Foo - Stolen lunch, 12 hour shift :(

frraack i'm on a 12 hour shift (corporate office environment) and I go to the communal refrigerator to obtain my skillfully crafted foodstuffs and wha?! all my lunch/snacks is gone! :mad: been here since 6 am, all dizzy/weak and stuff,, only 3 more hours to go!!!

Bastages. Order some pizza. Or quail. Or quailjerky. Or quailjerky pie.

fix something extremely yucky, but somehow package it up so that it looks great...when it disappears, put a note on the fridge telling the stupid ******* who took it "hope you enjoyed my lunch for the second time".

no need to be that passive aggressive. just put your lunch in a padded bear trap and then throttle the next jerk who tries to take it.
unless they're like a bobcat or bear that gnaws its foot off to escape

i agree, go for the most noxious creation you can think of, prepared to look yummy. do this only after bringing real yummy stuff for days. after that, only bring stuff that does not need refrigeration and keep it with you. payback is hell

fix something extremely yucky, but somehow package it up so that it looks great...when it disappears, put a note on the fridge telling the stupid ******* who took it "hope you enjoyed my lunch for the second time".
Nahh.... Just get a couple of those cellulose kitchen sponges, cut them into squares, soak 'em in chocolate syrup, and put in the fridge. Looks just like brownies. The taste is good enough to fool many people, though they are a bit chewy....

Then there's the old grade school trick. Real brownies or choc chip cookies. Use Ex Lax.

start writing "this lunch is a fridgebomb" on your lunch.

Nahh.... Just get a couple of those cellulose kitchen sponges, cut them into squares, soak 'em in chocolate syrup, and put in the fridge. Looks just like brownies. The taste is good enough to fool many people, though they are a bit chewy....

Then there's the old grade school trick. Real brownies or choc chip cookies. Use Ex Lax.

Yup, ExLax brownies. Watch for the bastige runing for the loo with his/her arse cheeks puckerd and there's the culprit. :D

When they come out of the loo confront them,

Even more entertaining, try Syrup of Ipacac (sp) works faster and hard to hide. :)

Large doses of arsenic.

Just hide Explody Pup in your lunch bag - he will most likely eat the offender...

:lol:Yep, that happened to me on the same day my knee started being painful and my car broke down. It's a pretty lousy thing to do

Put Viagra in it.

My friend had a similar problem, so he got a few extra foldy boxes you get for asian take-out, then went to work. He created a masterful work of culinary art containing bean sprouts, rice, vegetables and chunky/gravy dog food. It actually looked quite yummy. He then borrowed an idea from one of those college whatever movies from the late 90s or early 2ks (can't remember which, they made something nasty) and took a picture of himself scooping dog food into a pan full of veggies. He taped it to the cellophane-wrapped fortune cookie and put that at the bottom of the bag with a bunch of other stuff like soy sauce and sweet/sour packets, chopsticks and the whole nine yards.

He caught the offender when he heard uncontrollable vomiting noises from a few aisles over, but the a-hole didn't swipe it until two or three days after the trap had been set.

And then of course there is habaneros.

I have had relatives (who have not had anything spicier than pot roast) think the habaneros in my fridge were tiny bell peppers... They had a slight surprise.

Oh what a ******, stealing someone's lunch, thats so low.

Ex-lax brownies, only solution.

Oh what a ******, stealing someone's lunch, thats so low.

Ex-lax brownies, only solution.

I've had my lunch stolen before, but this time it was my only food for the day. I had no cash on me for the vending machines, my co workers also didn't have cash to loan me (we all have direct deposit), and I rode my bike in so I didn't have time to go out to lunch :(

1 guy here took the blanket approach, he took several boxes of Twinkies, used a very large-bore syringe to suck the cream filling out, he mixed the cream filling with ex-lax, and then used the syringe to inject the filling back in. then he piled them in a pyramid, and put a sign on them saying "DO NOT TOUCH", needless to say they were eaten in a matter of minutes. about 45 people went home sick that day. :p

Another co-worker here has put habanero powder on his oreos. He also simply made many very very very spicy dishes, since he liked food spicier than most, almost anyone that stole his food would be in mild discomfort, twice.

Nothing like spicy food clawing at the back door trying to get out.

