Foo - Ignorance is bliss...

My sister uses my laptop frequently, she is 16...

She left open a message board post of hers in which i learned she is looking for ideas about "car sex" and in her sig mentions that she "smokes pot, because she likes how it feels".

Neither of this surprises me too much, i was her age just a short while ago. Her older sibling smoked dope all through high school (except myself) and most dropped out of high school. Her sister, my "ex"-step-sister (yes...my family could be on Jerry Springer) got herself pregnant a few years ago.

I always hoped that my sister had learned...apparently not.

Is this something i should talk to her about myself? Should i tell her parents?

She has had a boyfriend for a while, he's kind of a turd, but he's 16...they are always creating drama for them self. I don't dislike this guy, but i'm not sure she really knows what she sees in him. And i certainly don't like the idea of her losing her virginity in her car (which she just got, how convenient) to this turd...especially at 16.

Regarding the pot, i don't have any issue with people smoking, but i do have my limits. 16 year olds don't need to be smoking in my opinion...especially one with her maturity, or lack of it rather.

This is that moment i always imagined would come but hoped would never.

This wont "fix" anything by any means...but i certainly don't want her talking about this **** on my computer either my laptop or my desktop, through my router and on my keyboard/mouse...

So my router is now blocking that website :)

You can't keep teens from having sex, it's that simple.



But you can dress in all black wearing a balaclava and scare the **** out of the boyfriend so he's to afraid to take a poke at her. Confront him outside in a threatening manner and don't let him figure out it was you.

I thought this thread belonged to P&R? What do you want; meaningless fluff, or invaluable wisdom? Make up your mind.

I thought this thread belonged to P&R? What do you want; meaningless fluff, or invaluable wisdom? Make up your mind.


Invaluable wisdom, which is why i removed it away from javna, i never meant to post it in P&R anyways.

Sounds like the rest of your family's just a shambles. If she hasn't learned from the examples already around her, well yeah I wonder how useful it would be trying to confront her. Try anyway, what do you have to lose? Rat her out if you want, again what do you have to lose?

Where are her parents?

It does sound like the whole family is stuck in some Springer-like vortex of self-perpetuating trashdom. Once you've done all you can to relieve your conscience, get some popcorn and sit back and watch the show. You can delight in knowing that one day you can appear on Springer as the lone, sensible relative.

Where are you parents?

Thats a can of worms you really don't want to open i think. Keep in mind that the majority of the siblings i mentioned are the kids of her mother, who is not my mother.

Children can only be nudged along the road to sanity. I always thought peer groups and television to have an equal input to positive family influences. A heart to heart with those she respects would be a good start . Excessive authority figures can turn them off by being too firm. Who might she respect and love , other than her boyfriend.

oops, sorry, I'm a P&R flunkie, ignore my comments.

Thats a can of worms you really don't want to open i think. Keep in mind that the majority of the siblings i mentioned are the kids of her mother, who is not my mother.

okay, what are you doing awake right now? Didn't even let me finish editing my post!

But yeah, that does explain a few things.

My sister uses my laptop frequently, she is 16...

She left open a message board post of hers in which i learned she is looking for ideas about "car sex" and in her sig mentions that she "smokes pot, because she likes how it feels".

Neither of this surprises me too much, i was her age just a short while ago. Her older sibling smoked dope all through high school (except myself) and most dropped out of high school. Her sister, my "ex"-step-sister (yes...my family could be on Jerry Springer) got herself pregnant a few years ago.

I always hoped that my sister had learned...apparently not.

Is this something i should talk to her about myself? Should i tell her parents?

She has had a boyfriend for a while, he's kind of a turd, but he's 16...they are always creating drama for them self. I don't dislike this guy, but i'm not sure she really knows what she sees in him. And i certainly don't like the idea of her losing her virginity in her car (which she just got, how convenient) to this turd...especially at 16.

Regarding the pot, i don't have any issue with people smoking, but i do have my limits. 16 year olds don't need to be smoking in my opinion...especially one with her maturity, or lack of it rather.

This is that moment i always imagined would come but hoped would never.

Both hilarious! I especially like the one where you imply she's a virgin. 16's not what it used to be man.

You might want to confront her about it (yeah, it will be awkward) and just be sure she is using protection. Neither pot or safe sex will screw up her life, especially at 16, but an STD or unwanted pregnancy can really suck. Don't be preachy, just make sure she knows that there are people who have realistic expectations of her and that you are only looking out for her interests.

