Foo - Fraternities?

I got a letter inviting me to learn more about the fraternity, Sigma Chi. I don’t know anything about fraternities, other then what Hollywood has portrayed them to be, which is mainly big drinking parties. I don't drink, so I am definitely not interested if that is what they really are.

I was hoping some of you "brothers" could tell me what its like to be part of a fraternity. They claim it’s a great opportunity to grow as leader and a person. What type of activities do they take part in? What is usually required of members?

Thanks!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dKjI9Dh8Tg

I never got into one.....looked like social clubs to me. Probably a lot of drinking and partying in the background.

Found this (http://web.sigmachi.org/wps/portal/!ut/p/_s.7_0_A/7_0_2KD/.cmd/ad/.ar/sa.fireAptrixPortletAction/.c/6_0_15H/.ce/7_0_2L1/.p/5_0_1UH/.d/0?PC_7_0_2L1_aptrixPortletAction=UpdateAptrixPortletContext&WCM_Context=http://ilwwcm.sigmachi.org/ilwwcm/connect/NewsSite/NewsArea/News_062207_BettyFord) on the Sigma Chi web site. All I know about fraternities I learned from my college friends who were date raped at frat parties, and by the frat house that was across the street from my housing co-op. About once a month, they'd put an old couch on our driveway and set it on fire, and they vandalized our bikes so often, we had to start keeping them in our basement. I can't remember anymore which fraternity it was, but neither the campus greek council nor the frat's national organization would do anything about them. Being the maintenance manager in my house for a year, I did not develop positive feelings about fraternities.

It would probably be advantageous for your future career or something if you joined.

I have never been part of a frat.. What I have seen and heard makes me think of them as stupid, obnoxious and elitist..

^^^ 'Twas my experience, also. That can't possibly be true of all frat types, so I'm hoping to hear some good things about them from somebody. Anybody? Anybody? Buehler?

I joined a fraternity my freshman year and served as president of the organization my junior and senior years. I now regret ever having been a part of such an organization. skinnyone said, "What I have seen and heard makes me think of them as stupid, obnoxious and elitist.." That pretty much sums it up.

fraternities, freemasons... same thing. Clubs for the sake of being part of a club, providing avenues for cheating your way up the ladder of life in future "old boys' clubs". I'm so glad my university didn't indulge in this childish pursuit.

If you want to indulge in herd-think, by all means join. If you want to learn how to think independently, spend your university years being on the sidelines where you can observe and evaluate their ridiculous behaviour objectively.

I pledged a frat the fall of my last year in school. Two of my good friends from high school were in the frat and we hung out a lot, and I knew most of the brothers before hand, and most were good guys. Some were definitely *****holes and some complete dorks who thought they were cool cause they were in a frat and otherwise would be friendless. I would have never thought about joining a frat unless my two friends had joined.

They do drink, but people most people drink college. It basically was a social club; always someone to hang out with, go eat with, help you out if you need a favor, and possible networking later in life. For the most part there was no elitism, parties were common every or everyother weekend, and both girls and guys from outside the frat were invited, like I was before I pledged.

Butttt the pledge process was insanely stupid; we did do a lot of team work and some fun stuff, but most of it was stupid, ********, and complete waste of my time, especially since I was a senior. Maybe some of the stupid stuff was to build solidarity between the pledges, but whatever, we already spend half our free time together. I made it about 3/4's the way through the process and decided the stuff they wanted us to do just wasn't worth it, so I dropped.

Nothing that I have seen of fraternities has ever given a positive impression. If you feel that you are incapable of making friends without paying money, they may be an option for you though.

Fraternities aren't all like what you see on the news and from house to house and campus to campus the personalities change. I knew some really great houses with some really great guys. Yes there was a lot of social drinking going on but I also knew guys who pledged and didn't drink. Look around at your campus at different houses before deciding. My sorority did a lot of partying but we also had to keep our grades up, participate in community projects/charities, they forced me to attend some events that I may not have gone to on my own (eg: Brownbag lunch on the Fall of Russia), can you believe it they wanted me to learn during lunch? It also gave the leadership opportunities. Each house is run with a small government (President, Secretary, Treasurer,...) and each project has chairs and committees so the opportunity to gain leadership skills are there but you have to step forward. Not all houses on my campus were like that though so getting to know the people in the houses will give you a better idea. That being said yes the stories on the news come from somewhere but you don 't sound like the type of person that would be attracted to that type of house.

