View Full Version : Can't convince my wife that I need another road bike - advice?
cantdrv55
08-21-07, 07:28 PM
For some reason, I'm unable to convince my wife that I need more toys. Maybe it's because we've been married 24 years and she's seen all my tricks. I am seriously hankerin' for a Ti or steel custom bike. If she doesn't let me have one soon, I'm going to withhold though that may not bother her.
How's about some advice?
damnpoor
08-21-07, 08:06 PM
Buy one anyway. You have a job, you make your own money, there's no reason you can't spend a little bit of it when you want to.
BlastRadius
08-21-07, 08:34 PM
Do you use your bike for a primary commute vehicle? Use the "need a backup" bike reason.
goaliedad30
08-21-07, 08:39 PM
New wife??
:rolleyes:
crtreedude
08-21-07, 08:44 PM
The Johnny Cash song comes to mind - the one about building a caddy one part at a time... Surely there is nothing wrong with upgrading...
mtnwalker
08-21-07, 09:50 PM
First of all, how many bikes do you already have? What kind are they?
The reason I asked is because this may have a bearing on why she doesn't want you to buy another one.
In my case I just bought my Ti bike Jul '07. Prior to that I just bought a mtn bike on Oct '06 and another roadie Feb '07. How did I get away with it? Well I've been lusting for a Ti bike since April this year but my wife, just like yours, will not let me buy another. I tried most angles, I'll buy used, It'll last "forever", I will not need to buy another bike again(for a while ;) ), I'll get the least expensive I can find. Nothing worked. That is, until I found a "guilt her to letting you buy one angle". I can't disclose what it is that made her so guilty but as soon as I confronted her with it and my wanting to buy a bike I was given the green light.:D
You will need to find your own "guilt angle". Its a powerful weapon. Use it wisely.
EDIT: BTW, timing is everything. Don't conjure something from the past out of nowhere. You will have to work it in slowy but surely.;)
cantdrv55
08-21-07, 10:05 PM
Hmmm, the guilt angle, hmmm.
btw, I only have one bike and it's a department store bike at that! The problem is, we have five cars for three drivers. At least, she thinks it's a problem.
Sounds like you need to establish a trusty EBF (emergency bike fund) to tap into when dire situations like this arise. I have had the emergency gear fund for my drums and music needs for several years now. However my EBF and EGF are both the same piece of plastic so I have to be careful.
If she doesn't let me have one soon, I'm going to withhold though that may not bother her.
That is a battle no man can win! Don't ask me how I know. :o
... Brad
cantdrv55
08-21-07, 10:18 PM
Buy one anyway. You have a job, you make your own money, there's no reason you can't spend a little bit of it when you want to.
I said I want a bike not a divorce!
Make a trade. Maybe she doesn't want you to have one because she feels like she is watching you spend "the household" money on something she wont benefit from.
24yrs. <-- = Make sure its of equal value, if you get a $4000.00 bike.. she should be expecting a $4000.00 something.. I dunno what she's into. Maybe get hers first, that way she can't say anything when its time to shell out for your end of the deal.
You could offer to give something up too. My wife would probably let me have all the bikes I wanted if I quit chewing.
I don't know, I've only been married for 6 years, but it seems to work in way that I always save a very small portion of my check for "fun" stuff. Takes forever, but eventually I'll have enough for something cool.
damnpoor
08-21-07, 10:36 PM
I said I want a bike not a divorce!
The way I see it you'll be riding it a lot, and that makes you more healthy. The more healthy you are the better you'll perform in the sack. Your wife can't argue with that.
Blue Jays
08-21-07, 10:40 PM
Purchase some sort of bauble for her to cushion the subsequent bicycle purchase.
cantdrv55
08-21-07, 10:40 PM
The way I see it you'll be riding it a lot, and that makes you more healthy. The more healthy you are the better you'll perform in the sack. Your wife can't argue with that.
I just read your response to my wife and she started laughing out loud. I don't quite know what to make of it.
hammern_frank
08-21-07, 10:44 PM
Make a trade. Maybe she doesn't want you to have one because she feels like she is watching you spend "the household" money on something she wont benefit from.
24yrs. <-- = Make sure its of equal value, if you get a $4000.00 bike.. she should be expecting a $4000.00 something.. I dunno what she's into. Maybe get hers first, that way she can't say anything when its time to shell out for your end of the deal.
