Foo - Match.com, Eharmony, Other....

Anybody ever join an online dating site? What was your experience?

Keep it clean kids.

55/Rad

Grandpops wanna join a dating service? ooooh...

p.s. I'm 23 and I lack experience Sorry for spamming :p ...

www.OKCupid.com

It's the MySpace of dating sites, and an excellent time waster due to their goldmine of online quizzes/questions.

And free.

I've had some success in the past. My current g/f I met through one.

They are the "regular" way most people meet nowadays, I think.

I have had a very good experience with Match and in fact found my partner there, although I also had some less-optimum encounters. I did not find as many good candidates on eHarmony, even with their greater cost and relationship matching methodology. Match apparently has more subscribers than eHarmony. The interesting thing I found was that the demand for men in their mid-40's, college educated, professionally employed and with the kids grown up, greatly exceeded the supply. There seems to be considerably more females in this demographic looking for partners then men in this demographic. I am sure there is a sociology thesis in there somewhere.

I actually met my wife on match.com, so I guess it worked out ok....

Just be prepared to accept a certain, um, "failure rate..." While it definitely helped to find a great match, one must be prepared to endure several awkward dinners or trips to the coffee shop.

A brief list:

1. Be prepared to accept that someone's match profile picture is quite possibly the best photo taken of them. EVER.

2. Any woman who actually describes herself as "fun," "laid-back," or "easy-going" is most frequently none of the above.

3. Always have an escape route on the first date. Day hikes, for instance, are a BAD idea.

4. Be brutally honest in your own profile, and I'm talking borderline self-deprication. It'll scare away the wrong ones and pique the interest of the right ones. Lay it all out there.

Good luck, Rad-- I think your tagline should be "Willing to wait 5 years to get me some Tete." :)

A good friend of mine from high school met her husband on eharmony. They are both economics professors (U of Chicago and Northwestern), lived near one another, had mutual friends, but didn't meet until using an online service.

I think my wife has a college friend who met her husband on match.com, but I'll have to verify that one.

eHarmony isn't any better than the rest. I was quite surprised by some of the people I got matched with, because in the real world they wouldn't have been anyone I would have chosen. Unfortunately even though you pay for the service, you still get the crazy kinds of folks you find on Craigslist.

I actually met my wife on match.com, so I guess it worked out ok....

Just be prepared to accept a certain, um, "failure rate..." While it definitely helped to find a great match, one must be prepared to endure several awkward dinners or trips to the coffee shop.

A brief list:

1. Be prepared to accept that someone's match profile picture is quite possibly the best photo taken of them. EVER.

2. Any woman who actually describes herself as "fun," "laid-back," or "easy-going" is most frequently none of the above.

3. Always have an escape route on the first date. Day hikes, for instance, are a BAD idea.

4. Be brutally honest in your own profile, and I'm talking borderline self-deprication. It'll scare away the wrong ones and pique the interest of the right ones. Lay it all out there.

Good luck, Rad-- I think your tagline should be "Willing to wait 5 years to get me some Tete." :)


Great line Dr.Pete, but he might want to be careful of any french girls as the meaning of tete might make that tagline offensive haha

Grandpops wanna join a dating service? ooooh...
Careful. You might end up in the corn field for a few days.

Thank you to DrPete - that's the kind of advice I was looking for. I love the new tagline...

55/Rad

Careful. You might end up in the corn field for a few days.

Thank you to DrPete - that's the kind of advice I was looking for. I love the new tagline...

55/Rad

Having dated a lot through online websites over past 5 years or so, I'll verify everything DrPete said, but let me also mention the other side of the coin for one of his warnings.

If a pic is bad, it just may be a bad pic, they may be much more attractive in real life (I've "taken that risk" and been pleasantly surprised).

one of the clients that works out my business was telling me today that she is a member of match.com and has met tons of people on that site. She's a very attractive 36 year old and she's currently seriously dating someone she met on the site, so I suppose it works for some folks.

I just take whatever cellmate they assign me.




pun intended

Having dated a lot through online websites over past 5 years or so, I'll verify everything DrPete said, but let me also mention the other side of the coin for one of his warnings.

If a pic is bad, it just may be a bad pic, they may be much more attractive in real life (I've "taken that risk" and been pleasantly surprised).

This is true... it kinda refers back to the "honesty is the best policy" crowd.

Great line Dr.Pete, but he might want to be careful of any french girls as the meaning of tete might make that tagline offensive haha

Hehe... no kidding. I was going more for the mispronounced version, but the authentic French version could be considered quite graphic. :eek:

Anybody ever join an online dating site? What was your experience?

Keep it clean kids.