Pass the word around that your lunch had some recalled food in it and you aren't mad, just that for their health.......;)

1 guy here took the blanket approach, he took several boxes of Twinkies, used a very large-bore syringe to suck the cream filling out, he mixed the cream filling with ex-lax, and then used the syringe to inject the filling back in. then he piled them in a pyramid, and put a sign on them saying "DO NOT TOUCH", needless to say they were eaten in a matter of minutes. about 45 people went home sick that day. :p
These people clearly are too stupid and selfish to learn. Therefore, I suggest you get a Mr. Bento. You could put a little padlock on the bag. I really like mine.

http://www.zojirushi.com/ourproducts/lunchjarsimage/slja1.jpg

And then of course there is habaneros.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/35/Naga_Jolokia_Peppers.jpg/614px-Naga_Jolokia_Peppers.jpg

What you want to use is the Naga Jolokia Pepper, which rates in at 1,041,427 Scoville units. An habanero only rates at about 300,000 Scoville units.
You should not touch the Naga Jolokia with bare skin, use gloves.

Sheesh - those things are painful just to look at...

One brushes the pepper across whatever you want to make too hot to eat. Chopping it up and putting it in the dish could hospitalize someone.

gg

You could also take a normal cooler bag and put a bunch of biohazard and medical cross symbols on it and some vinyl letters to spell out "TRANSPLANT" or something. I'm sure no one would think to eat a perfectly good kidney or heart.

One brushes the pepper across whatever you want to make too hot to eat. Chopping it up and putting it in the dish could hospitalize someone.

And that would be whose fault, exactly? Certainly not the rightful owner of said thermonuclear meal.

I could not deal with my food missing at all. there would be a stabbing

Sheesh - those things are painful just to look at...

YUM. I love hot food. My curries (for two servings) usually contain 2 habaneros and at least 3 Thai chilis - amongst other spices (cayenne).

I've made some where I couldn't feel my lower lip for a bit.

:D

These people clearly are too stupid and selfish to learn. Therefore, I suggest you get a Mr. Bento. You could put a little padlock on the bag. I really like mine.

The voice of reason. Great idea...right after the Ex-Lax brownies.

ps. First thing that comes up on Yahoo search for Mr. Bento, is Porn! I should have known!;)


http://search.yahoo.com/search?fr=vz-web&tab=&p=Mr.+Bento&btn=Search

frraack i'm on a 12 hour shift (corporate office environment) and I go to the communal refrigerator to obtain my skillfully crafted foodstuffs and wha?! all my lunch/snacks is gone! :mad: been here since 6 am, all dizzy/weak and stuff,, only 3 more hours to go!!!

It can't have been stolen. People naturally want to do the right thing.

I could not deal with my food missing at all. there would be a stabbing

I wouldn't be able to deal with it if I caught it being stolen. I've accidentally taken other people's lunches before, because a lot of people reuse the same safeway or winco grocery bags, but one's I realize its not mine I put it back, perhaps finishing the bite I was on :p hehe just kidding.

Its wierd when I go all "0 carb uber-vegan" no one steals my lunch. Its at a much higher theft risk when I bring a marinated barbecued chicken or steak with 4 cheese home baked lasagna and cookies :rolleyes: and some of my vegan stuff can be pretty good.

That mr bento idea is pretty good, i tend to bring a lot of food for my 12 or 16 hour shifts. I have a locking toolbox i could use. not really food grade but all the food is wrapped anyway.

One brushes the pepper across whatever you want to make too hot to eat. Chopping it up and putting it in the dish could hospitalize someone.

Y'know, at some point, some degree of heat, it just ceases being what anyone would call "food."

It can't have been stolen. People naturally want to do the right thing.


Obviously not you. You're kind of a tool, aren't you?

You could also take a normal cooler bag and put a bunch of biohazard and medical cross symbols on it and some vinyl letters to spell out "TRANSPLANT" or something. I'm sure no one would think to eat a perfectly good kidney or heart.

Thats what I finally did at my last job. Of course we did handle Biohazard so no one ever touched my lunch again.

Put a live frog in the bag - you should be able to identify the culprit by the loud noises... or perhaps a snake.

Put Viagra in it.

:roflmao:

My friend had a similar problem, so he got a few extra foldy boxes you get for asian take-out, then went to work. He created a masterful work of culinary art containing bean sprouts, rice, vegetables and chunky/gravy dog food. It actually looked quite yummy. He then borrowed an idea from one of those college whatever movies from the late 90s or early 2ks (can't remember which, they made something nasty) and took a picture of himself scooping dog food into a pan full of veggies. He taped it to the cellophane-wrapped fortune cookie and put that at the bottom of the bag with a bunch of other stuff like soy sauce and sweet/sour packets, chopsticks and the whole nine yards.

He caught the offender when he heard uncontrollable vomiting noises from a few aisles over, but the a-hole didn't swipe it until two or three days after the trap had been set.
The movie was probably the French flick "Betty Blue (1986)". In one of the scenes, an abusive patron puts a waitress in tears. The husband in the back mixes stuff from the slop can in the customer's dinner.