You could offer to give something up too. My wife would probably let me have all the bikes I wanted if I quit chewing.
I don't know, I've only been married for 6 years, but it seems to work in way that I always save a very small portion of my check for "fun" stuff. Takes forever, but eventually I'll have enough for something cool.
This is wise and effective. My wife wanted a new ring, I wanted a new bike. Deal! No scheming, calculating none of that. You want this, I want that. (Handshake) You don't want anyone to try and back out.;)
mayukawa
08-21-07, 11:17 PM
So why do you NEED another road bike?
cantdrv55
08-21-07, 11:21 PM
Well, I don't really NEED another bike. I just WANT another bike.
mtnwalker
08-21-07, 11:24 PM
Hmmm, the guilt angle, hmmm.
btw, I only have one bike and it's a department store bike at that! The problem is, we have five cars for three drivers. At least, she thinks it's a problem.
OMG, with a department store bike you should have all the reason in buying a nice LBS type bike. You could trade up and ride more often and "give up" driving somehow.
I did this by commuting to work 5 days a week on a 22 mile r/t. This is actually how I rationalized my Fastback to my wife. I "needed" something light and fast for the commute to motivate myself. The mtn bike was just too much of a pig on the road(fact) and the Centurion is just too "old" and "heavy"(not really, ;).
I showed her how much money we can save on gas which results to less mileage on the car which leads to less money on maintenance and repair. At the same time I'm healthier, I've lost weight, and I can spend more time with her and the kids compared to if I have to go to the gym to work out after work.
Show her that this new bike is not just another toy. Its a new way of life.
cantdrv55
08-21-07, 11:57 PM
Damn, you guys are good.
Siu Blue Wind
08-21-07, 11:58 PM
"Sweetheart, we've been married for 24 years and I want to say that in all this time I've been very happy. My enjoyment has come as we built our house into a home, raised (x amount of) children, seen each other through good times and bad. I've promised to you when we got married that I would do my best to make a wonderful life for you. I've worked hard, and we saved. Look around you. Everything in this room - everything in this house, I had you in mind. I held back on things I wanted but not NEEDED because I wanted you to be comfy and warm in this house. I wanted to make sure you have the best I can give you, and I'm sure you feel the same.
(Name of loser friend) has been a prime example of what kind of husband/father not to be. I don't drink like he does, I don't play like he does (and we all know what that is, don't we, honey?) I don't go and spend money on frivolous things all the time. You don't see me at the card room gambling our savings away. I don't give our family heartache like he does. I've always wanted to be a perfect husband/father. I hope I have met that goal.
I've been trying to keep healthy so that you and I can see each other through our golden years. I hope you see that! I've been riding this old bike to keep my heart a pumpin' just for you! (this is where you wink at her). I am growing quite well with my regimen on this bike but you see, this bike is listed at WalMart as a toy! This bike certainly cannot give me the workout that I need, for it isn't designed that way. It was built up with lower grade materials and breaks easily. I was looking around and found this quality well made bike for (X amount of) dollars. WAIT honey! I know this is expensive but this lady on Bike Forums named Siu bought hers for (make up something) and mine is a lot cheaper!.
I figure it this way. In all the years we've been married, I have not wasted money on booze, cheap women and gambling. I've made sure that we had food on the table and sweaters on our backs. Now that we have our home complete, I'd like to invest in my health. So I can live longer. With you. :)"
cantdrv55
08-22-07, 12:05 AM
OMG, you are REALLY good!
mtnwalker
08-22-07, 12:13 AM
btw, I only have one bike and it's a department store bike at that!
I saw your pic on the Tour de Napa thread. Just what kind of bike is that anyway?
Hmmm, the guilt angle, hmmm.
btw, I only have one bike and it's a department store bike at that! The problem is, we have five cars for three drivers. At least, she thinks it's a problem.
Um, maybe she figures that you've already wasted too much money on cars? Unless the cars were her idea, I don't blame her.
BlastRadius
08-22-07, 12:37 AM
Show her that this new bike is not just another toy. Its a new way of life.
Amen brother!
cantdrv55
08-22-07, 12:50 AM
Um, maybe she figures that you've already wasted too much money on cars? Unless the cars were her idea, I don't blame her.
You're not helping. ;)
You're not helping. ;)
If it makes you feel any better, I'm trying to convince the wife that I need a fourth bike.
