Foo - Why am I SO Stupid??

Why am I so nice to guys only to be walked all over??? :mad: Yeah yeah so I like this guy and thought we had a good thing going, but everytime we would make plans he either doesn't call me or just plain ignores me. It all started about a month ago, we were doing the long distance thingy he lives about 100 miles away from me. Things started out great and now well I'm sitting here feeling stupid cause he said he would come to visit me for 4 days and nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I called once and left a message no return call back nothing. I feel USED!!

You need some bugs in your teeth...

Oh is that what it is?? That will bring the nice guys to me??

No, she needs some Eboo in her...shoe.

Take heart, snowy. He didn't deserve you in the first place. At least you discovered this only a month in; now you don't have to waste any more time on the ****** nozzle. You will totally find someone who worships at your feet on a daily basis, I PROMISE.

Awww I feel ya Bugs. :)

Thanks Eboo. Just sucks. I'm frustrated with the whole dating scene. :(

I hate when my flirt is misinterpreted. It was really romantic n everythin too...

Ok, I'm done.

BWAHAHAH, you guys are too funny.

Um, sorry - I didn't mean to mis interpret. an all. ya know.

<leaving now>

Awww I feel ya Bugs. :)

Thanks Eboo. Just sucks. I'm frustrated with the whole dating scene. :(

Fah, dating scene. :mad:

Fah, dating scene. :mad:

Yeah, screw the dating scene for a little while. It's frustrating and, shockingly, not always a whole barrel full o' jsharrs of fun. Ride yer bike. Forget men and/or women for awhile. One will just fall into your lap. And then he had better buy you a drink, because, dude, you fell in my lap.

You're not stupid, Snowy, he is. Stupid ****** nozzle. (that's a fun phrase)

+1 on forgetting the dating scene. Enjoy being single.

Forget the dating scene, Snowy.

Try stalking.


Actually, I don't think it would be stalking to call him one more time in a few days. Maybe something happened? A missed message? A misunderstanding? An emergency in his family? You could even say that you'd like at least an email if it's over, and no hard feelings if it is. Sounds like you deserve that much.

Give him one chance. He flunks, he's gone. You gotta let people know immediately what is acceptable behavior and what isn't.

oh, sorry, Snowy. I think you are wrong, though, you are far from stupid. You are quite smart and quick to pick up on the fact that something isn't quite right. Smarter still let him go and move on.

All that being said, perhaps Krink is right? maybe the dude accidentally dropped his cell phone in the commode and doesn't have a quarter for a phone and his dog ate his car keys. All valid excuses for leaving a cool chica like you hanging. :rolleyes:

You just don't have enough KT in your life. That is your problem dear. :) :love:

oh, sorry, Snowy. I think you are wrong, though, you are far from stupid. You are quite smart and quick to pick up on the fact that something isn't quite right. Smarter still let him go and move on.

All that being said, perhaps Krink is right? maybe the dude accidentally dropped his cell phone in the commode and doesn't have a quarter for a phone and his dog ate his car keys. All valid excuses for leaving a cool chica like you hanging. :rolleyes:


I was thinking more like he misplaced his brain for a few days. We know zero about the dude, or the relationship, so I'm just wondering if he and she might have different ideas/standards about what the relationship, well, is. Standards that might be a matter of negotiation and discussion.

I know that misunderstandings have never happened in male-female romantic relationships before, but there is always a first time.

he lives about 100 miles away from me.

Gas is too expensive for 100 mile relationships these days.


Patience, Snowy. Patience....

I was thinking more like he misplaced his brain for a few days. We know zero about the dude, or the relationship, so I'm just wondering if he and she might have different ideas/standards about what the relationship, well, is. Standards that might be a matter of negotiation and discussion.

I know that misunderstandings have never happened in male-female romantic relationships before, but there is always a first time. ;)

Nice one Cylowe97

It just sucks cause he said for the last 3days see you on Monday. Now its here and nothing. Still feeling used. :(

Oh the joy of dating.

KT I thought you were spoken for??

Snowy, did the relationship start a month ago, or did he start breaking commitments about a month ago?

Nice one Cylowe97

It just sucks cause he said for the last 3days see you on Monday. Now its here and nothing. Still feeling used. :(

Oh the joy of dating.

KT I thought you were spoken for??