I have never been part of a frat.. What I have seen and heard makes me think of them as stupid, obnoxious and elitist..

That's what I was worried about!

I may look into Alpha Kappa Psi since its a business fraternity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dKjI9Dh8Tg
Dude, the pledges were wussing out. Just suck it up. Here's how it's done. :D

"Thank you sir, may I have another?"

Animal House (1978) IMDB (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077975/)
Animal House (1978) Yahoo! Movies (http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1808715766/info)

Seriously, though, there were a few frats on campus that were just like the "Delta" house. Most of the frat guys stick together and only socialize with other Greeks. I noticed the same with a lot of the sorority girls - they would only date the frat guys. Although I did have a few friends in one fraternity that was down-to-earth. It all depends on the leadership of the house. The president was a nice guy and so were most of his brothers.

Since you said you are not a drinker, I would stay away from joining a fraternity. You will get hazed harder for not "being one of the guys" and they will make you get drunk at every opportunity. On the other hand, you might want to consider "social drinking." In the business world, (male) social drinkers get higher pay than non-drinkers. The reason is the "social" part. When you go out to a business dinner, etc. with your boss, other executives, clients, etc., they will all be socially drinking and you can "bond" and talk about things other than work. And when it comes time for your annual salary review, your boss will remember the times you were out on business dinners, talking, drinking, and wooing the clients instead of the quiet guy who didn't say much.

Frats as fine, nothing wrong, but there are better ways to spend your college years. They are more important at some colleges and universities then others. I went the frat route, but in retrospect, I would have looked more toward; overseas internships, clubs, fewer closer friends, etc... that said I had very good experiences, just also missed some of opportunities available in college.

It seems that the frat experience depends HEAVILY on the campus in question. At my undergrad campus and the one where my wife works, the frats are home to some of the most disgusting behaviors you can think of.

There are plenty of other ways to be a leader on campus without going Greek. Might not win you the cool points in the moment, but it's worth it.

Until recently one of the frats at UGA held an annual "black face" party.

At Georgia "Greek society" may have had some benefit to the student body in the past, but have long since degraded into drunk houses, and celebrate behavior that should end in prison sentences.

At least at UMaine, the fraternities are primarily rural kids who had no idea how to be social without some sort of structure. Or they are Beta Theta Chi and all metrosexual. Or TKE and all fat geeks (but some pretty cool guys).

Personally I never saw the point in joining a frat and I lived at one for two semesters (cant argue with $275/month for a room).

I was a founding member of a frat on my college campus in 1970. It was so important in my life, I do not even remember the name. A bunch of us dope smokin loose dogs figured if the juice heads could have one, so could we. So we sent letters to some National frats and one allowed us, for a small sum, to open a chapter. I think we had maybe 3 meetings. It all got shut down when the RA wouldn't let us spark em up at the meetings.

Dude, the pledges were wussing out. Just suck it up. Here's how it's done. :D

"Thank you sir, may I have another?"

Animal House (1978) IMDB (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077975/)
Animal House (1978) Yahoo! Movies (http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1808715766/info)

Seriously, though, there were a few frats on campus that were just like the "Delta" house. Most of the frat guys stick together and only socialize with other Greeks. I noticed the same with a lot of the sorority girls - they would only date the frat guys. Although I did have a few friends in one fraternity that was down-to-earth. It all depends on the leadership of the house. The president was a nice guy and so were most of his brothers.

Since you said you are not a drinker, I would stay away from joining a fraternity. You will get hazed harder for not "being one of the guys" and they will make you get drunk at every opportunity. On the other hand, you might want to consider "social drinking." In the business world, (male) social drinkers get higher pay than non-drinkers. The reason is the "social" part. When you go out to a business dinner, etc. with your boss, other executives, clients, etc., they will all be socially drinking and you can "bond" and talk about things other than work. And when it comes time for your annual salary review, your boss will remember the times you were out on business dinners, talking, drinking, and wooing the clients instead of the quiet guy who didn't say much.

Thats a hilarious movie. Belushi was one of the all time greats.