55/Rad

I met my fiance through Match.com, and went on a great many dates through Match, Yahoo, and the dating site at the Onion. I was widowed at 53, and when I started dating again I heard people around work talking about the dating sites. I started using the Onion site, went on dates with a number of nice women, then tried out Yahoo and Match.

It worked well for me because me and the woman could get to know each other a bit through email before meeting. Needless to say I'm very happy with the end result.

Out of cyclingsingles.com, fitness-singles.com, OKCupid and Match, Match has the most to 'choose' from. I learned that 'athletic' and 'cycling' on Match can mean they manage to bike around the block a few times once a week. 'Average' body may very well mean 40 pounds overweight. Be wary of off colored photos - they're usually decades old. If they send a novel on their first contact, it means it was saved, copied, and sent to about a dozen others.

Those of us from the Women's forum and the 'internet dating' thread agree that bad spelling does make a bad impression. And pics of your naked torso, unless you're at the beach or poolside, got an 'ew'. As are pics of you and your ex girlfriend or wife.

I've only been on Match for about a month. It's just hard to meet people these days, I've kind of given up on the idea of 'running into the love of my life' and leaving it up to Fate. Especially cycling when everyone is in motion at about 20mph, heading in different directions...lol!

When I think of my own experiences and others I have spoken with, there are certain things both genders seem to lie or shade the truth about:

Age
Weight
Income
Marital status
Physical or psychological issues

This is not unique to the online dating world by any means. I was always honest in my online profile, but I was astonished as to how many were not. And if they could not write an articulate sentence or spell properly, they went to the bottom of the pile.

The other thing that surprised me about Yahoo and Match were the actual prostitutes with free profiles trolling for clients there, and the number of foreign nationals whose first email to me said they were in love with me just from my picture and profile, and could I send them $ 1000 USD so they could come visit me or marry me. Amazing.

The best thing about the Net dating sites, in my view, is how you can use search filters to find people that have a better chance of meeting your criteria. It is far easier to do this on the Net than in real life. If I was looking for someone within 25 miles, a college graduate, professionally employed and making at least $ 50K per year, there was no practical way to conduct this search other than via the Net dating sites.

My brother met his fiance on Match.com, they aren't married yet, but it looks promising.

Like Dr. Pete said, lot of people put old pictures up there so be prepared, and someone's description of themselves is more likely to be completely off base.

I see these sites as just another place to meet people, like an online bar, basically what Ebay is to your local paper's classifieds. In a bar, you don't really get to know people besides their fake personalities they put on for the night, and with the exception of knowing exactly what they look like, provided there's ample lighting, a bar is just like Match.com et al.

I just take whatever cellmate they assign me.




pun intended

I thought you loved ME!! :mad:

I tried the eHarmony thing for a bit. I think that I was not really looking for anything permanent at the time because I set my geographic preference as "the whole world". I spent a lot of time e-mailing and did get to meet with a few of my matches. These fellas were nice enough, but not right for me and not people that I'd want to put a lot of energy investing in a long distance relationship with. Shortly after I unsubscribed, I met my current bf through the cycling group I ride with. go figure.

I just take whatever cellmate they assign me.




pun intended



say that reminds me.....



my college room-mate's dad was an accountant or cfo or something and was sent to prison for embezzling from his company. my roomie told me about his dad's first day in the joint. they put him in a cell with some big bubba. bubba says to him, "see'n as you and me is gonna be livin together for a long time, that sorta makes us a family. now, in families, they's a husband and they's a wife. so, which one you want to be, the husband or the wife?"

my roomies dad thought about it for abit and decided 'no way am i being this dude's wife' so he says, "i...i...i'd like to be the husband." bubba said, "well that's just fine, now get on over here and suck yo wife's ***."

P&R might be a good place to start.

I don't have a clue, but best of luck!

My sister met her current financee (fiance) on Yahoo Personals. As well I met my current girlfriend of 2 1/2 years on Yahoo Personals. I recommend them highly. I was also on Match.com and wasn't too impressed. Some more words of advice. If you see a picture and they say they look a little different now, they look really different now and have a distorted self image of themselves now. Anyone who doesn't have a picture online doesn't mean they are ugly (current girlfriend is beautiful and she had no picture). As well I met many girls that were gorgeous but hid themselves online. Test people on what they tell you, I had many girls tell me they loved playing football but they were lying.

P.S. There's a lot of guys/girls looking for different things out there. You're gonna get a lot of replies or messages from young girls looking for that sugar daddy bs. Just an FYI. Girls get the old perverts.

Take a look here, lots of PDX participation: http://www.cyclingsingles.com/

Also this one: http://www.fitness-singles.com/

Speed dating is another option and I thought it was a lot of fun.