I was really afraid I was going to be in a similiar situation with my younger sister, but she is pretty smart and learned from my mistakes :rolleyes:

Whatever you do, don't take her to that Vince Neil show.

The bass player will probably give her the clap.

You might want to confront her about it (yeah, it will be awkward) and just be sure she is using protection. Neither pot or safe sex will screw up her life, especially at 16, but an STD or unwanted pregnancy can really suck. Don't be preachy, just make sure she knows that there are people who have realistic expectations of her and that you are only looking out for her interests.

I was really afraid I was going to be in a similiar situation with my younger sister, but she is pretty smart and learned from my mistakes :rolleyes:

:beer:

Very awkward.....I would talk to her and tell her " it's not my place to tell you what to do ", but.....

Then give a little speech about if you're gonna have sex, make sure a condom is used (even if you're on the pill).

I don't want it to sound like condoning, but as WeThePeople said, if she wants to get it, nobody can stop her, she'll find a way. Just make sure she's thinking about safety because she doesn't want a pregnancy or an STD.

Both hilarious! I especially like the one where you imply she's a virgin. 16's not what it used to be man.

You don't get your first car and then two days later make a post online about where they can hide safely to have sex if you are already having sex.

I think the first step is to get her to stop using your laptop.

I think the first step is to get her to stop using your laptop.


That just means she uses my desktop. Although i'm not really sure why that's a problem.

I think the first step is to get her to stop using your laptop.

This is unwise.

The more she's using the laptop, the less time her boyfriend gets to use her laptop.

got herself pregnant a few years ago.



Happened to me once.

That's the last time I do whipits in the shower. :(

There really are only two paths - one which makes plans for tomorrow, the other lives for just today. If you don't change her world view - you are spitting in the wind.

Happened to me once.

That's the last time I do whipits in the shower. :(

LOL:roflmao::lol::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

You don't get your first car and then two days later make a post online about where they can hide safely to have sex if you are already having sex.

Yeah, you also don't get your first nipple clamps and then two days later ask how you can use them sexually if you've already had sex.

You also don't get your first hotel room and then two days later ask how you can use the hotel room to have sex if you've already had sex.

You also don't get your first morning after pill and then two days later ask how you can use it for sex if you've already had sex.

See what I'm getting at? Asking around the best way to use her car in the pursuit of sex doesn't mean she's a virgin. More likely she just wants more sex in a safer environment than in the bushes or behind the school or on the couch while the parents are asleep or out in the enclosed patio or in the bathroom or at your brother's place or just in the backyard hoping no one comes out... are you sure you were 16 once?

The more strict you are about it, the more she will try to experiment. Just be cool about it, and make it about her bf being a young ******, not about a guilt trip on her.

I know a very successful woman (it could be me, I'm not saying for sure) who engaged in coitus at sixteen, and also may have smoked a little (or a lot of) reefer.

Yet now, as an adult, she's a taxpaying, responsible member of society, happily married for 7 years.

Perhaps it may be better to invest some time in your sister by being a loving big brother; just feeling loved by someone does wonders for making people better humans. And you might get something out of it, too. Who knows, maybe the extra attention from you will make her feel so confident that in the future she'll pick guys who are as wonderful as you. With the way things sound about your "Jerry Springer" family, she might not have the most confidence in the world.

And yes, as KingTermite said, advise her to always use a condom, weather she's on the pill or not.

Yeah, you also don't get your first nipple clamps and then two days later ask how you can use them sexually if you've already had sex.

You also don't get your first hotel room and then two days later ask how you can use the hotel room to have sex if you've already had sex.

You also don't get your first morning after pill and then two days later ask how you can use it for sex if you've already had sex.

See what I'm getting at? Asking around the best way to use her car in the pursuit of sex doesn't mean she's a virgin. More likely she just wants more sex in a safer environment than in the bushes or behind the school or on the couch while the parents are asleep or out in the enclosed patio or in the bathroom or at your brother's place or just in the backyard hoping no one comes out... are you sure you were 16 once?

I can assure you that she's a virgin based on what i read, it doesn't really matter though because she probably wont be in a few weeks.

The reason she's interested in doing it in the car (which, by the way, if she thinks she can just go do it in a compact car no problem she's to another thing coming...i've tried it and it aint easy!) is because she lives in a house with 8 people...