I agree that joining a frat can have some value, for social networking and whatnot. But of course its possible to make it in the world without having joined a frat, as have millions of people.

As far as the drinking thing at business related social events, I don't think its an all or nothing proposition of either drink and socialize, or be silent bob. If somebody doesn't like alcohol (can't stand the taste, or gets drunk too easily, etc.), and the group they are with are just having a couple-few social drinks, one can just order a soda water with Roses lime or some other non-alcoholic drink, and still converse with them. And if anybody questions this, and you don't mind telling white lies to avoid getting cajoled into having one, just say something like "I take Tylenol for joint pain and my doctor said not to drink on it (one really shouldn't drink while taking Tylenol)". Of course this strategy wouldn't work if the point of the event is to get trashed, but then nobody would remember anyway if somebody wasn't drinking , let alone who attended.

If I had it to do all over again, I would have joined Chi Psi:

http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/4904/att2kz1.jpg

I joined a frat. No ridiculous rushing practices or hazing, no one was ostracized for not drinking, no one was date raped and there was the peer pressure to maintain decent grades and not do anything that would get us shut down, put on probation, arrested or make our insurance rates rise.

While we hung out together partying and studying, we also organized the neighborhood food and clothing drives, volunteered at the school across the street to help watch the kids in the after school program, volunteered at the March of Dimes, manned phone banks begging for money during the school's annual beg for money from the alumni event, etc. We were a diverse group culturally, ethnically, religiously and racially, reflecting our school's population.

I won't say that our fraternity was like that nationally, just the chapter I belonged too. Other chapters were nerdier, more liberal, more conservative, more jock oriented, and at least one ran a drug dealing operation from their house that was subsequently closed down and the members arrested and charged.

Obviously, not all frats are alike, so if you're considering rushing, make sure you're not joining a gang of booze fueled *******. Frats like that need to be shut down and all involved put on trial.

Not ALL fraternities are the same. Sure, the bad apples gives 98% of the rest a bad name. Go check out as many of them as you can. See what their purpose and mission is. What kind of projects they've been involved in the past. One of them may end up being in perfect alignment with what you want to do in life.

There are also other non-Greek groups you can join. I belonged to a lot of ethnic groups as well, APASU and the Scandanavian club. We also started the Young Republicans. Nothing more than a drinking and party group. But the name alone had people sending up donations galore!!! :)

I'm currently on the executive board of my co-ed fraternity on my campus. My fraternity isn't social though rather it's a community service based fraternity. When I found this fraternity I knew it was for me because I really enjoy doing community service.

Back to the topic on hand, Greek organizations tend to get a bad reputation due to movies like Animal House and some chapters of social fraternities that do pretty stupid stuff like hazing, "date raping", etc. Things like that are frowned upon by the national office of their organization which can put the chapter at risk of losing their charter or going "inactive".

Greek organizations usually make their "pledges" go through a pledging process where they have to "prove" to the active members that they want to be in the organization. Sometimes they have to do philanthropy (community service), learn the organizations history, learn the Greek alphabet, and maybe even have an interview with the executive board.

I got a letter inviting me to learn more about the fraternity, Sigma Chi. I don’t know anything about fraternities, other then what Hollywood has portrayed them to be, which is mainly big drinking parties. I don't drink, so I am definitely not interested if that is what they really are.

I was hoping some of you "brothers" could tell me what its like to be part of a fraternity. They claim it’s a great opportunity to grow as leader and a person. What type of activities do they take part in? What is usually required of members?

Thanks!

Before any details my conclusion. Talk to those already in the Frat. Are they the kind of guys you want to hang out with? Do you have common interests. Think of it as making a whole bunch of friends. They are the kind of guys you would like to be friends with procede. Otherwise forget it.

OK first my Fraternity background:

Going way back, my father went to a Major University just after WW II. He did not join a Fraternity. While he was there a pledge choked to death on raw liver in a hazing incident. Neeedless to say he did not have a positive image of fraternities. I joined a house when I went off to a small liberal arts college (also a top level school). My father first met some of the members on spring break when the Frat had a trip to the Lake Mojave on the Colorado River. We had a ski boat and were taking it on the trip. We did not meet the group at the river, we met some of them on the road where they had overheated and we stopped to help (not knowing who they were until we stopped). My dad hit it off with them right away. Why? Because they were 'regular guys'.