We don't own a car, however, so it is going a little easier.
how about just buying the bike first. then start a thread here on how to get your wife not to be pissed at you for buying another toy.
either way, you'll have a new bike. I don't see what the problem is, you obviously have the money, and a bike is definitly not something useless. I say go for it, just make sure you buy something nice for the mrs. while you're at it
how about just buying the bike first. then start a thread here on how to get your wife not to be pissed at you for buying another toy.
either way, you'll have a new bike. I don't see what the problem is, you obviously have the money, and a bike is definitly not something useless. I say go for it, just make sure you buy something nice for the mrs. while you're at it
Heh. It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission...unless you've already asked permission and been denied.
spingineer
08-22-07, 06:33 AM
Isn't this like convincing IT you need a new PC ... hey, wait a minute, that's what I'm trying to do.
It's a pity she isn't into cycling, then she's understand.
frogpound
08-22-07, 09:32 AM
I work for a high end audio equipment distribution company and I talk to guys all day long that have some how convinced their wife they really needed a $15K record player.
Most of the guys wives are most nervous about being replaced by the gear and I have a feeling this might be the same thing.
Best thing to do is to get 2 really nice bikes, one for you and one for her... and take her with you to pick out the bikes. If you can get her into it at all, you'll be fine. maybe sell one of the cars too!
Isn't this like convincing IT you need a new PC ... hey, wait a minute, that's what I'm trying to do.
yea but I'm pretty sure there's more paper work involved trying to get a new PC. Hell, it's takes a few weeks just to get a power extension outlet around here.
msincredible
08-22-07, 10:09 AM
Surely there is something expensive that your wife would really love to have, but has been holding back on getting. You should both get your new toys together, fair is fair.
Buying the bike first without discussion is bound to lead to some nights on the couch! :eek:
East Hill
08-22-07, 10:58 AM
"Sweetheart, we've been married for 24 years and I want to say that in all this time I've been very happy. My enjoyment has come as we built our house into a home, raised (x amount of) children, seen each other through good times and bad. I've promised to you when we got married that I would do my best to make a wonderful life for you. I've worked hard, and we saved. Look around you. Everything in this room - everything in this house, I had you in mind. I held back on things I wanted but not NEEDED because I wanted you to be comfy and warm in this house. I wanted to make sure you have the best I can give you, and I'm sure you feel the same.
(Name of loser friend) has been a prime example of what kind of husband/father not to be. I don't drink like he does, I don't play like he does (and we all know what that is, don't we, honey?) I don't go and spend money on frivolous things all the time. You don't see me at the card room gambling our savings away. I don't give our family heartache like he does. I've always wanted to be a perfect husband/father. I hope I have met that goal.
I've been trying to keep healthy so that you and I can see each other through our golden years. I hope you see that! I've been riding this old bike to keep my heart a pumpin' just for you! (this is where you wink at her). I am growing quite well with my regimen on this bike but you see, this bike is listed at WalMart as a toy! This bike certainly cannot give me the workout that I need, for it isn't designed that way. It was built up with lower grade materials and breaks easily. I was looking around and found this quality well made bike for (X amount of) dollars. WAIT honey! I know this is expensive but this lady on Bike Forums named Siu bought hers for (make up something) and mine is a lot cheaper!.
I figure it this way. In all the years we've been married, I have not wasted money on booze, cheap women and gambling. I've made sure that we had food on the table and sweaters on our backs. Now that we have our home complete, I'd like to invest in my health. So I can live longer. With you. :)"
You know, if you can't get a new bike with this script, you aren't EVER going to get a new bike.
:roflmao:
East Hill
HAMMER MAN
08-22-07, 11:17 AM
I use to barter for my bicycles/parts for years with my wife,I would buy her a nice gift and then buy what I wanted and i still felt guilty. Most of the time we would end up in arguments as she would always state you don't need another bike and we can't afford it. Funny, I have always made a great income. and no one in the family ever did without including cars, college and other things.
What I did so there would not be any arguments or problems I would just buy it without saying anything, new frame, tires, gruppo whatever. she has not really noticed or pretends she does not.
We each have our own checking accounts/savings and I always stated to her as long as everything is taken care of such as bills, emergencies,extra expendentures on how we live you really have nothing to say about it.
I used the health scenario for years, no drinking, smoking, slumming around, and stress as well as probably 1000 other reasons.
