seen it all.
Watch the men who rode you,
Switch from sails to steam.
And in your belly you hold the treasure
that few have ever seen, most of them dreams,
Most of them dreams.
Yes, I am a pirate two hundred years too late.
The cannons don't thunder there's nothin' to plunder
I'm an over forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late.
I've done a bit of smugglin'
I've run my share of grass.
I made enough money to buy Miami,
But I pissed it away so fast,
Never meant to last, never meant to last.
I have been drunk now for over two weeks,
I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks,
But I've got to stop wishin',
Got to go fishin', I'm down to rock bottom again.
Just a few friends, just a few friends.
I go for younger women, lived with several awhile
And though I ran away, they'll come back one day.
And still could manage a smile
It just takes awhile, just takes awhile.
Mother, mother ocean, after all these years I've found
My occupational hazard being my occupations
just not around.
I feel like I've drowned,
Gonna head uptown.