Foo - Foo Poetry Corner

You may not want birthday bass
A tradition that is really quite crass
But jshaar's ambition
Is to keep on a-fishin'
Til he kills every bass in Texass

I pooped in the john
And wiped my butt with Charmin.
Snuggles comforts me.


Haiku is totally valid. My poetry skills however, are not.

Please don't quit
though your poem was ****

Krink is krazy
Krink is nutz
To start this thread
He must be a putz

Limericks are easier...

So you want to speak Eboo?
The must needs language of foo
Feed big mufferzans
To dose monkiphants
What it means I haven't a clue

Snowy is a treasure
Eboo is too
How wonderful to have
Such women in Foo

Roses are red, King Termite is blue
A crown on his head, and mouth full of chew

Siu is my sis
Stacey is too
How cool are they?
My sisters of Foo

Sometimes foo is a sauna
Heat pours from the throats of us fauna
When punches abort
And tempers are short
Sing kumbayah with Shadiya or Donna

Am I.. supposed to be happy?
When all I ever wanted..
was a slice of pie.

Oh wait. This isn't the "post your emo songs" thread is it? :o

It's fun to say "Malistryx"
Perhaps the best of the foo nicks
"Taerom" can be tasty
An edible pastie
(But sometimes quite nasty
A doughy meat pastie)
Mal should opt for a taste of "x"

Coffee so black and hot
I drink you every day
nourishing you are not
but my morning you do make

edit: Ok, I know it sucks, but I'm not a poet.

Mal should opt for a taste of "x":eek:

How about tongue twisters?


A tutor who tooted the flute
tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to their tutor:
"Is it harder to toot,
Or to tutor two tooters to toot?"

The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick

What noise annoys an oyster?
The noise that annoys an oyster
is a noise that knows no oyster.

There once was a guy on a bike
and riding he really did like
He likes to ride far
and hates to drive cars
and he's glad that he isn't named Mike
;)

I, am a ship without a name,
A dog without a bone
A wanderer with no home

And I chose this life for me

And I, am as scary as I seem
As evil as you think
As cruel as you claim

But not the way you think

All I need, is somewhere safe and warm
A place to call my home
Someone to keep and hold

That's all I ever needed

I, am a ship without a name,
A dog without a bone
A wanderer with no home

And I chose this life for me

And I, am as scary as I seem
As evil as you think
As cruel as you claim

But not the way you think

All I need, is somewhere safe and warm
A place to call my home
Someone to keep and hold

That's all I ever needed


No fair being serious! :p

Percocet and Valium for breakfast
cuz I made my SI joint go whackest
hospital yesterday
couch today
but when I recover I'm happiest!

Percocet and Valium for breakfast
cuz I made my SI joint go whackest
hospital yesterday
couch today
but when I recover I'm happiest!

percocet and valium,
would you share?
Won't take much
for me not to care

percocet and valium,
would you share?
Won't take much
for me not to care

I can not share
nor do I dare
without those drugs
I'd be eatin' slugs

I can not share
nor do I dare
without those drugs
I'd be eatin' slugs

eating slugs we do not want
take your drugs you must
well you must get soon
and can ride again in the dust

haikus are easy
but sometimes they don't make sense
refridgerator

roses are red
violets are blue
I like peanut butter
Can you skate?

Foo, my friends, a remarkable land
Classy women like Donnamb are at hand
And if you need any information
See Eboo at the kiosk station
Do you need a tickle in your funny bone?
See jsharr, but don't go alone
How about a freaky kid?
Pheard will show you a brand new skid
Want to meet a woman full of love
Try Siu Blue Wind, peaceful as a dove
Need some logic, a sensible thought
USAZorro's your man, witless, he's not
Time to meet careless, healthy and free
Shadiyah brings wonderful paradigms to see
Wanna race a woman of substance?
Try Vega or BDG, depending on circumstance
Wanna a see a great sword show?
SingingSabre is the way to go
Need to hear some rapier wit?
Stacey will rip one and not give a **it!
Yes, my friend, Foo is grand
Wonderful cool cats are all at hand!

No fair being serious! :p

Serious? That's light-hearted for anything I write:p

You may not want birthday bass
A tradition that is really quite crass
But jshaar's ambition
Is to keep on a-fishin'
Til he kills every bass in Texass

Try to beat this, and yes i did write it:D: Where are the lucky numbers?.