What frats do vary by school and often even by house. The house I joined would never be involved it "date ****". (Though some of the guys might injure someone who tried). Drinking was a fair part. However in the years after my time a couple of the guys developed a drinking problem and as far as I found out were supported by the brothers when they decided to quit.

Where I went to school a Frat house was often the cheapest way to live. Some places it is they only reasonable economical way to live. But beware, where there are severe housing promlems the chances of fraternity abuses also seem to run high.

Ask around at your school. Ask the Frat guys, ask those who are not in a Frat and also try to find out how the administration feels about Fraternities. Do not rely on rules to figure things out.

I'll finish by relating something that happened every year during rush while I was in school and for years afterwards. Some guy would come to one of the houses and start talking to the Brothers and eventually be told he should check out one of the other houses. Not told he was not good enough, just that he would likely fit in better there. But often at nearly the same time someone who was checking out that house would be told the same thing, just the other way around. This was guys honestly trying to get other guys to the house where they would fit and be happy. It almost always worked out right.

I'm a female in the co-ed service fraternity, Alpha Phi Omega. It's a service fraternity so we do all types of volunteer work. Everyone is so nice and friendly and this fraternity isn't just about partying and getting drunk. We have banquets with parties after but nothing to serious or wild and crazy. I transferred and I found out about this fraternity and i love it. I've met great people and will continue to keep meeting great people. The pledge process had no hazing and the brothers made us all feel welcomed. If you want to join one but don't want to because of all the "party" stereotypes, then Alpha Phi Omega is for you.

Kelmurfee, you're a brother! I'm the service VP of the Sigma Sigma chapter in Chicago. Alpha Phi Omega is an amazing organization. You get to meet amazing people and do amazing things in your community. APO has definitely made my college experience enjoyable.

Rocky Mountain: What school?

I went to college with zero friends from High School. Rushing and joining Alpha Tau Omega gave me 50 people that I could recognize on a fairly large campus....However, that being said, the school I was attending wasn't all that Greek-friendly (ie: too many hippies), and after about a year and a half, I was over it.

There are some schools where the Greek system is heralded, respected, and can really be an advantage for both socialization and post-education networking. Not to mention the life experiences that can be had.

Service fraternities are not real fraternities, so it's a bad example. If you don't buy into the whole greek-is-cool thing, like I don't, then that fact won't bother you. But wholesome service fraternities are no way by which to measure true fraternities, because social frats and service frats are alike only in name and not substance.

I was in a fraternity for 3.5 of the 4 years in college. We did stupid things. But, I made friendships that have lasted 20+ years. We did a lot of fundraising and just all around good things. I learned a lot about leadership by being pledgemaster and house manager. Most critics of frats were never in them. Over half of the guys in my frat ended up with advanced degrees in medicine, law, and academics and almost all were successful. I owe my first job to a frat brother, and another helped me get into PhD school.

My advice is to go take a look at the greek system and decide what feels right to you.

As with all advice YMMV.

Until recently one of the frats at UGA held an annual "black face" party.

At Georgia "Greek society" may have had some benefit to the student body in the past, but have long since degraded into drunk houses, and celebrate behavior that should end in prison sentences.

UGA class of 76...here. My brother was class of 68. You have to go back...waaaaay back past 68 to agree with your assertion, but I have my suspicion that it never was a benefit to the student body.

If I had it to do all over again, I would have joined Chi Psi:

http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/4904/att2kz1.jpg

that's funny, my brother was a Chi Psi at Georgia..I think they have either disbanded or been banned from the campus....so was my fraternity..Sigma Phi Epsilon.

Fraternities are like people, they are all different. To stereotype is wrong. Do your homework and find what you are looking for... Here are some random thoughts on my experience:

1) I served as recruitment chair, executive board member, social committee member, philanthropist, et cetera. Recruitment - quality people, people that fit, people you can work with and have fun with. Executive board - keeping the entity alive. Social committee - having fun. Philanthropist - giving back to the community.

These are all things that were important to the men of my fraternity and as it turns out are equally important to me now as a business professional.

