Foo - Why put one on when you can Spray it on. Yes folks - it's condom spray

(giving credit to a thread over in backpackers.com for this link)

http://channels.isp.netscape.com/whatsnew/recent.jsp?story=20070716-1332&floc=NI-ntk2

Safe sex may be easier when a radically different type of condom hits the market in 2008 or so. German sex educators, led by Jan Vinzenz Krause from the Institute for Condom Consultancy, have invented a spray-on condom tailor-made for all sizes.
Here are two bizarre side effects of taking birth control pills. These aren't life-threatening, they're just weird!

"We're trying to develop the perfect condom for men that's suited to every size of penis," Krause told Reuters in an interview. "We're very serious." He said the product's goal is to help people enjoy better and safer sex lives. The condom will come in a spray can into which the man inserts his penis. He then pushes a button and it is covered in a rubber condom. "It works by spraying on latex from nozzles on all sides," he explained to Reuters. "We call it the '360 degree procedure'--once round and from top to bottom. It's a bit like a car wash."

Is this popular drink that you have your kitchen right now the female Viagra? It works in rats. Will it work in humans, too?

The plan is that the condom will be ready in five seconds and will function more effectively than traditional condoms on the market today because they will fit better and won't slip. But before the product can be sold, the team must first make sure the latex is evenly spread when sprayed. Krause's plan is to hit the market by 2008 with this high-tech condom that will be available in different strengths and colors.

_____________________

I just can't imagine the conversations that could happen upon newbie usage.

:)

Different strengths. Ha. Like from dead fish to raging bull strength. :)

Or why pay for the 30 minute strength when you only need the 30 second variety. :lol:

Different strengths. Ha. Like from dead fish to raging bull strength. :)

LOL and old man love:rolleyes:.

What if all you need is the can? Where does that leave the woman? Was it good for you too?

What if all you need is the can? Where does that leave the woman? Was it good for you too?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap:D.

I can see it now, guys everywhere have a Pavlov reaction everytime a spray can get shaken.

I just find this soo funny.

I can see it now, guys everywhere have a Pavlov reaction everytime a spray can get shaken.

I just find this soo funny.

hehe, I'm thinking of the guys who are trying really really hard to spray their graffiti - and, and ...

Does it come in a ribbed variety? Flavored? Spermicidal? Reservoir end? OK- I'll stop there. Crazy Germans- what will they think of next? :) Heh- the very idea of an "Institute for Condom Consultancy" :):):) Who are "consulting" with? Is that what that call it now?

Great, just what my life was missing: deadly allergen in an aerosol version.

I wonder if Jon could use it on his face?









:eek::p

Great, just what my life was missing: deadly allergen in an aerosol version.

but think about it ... :D

(as I posted on the other forum)

Excuse me people, can I get some quite time here? Stereo - on, mood music - perfect. Wine, uncorked - perrrfect......

<ERRRRT>


Excuse me my sweets while I, psssssssssssssssst, dam I missed.

psssssssssssssssssssst

Can't seem to get that nozzle straight!

pssssssssssssssssssssst

hmmmm, glued to my leg, this can't be good.

Now where is that pry bar.

Do you think it will be a single use can? Will we bombarded with safe sex ads about not sharing cans?

What if the gas in the can feels cold to the skin? Oops.

^^^ and what about the CFEs and stuff emitted into the air? Don't we have enough global warming already? Maybe they should re-think this as a non-aerosol spray... Or maybe a brush-on version. Oh- wait- these (http://www.drugstore.com/qxp13279_333181_sespider/new_skin/antiseptic_liquid_bandage.htm)already exist! Ok- we're covered now.

^^^ and what about the CFEs and stuff emitted into the air? Don't we have enough global warming already? Maybe they should re-think this as a non-aerosol spray... Or maybe a brush-on version. Oh- wait- these (http://www.drugstore.com/qxp13279_333181_sespider/new_skin/antiseptic_liquid_bandage.htm)already exist! Ok- we're covered now.

Death by CFE's from a condom can ----- priceless. :D

I note the description only describes putting it on, not taking it off.

I wonder if Jon could use it on his face?
:eek::p

Depends on whether or not his head will fit in the can.

Go ahead, I've teed that one up for you, now make your own jokes...

I notice the description only describes putting it on, not taking it off.

Eeeeeesny weeeny (no pun intended) tiny lettering on the side of the can ...

Suggested removal, use only as recommended.

http://gemini.tntech.edu/~slc3675/me361/mechlib/vgrip.jpg

Eeeeeesny weeeny (no pun intended) tiny lettering on the side of the can ...

Suggested removal, use only as recommended.

http://gemini.tntech.edu/~slc3675/me361/mechlib/vgrip.jpg

Just what I suspected. Fine German engineering.

Excuse me my sweets while I, psssssssssssssssst, dam I missed.

psssssssssssssssssssst

Can't seem to get that nozzle straight!

pssssssssssssssssssssst

hmmmm, glued to my leg, this can't be good.

Now where is that pry bar.

I don't know how to put this delicately, but... I imagine it would be pretty difficult to remove if there was a misfire and the spray coated the adjacent hair. Time for the clippers - better not miss with those! :eek:

Different strengths. Ha. Like from dead fish to raging bull strength. :)

lmao.

Eeeeeesny weeeny (no pun intended) tiny lettering on the side of the can ...