I know a very successful woman (it could be me, I'm not saying for sure) who engaged in coitus at sixteen, and also may have smoked a little (or a lot of) reefer.

Yet now, as an adult, she's a taxpaying, responsible member of society, happily married for 7 years.

Perhaps it may be better to invest some time in your sister by being a loving big brother; just feeling loved by someone does wonders for making people better humans. And you might get something out of it, too. Who knows, maybe the extra attention from you will make her feel so confident that in the future she'll pick guys who are as wonderful as you. With the way things sound about your "Jerry Springer" family, she might not have the most confidence in the world.

And yes, as KingTermite said, advise her to always use a condom, weather she's on the pill or not.

It took longer then this reply to come up then i expected.

I speed in my car frequently and have never gotten a ticket for it. I suppose i should just go ahead and do it.

She has a very thick history of addiction in her family as well as depression (let alone bonehead decisions). What works for you may or may not work for someone else, frankly it's not a bet i'm willing to make.

Do i think she's going to turn into a crack babies mother? No. But sitting by and watching her partake in such activities at 16 isn't something i'm willing to do. Regarding her boyfriend, he's not a bad guy, he's just a puddy 16 year old doofus.

She contently preaches about how the first person should be special yet she's willing to do that in the back of her Taurus with a guy she fights with every other weekend. Which brings me to another point. Age has little to do with maturity. She has the body and hormones of a 16 year old and an attitude to match, but she has the maturity of a 13 year old frequently.

I'd take the above female's advice.

#1. Don't save Rapunzel. Let her save herself, or she will never grow up and become a woman.

(loosely translated from Dr. Laura's book 10 Dumb Things Men Do, And How To Avoid Them...or something like that).

So, let me ask a blunt question - to my generation (man I am old) - you having sex before you are married is as bad as your sister at 16. Why is it okay for you to have sex and not for her?

What's the diff?

Because believe me - if you bring up the issue with her, that is EXACTLY what is going through her mind. To me, the difference in age between you and your sister is a blink in my life... You are both kids... :D

Or, worse yet, she will think - "Is it okay because you are a guy and I am a girl?!"

Why wouldn't she follow in your footsteps?

Enough, I am making self feel ancient... :eek:

So, let me ask a blunt question - to my generation (man I am old) - you having sex before you are married is as bad as your sister at 16. Why is it okay for you to have sex and not for her?

What's the diff?

Because believe me - if you bring up the issue with her, that is EXACTLY what is going through her mind. To me, the difference in age between you and your sister is a blink in my life... You are both kids... :D

Or, worse yet, she will think - "Is it okay because you are a guy and I am a girl?!"

Why wouldn't she follow in your footsteps?

Enough, I am making self feel ancient... :eek:

I understand what you're saying but i feel that there is a huge difference between the maturity levels of an 18 year old and 16 year old...not much but enough. There is an even larger difference between a 21 year old (myself) and a 16 year old.

If you don't believe me then you need to go sit in a sophomore class room in high school and talk to me later.

Furthermore, i've been dating my girlfriend for 7 years, she's been with this kid for just over a year and they can't even get along for more then 2 weeks without 'taking breaks'.

And for the record, though i don't think it really matters, i did not lose my virginity at 16...nor was it in the back of a car, nor was i asking sex advice from complete strangers on a message board.

Listen, i was 16, i know what she's going though, but i also know her very well and i know she likes to rush things and she can't see beyond the horizon. I just think this may be something she'd regret.

Boy the American Moral society is sure messed up. God help the world if Americans try to push their moral culture into the rest of the world.

Someone had to say it :p ...

Boy the American Moral society is sure messed up. God help the world if Americans try to push their moral culture into the rest of the world.

Someone had to say it :p ...

And what exactly is it?

Brazillians are considered sexually mature adults by 15, but their culture is different, so there are far less mental casualties of sexuality over there and in the rest of the world.

Timmy is going to "save" his sister from her own sexuality (even though he got it on with his teen gf no prob).

How noble.

The older I get the more I doubt the ability of one person to change the behavior of another. She is a minor and I think any adults in her life have the obligation to help her avoid trouble. Odds are strongly against you but that's how things have pretty much been working here for the last couple hundred years.