I've had great experiences with Match, came out of it with a couple short-term dating things, a couple of new friends, and many "OMG you won't believe this!" stories. :D I also have two friends and a niece who have married people they met through there. Another woman is now living with someone that she ignored the first time he winked at her because he had a mustache...he tried emailing her months later when he had new photos posted, and surprise, they fell in love after just a few dates. That was almost two years ago, now!

It's really what you make of it, I think. I tried to always keep in mind that there was a real person on the other end, too, and made sure I replied to everyone, even if it was just to say, "Something here doesn't click for me--best of luck with your search!" Karma, y'know.

Well, maybe I'm the only one to have had negative experiences, but I've tried a couple and found that there seems to be a lot of "contact" from other members until you pay for the "full" membership, then it all seems to disappear. Generally the people I contacted gave me nothing in the way of replies (would a 'thanks but no thanks' be so bad? RSVP even has a button that will automatically send out a form e-mail of that nature). Then there was the story circulating last year that both match.com and yahoo dating were being sued for putting up 'fake' profiles. And that's before I even start talking about the trolls... (the 55 year old men who get off on pretending to be 25 year old women).

Despite all this, I had another look at match.com recently (how stupid am I?). I got a message saying someone had sent me an e-mail, so I bought a 1 month subscription, figuring that even if they didn't suit me, I should at least give them the courtesy of a reply. Sure enough it was one of those 'Russian bride' scams -- even the time the email was sent was consistent with it coming from Moscow.

Consequently, I've decided I'm not going to worry about it now. I'll just move on to other things in life that are more rewarding, and just hope that if the right person comes along, I'll recognise them.

Never tried any dating sites, but I did meet my fiancee online via Tribe.net (which is just a general social networking site.) We were both on a forum for people who shave their heads, we ended up talking and flirting, and things progressed from there.

I actually met my wife on match.com, so I guess it worked out ok....

Just be prepared to accept a certain, um, "failure rate..." While it definitely helped to find a great match, one must be prepared to endure several awkward dinners or trips to the coffee shop.

A brief list:

1. Be prepared to accept that someone's match profile picture is quite possibly the best photo taken of them. EVER.

2. Any woman who actually describes herself as "fun," "laid-back," or "easy-going" is most frequently none of the above.

3. Always have an escape route on the first date. Day hikes, for instance, are a BAD idea.

4. Be brutally honest in your own profile, and I'm talking borderline self-deprication. It'll scare away the wrong ones and pique the interest of the right ones. Lay it all out there.

Good luck, Rad-- I think your tagline should be "Willing to wait 5 years to get me some Tete." :)

best post and punchline... EVER!

Never tried any dating sites, but I did meet my fiancee online via Tribe.net (which is just a general social networking site.) We were both on a forum for people who shave their heads, we ended up talking and flirting, and things progressed from there.

Lol, that's sweet.

Yes. I tried E- Harmony for one month. That was all it took to find what I was looking for.

Speed dating is another option and I thought it was a lot of fun.

so are supermarkets.

Two words - Regal Beagle.

I think your tagline should be "Willing to wait 5 years to get me some Tete." :)

So it's just like being married? (From what I've heard - I hope the horror story stereotypes aren't true!)

Out of cyclingsingles.com, fitness-singles.com, OKCupid and Match, Match has the most to 'choose' from. I learned that 'athletic' and 'cycling' on Match can mean they manage to bike around the block a few times once a week. 'Average' body may very well mean 40 pounds overweight. Be wary of off colored photos - they're usually decades old. If they send a novel on their first contact, it means it was saved, copied, and sent to about a dozen others.

Those of us from the Women's forum and the 'internet dating' thread agree that bad spelling does make a bad impression. And pics of your naked torso, unless you're at the beach or poolside, got an 'ew'. As are pics of you and your ex girlfriend or wife.

I've only been on Match for about a month. It's just hard to meet people these days, I've kind of given up on the idea of 'running into the love of my life' and leaving it up to Fate. Especially cycling when everyone is in motion at about 20mph, heading in different directions...lol!

I got the most consistent results from Match, and that's where my fiancée and I met. You're correct about people's notions of their interest in athletic activities. A typical first date for me would be meeting at a coffee shop followed by a walk. Often a woman who stated interest in "long walks" would be struggling after a block of walking. As for cycling I included it in my profile but I didn't put any special emphasis on it, since I figured I could determine whether my date had the potential for at least tolerating my cycling.

When people ask me my experiences with the dating sites in more detail I generally tell them that there isn't a whole lot of difference in the range of duplicity you get between dating on the internet sites and dating through any other sort of network. Whether one meets dates on the internet or from among a network of friends the same sorts of issues arise.

I liked my internet dating experience because it gave me a means of sorting through potential dates prior to asking them out. It also lowered the stress because even if the woman didn't want to be asked out by me in particular I knew the woman was available for dating, so I didn't have any compunctions about striking up communications and if the talk went anywhere asking her out (although my fiancée
was the initiator in our relationship... that's another good thing about Match. I found that if I put together a good profile I didn't always have to be the assertive one in the contact).

