Well

Seeing how we don't have cars and all. I was wondering how you guys or gals go on a date to like the movies, dinner, ect. Now keep in mind most people don't venture into the car free life style.

so lets hear it.

Hi, Dwighty83! I suspect this is destined to become a very long thread.

I'm in favor of letting the other person know up front if you have car free inclinations. That probably shrinks the dating pool quite a bit, but you'll both have to deal with the issue sooner or later.

I got to know my significant other just after I got rid of my car. I made it clear that I intended to be carfree, and she made it just as clear that she would never give up her car. It worked out anyway. She bikes and walks with me, we even had a couple of nice dates using the bus. I ride in her car, pay for a lot of gas, and very infrequently take over the driving if she gets too tired. We compromise.

Closest to what you are asking is when I ride the tandem to where I will meet my stoker. We ride to some lunch stop and eat. Then pedal back to her car. Then I ride home. As her cycling improves we can progress to her getting on the tandem at my home. On a very basic level in our culture not having a car warns a date that this person might not be able to support any kids we produce. A real deal killer except in most unusual circumstances.

Chicago has a billion options, so not really fair to answer it..

But, from other places ive lived without as many options, it has never been an issue. I mean im willing to ride in cars, so maybe im not completely car free. But, going on dates with someone who is not car free all it means is that i cannot pick them up" and really I still can if im willing to get a taxi or hire a private car. Otherwise, I just meet them at the date spot, we both get there how we get there, or they can pick me up, or we can both cycle, or whatever.

so, not really sure why it would be an issue. Just two things to keep in mind, most of the time im not going to be able to pick them up from their place in a car, and we need to pick places to go that arnt real far away and inconvenient to get to, neither of these things really impact dating at all for me too much.

Usually, I would pedal over to her place and then we would go somewhere in her car. Usually I offer to pay for the meals because she is paying for the gas. This is important to develop a sense of balance and emphasize that I'm not car-free because I am money-free.

I think we psych ourselves out about this too much as cyclists,(and males.) I still "live car-free" although I ride scooters and motorcycles now, but I find that I still meet girls places, and I know a lot of them don't want to ride on the back of a motorcycle anyway, but look:

Times have changed. We seem to all be operating under the presupposition that this is 1952 and you have to go pick Mary Lou up from her daddy's house. It's not. This is 2007, women buy their own transportation, they may not want to put themselves in a situation of being in your car before they know you very well, and they certainly may not want you to know where they live before they know you. (This goes both ways, actually, as I have been stalked by psycho females and I usually don't tell them where I live for a while, either.)
Meeting someone in a public place is not rude and not symbolic of being unable to properly care for a lady, it's actually considerate enough to acknowledge that you don't want this person to feel uncomfortable in a potentially compromising situation, and if they're even remotely intelligent they'll pick up on this.

I use motorized transport for the first time in 6 years, and my dating habits haven't changed in the least. It's when you tell them you're a broke-ass college student that they run the other way. :)

This is 2007, women buy their own transportation, they may not want to put themselves in a situation of being in your car before they know you very well, and they certainly may not want you to know where they live before they know you.
Meeting someone in a public place is not rude and not symbolic of being unable to properly care for a lady, it's actually considerate enough to acknowledge that you don't want this person to feel uncomfortable in a potentially compromising situation, and if they're even remotely intelligent they'll pick up on this.

QFT.

I make it clear from the beginning that I choose not to have a car, and that this aspect of my life is non-negotiable. That is, in fact, a deal breaker for a few women I've met, but at least it saves us both a lot of time. However, for the majority of people I meet, they don't actually care that much if I don't have a car. If they like you, they like you. If they don't, a car, generally speaking, doesn't make any difference. (Of course, I've never tried to get a date in SoCal, so it might be different in other places...)

As for logistics, I either just meet them at the place we're going, or I go to her place and we drive there or take the bus. If we drive there in her car, I pay for dinner or whatever. Whenever I can, I try to arrange it so neither my date nor I have to use cars, but I have found this to be difficult in most instances, especially if it's cold or rainy, or even dark.

Bottom liine: women will like you even if you have no car, if you're interesting otherwise, and you don't ask them for money. But they won't stop using their car, unless you live in Portland or Copenhagen or some other insanely bike-friendly city. If you do, in fact, find a woman who has parted with her car, or is eager to do so, marry her.

It's the same as any other date, except you don't use a car, you use one of the many other forms of transport available.

My dating pool is limited to a couple mile radius. The girl I'm currently dating lives 5 blocks away. Inspired her to get a bike and now we either both bike on dates, I bike to her place and she drives (+1 on paying for meals) or I meet her someplace. Lately she's been biking more; ass is looking bomb and when I kiss her neck (etc.) it's salty. I gotta ride slower for her to keep up but girls on bikes are (sometimes) well fit.