2) Sure I wasn't great friends with all 50+ men in the "house", but isn't that reality? Today I work at a firm with 120 professionals... I love the firm I work for... But do I like everyone at my firm? Not a chance.

3) I never got paddled. I never got hazed. I never mistreated women.

4) At all times of the day and night there are always 10-15 guys who are doing something fun... Whether it's rappelling from the roof, going for a ride, drinking some beers, crashing sorority houses for food... That was the hardest thing for me as a live in member. It was hard to focus on my demanding course work. Ahhh time management...

5) I was not a member of Sigma Chi, but that is a strong national fraternity. You might not consider it as important now, but being a member of that fraternity will provide you with a strong network in your post college years. How'd you like to have something instantly to talk about with someone from Stanford, Yale, Columbia? You will have your school alumni association as a network in addition to your fraternal network.

6) What is required... In this order: rush, bid, accept bid, pledge, pledge process, initiate, member, member dues.

7) Paying for friends? Incorrect. Paying to do cool $hit with your friends. Correct. You don't like how your money is being spent? Run for treasurer. Run for president. Run for social chair.

8) Just like going to university... It is what you make of it.

Good job, badfishgood, well said.

I have lived in university towns most of my 56 years and, based on what I have seen of fraternities, I would not let any son of mine join one. There are a lot better, more productive ways to network with other students.

My opinions are based mainly on my 8+ years of experience in a university setting at two schools in completely different parts of the country (4 years at Missouri State for undergrad and another 4+ years at U of South Florida for my MS and PhD). I also grew up in a college town and have spent a lot of time on campus at other universities around the country... Basically put, in general SOCIAL fraternities are a drain on most university systems. Sure, they might complete hundreds of community service hours but those hours are generally offset by the indecencies those same organizations are responsible for. I liken it to an owner of a large SUV trying to offset the environmental damage s/he is causing by planting a tree in their yard. Again, these are just my naive opinions and they are based on 1) superficial observations I have made and 2) opinions of people who were once part of the organizations and quit once they realized what they were all about. Below is a link to a little ditty that I find particularly amusing. While it might not be 100% accurate, it still makes me laugh and explains why I never joined one. It will piss a lot of you frat-supporters off but oh well, life goes on...

http://www.poochsworld.com/articles/fratboy.html

Below is a link to a little ditty that I find particularly amusing. While it might not be 100% accurate, it still makes me laugh and explains why I never joined one. It will piss a lot of you frat-supporters off but oh well, life goes on...

http://www.poochsworld.com/articles/fratboy.html

Here's my favorite, and most accurate, part: "I live in filth. I enjoy the smell of old-beer-in-carpet. I prefer a dingy frat house to a clean apartment. I think living among rodents builds character. I leave the seat up. I can't clean up after myself."

If I had a son living in any of the frat houses here in Tallahassee, I would yank him out after one visit. I can't understand how any parent can allow a son to live in such squalor.

Why would you need to join a Fraternity? You are in a Footernity and making all the friends you're every going to need later in life.

I never joined but I hung with frat guys in college and went to their parties. It really is a social club.

But one time I met this girl and wanted to ask her out. But she found out I hung with a particular frat and thought I was a playa! Very far from the truth but if you hang with them you, too, get the stigma! Doh!

The frat I hung with were known for throwing the biggest and best parties at the school. But above that, there really wasn't any reason to join unless you were looking to get popular and get wasted out of your mind! But I was able to do that without paying dues!

They are fun but not essential.

It seems that the frat experience depends HEAVILY on the campus in question. At my undergrad campus and the one where my wife works, the frats are home to some of the most disgusting behaviors you can think of.

There are plenty of other ways to be a leader on campus without going Greek. Might not win you the cool points in the moment, but it's worth it.

Assuming you're talking about UMD, I will agree, as I was part of one.

To the OP, if good grades are a priority, I would advise you avoid party fraternities.

Rider Dean Charged With Hazing In Student's Death (http://wcbstv.com/topstories/local_story_215123845.html)

DeVercelly was admitted to a Trenton hospital with alcohol poisoning and died a day later after going into cardiac arrest. Officials said his blood alcohol content was .426, five times the legal limit for driving, when he was admitted. :eek:

Social fraternities are one big beer-fest and sometimes it gets taken too far.