Suggested removal, use only as recommended.

http://gemini.tntech.edu/~slc3675/me361/mechlib/vgrip.jpg

Nah. It also can be chewed (nibbled) off. :)

I don't know how to put this delicately, but... I imagine it would be pretty difficult to remove if there was a misfire and the spray coated the adjacent hair. Time for the clippers - better not miss with those! :eek:



BWAHAHAH, you're thinking of the "mechanics" of the whole thing - concept people!!! Concept!!!

hehe



If anyone ever came to me with a can in hand, hehe, that would be a big ole NO!

Just imagine storing it next to this, and grabbing the wrong can in the dark. :eek:

http://www.taylorgifts.com/IMAGES/P14153B.JPG

Edit: "Meet my new friend, Mr. Harry Johnson!"

I wonder... If you wanted to play a practical joke on a co-worker, how many cans would it take to encapsulate their desk... their car...themselves while they sleep at work...?

Just imagine storing it next to this, and grabbing the wrong can in the dark. :eek:

http://www.taylorgifts.com/IMAGES/P14153B.JPG

Excuse me people, can I get some quite time here? Stereo - on, mood music - perfect. Wine, uncorked - perrrfect......

<ERRRRT>


Excuse me my sweets while I, psssssssssssssssst, dam I missed.

psssssssssssssssssssst

Can't seem to get that nozzle straight!

pssssssssssssssssssssst

hey, there's something happening here, and it isn't good.

Now where is that razer.

Death by CFE's from a condom can ----- priceless. :D

Couldn't you just see kids using this stuff to get high? The humanity! :eek:

Just imagine storing it next to this, and grabbing the wrong can in the dark. :eek:

Edit: "Meet my new friend, Mr. Harry Johnson!"



BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHah

hey, there's something happening here, and it isn't good.

Now where is that razer.

Lorena, is that you??? :eek:

Lorena, is that you??? :eek:

It's madame bobbit to you!

It's madame bobbit to you!

I think that at that point you're pretty much in the driver's seat and the guy will call you whatever you like. (Can you say that with a French accent please?)

^^^ and what about the CFEs and stuff emitted into the air? Don't we have enough global warming already? Maybe they should re-think this as a non-aerosol spray... Or maybe a brush-on version. Oh- wait- these (http://www.drugstore.com/qxp13279_333181_sespider/new_skin/antiseptic_liquid_bandage.htm)already exist! Ok- we're covered now.

Intentional pun? :)

Colors, eh. Wonder what those Krazy Germans will come up with for color names.

Blitzkrieg Blue
Efficient Nude

Product names?

pederhosen

Intentional pun? :)

Absolutely! :p

Colors, eh. Wonder what those Krazy Germans will come up with for color names.

Blitzkrieg Blue
Efficient Nude

Product names?

pederhosen

Bloodwurst Red

Colors, eh. Wonder what those Krazy Germans will come up with for color names.

Blitzkrieg Blue
Efficient Nude

Product names?

pederhosen

Perhaps the size of the can (and the corresponding coverage) will be color matched to the Department of Homeland Security's Threat Alert Scale:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f3/Hsas-chart.jpg

"Elevated" takes on a whole new meaning!

"Institute for Condom Consultancy"

:)

Perhaps the size of the can (and the corresponding coverage) will be color matched to the Department of Homeland Security's Threat Alert Scale:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f3/Hsas-chart.jpg

"Elevated" takes on a whole new meaning!


BWAHAHAHHA

A true bio-scale risk! Who know what that backseat trist would lead too!

Pickup lines:

If you love me, spray it, don't say it.

"Institute for Condom Consultancy"

:)

My first thought was "Why didn't my high school guidance counselor tell me about that job?" Then I realized that I'd hate to be the crash test dummy who discovered all the flaws with the prototypes.

"Hey, this one doesn't peel off easily. I think we discovered a new form of Crazy Glue!"

"Caution: May cause leprosy."

"Certain side effects may occur: headache, nausea, constipation, muscle weakness, dizziness, blurred vision, paralysis, loss of consciousness, permanent color changes to skin..."

http://www.unitedmaskandparty.com/Theme_Party_Supplies/images/german_lederhosen_black.JPG

Ja liebchen, ich bin ready for love.

Perhaps the size of the can (and the corresponding coverage) will be color matched to the Department of Homeland Security's Threat Alert Scale:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f3/Hsas-chart.jpg

"Elevated" takes on a whole new meaning!

I was thinking that the product would be more useful if the condom, once applied, were to change color in accordance with the various, shall we say, levels of threat. Think of the possibilities! :D:rolleyes::o

Pickup lines:

If you love me, spray it, don't say it.

Didn't the Spice Girls have a song like that?

Product names?

pederhosen

Der Hosen Hosen

Weinerschnitzel Spackle

OK- I just found out why the Germans invented this stuff- read about it here (http://archive.salon.com/travel/planet/2000/03/06/condoms/index.html), and sit in wonder at why this is in a food and travel column in Salon.

http://www.unitedmaskandparty.com/Theme_Party_Supplies/images/german_lederhosen_black.JPG

Ja liebchen, ich bin ready for love.

And all this time I thought it was a beer stein he was holding...:o

Didn't the Spice Girls have a song like that?

Yeah, Goo Much.

The German media asks the newly-available spokesperson what size can he needs:

http://velochimp.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/11/235px-jan_ullrich.jpg

There's a nice spinoff: spray on bicycle shorts. No seams.

der Sprühnebelpimmelkondomfüreschlechtsverkehr

By the time you say "I have to get my "Sprühnebelpimmelkondomfüreschlechtsverkehr" you won't need it anyway. Talk about one effective condom!