Usually girls figure out I strictly ride when they ask why my pant leg's rolled up.

I still get heckled about not having a car, or riding a bike to work (I do have a car, just most people don't know it). I either go on a double date and have my friend pick me up and ride with him/her to the location or compliment her car and have her pick me up.

I also try to double date often

It's the same as any other date, except you don't use a car, you use one of the many other forms of transport available.
Nice... last time I dated, I didn't have a car and neither did she. We survived. My thought is that nowadays, I might consider it advantage. An opportunity to create some "mystique" (and , in my case, I can use all the mystique I can muster...)

I might get blasted for this but



What about renting a car? If you still have a drivers licence and you are over 25 (or however old you have to be), go and pick her up. She will see you in a nice clean car (don't rent a Mustang Convertible, just something basic, like a Taurus) and not automatically eject you from her dating pool due to the reasons eloquently stated by others. I promise you, she won't be impressed by a Taurus.

On the second date, have her pick you up and go somewhere.

Third date, bring up the no car subject. Bombs are best dropped on the third date, like "I'm still married" , "I still live with my mother" or "I have Herpes"

BTW I have never said any of those things.

Disregard my statement if you are vehimently opposed to all kinds of motorized transport, or if the girl isn't worth dropping 40 bucks for the rental.

Or maybe I'm still hurt because I got "denied" in college on the first date by a beautiful girl when she found out I didn't have a car. When I told her, her phone 'rang", she had an emergency, and never returned my call.I know "good riddance" and all that, but she was that hot.

Learn to dance. I liked swing because it was kind of a nerdy subculture that suited me. Everyone gets sweaty dancing but they all use the same sweat management strategies as cyclists. You can show up at a dance on a bike and leave on a bike if that's what you like. Dancing is primal, a savage alternative to socially calculated, success based dating.

Edit: Thought I'd add a link in the unlikely event anyone is interested. There are lots of different dance subcultures, this is a link to a popular swing forum.
http://www.yehoodi.com/phpBB2/index.php

I gotta ride slower for her to keep up but girls on bikes are (sometimes) well fit.



Here's something I learned from raising a daughter but also works on bike dates. Your average speed will be higher if you let the female ride in front. Actually on group rides not just dates, if the slowest person knows the route let the slowest person lead. It keeps the group together. It isn't a race.

The real hard part I think its planning trips. No one likes to drive seeing how gas cost an arm and a leg. Being somewhat old fashioned, I would like to say, I think I should drive and all. I guess it also depends on the area you live. I mean some of the girls I meet like 30 mins car ride away. Sorry, but Im not riding that far to hang out with a girl haha.

I mean some of the girls I meet like 30 mins car ride away. Sorry, but Im not riding that far to hang out with a girl haha.
I hang out with a girl that far away by interstate. Its like a 2 hour bike ride at my pace. She lets me shower at her place after I get there. We often meet halfway. Some girls are worth the effort, some aren't.

By the time I know someone well enough to accept a date, they likely already know that I prefer the bike to the car.

Meeting somewhere is usually the best bet, car or no.

The hardest part is turning down a car ride or some variation of "Let me pick you up, isn't it dangerous for a girl to be out alone on a bike at night?" When i say no, i prefer the bike, and i'll be fine, it's sometimes taken as some kind of insult or argument.

I'm a girl, I don't own a car, and, well, I don't think I could date anyone who didn't ride a bike. If, for some odd reason, I dated someone who didn't ride, I'd meet them wherever we were going. Since I live downtown, I'm near almost everywhere one would go on a date in Atlanta, so that isn't a problem. I guess it's different being a guy because women might like you to not be sweaty or whatever, but showing up on a date on a bike is the hottest thing I can think of. Plus, I feel weird if they guy wants to drive me everywhere--it's just not my style.

Let's see....I live in downtown St Paul, girlfriend lives in downtown Minneapolis.

I'm car light (drive maybe once every 2 weeks to my parents' place). She's car free.

We've got choices: walk, transit, bike.

While you're never going to get a woman into your car immediately after meeting her, i have on more than one occasion had one riding on the back of my Xtracycle within five minutes of making introductions.

I'm just saying, I don't see the disadvantages... :)

Date? What's that?

Well

Seeing how we don't have cars and all. I was wondering how you guys or gals go on a date to like the movies, dinner, ect. Now keep in mind most people don't venture into the car free life style.

so lets hear it.

Quite simple really. When its time to leave, my partner and I get on out bikes, we pedal to our destination, lock the bikes, and enjoy our outing. We do the same to get home only in the opposite direction.