About a thousand years something happened across the sand
The sahara dessert where death strikes so quick
Walk 5 miles there and that will do the trick
No water or food you would die sick

This person took the wrong direction
Many minutes passed the sun was getting hot
Seeing bodies and birds that started to rot
Walked in circles as they died so slowly

Had a bag had some water where is the compass
Feel the heat the body is getting beat by the world again
Try to walk across this land filled with sand
Seen a face seen a human they smiled at you

You said "help me please help now save me"
Then the person just walked away and dissapeared
This is something you knew and now have feared
Seen a tree, seen a river where did it go?

Dehydration playes games on you as you know
With a horse that is walking very slow right now
The animal is done and drops to the heated ground
You dread to hear the sound and the cries it made

Say goodbye tear in your eye
Where is the villege i needed to visit to trade for food?
Read the map, see the words see the lines what happened?
Just made a trip to trade this meat away that the person killed today

Had a farm had a wife even young little children
Wonders again, how can this be my life cannot just end
The wind that howls, sand that flies in the sky
No foot steps at all and you cant think of why?

To read the map so wrong and the wife is worried so long
No search party no news on the Tv becuase it does not exist
So many things that for now i cannot list
This person will die and never be seen again

Once again once again, it goes on
Falls to his knee's and says goodbye
Reality is a penalty in some cases
To live near the sand and the sea

Family cries family mourns someone found him
They made the wrong turn just like he did
Difference is difference is, it was in the night
When the cold is right here and blinds your sight

Brought the body to the town showed to everyone around
By horse back, to show the family that his body is right here right now
They feel the pain, and the shame of a loss in the town
He had a farm, had the meat and also growed wheat

For the bread they made that was so pure
That was so delicous for sure
So for now on and for every there is a sign
That this is the way to the desert, here is his name you could be next in line

Here's one:


You pace the room and think about her
You need to sleep and your eyes pain
But you're afraid to dream about her,
She's always gone with the rain

You sit in bed and look out the window
Just her thought creates a daze
Streetlamps blurred, and then you know
You can see the Early Morning Haze

Your head drops onto the pillow,
Eyes close, you drift off to sleep
Hate to go because you don't know
Where in the world she could be

She comes in, you look up and smile
You haven't slept in four long days
Just say "Honey, it's been a while"
Against the Early Morning Haze

You can never tell what she's thinking
She looks at you, and thinks for a while
She frowns, and your heart is sinking
See her eyes, deep as any Nile

She shuts her eyes, and starts to speak
You're trembling, afraid of what she'll say
She just got back, been gone a week
She comes and goes with the Haze

She says her plane leaves tomorrow
And she says, "You'll forget me in days",
She cries as she stares out the window,
But she says things must be this way

She says shes as free as a bird now,
She's only in one place for days
And when she leaves here tomorrow,
She'll go through the Early Morning Haze

A few years after, dig out her picture
She never came back after that night
Sit on the floor and remember her
Don't think, just turn out the light

Take the top off that little container
You can't think straight, you're in a daze
You can't take the pain, you still remember
Take the easy way out, feed the Haze
Actually a song I wrote around 3 in the morning once.[/SIZE]

Here's one:

You pace the room and think about herYou need to sleep and your eyes painBut you're afraid to dream about her,She's always gone with the rain

You sit in bed and look out the window
Just her thought creates a daze
Streetlamps blurred, and then you know
You can see the Early Morning Haze
Your head drops onto the pillow,Eyes close, you drift off to sleepHate to go because you don't knowWhere in the world she could be
She comes in, you look up and smileYou haven't slept in four long daysJust say "Honey, it's been a while"Against the Early Morning Haze
You can never tell what she's thinkingShe looks at you, and thinks for a whileShe frowns, and your heart is sinkingSee her eyes, deep as any Nile
She shuts her eyes, and starts to speakYou're trembling, afraid of what she'll sayShe just got back, been gone a weekShe comes and goes with the Haze
She says her plane leaves tomorrowAnd she says, "You'll forget me in days",She cries as she stares out the window,But she says things must be this way

She says shes as free as a bird now,
She's only in one place for days
And when she leaves here tomorrow,
She'll go through the Early Morning Haze

A few years after, dig out her pictureShe never came back after that nightSit on the floor and remember herDon't think, just turn out the light
Take the top off that little containerYou can't think straight, you're in a dazeYou can't take the pain, you still rememberTake the easy way out, feed the Haze

Actually a song I wrote around 3 in the morning once.


Thats pretty dam good, you are giving the poem i just wrote a run for my money there:D.

Thats pretty dam good, you are giving the poem i just wrote a run for my money there:D.

Thanks, man. Yours was incredible.:)

In my prison cell I sit,
with my britches...

Oh never mind. :p

The Story Of Mad Dog Shearer


There once was a dog which did not seem to like me
for every time we met he tried to bite me
until one day i'd had enough and showed him who was really tough
and now that we have settled our differences
we should have no more of these instances

First posted about a month or so. And yes, I wrote this. (Dirty job, but somebody had to do it.)

