View Full Version : Just tell the punchline,,,,
trackhub
07-24-07, 05:52 PM
Sometimes, this is successful. Sometimes not. So,,,
Don't tell the entire joke, just tell the punchline. Use your imagination.
"You said you wanted a union house. Well pal, this is a union house, and Ethel there has seniority!"
"Death by Oonga-Boonga!"
"You think this is a good show? Last week, they had some loser trying to make with it with a chicken".
"That fifty bucks is for me and my two brothers to hold him down, because old Larry just isn't into that stuff either!"
"We use the camel to ride into town".
"Ya see? You're getting smart already!"
Candy shop owner: "You're father has some big nerve!"
Little kid: "Not really, it's only this big"
"From now on, Tuesday is your day in the barrel"
"The Sheep tell Lies!"
Bear, fur all singed and smoking, to hunter: "You,,You're not in this for the hunting, are you?"
No, that is Jesus Christ. He thinks he's Tiger Woods.
It's a twelve-inch pianist.
Hey buddy, why the long face?
It's the cobblestones.
You're scared, I gotta walk out of here alone
Herneka
07-25-07, 10:38 AM
"Yes, i can clearly see your nuts."
"You have a drink named Steve?"
"Because they taste funny."
ryder47
07-25-07, 04:00 PM
Punchline only . . .
I picked my scabs!
Arrrrrrh, and it's driving me nuts!
Turboem1
07-25-07, 06:05 PM
"You have a drink named Steve?"
:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:
This is the only one where I actually know the joke.
scrapmetal
07-26-07, 09:39 AM
We will pull her out again tomorrow.
SoonerBent
07-26-07, 10:09 AM
Oh, Senor, the bull he does not always lose.
Herneka
07-26-07, 11:11 AM
"Okay, he's dead, now what?"
"That's easy, you can't wear glasses with only one eye and one ear."
"I'm pretty lonely, i wish my two friends were back here with me."
And the Aussie said "That's so you can kiss'em!"
scrapmetal
07-27-07, 07:48 AM
They spent the whole honeymoon getting out of the limo.
I just can't stand the sound of a screaming woman or the smell of buring rubber!
GamecockTaco
07-27-07, 10:11 AM
Because you're f*&#ing ugly.
FlatTop
07-29-07, 08:55 AM
But it's eating my popcorn!
drissel
07-29-07, 09:26 AM
$20 bucks, same as in town!
Ever since we were last here, the monkey checks the cherries for size!
"You better not...that dog'll bite you!"
mirage1
07-29-07, 08:48 PM
Because chickens weren't invented yet.
Yeah, well, that's okay--I'm not a nun, either: my name is really Dave and I'm on my way to a costume party.
I'm a frayed knot!
Well, then, do you sell duck feed here?
Gosh, honey, that's weird--the pigs are in the back of the truck and one is up front honking the horn!
The rooster points to the sky and says, "Shh, it's getting closer!"
That was a bar b!tch you ate!
Like two elephants f***ing: Womb! Womb! Womb!
So I climbed into this refrigerator...
Orange you glad I didn't say Banana?
Close enough!
My third wish is that you'd take a baseball bat and beat me half to death. (this one actually doesn't work, mathematically speaking... but it's how I heard it!)
How many lanes did you want on that bridge?
Suffer b!tch, suffer!
Because he'll tell you.
God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.
All the way down to my b***s, coach!
And the little girl replies, "Well, probably by Saturday if the G** d**** lying son of a b**** suppliers would deliver the f***ing drywall."
A sedan has two doors.
I could go on...
mirage1
07-29-07, 08:49 PM
A stick.One of my favorites!
She has worms too and they're great for fishin!
What, again?
Gee Father if you put two drops of this on a cats ass it will pass a motorcycle.
No Father, it's bad enough being black.
Comeoniwannalayya
I took the horse out back and SHOWED him.
Whot shot my Paw?
and said "ouch."
And the guy replies "Akkkkkghk" and dies.
The first are cunning runts and the second are running ****s.
A sunburned zebra!
A trashtruck!
A newspaper!
"The O'Brien twins are drunk again."
"Hey, it could happen!"
"No one cries when you cut up an oboe."
"You can tune a lawnmower."
"You take away one stick and make him the conductor."
"Homeless"
"Duh!! Big red truck!"
"A lickalotapuss"
"If you think I'm going to let you do that to me 66 more times you're ****ing nuts!"
"... and deep too."
I may be crazy, but I ain't stupid.
Lipstick.
Hose A & Hose B
Can you put me up for the night?
Peter, I can see your house from here!
Hey buddy, can you cross your feet? I only have one nail left.
stevegor
08-02-07, 07:46 AM
You should have seen the monkey trying to put the cork back !!
While you guys were in there doin' that old lady, I was out here eating hot buttered corn!
mirage1
08-03-07, 09:47 AM
"You have a drink named Steve?"
I finally had to google this because it's such a great punch line. Now I have a new favorite joke!
Stir Crazy
08-03-07, 03:48 PM
Stu.
Bob.
Art.
Eileen.
Doug.
Matt.
Bud.
Dick.
Stu.
Bob.
Art.
Eileen.
Doug.
Matt.
Bud.
Dick.
Irene.
Pupsocket
08-04-07, 12:37 PM
"The dog didn't want to go fishing either."
trackhub
08-05-07, 05:02 PM
Indian medicine man, to young brave: "Why do you ask this question, Dog-licking-balls?
drissel
08-06-07, 06:39 PM
"Go back- it's an ambush...there's two of them!"
Because he can!
You wouldn't want a crashing boar for dinner, would you?
Olebiker
08-07-07, 12:52 PM
You gonna talk or you gonna fish?
because you can use a pitchfork
Hahaha. Never thought I'd cross these jokes again:
Can you put me up for the night?
Peter, I can see your house from here!
Hey buddy, can you cross your feet? I only have one nail left.
I'll add...
"Damn termites..."
scrapmetal
09-17-07, 06:14 AM
Forget fishing, go for a swim.
divergence
09-18-07, 12:19 AM
Plus an arbitrary constant.
scrapmetal
09-18-07, 05:16 AM
Only for the hard ones.
gaudentius
10-05-07, 03:47 PM
"Ma'am, what I asked you to do was to give Tickle-Me-Elmo two test . . . tickles."
Home plate
Elefino
His wife died three years ago.
It's a milking machine and it doesn't stop until it gets a gallon.
Nah, I'd have to explain it to five times.
You are on the other side.
I didn't know you were a cop.
(oldie) Pardon me, Roy. Is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?
Sixty Fiver
10-07-07, 11:45 AM
Why...don't you own a vase ?
I thought maybe this time he wouldn't jump.
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