I guess it also depends on the area you live. I mean some of the girls I meet like 30 mins car ride away. Sorry, but Im not riding that far to hang out with a girl haha.
I ride 3 times that each way every day to hang out with people I don't particularly like or care for (granted, I get paid to be there) I can't imagine why I wouldn't want to get the double fun of both enjoying a 30 minute ride and getting to hang out with a girl I like.... talk about a win-win!

I think we psych ourselves out about this too much as cyclists,(and males.) I still "live car-free" although I ride scooters and motorcycles now, but I find that I still meet girls places, and I know a lot of them don't want to ride on the back of a motorcycle anyway, but look:

Girls might like motorcycles, but I agree that most won't ride on the back until the realize that you do not ride like a complete tard. I'd known my boyfriend for months before I even considered getting on the back, and that was just because he wanted to show me how great his bike was to try and get me to trade it with him for my 636.

Learn to dance. I liked swing because it was kind of a nerdy subculture that suited me.

Hey, great idea, thanks! I was running out of ideas for new original dates. :D

Girls might like motorcycles, but I agree that most won't ride on the back until the realize that you do not ride like a complete tard. I'd known my boyfriend for months before I even considered getting on the back, and that was just because he wanted to show me how great his bike was to try and get me to trade it with him for my 636.
Funny you should mention that. This was just about the only "dating rule" I was given by my dad: I was never to get on the back of a guy's motorcycle until Dad had a chance to evaluate his skill level.

Funny you should mention that. This was just about the only "dating rule" I was given by my dad: I was never to get on the back of a guy's motorcycle until Dad had a chance to evaluate his skill level.

Good rule. The passenger is usually hurt the worst in a crash, since they are sent flying off the back. Same reason I'd refuse the extracycle rides most of these guys are talking about.

Hey, great idea, thanks! I was running out of ideas for new original dates. :D

If you swing both ways, you increase your chances of finding someone. ;)

If you swing both ways, you increase your chances of finding someone. ;)
No can swing both ways in swing, on the dance floor at least, the lead-follow conventions are completely inflexible and date back to the 1930s. Swing is so 1999 anyway. What you'll be seeing more of in the future is Capoeira which can be more gender agnostic. Not something for the grey bearded set, though.

You missed the innuendo. :p

You missed the innuendo. :p
Naw, I miss lots less than ya think. ;)

So, how did people go out on dates before the car was invented? I'm really surprised nobody has mentioned how to "pick up a date" on a bicycle. Here's the Classic Way of how-to-date-on-a-bicycle:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAstM_ISCa0


Classic... Am I right, or am I right?

:D

So far my solution has been to have the best girlfriend ever. Not only does she not care that I don't own a car, she fully endorses it...and in fact she doesn't own a car either.

Other then that I don't think girls really care if you don't own a car. I mean it keeps you in better shape, and just bring an extra shirt and get there early so you can wash your face off and you're golden.

Tell me, why would you want to date a girl that only wants to have dinner with car owners? I suppose American dating culture is more merchantile, but wouldn't you want a girl that is interested in YOU, rather than your bank account, let alone car?

I certainly never met anyone that thought less of me because I didn't need a car to move myself around. I rather find that most people understand that having a car is for the most part unnecessary, expensive, polluting and fattening, it's just that they are too attached to it to get rid of it. Hence, they tend to respect you for doing the right thing.

Anyway, I like to do indoor climbing, swimming in a lake, bicycling, promenading in the city, hiking or some other physical activity or just meet with the girls in cafes. In Europe, and certainly in Sweden, you are not expected to transport the girl to the where you intend to meet, so she might not even notice if you arrive by bike.

In Europe, and certainly in Sweden, you are not expected to transport the girl to the where you intend to meet, so she might not even notice if you arrive by bike.

Few places have the kind of gender-equality that Sweden does. If only.

Well, I don't think this is only a question about equality. No matter what you feel about gender equality, why would you even want to date someone that isn't interested in you per se? In any case, I am glad that we are not so obsessed with cars around here... Families tend to have cars, but for others it's not a question of car free living, some have cars and some don't simple as that. Cars are much cheaper than apartments or houses anyway, and I understand that most people borrow money to buy them, so they aren't really much of an indicator of wealth anyway. Right now I live in Moscow, and they are also quite car crazy here. Anyone with a motorized vehicle instantly rises 1000% in attractive power. Even the minibus (a means of public transport here) drivers get good looking girls! Another curious thing is that bicycles are starting to show in the streets, but so far I have seen very few riders that have figured out that the primary purpose of bicycles is transportation, they just ride around on the pavement, probably to show off their bikes.