See, that is just it. Dating is supposed to be FUN. Of course we all run into the duds, the no-goods, the empty-promisers, but when we stop having fun, that is the time to stop dating those people. There shouldn't be heartache in just one month of dating; this should be the fun time. If he's already causing you to question things, then he's not right for you.

Look at it this way, his behavior and your feelings are happening for a reason. This is where you get to be open to whomever the universe sends your way. You are a super cool woman, a super cool man will find his way to you; this I know.

Snowy, did the relationship start a month ago, or did he start breaking commitments about a month ago?

No we've been seeing eachother for two months. I thought everything was going great we get along really well, biking was fun etc, then he just started acting strange on the phone with me, and I called him out on it, and since then its been no good. :(

He said it was the distance thingy and not getting to see me but then why would you say your coming to visit and not show??

There might be a chance that you're better off without a man at all at this point.

Errr... I don't mean go lesbo or anything...

Err.. wait.. let me think about that first...

...

..

.


Sorry I gotta say I love the the man. :)

The naysayers here are almost certainly right, because most dating relationships fail to continue. But some succesfull relationships do not start with TV-perfect first months.

"Dating SHOULD be fun" but sometimes it isn't. It can be hard work. Rarely do two people move at exactly the same speed toward commitment.

So he made arrangements to come over, and you haven't heard from him for a few days now?

What if he's lying broken in a drainage ditch somewhere, swatting away coyotes with the only unbroken limb remaining?


Not the case, I spoke to him lastnight and very briefly this morning. I asked him this morning what time he was going to show and he said he would call later. I haven't heard from him yet.

You are right, Krink. I wasn't suggesting that it is all happy happy joy joy all the time, because I know that for a relationship to continue it takes open, honest, communication with dedication and work. It just seems like to me, that if two people really enjoy each other, and are truly into one another, then there will be much more fun than doubt.

The naysayers here are almost certainly right, because most dating relationships fail to continue. But some succesfull relationships do not start with TV-perfect first months.

"Dating SHOULD be fun" but sometimes it isn't. It can be hard work. Rarely do two people move at exactly the same speed toward commitment.

Yep we were definitely moving at two different paces.

No we've been seeing eachother for two months. I thought everything was going great we get along really well, biking was fun etc, then he just started acting strange on the phone with me, and I called him out on it, and since then its been no good. :(

He said it was the distance thingy and not getting to see me but then why would you say your coming to visit and not show??

I agree that the not showing is not as important as the saying he would and then not showing. Or, letting you know that he couldn't come. You should ask him exactly what you asked us here.

What do you feel about the distance thingy, btw.

You are right, Krink. I wasn't suggesting that it is all happy happy joy joy all the time, because I know that for a relationship to continue it takes open, honest, communication with dedication and work. It just seems like to me, that if two people really enjoy each other, and are truly into one another, then there will be much more fun than doubt.

Thats the sad thing, I have too much doubt.

Sorry to hear that, Snowy. It must be very dissapointing, especially after a couple of great months together.

Snowy,

Just concentrate on having fun for now and not so much on that whole relationship thing. If one is going to develop, it will. Just my 2¢

(If I was single and in Co though, I'd be knockin'!;))

Sorry about how you're feeling, snowy. But you're not stupid. Just because things aren't turning out doesn't mean it's your fault or that you shouldn't have done anything in the first place. Be willing to take chances (something I'm not very good at myself) but know that there comes a point to cut your losses, too. Good luck.

<HUG>

Why am I so nice to guys only to be walked all over??? :mad: Yeah yeah so I like this guy and thought we had a good thing going, but everytime we would make plans he either doesn't call me or just plain ignores me. It all started about a month ago, we were doing the long distance thingy he lives about 100 miles away from me. Things started out great and now well I'm sitting here feeling stupid cause he said he would come to visit me for 4 days and nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I called once and left a message no return call back nothing. I feel USED!!


I can't really help in the long run. But if you go for ride with us we can put you in a good mood for a couple of hours. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1xzuv-gejY

Ugh, this sucks Snowy. You know, it's just a bump in the road though. I've been in a dating "funk" lately where being single is a lot more fun than dating anybody... Whenever you do meet someone and he doesn't meet your expectations or things don't turn out like you'd hoped, try to put a positive spin on it by thinking you just weren't supposed to be together, and you're that much closer to finding someone who will make you happy. Easier said than done, I know.

It sounds like he's been getting flakey on you for a little while now. You called him out on it, and nothing changed. Kick him to the curb. If he doesn't have a legitimate excuse (my guess is he probably doesn't), he's not worth getting worked up about.