I actually did this myself shortly after seeing the film when I worked in a Chinese restaurant and some jerkoff sent one of our waitresses back to the kitchen crying. I just pulled some stuff out of the slop can and mixed it in with his noodles since I obviously had access to the correct ingredients. The waitress' spirits were lifted instantly, the rest of the staff was downright jovial for the rest of the evening, the customer ate everything and was happy, and everyone was happy to deliver him with exceptional service. A win win situation for everyone.

I do not believe it is wise to be unkind to people who bring you food.

One brushes the pepper across whatever you want to make too hot to eat. Chopping it up and putting it in the dish could hospitalize someone.
Only hypochondriacs or someone with a health condition. I once ate a whole habanero straight, and I chewed it up carefully to get the full effect. I do NOT recommend trying this -- I could not believe so much pain could result simply by eating something. I wound up doubled up on the floor for the better part of an hour with mucus coming out of my mouth while it felt like a grenade had detonated in my stomach. Having said all that, not all habaneros are created equal. I've chewed on others. The ones at the grocery store just aren't nearly as hot as the ones I can get at the farmers' market.

You cannot put enough pepper on something to make it hot without making it smell hot. That trick will not work

Only hypochondriacs or someone with a health condition. I once ate a whole habanero straight, and I chewed it up carefully to get the full effect. I do NOT recommend trying this -- I could not believe so much pain could result simply by eating something. I wound up doubled up on the floor for the better part of an hour with mucus coming out of my mouth while it felt like a grenade had detonated in my stomach. Having said all that, not all habaneros are created equal. I've chewed on others. The ones at the grocery store just aren't nearly as hot as the ones I can get at the farmers' market.

You cannot put enough pepper on something to make it hot without making it smell hot. That trick will not work

The question that begs asking... How loud did your ass scream the next morning? I can't begin to fathom. :eek:

The question that begs asking... How loud did your ass scream the next morning? I can't begin to fathom. :eek:
It was a highly unpleasant, but educational experience. Naturally, I had to trick one of my friends into eating one too.

Same thing happened to him as happened to me. I'll never forget the look in his eyes. There was a look of confused despair -- you would have thought I buried a knife in his back. He put his hands on my shoulders and asked "why the f*** did you do that to me?" The next day, he confessed that he literally thought I'd poisoned him and that he was going to die.

Some things should only be done once. Chewing up a whole habanero is one of those things. Like I said, though, they're not all created equal. If you can handle a whole one, keep looking. It is positively mind blowing how hot those are, and I say this as someone who's always liked food that's extremely hot by American standards. My dad had been feeding me green chilis from the time I was very little (not a mean trick -- he's Indian, and that's just one of the things they eat).

I accidentally bit into a habanero and swallowed before I knew what I was doing. You see our gardner learned I like hot peppers so he grew some for us. He didn't know what it was, just that it was hot. Hot was an understatement. :eek: Thankfully a lime tree was next to the garden and after eating 3 limes straight, the fire was put out. (this is a great secret to know - hot = base, use acid to conteract)

I didn't suffer the next day because of the limes - thankfully.

Oh, I love it hot too. But I just can't fathom digesting and passing something that has me writhing on the floor for an hour. OMFG

YUM. I love hot food. My curries (for two servings) usually contain 2 habaneros and at least 3 Thai chilis - amongst other spices (cayenne).

I've made some where I couldn't feel my lower lip for a bit.

:D

Tude: We really need to do lunch. :) Got to get the wifes permission though. :D

This sounds quite good.......

You could also take a normal cooler bag and put a bunch of biohazard and medical cross symbols on it and some vinyl letters to spell out "TRANSPLANT" or something. I'm sure no one would think to eat a perfectly good kidney or heart.

Or try "STOOL SAMPLE" on a brown paper bag!

The voice of reason. Great idea...right after the Ex-Lax brownies.

ps. First thing that comes up on Yahoo search for Mr. Bento, is Porn! I should have known!;)


http://search.yahoo.com/search?fr=vz-web&tab=&p=Mr.+Bento&btn=Search

Isn't that the first thing that comes up on almost every search on Yahoo? ;)

You should definitely booby trap the lunch somehow.

start writing "this lunch is a fridgebomb" on your lunch.

I don't mean to keep picking on you but...

"This Bike Is a Pipe Bomb"

//Used to go to the Robot House
///Sorry for the threadjack

Oh, and I would suggest getting a lunchbag with zippers that you can put a lock on.

I do not believe it is wise to be unkind to people who bring you food.

When in college I had the good luck of working the late shift in a fast food joint, imagine that.
One thing to know is that you should NEVER mess with the person making your grub. One of my favorite was to put a healthy dose of hot sauce in the bottom of the drink cup before putting in the ice and beverage. That way when they put the straw in and take that first big swig of what they expect to be soda, :eek:, Oh my goodness.