What Ended the debate/discussion is I just went out and bought what I wanted, when I wanted it and there was no discussion, if she got mad ok no big deal they will get over it.
Also I believe in a wife's mind they actually feel they are competing with what your toys /sports/hobbies/are, and this is the real problem and also you are not spending on them but on yourself.
BigSean
08-22-07, 11:35 AM
Well, I don't really NEED another bike. I just WANT another bike.
Actually you do. Those dept store bikes are very dangerous, and you health and safety are at risk.:eek:
mayukawa
08-22-07, 11:43 AM
Have you asked her why she doesn't approve of getting another bike? If it's financial reasons, you can always give her a cost analysis. I commute by bike just about every day, so each day that I ride, I'm not using 40 miles on the car. I typically get around 30mpg and at Bay Area's typical gas prices of say ($3/gal), that translates to [$3/gal]/[30mpg]=10 cents/mile, or $4/day. Let's say the new bike is $2000, so that means in 500 days of commuting I break even. So in a couple of years, I've gotten a "free" bike. Of course if you don't commute and just basically in for recreational riding, maybe you can sell a car or two (then you won't need to pay insurance or maintenance cost on those)?
I got a second job and paid for my new bike out of the money I made. Money did not come out of our joint account so she was o.k. with it. However, she did mention that any money that I earn no matter how many jobs I have is still "ours". Oh well.
I would just go out and buy the bike and tell her you were highly pressured by the salesman. Also tell her it was an end of year sale with absolutely no returns. Let her bit** for a few days........who cares, you'll be away from home riding your new bike!
sj_roadie
08-22-07, 10:53 PM
Some of these go buy it anyways people must not be married.... I'd rather ride a huffy from toys r' us than take the wrath of my wife after spending a few G's without clearing it with her.
spingineer
08-22-07, 11:07 PM
I did get a bonus at work ... do I need to shop for a bike?
msincredible
08-22-07, 11:09 PM
I did get a bonus at work ... do I need to shop for a bike?
Absolutely! :D
East Hill
08-23-07, 08:47 AM
I would just go out and buy the bike and tell her you were highly pressured by the salesman. Also tell her it was an end of year sale with absolutely no returns.
That tactic could seriously backfire on you :p .
East Hill
rschulze
08-23-07, 09:12 AM
Tell her the one you have doesn't match your eyes and makes your butt look fat.... she'll understand.
rschulze
08-23-07, 09:13 AM
Some of these go buy it anyways people must not be married.... I'd rather ride a huffy from toys r' us than take the wrath of my wife after spending a few G's without clearing it with her.
Never were more truthful words ever spoken, I'd ride that huffy with flat tires!
My wife just tells me if I add to the stable, one has to go, which seems fair enough. Presently, I have a mountain bike, two road bikes, and a commuter. I am interested in a full-suspension mountain bike, so I might have to ask for an increase in the size of the stable. Maybe if I clear out all the aquarium crap in the garage... But then I'm bringing home the rower from work.
mtnwalker
08-23-07, 12:52 PM
I just remembered a tactic I used to have my wife approve of my last bike purchase.
"Honey, I know this bike is fairly expensive. But would you rather have me look at those 2 doored, mid-engined, convertibles? This IS my midlife crisis vehicle."
And before that I kept showing her the $5k and $6k that I would very much love to purchase. But in reality I have been eyeing a bike that was 3 grand less. It took time, patience, and that guilt angle. But it worked.:D
BTW, never-ever buy that bike without her knowing or approval. Trust me on this.;)
SacLeisureRider
08-23-07, 01:51 PM
Okay, I didn't read all of this.... but alot of that is good stuff... BTW, there is nothing wrong with cheap, low quality department store bikes... Remember, Murray is your friend. :D
BTW, my road bike is actually a VERY old Gary Fisher Tassajara mountain bike with road tires and a cyclocomputer... Oh, and my lights for riding home from my night job. :)
SacLeisureRider
08-23-07, 01:52 PM
Never were more truthful words ever spoken, I'd ride that huffy with flat tires!
And, I'd ride that huffy with NO tires, heck, I'd even go without rims!
Tell her the one you have doesn't match your eyes and makes your butt look fat.... she'll understand.
This was the most brilliant so far.. On the same angle, blow a fuse when she gets ANOTHER pair of shoes..
- OR -
Just pay attention to the more rational and diplomatic people in this thread.
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