The one thing I'd advise anyone internet dating is to actually read your prospective date's profile, and strike up conversations based on that person's actual interests. I went on a lot of dates, many of them repeats, and the thing most often mentioned by the woman as the reason she said yes to the date was that I actually seemed to be responding to common interests in the profile and initial emails. This applies to women contacting men as well.

I found they are all pretty silly, and everybody plays this stupid game, where you could say anything you want on the web site, but when you meet, it's a completely different person. I did try matchmaker.com, match.com, and eharmony .... all negative.

Never used one!!!!

Though I did meet my wife online, our first meeting was a very public place.

Heathrow Airport!!!!!!

I met my wife the old fashioned way. I picked her pocket and then contacted her as if I had found her stolen wallet.

Did you take the cash out first?

Did you take the cash out first?

Hey, I'm a gentleman! There was enough in there for me to pay for dinner and a movie.

:D

I found they are all pretty silly, and everybody plays this stupid game, where you could say anything you want on the web site, but when you meet, it's a completely different person. I did try matchmaker.com, match.com, and eharmony .... all negative.

Of course that's true of any sort of dating. I never broke down the percentages, but I only had one date where I just wanted to get it over with and leave. Most dates were pleasant, but it was obvious there wasn't much prospect of anything more long term. After dozens of dates there were five women who were really good matches for me, but I had to finally settle on one relationship, and we've been together for a little over two years now.

I found with a bit of practice it was pretty easy to sort through the nonsense in the profiles, and I tended not to ask for a date until we'd exchanged enough emails that I got a feel for the woman's interests and personality.

I am reluctantly on a couple of them. I seem to get contacts who are much older or extremely younger than me. Did respond to the youngster and wrote him thank you, but he really needed to be someone his own age - he responded back that he still wanted to "snuggle". :eek: Plus I seem to attract these church going, non drinking types who like long walks on the beach, etc. I am, and always have been a member of the "black sheep" club, who refuses to grow up - so that lifestyle is not for me - and I think my profile rather projects that, yet still they contact me.

And "different". One little guy liked to flaminco dance, another guys profile oozed sex - hehe, he said he was good at this, best at that .... and every one of his statements in his profile had to do with sex and blondes. Just had one contact this past week - once again much older, odd profile - and his picture is only of his heavily eyebrowed eyes - my girlfriends screamed "Stalker" back to me.

So needless to say, I haven't really done much with any of the services.

I met my wife the old fashioned way. I picked her pocket and then contacted her as if I had found her stolen wallet.

here i was expecting you to write: arranged marriage; or you woke up in her dorm room but couldn't remember her name.

here i was expecting you to write: arranged marriage;

Hey, don't discount the arranged marriage route. I have coworkers who have successful marriages that were arranged.

This may not be an option for Rad at this point, though.

I am reluctantly on a couple of them. I seem to get contacts who are much older or extremely younger than me. Did respond to the youngster and wrote him thank you, but he really needed to be someone his own age - he responded back that he still wanted to "snuggle". :eek: Plus I seem to attract these church going, non drinking types who like long walks on the beach, etc. I am, and always have been a member of the "black sheep" club, who refuses to grow up - so that lifestyle is not for me - and I think my profile rather projects that, yet still they contact me.

And "different". One little guy liked to flaminco dance, another guys profile oozed sex - hehe, he said he was good at this, best at that .... and every one of his statements in his profile had to do with sex and blondes. Just had one contact this past week - once again much older, odd profile - and his picture is only of his heavily eyebrowed eyes - my girlfriends screamed "Stalker" back to me.

So needless to say, I haven't really done much with any of the services.

Yeah, it can be frustrating when the person making contact doesn't seem to have read the profile, and falls way out of age range, politics, value system, etc. And the eyeball thing is very creepy. When people do that sort of thing I often think they're trying to project witty and charming instead of the actual effect which is alarming and psychotic.

...

4. Be brutally honest in your own profile, and I'm talking borderline self-deprication. It'll scare away the wrong ones and pique the interest of the right ones. Lay it all out there.

:)


From Dr. Pete's match.com profile:

OCCUPATION: Well, shucks. I wouldn't call it an occupation, exactly. More like a hobby. I spose you could call me a repairman. I repair things. Things like bodies. Human bodies.

Hey, don't discount the arranged marriage route. I have coworkers who have successful marriages that were arranged.

This may not be an option for Rad at this point, though.

those danes. first they come up with blue cheese, then they throw arranged marriages into the mix. nutty.

Nutty blue cheese, sounds awesome. I love a nice salad with blue cheese crumbles, walnuts and a raspberry vinegarette dressing.