Foo - Rude Awakening in the Online Dating Thing

So I ventured out and responded to an online ad....

Which led to a back and forth of emails, all of which was interesting and stimulating. Finally, we agreed to meet for coffee.

5 minutes in and the gal stands up and says she's leaving. Thanks but I'm not right for her. Seems she has an intuition for these things (who doesn't) and doesn't want to waste my time.

Good for her. While at first I felt a bit hurt, I can't help but respect someone who knows what she wants - even if its not me.

I guess I have some catching up to do....

55/Rad

Did you show her your guads? That's pretty much step one for me when I introduce myself to ladies.

You didn't start naming off all your steeds did you?

Please tell me your opener wasn't:
"It rubs the lotion in the skin, or else it gets the hose again"

cause trust me, I've tried it, and it never works out.

5 minutes?! that IS rude, no question about it. i went on lots of online dates and met lots of women. even when it was clear that we weren't right for each other, we at least finished the drink/coffee/meal first and parted ways politely.

wow, cant feel good to get shut down but on the other hand there is more to people then what you can see of them in 5 minutes.
If she doesnt get that by now, no wonder why she's alone.

Hey, at least she was actually female. Consider yourself ahead of the game.

this is really reassuring

Maybe she was rehearsing for MTv's Next

Not that I watch the show or anything ..

You should've told her you didn't want to be her 5th husband anyways. With an attitude while flicking your hair back.

Not that I watch the show or anything ..

just the fact that you know the name of it sends alarm bells ringing. :eek:

you sure you weren't being Punk'd?

gee...you look okay to me...i'd give you at least 15 mins....LOL

My sister told me she did something like this a few months ago. I honestly couldnt believe she could be so rude. Generally she is a very nice person, but I think the feeling of anonymity and general lack of politeness on the internet may have crossed over into the date she signed up for using it.

Edit: In case you were wondering, her reason for leaving was that the guy was talking about what he liked in relationships and it creeped her out.

Edit: In case you were wondering, her reason for leaving was that the guy was talking about what he liked in relationships and it creeped her out.

Lesson learned: Never discuss diapers and maple syrup at the first meeting.

well...that is a little much for the first date. NEVER go into what you like in relationships or anything like that...you're just getting to know each other. It would give me the willies...but i wouldn't just jump up and leave. I'd just find a way to let him know somehow...it's just not appropriate.

You have a good outlook. You are right that it is a good thing of her to make that realization up front and not waste both of your times.

I have that situation happen to me before, and I've initiated that situation myself before.

I still think you should ram your shopping cart into other women's carts at the grocery store.

I still think you should ram your shopping cart into other women's carts at the grocery store.

Is "shopping cart" innuendo?

Is "shopping cart" innuendo?

That's no innuendo. That's a great way to meet women - as long as you don't make it look intentional, or do it repeatedly to different women on the same shopping trip. I've heard the produce section is the best place to do this.

That's no innuendo. That's a great way to meet women - as long as you don't make it look intentional, or do it repeatedly to different women on the same shopping trip. I've heard the produce section is the best place to do this.

As usual the straight-laced masked man fails to grasp I was joking. :rolleyes::D

I still think you should ram your shopping cart into other women's carts at the grocery store.

I wasn't aware this was a pickup approach. I have done this the last 2 times I went grocery shopping. Both times it was a mistake. Both times the girl was not someone I would be attracted to. Both times I said sorry. Both time I got an eat-**** look and no reply. Made me want to retract my apologies.

Back to B-Rad, dude that girl seems like a big flake. There are alot of flakes in online dating, mixed in with the "normal" ones like you and me. They are flakes (and single) because they are extremely picky to the point of being neurotic, and this particular gal probably couldn't manage more than 5 minutes of genuine human contact before flipping out the way she did. Move to the next one.

That's no innuendo. That's a great way to meet women - as long as you don't make it look intentional, or do it repeatedly to different women on the same shopping trip. I've heard the produce section is the best place to do this.

Preferably right next to the cucumbers and zucchini, while audibly muttering "All these things are so damned small! Where's the REAL produce?"

5 minutes does seem a bit short. However, as you state, she must know what she wants. She may have just saved you a few weeks/months of pain.

Get back out there, Rad. You'll find her.

... Brad

That's no innuendo. That's a great way to meet women - as long as you don't make it look intentional, or do it repeatedly to different women on the same shopping trip. I've heard the produce section is the best place to do this.

my roommates in college used to push each other into women at bars to try to pick them up. i gotta hand it to them though, it actually did work sometimes.

55/Rad - Online dating in general is very frustrating. I tried it twice, including signing up for a fitness/singles service and the "advice" I was given was that you have to go on 10 "face-to-face" dates to find even one potential. Those are the so-called odds. I met a few nice men and never left any date after 5 minutes (unless you were exposing yourself, drunk or dropping the "f" bomb in every sentence, that is just plain RUDE of her to do. Anyone deservers at least 20-30 minutes over a cup of coffee!). But I did not find a potential partner as I just lost interest after a particularly foul experience.