And BTW, it isn't that hard to keep the average person off of ANY computer. Passwords and programs like safeyes, etc. will keep most people from ever seeing the web. Most 16 yr old girls aren't technically all that savy, especially when they are stoned. :D

Brazillians are considered sexually mature adults by 15, but their culture is different, so there are far less mental casualties of sexuality over there and in the rest of the world.

Timmy is going to "save" his sister from her own sexuality (even though he got it on with his teen gf no prob).

How noble.

You're completely missing the point. I'm not going to try and stop her from doing anything. You certainly have missed the point and are now just being a smart ass, this is typical of your style so i'm not even going to bother convincing you otherwise.

She is following step for step in the foot steps of her niece's mother, i'm not going to sit by and not say anything regarding that.

You don't get your first car and then two days later make a post online about where they can hide safely to have sex if you are already having sex.

Waitaminute, waitaminute. I thought she just got the virginity:


losing her virginity in her car (which she just got, how convenient)

Sorry. Just trying to add a little levity. My honest, though worthless, advice would be to try to talk to her as maturely as possible. Explain very clearly how she needs to be careful not to screw her life up at such a young age.

Also explain how evil boys are. Evil, vile creatures, us.

I lost my virginity in my mini-van.

Whas wrong with dat?

I commend you for looking out for your sister. I have a younger sister and we have a good relationship because I talked to her through her "terrible teens" instead of trying to parent her. Sounds like your sister is in need of a sex talk as well as a driving while impaired talk. Good luck.

I lost my virginity in my mini-van.

Whas wrong with dat?

There is more room i suppose.

There's actually enough room in a mini-van for a threesome...

I commend you for looking out for your sister. I have a younger sister and we have a good relationship because I talked to her through her "terrible teens" instead of trying to parent her. Sounds like your sister is in need of a sex talk as well as a driving while impaired talk. Good luck.

+1

And what exactly is it?

It = American moral society is messed up. To most people, they live their whole lives in it that they don't notice it's messed up.

It = American moral society is messed up. To most people, they live their whole lives in it that they don't notice it's messed up.



The same goes with many other places, aadhils. I would rather have the freedoms to live an immoral life in america - then worry about honour killings or have to worry about my sister being subjected to FGM.. wouldn't you? Every place has it's laundry list of dirty laundry.. -Americans just choose not to hide theirs, so much. :)

Yeah, don't assume....my mom assumed all kinds of stuff about me and was proven wrong on all of them.

Just sit down, have a serious talk with her, let her know how you feel as well as let her get any answers she may be seeking. You've been there, and it was closer to now than your parents are, so she is more likely to listen to you (It's hard to take advice that's older than you are, especially at that age).


....as an aside.....I remember back in my teens when we would go find a secluded spot in the woods, or if we felt a bit risky, go do it in one of the dugouts in the local baseball field....cars were pretty much a last resort.

...-Americans just choose not to hide theirs, so much. :)

Which is pretty unfortunate. Once it's generally accepted by the public, then it spreads and once the boundaries of morality gets pushed to it's limits with out confrontation, then problems start to occur which in our case STD's AIDS etc... and so much more money gets spent in trying to combat the outcome and we have a general gigantic mess in our hands, which our kids will have to clean up...

Way to look on the bright side, addhils.

Way to look on the bright side, addhils.

I guess ignorance is bliss afterall. Better let Darwinism take over...

I understand what you're saying but i feel that there is a huge difference between the maturity levels of an 18 year old and 16 year old...not much but enough. There is an even larger difference between a 21 year old (myself) and a 16 year old.
I don't mean this to sound mean, but you only think that because you are that age. When you are 30+ you won't notice much maturity level difference between about 16-23. At least I don't.

It took longer then this reply to come up then i expected.
so you admit you were just trolling and when someone who is actually more mature and emotionally open than you finally delivered, you stepped all over it just like you had planned from the beginning? if so, you're a real amateur, dude!

In other words, why are you asking for advice if you're just going to disrespect it when it is given?

Which is pretty unfortunate. Once it's generally accepted by the public, then it spreads and once the boundaries of morality gets pushed to it's limits with out confrontation, then problems start to occur which in our case STD's AIDS etc... and so much more money gets spent in trying to combat the outcome and we have a general gigantic mess in our hands, which our kids will have to clean up...



It is so much better if everything is kept hidden.. and then pretend that there is no problem?