When I come to Colorado, you can treat me like that hot next door neighbor's college kid that mows the lawn without a shirt on.

Being that I'll fly in, and I am not yet old enough to rent a car, you can drive me around.


It's hard to ditch out on you when you're my ride!

I'm sorry to hear this, Snowy. It does sound like he's blowing you off. This reminds me very much of the guy I was seeing for a while last winter. I still don't know what the heck happened. At first that drove me nuts (just be direct - geez!), but after a while I stopped caring.

I'd love to tell you that my dating record has been all that and a bag of chips since then, but it wouldn't be true. My most recent dating fiasco was going out with a guy who, upon learning that I ride my bike everywhere, went off into a "bikes have no business on roads" spiel. Ugh. I'm not bitter per se, but I am in one of those phases where the company of my cat is more appealing. I hope it passes soon.

You seem more extroverted in the dating arena than I am. This can only work in your favor. :)

When I come to Colorado, you can treat me like that hot next door neighbor's college kid that mows the lawn without a shirt on.

Being that I'll fly in, and I am not yet old enough to rent a car, you can drive me around.


It's hard to ditch out on you when you're my ride!

HEE HEE. :) Sounds like a plan.

I can't really help in the long run. But if you go for ride with us we can put you in a good mood for a couple of hours. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1xzuv-gejY

You made my night :D

Who needs a man when I have the best little doggie in the world right next to me :)

Thanks I needed a good laugh and you delievered that to me :)

hehe, Bailey was cute! Nice little cuddle upper to end the night with!

snowy, i'd be happy to share some ice cream with you. despite my lactose intolerance.

Sorry to hear snowy.. Dating can be strange sometimes and seems to be more complicated than it needs to be.. Give us his phone number and we can hassle him to no end :D..


Ugh. I'm not bitter per se, but I am in one of those phases where the company of my cat is more appealing.

Meh thats like the first conversation of the 3 conversations that leads to donna becoming a crazy cat lady.

[Obligatory comment about how this guy is a jerk.]

God, what a ****** nozzle (I seriously love this term). :p

You made my night :D

Who needs a man when I have the best little doggie in the world right next to me :)

Thanks I needed a good laugh and you delievered that to me :)


:)That's great! http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/4514/yellowcirclewithbaileyyp4.jpg



hehe, Bailey was cute! Nice little cuddle upper to end the night with!

:D

snowy, i'd be happy to share some ice cream with you. despite my lactose intolerance.


Where are you. I'll spend some your way. :)

Why am I so nice to guys only to be walked all over??? :mad: Yeah yeah so I like this guy and thought we had a good thing going, but everytime we would make plans he either doesn't call me or just plain ignores me. It all started about a month ago, we were doing the long distance thingy he lives about 100 miles away from me. Things started out great and now well I'm sitting here feeling stupid cause he said he would come to visit me for 4 days and nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I called once and left a message no return call back nothing. I feel USED!!



Dump him.. Either he is dead or he is dumpy. And if he is dead I would still dump him.




My Advice: The most likely scenerio here is that he will call you and maybe try to make some excuse for himself. If he does, use this as an oppertunity to dump him. That's what they always do, - you think your through with them no matter what - and then they find a way to talk their way back into your life. :rolleyes:


I had a really bad day last week, I had to call the police becz I came home and found my ex-gf in my room and she refused to leave. It was a long really bad ordeal. I showed up to work that night and my current gf (whom I work with) wanted me to give her the rundown of what happened in approx thirty seconds as she was on the way out the door to give a friend of hers a ride home. She had the night off, and so she never came back.. I called her cell and got 30 seconds into the call before her prepaid minutes ran out. She never called me back, not from her home phone or anything. I swore I was never going to talk to that self absorbed lady ever again no matter what.. but the very next day I did after some profuse and prolonged apologising. She was supposed to pick up a fishbowl I made for her and her son today, she never did, didn't call either.. and now, I have to put that fish in my blender.



*Dislaimer: Always follow any and all of my advice at your own risk/peril. :)

Dump him.. Either he is dead or he is dumpy. And if he is dead I would still dump him.