I met a man for dinner who had yellow teeth (really, really yellow as if he had eaten a bag of Cheetos with mustard), had a broken toe and put his foot up on the table to show me in the middle of dinner, was loud, rude to the waitress and didn't ask me one single question for the entire hour I suffered through listening to him talk about his dirt bikes and excessive debt. I still stayed through dinner. I was in shock and, hey, it provided me with the "this-one-date-I-had-was-sooooooo-bad" story. :D

Agreed that she knew what she wanted, but still this is just plain rude and impolite. Let me tell you what I have put up with on a date:

After exchanging some emails back and forth, just like Rad did, we decided to meet up. I drove to her place almost 35 miles away after dinner to get coffee and chat. She shows up 10 minutes late, then sits in her car talking on phone for another 10 minutes before opening the door and coming greeting me. All this time, I am just standing outside of her car. Tell me how that feels. I gave her benefit of doubt and decided not to say anything.

Over coffee, she would not give me a chance to open my mouth, kept constantly blabbering about what she likes or dislikes. By the end, it became clear that I was talking to a very controlling woman who had nothing to offer and everything to demand from her man. I still did not just get up and leave. Of course I don't expect anyone to be as much patient as I am, but 5 minutes? Come on!

I would like to talk more about my dating experience in this country, but don't want to hijack this thread. Perhaps another thread :).

Rad: I am sorry this happened to you. No one should be treated like this on a date.

ME: Thats funny we posted similar experience at the same time. lol.

While it's nice for her to know what she wants and for her to trust her "intuitions," I think there's also such thing as tact and given the fact that both parties took the time to get ready and travel to the coffee shop in the first place, that an adequate conversation to get to know someone new should have at least be considered. Oh well, her loss.

Seems like you find things/people when you aren't really looking. But I have faith that you'll do just fine, 55/Rad. Press on!

And if it's any consolation, if I'm ever in the area I'll buy you coffee and sit down and let you talk at me for an hour!!

55/Rad - Online dating in general is very frustrating. I tried it twice, including signing up for a fitness/singles service and the "advice" I was given was that you have to go on 10 "face-to-face" dates to find even one potential. Those are the so-called odds. I met a few nice men and never left any date after 5 minutes (unless you were exposing yourself, drunk or dropping the "f" bomb in every sentence, that is just plain RUDE of her to do. Anyone deservers at least 20-30 minutes over a cup of coffee!). But I did not find a potential partner as I just lost interest after a particularly foul experience.

I met a man for dinner who had yellow teeth (really, really yellow as if he had eaten a bag of Cheetos with mustard), had a broken toe and put his foot up on the table to show me in the middle of dinner, was loud, rude to the waitress and didn't ask me one single question for the entire hour I suffered through listening to him talk about his dirt bikes and excessive debt. I still stayed through dinner. I was in shock and, hey, it provided me with the "this-one-date-I-had-was-sooooooo-bad" story. :D

When I read stories like this about the dating scene, I have to laugh, even though I imagine it wasn't much fun for you at the time. Thanks for sharing that.

When I read stories like this about the dating scene, I have to laugh, even though I imagine it wasn't much fun for you at the time. Thanks for sharing that.

You know, looking back, I never was angered or felt put-out by it, just floored that a man who behaved like that thought he could get a woman (and who knows, maybe he found one that digs Cheetos :p) I'll never get that evening back, but the food at the restaurant was good.

While women actually do the choosing...I think she was full of ****.


Sometimes I like to go back and conquer those types of women, just because "I'm not the right one for them".

The look on their face when they finally fall for me and I move on is priceless.:D



Good for her. While at first I felt a bit hurt, I can't help but respect someone who knows what she wants - even if its not me.

I guess I have some catching up to do....

55/Rad

sounds like a test. she wants you to pursue her.

You're better off, Rad. If she can make up her mind like that in 5 minutes, it sounds like she prefers to stay in the shallow end of the pool. The shallow end gets real boring after about 6 minutes.

ME: Thats funny we posted similar experience at the same time. lol.

I bet it's quite common actually. It's so hard to meet people when you're over 30. I work all day, either ride or go to the gym in the morning (very early) or after work. On the weekends I ride and rarely go to bars (unless meeting friends). So, I don't meet men unless they are on a bike (which is a great way to meet people that I have something in common with). However, the majority of cyclists that I meet are married (and I don't play that game with the ones looking to play it), so even that provides such a small pool of eligible, single men over the age of 35. So, when I signed up for online dating, I honestly hoped to find a larger pool of quality men. But the jerks, weirdoes, psychos and idiots (male and female) also swim in the internet dating pool (very easily too, might I add), so you are going to run into a few along the way...it's inevitable.

She had the trotts.

It's so hard to meet people when you're over 30.



Exactly the opposite for me.


I never really started to attract women until I gained some grey, lost some teeth, gained some weight, and passed the 30 mark.:eek:



Go figure.

It's all in the attitude...

I've found that the anonymity of the internet has some interesting social implications. One thing you see online, like here and P&R is that people are much more rude and obnoxious than they'd be in real life. Unfortunately, a lot of debutantes can't separate the distinction between fantasy and real-life and carry over this princess attitude into real encountres. So they treat real people like an online-profile, they read you over quickly, machine-gun fire the 20-questions test at you while they check off points, then sum you up and toss you aside.