RED ROAD-RASH
By bikingshearer
(with apoligies to Theodore Geisel)

Pheard said:

Would you like a red road-rash
The kind that looks like corned beef hash?
It's every serious cyclist's duty
To hit the deck and scrape their booty.

You can do it here or there,
You can do it anywhere.
Any bump or thump or crash
Can leave a lovely red road-rash!

To which I replied:

I do not want my ride to halt,
I do not want to kiss asphalt.
I do not want to break my bike-ra,
I do not want to tear my lycra.

I do not want to bounce my noggin
And turn my thoughts all dim and foggin'.
I know to you it might sound wierd,
But pain's no fun for me, dear Pheard.

I do not want one here or there,
I do not want one anywhere.
I will not bump or thump or crash,
I would not like a red road-rash.

Thanks, man. Yours was incredible.:)

Thank you, i been writing for some time and i think your poem/song you have on here is one of the best i have read. You should join a poetry site or group if you havent yet:).

First posted about a month or so. And yes, I wrote this. (Dirty job, but somebody had to do it.)

RED ROAD-RASH
By bikingshearer
(with apoligies to Theodore Geisel)

Pheard said:

Would you like a red road-rash
The kind that looks like corned beef hash?
It's every serious cyclist's duty
To hit the deck and scrape their booty.

You can do it here or there,
You can do it anywhere.
Any bump or thump or crash
Can leave a lovely red road-rash!

To which I replied:

I do not want my ride to halt,
I do not want to kiss asphalt.
I do not want to break my bike-ra,
I do not want to tear my lycra.

I do not want to bounce my noggin
And turn my thoughts all dim and foggin'.
I know to you it might sound wierd,
But pain's no fun for me, dear Pheard.

I do not want one here or there,
I do not want one anywhere.
I will not bump or thump or crash,
I would not like a red road-rash.

That was comical good job guys LOL.

Nice to come home
And read all the poems
And find that the thread
Still isn't dead
Not killed by a mod
Or struck down by God
Makes me think deep
Before I sleepy sleep

There once was a guy on a bike
and riding he really did like
He likes to ride far
and hates to drive cars
and he's glad that he isn't named Mike
;)


Consider the magic of Stormcrowe
Where did he make all those pounds go?
Sure babies get taller
But a man to get smaller?
It's surely easier to grow than ungrow!

Consider the magic of Stormcrowe
Where did he make all those pounds go?
Sure babies get taller
But a man to get smaller?
It's surely easier to grow than ungrow!

Thats a funny one, but he did something most people dont have the drive to do:).

Thats a funny one, but he did something most people dont have the drive to do:).

What he did was flipping amazing! I bow down to Tom, I really do.

I do have a theory where the weight went. I think it was all added on to some folks that don't ride bikes or do any other exercise. Now Tom looks great and they don't. It's all a matter of keeping the world in balance.

Thank you, i been writing for some time and i think your poem/song you have on here is one of the best i have read. You should join a poetry site or group if you havent yet:).

I use a site called GuitarNoise that has a songwriter's group attached to it.

You poem, now that I read it again, reminds me a lot of the Eagle's Hotel California. Very cool

What he did was flipping amazing! I bow down to Tom, I really do.

I do have a theory where the weight went. I think it was all added on to some folks that don't ride bikes or do any other exercise. Now Tom looks great and they don't. It's all a matter of keeping the world in balance.

I agree 100% with ya, he did something great and people are getting fat.

I agree 100% with ya, he did something great and people are getting fat.

Tom is an inspiration. It's great that he was able to do what he did.

There once was a couple named Kelley
Found dead, stuck belly to belly
In all of their haste, they had grabbed up the paste
Instead of petroleum jelly :eek:

I do have a theory where the weight went. I think it was all added on to some folks that don't ride bikes or do any other exercise. Now Tom looks great and they don't. It's all a matter of keeping the world in balance.

I think Pammy solved
The Tom Stormcrowe riddle
Cause thirty of his pounds
Have landed in my middle

Here' a classic:

I get up, and nothing gets me down.
You got it tough. Ive seen the toughest around.
And I know, baby, just how you feel.
Youve got to roll with the punches to get to whats real
Oh cant you see me standing here,
Ive got my back against the record machine
I aint the worst that youve seen.
Oh cant you see what I mean ?





:p

Seriously...

A charm invests a face
Imperfectly beheld.
The lady dare not lift her veil
For fear it be dispelled.

But peers beyond her mesh,
And wishes, and denies,
'Lest interview annul a want
That image satisfies.