Foo - I swear - I wish it was me instead of her.

She gave me life. I wish I had the power to trade my life for hers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lPZgr7FKBw

Is this your mum SBW?

I ran across this vid when searching for something else. And yes, it brought me back to time of my mother's demise. The date of her death is even on one of the drawings in the vid.

She gave me life. I wish I had the power to trade my life for hers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lPZgr7FKBw

She gave you Angel wings so you could touch others all over the world Siu Chan.
I believe that is what she intended...
I'm extending my arms in your direction for a hug. :)

Thank you, Skebbe, you are always so kind.

There was so much that I wanted to do for her. So much I wanted to give her. She gave me everything she could and I just didn't have time to do the same.

You have honored her memory just by the fact you miss her and have regrets. Every parent should be so lucky. Love always leaves a hole in someone's heart eventually.

Because of her, you are who you are. It is good that you miss her and do her honor by living well.

I ran across this vid when searching for something else. And yes, it brought me back to time of my mother's demise. The date of her death is even on one of the drawings in the vid.

Siu, you honor your mother but if it makes you feel better - there is nothing that a parents dreads more than to outlive their children.

She gave me everything she could and I just didn't have time to do the same.

Yes you have, you have relished her memory and kept her in your heart. That's the best gift anyone can give another.

Your mother gave you the gift of life, not only that, she gave US the gift of YOU. For that I'm grateful to her. If the only thing she did in her life was give birth to you, to me that's a life well lived. I know you miss your mother Siu, but the best way to keep her alive is to remember her. To pay her back, live your life in a way that would make her proud, and that can be your gift to her. :)

Siu, I'm sorry you had such a bad night. I completely understand. I have them, too. And I would give my life if my husband could just exist at all again, even without me. The pain of such loss never really goes away, but we can and do get better at managing it. ((BIG HUGS)), sistuh. :)

That's a beautiful video. I finally got it to load on my, yeah, go ahead and say it, DIALUP.

if it makes you feel better - there is nothing that a parents dreads more than to outlive their children.
My mom says so, too.

Thank you, Skebbe, you are always so kind.

There was so much that I wanted to do for her. So much I wanted to give her. She gave me everything she could and I just didn't have time to do the same.

You're wrong, Siu. You did give her everything. You gave her joy, pride, love, and the knowledge that she brought a helpless infant into the world and raised her to be a strong, loving, insightful, self-sufficient, caring woman. You gave her the priceless knowledge that the world is a better place because her beautiful daughter is in it. No parent could ever hope for a more precious gift from their child. Trust me on that.

As for the "everything" you didn't have time to give her - a parent isn't looking for, and probably doesn't need or want, a payback from their child. Don't worry about whether you paid your Mom back - you did - but rather about paying what she gave you forward. And don't worry too much about that, either: it is abundantly clear that you do that, and then some; it's hardwired into you.

Peace, hugs and tailwinds to you, Siu. You are one of the world's truly good people. Please don't ever forget that. Your Mom certainly didn't.

I can't add anything that hasn't been said already!

Thank you, Skebbe, you are always so kind.

There was so much that I wanted to do for her. So much I wanted to give her. She gave me everything she could and I just didn't have time to do the same.

You did that the day you were born. Trust me on this from a parent's perspective.

((((hugs))))

but then I never would have met you :(

you change people...you have a purpose.
:)

What Tom and RDad and everyone else said. And what a lovely video-wow.

Thank you everyone for your sweet kind words. I'm okay now. I guess that it's me trying to hold it in again. I always do that. Then out of the blue something will set me off and make me weepy. I really am so grateful to have all of you here on Bikeforums. You guys truly are the best. And thank you to Joe for making all of this possible. I really do have friends here.

Thank you ((hugs)):love:

of course ya do - we luv ya Siu. :)

Love ya too, Ravenmore. ((hugs))

I do feel your pain, Siu. I lost my Dad 11 years ago. I still miss him. :(

Siu, you honor your mother but if it makes you feel better - there is nothing that a parents dreads more than to outlive their children.

Without a doubt that is my single biggest fear in this world. I pray to God that my children attend my funeral and not the other way around.

Yes you have, you have relished her memory and kept her in your heart. That's the best gift anyone can give another.

Your mother gave you the gift of life, not only that, she gave US the gift of YOU. For that I'm grateful to her. If the only thing she did in her life was give birth to you, to me that's a life well lived. I know you miss your mother Siu, but the best way to keep her alive is to remember her. To pay her back, live your life in a way that would make her proud, and that can be your gift to her. :)

+1.

That's all I really have to say.

Thank you for sharing this. The father of one of my co-workers is very sick and near death. I sent her the link. I believe it will comfort her while allowing her to see beauty and freedom within the overwhelming sadness she now feels...it's a glimmer of hope to know that life goes on.

You are welcome, Laura. I hope this helps your friend to let things out as it has for me.
I feel better now. I have this saved so I can go back to it and let myself cry every once in a while. It feels good to release all the pent up anguish and be able to refocus on things.

Siu, sistuh, baybuh. All I can say is that I know there is a time for having friends near (or via phone), and there is a time to truly be alone, and just feel the pain and loss in solitude, and then put it back in its place. There is no "letting go" of it, as so many people believe. Only "finding a place" for it, allowing it to wash over you once in a while, and then, telling it gently, that it must now go back to "that place" that you found for it. ((hugs))

Thank you Vega. Wow. That makes so much sense. "Finding a place". Yes, so it is never really gone, but put in it's place...

Thank you. Sooo so much. ((hugs)). Love ya, Vega. Thanks. :o

Without a doubt that is my single biggest fear in this world. I pray to God that my children attend my funeral and not the other way around.

Plus infinity. NOBODY should have to bury their child (even if the parent is 90 and "child" 70).