What I've found to work really well is to pre-screen these characters FIRST. It's all in the attitude. You are not searching for them, they are searching for YOU! Remember, it's YOU who's doing them a favor by responding to their ad, it's YOU who's offering them their hopes and dreams. It's YOU who's allowing them the honour of meeting you. So watch out for the attitude, you are #1. Be sure of yourself, be beyond confident of yourself, be cocky. Be funny, be challenging and be prepared to walk away in 4-minutes and 59-seconds. :p

:roflmao:
She had the trotts.

On the other hand...

My Wife and I both knew in 5 minutes we were made for each other. I met her on E-Harmony. only one short phone call before meeting and a couple short emails. I was selling my place and was moved in with her by the end of the week. Our first date was Sat. for lunch, then drinks. Second date at a really romantic hot restaurant on Tuesday. Thursday was "the first time" and Friday, I never went back to my place. We were married 5 months later on the beach at Anna Maria Island at sunset. My Wife is the best thing to ever happen to me.

I bet it's quite common actually. It's so hard to meet people when you're over 30. I work all day, either ride or go to the gym in the morning (very early) or after work. On the weekends I ride and rarely go to bars (unless meeting friends). So, I don't meet men unless they are on a bike (which is a great way to meet people that I have something in common with). However, the majority of cyclists that I meet are married (and I don't play that game with the ones looking to play it), so even that provides such a small pool of eligible, single men over the age of 35. So, when I signed up for online dating, I honestly hoped to find a larger pool of quality men. But the jerks, weirdoes, psychos and idiots (male and female) also swim in the internet dating pool (very easily too, might I add), so you are going to run into a few along the way...it's inevitable.
Thanks for the insight and the story about the guy with the teeth.

I'll be in LA this weekend....;)

Rad - When I move to Oregon, I'll take you out to dinner and a movie.

Maybe even cuddle afterwards.

Rad - When I move to Oregon, I'll take you out to dinner and a movie.

Maybe even cuddle afterwards.
Got it. Thanks.

I won't spoon however. Well.....maybe.

Dibbs on inner spoon!

Thanks for the insight and the story about the guy with the teeth.

I'll be in LA this weekend....;)

Look at you...smooth operator. :D

On the other hand...

My Wife and I both knew in 5 minutes we were made for each other. I met her on E-Harmony. only one short phone call before meeting and a couple short emails. I was selling my place and was moved in with her by the end of the week. Our first date was Sat. for lunch, then drinks. Second date at a really romantic hot restaurant on Tuesday. Thursday was "the first time" and Friday, I never went back to my place. We were married 5 months later on the beach at Anna Maria Island at sunset. My Wife is the best thing to ever happen to me.

*A little tear appeared in the corner of my eye* :)

Dibbs on inner spoon!

damn, missed out again!

On the other hand...

My Wife and I both knew in 5 minutes we were made for each other. I met her on E-Harmony. only one short phone call before meeting and a couple short emails. I was selling my place and was moved in with her by the end of the week. Our first date was Sat. for lunch, then drinks. Second date at a really romantic hot restaurant on Tuesday. Thursday was "the first time" and Friday, I never went back to my place. We were married 5 months later on the beach at Anna Maria Island at sunset. My Wife is the best thing to ever happen to me.

Maybe that's what is about to happen to me.

PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

*hangs self*

Look at you...smooth operator. :D

Apparently not smooth enough.....:)

I think the thing that got me in this mornings event was the fact that it happenned on my very first attempt. And honestly, it didn't bother me as much as I figured it might. In fact, it kind of feels good to be able to "take it" and move on, without feeling wounded.

Off to ride....

55/Rad

Agreed that she knew what she wanted, but still this is just plain rude and impolite. Let me tell you what I have put up with on a date:

After exchanging some emails back and forth, just like Rad did, we decided to meet up. I drove to her place almost 35 miles away after dinner to get coffee and chat. She shows up 10 minutes late, then sits in her car talking on phone for another 10 minutes before opening the door and coming greeting me. All this time, I am just standing outside of her car. Tell me how that feels. I gave her benefit of doubt and decided not to say anything.

Over coffee, she would not give me a chance to open my mouth, kept constantly blabbering about what she likes or dislikes. By the end, it became clear that I was talking to a very controlling woman who had nothing to offer and everything to demand from her man. I still did not just get up and leave. Of course I don't expect anyone to be as much patient as I am, but 5 minutes? Come on!

I would like to talk more about my dating experience in this country, but don't want to hijack this thread. Perhaps another thread :).

Rad: I am sorry this happened to you. No one should be treated like this on a date.

that must of feel awful to wait by her window for ten minutes while she chats!!!!!!!!!! I would of been very embaressed!

share your stories!!! please!
where is cycle 17? he had a good one about going for dinner with this one girl who all she talked about was changing her son's poopy diapers!

I've been with my wife for 21 years, 14 married. I have told her I'd rather her kill me than divorce me (not that either is a real option) but, hearing stories like these, I might even buy her the gun and bullets if necessary.:p