My Advice: The most likely scenerio here is that he will call you and maybe try to make some excuse for himself. If he does, use this as an oppertunity to dump him. That's what they always do, - you think your through with them no matter what - and then they find a way to talk their way back into your life. :rolleyes:


I had a really bad day last week, I had to call the police becz I came home and found my ex-gf in my room and she refused to leave. It was a long really bad ordeal. I showed up to work that night and my current gf (whom I work with) wanted me to give her the rundown of what happened in approx thirty seconds as she was on the way out the door to give a friend of hers a ride home. She had the night off, and so she never came back.. I called her cell and got 30 seconds into the call before her prepaid minutes ran out. She never called me back, not from her home phone or anything. I swore I was never going to talk to that self absorbed lady ever again no matter what.. but the very next day I did after some profuse and prolonged apologising. She was supposed to pick up a fishbowl I made for her and her son today, she never did, didn't call either.. and now, I have to put that fish in my blender.



*Dislaimer: Always follow any and all of my advice at your own risk/peril. :)

:(

But as to the fish, nah - it deserves a life.

if you were really stupid you would spell stupid wrong

:(

But as to the fish, nah - it deserves a life.



Actually I just made that up.. She told me she got a beta fish for her son, which inspired 'me' to get a pet beta fish of my own - and an african dwarf aquatic frog to keep it company. I made a little fish bowl complete with an aquatic plant with roots that grow some kind of algae that the beta fish can eat, so it was like a little self-sustaining ecosystem (except for the frog, he was kind of screwed). :D . .So, anyways when she saw my fish bowl set up she got fish bowl envy, which gave me the inspiration to make her one too.. except that the pet store was all out of dwarf aquatic frogs - so I bought a couple of slightly larger African clawed frogs, which can actually grow quite large - and will eat her fish.. so really, the joke's on her. :beer:

Actually I just made that up.. She told me she got a beta fish for her son, which inspired 'me' to get a pet beta fish of my own - and an african dwarf aquatic frog to keep it company. I made a little fish bowl complete with an aquatic plant with roots that grow some kind of algae that the beta fish can eat, so it was like a little self-sustaining ecosystem (except for the frog, he was kind of screwed). :D . .So, anyways when she saw my fish bowl set up she got fish bowl envy, which gave me the inspiration to make her one too.. except that the pet store was all out of dwarf aquatic frogs - so I bought a couple of slightly larger African clawed frogs, which can actually grow quite large - and will eat her fish.. so really, the joke's on her. :beer:


<scowl> My poor little betta fishies are at home, all alone while I'm sitting here with some smelly mutts. Treat that fishie right!

Signed

Tude

(frog legs anyone? :D - and actually they are quite good - but you'll have to grow yours for ohhhhhhhhh 10 years, scratch that - 25 years for any meaty goodness)

Sorry Snowy. But, don't be so hard on yourself. You're not the stupid one!

Sounds to me like he's either found someone else locally that he's dating (and is stringing you along in case it doesn't work) or he's in got a SO that he may not be all that into but he's too much of a ****** nozzle (that IS a great term) to end it even though he may be into you.

In either case, cut him loose. If its the former, he'll either leave you completely now or when something he thinks (mistakenly I might add -- :) ) is better comes along. If the later, he'll either stay with the SO in which case your relationship is going nowhere or he'll leave her which means he may do the same to you.

Let's reason this out, Snowy.

He probably discovered that you're actually his sister. Broken-hearted, he immediately enlisted as a missionary to Africa and boarded ship this morning.

But, who's to say that his information was correct, and not the product of mistaken identify by his informant, who, by the way, had her own designs on your man while pretending to be his sister in Christ? Who happened to be leaving for Africa ON THE SAME BOAT? And who actually IS your man's long-lost kinky BIOLOGICAL sister! And an athiest to boot!

You might yet receive a tear-stained farewell letter at the same time you discover the truth, unmask the lie, and curse the liar. You will realize that your man hadn't told you why he wasn't coming today because HE WANTED TO PROTECT YOU FROM THE AWFUL "TRUTH" OF YOUR INCESTUOUS AFFAIR.

Now what will you do Snowy? Let that poor, decent man die forlorn and forgotten, abandoned by that conniving incestual succubus after she sucks out his very life juices, reducing him to a beggar gnawing scraps of bushmeat, riddled by guinea worms, and surrounded by six-fingered children with pronounced recessive traits?

Do you really want that on your conscience, Snowy?

That's why I say, call him again. For God's sake, call him.

Um, yeah.

you're not Stupid. You're too trusting too soon. Make him (whomever it will be) earn your trust.