Bicycle Mechanics - Help! my parts are fubar

What should I do? I've had this creaking noise in my bottom bracket that happens once every peddle rotation. Do I have the right size bottom bracket. My bb says 68mm; is that the spindle length? I'm running a 32/42/52 ultegra 9spd triple. Or should I switch to a Dura Ace 10spd double? My cleats are making a squeaky noise when I peddle? My carbon fiber frame has a nick in the clear coat on the top tube. Is this going to catastrophically fail on me? What grease/oil/dry wax lube works best for wheel/BB/headset/peddle bearings and chains? There is another creaking noise in my handlebars; I think my fork is the wrong size for my front wheel. Can I use wd-40 on my wheel bearings? Why do my tires blow out? Why does my Modolo break lever not work with my v-breaks? Why, Why Why?

:roflmao:

sorry if this is actually serious...

Too many negative waves.

Flip it

What should I do? I've had this creaking noise in my bottom bracket that happens once every peddle rotation. Do I have the right size bottom bracket. My bb says 68mm; is that the spindle length? I'm running a 32/42/52 ultegra 9spd triple. Or should I switch to a Dura Ace 10spd double? My cleats are making a squeaky noise when I peddle? My carbon fiber frame has a nick in the clear coat on the top tube. Is this going to catastrophically fail on me? What grease/oil/dry wax lube works best for wheel/BB/headset/peddle bearings and chains? There is another creaking noise in my handlebars; I think my fork is the wrong size for my front wheel. Can I use wd-40 on my wheel bearings? Why do my tires blow out? Why does my Modolo break lever not work with my v-breaks? Why, Why Why?
Sounds like you need to visit your LBS pronto! Oh, and bring DEEP plastic with you. This is going to be EXPENSIVE but they can fix you right up! :D

http://www.kangarooconnection.com/image14JoeyClownBike.gif

A croaking noise in your handlebar would indicate that a frog is trapped in your stem. They like to eat tender leaves and stems.

i will chisel you a new bottom bracket out of stone for approximately 100,000 U.S. dollars.

obviously you have the best bike ever and should ride until the sound is unbearable, and then ride it more.

Oh yes, I also wanted to know if my pre-97 dura ace shifters will index with my campagnolo 10spd rear wheel.

Oh yes, I also wanted to know if my pre-97 dura ace shifters will index with my campagnolo 10spd rear wheel.

Only works with an ICS gold plated Record RD.

i will chisel you a new bottom bracket out of stone for approximately 100,000 U.S. dollars.

I would really like to see this actually

I love the threads with peddle. I might start one like this myself, some day.

What should I do? I've had this creaking noise in my bottom bracket that happens once every peddle rotation. Do I have the right size bottom bracket. My bb says 68mm; is that the spindle length? I'm running a 32/42/52 ultegra 9spd triple. Or should I switch to a Dura Ace 10spd double? My cleats are making a squeaky noise when I peddle? My carbon fiber frame has a nick in the clear coat on the top tube. Is this going to catastrophically fail on me? What grease/oil/dry wax lube works best for wheel/BB/headset/peddle bearings and chains? There is another creaking noise in my handlebars; I think my fork is the wrong size for my front wheel. Can I use wd-40 on my wheel bearings? Why do my tires blow out? Why does my Modolo break lever not work with my v-breaks? Why, Why Why?

OK, now seriously: WD-40 is not a lubricant. You should use, for example, motor oil (that's what I use on my chain).

If you think your front fork is too small for your tire, put some motor oil on the front wheel, so it won't creek. You'll have to renew the lube from time to time, but much less often than with a WD-40. In any case, it's a small price to pay for a silent bike ride. Some may say that this will make your bike less stabel, but don't listen to them, you'll do just fine. The front wheel isn't that important for stabelity anyway.

As for why your tires blow, I have no idea. Where's that "stan's is the bestest"-dude when you need him??

As for why your tires blow, I have no idea. Where's that "stan's is the bestest"-dude when you need him??

Have no fear, I'm never far aweigh. And I'm confident that if ewe ever try Stan's toobless, ewe'll be inspired to join me in my "Stan's is the bestest" crewsade. But do keep in mind that it's knot for hi-pressure rode tiers.

Buy for now,

The "Stan's is the bestest" dude


P.S. BTW, Stan's toobless sealant is so good, it also helps with most peddle and break problems-

i will chisel you a new bottom bracket out of stone for approximately 100,000 U.S. dollars.

Would that be 'Hillary' stone? :)

What should I do? I've had this creaking noise in my bottom bracket that happens once every peddle rotation.

Turn up the volume on your mp3 player.

Do I have the right size bottom bracket. My bb says 68mm; is that the spindle length?

You might need to swap out the BB housing. 68mm spindle...If you are Graeme Obree it might be.

I'm running a 32/42/52 ultegra 9spd triple. Or should I switch to a Dura Ace 10spd double?

What the hay...go for it!

My cleats are making a squeaky noise when I peddle?

What are you peddling? Turn up the mp3 volume even louder.

My carbon fiber frame has a nick in the clear coat on the top tube. Is this going to catastrophically fail on me?

Probably yeah. You better go head and swap out the top tube while you are doing the BB.

What grease/oil/dry wax lube works best for wheel/BB/headset/peddle bearings and chains?

Crisco, vegetable, or candle wax. Ear wax can also be used.

There is another creaking noise in my handlebars;

More damn creaks! Turn up the mp3 player to the max volume!

I think my fork is the wrong size for my front wheel.

Try the Park Tools FU-2 Fork Unit Stretcher/Compressor tool.

Can I use wd-40 on my wheel bearings?

Yes. Should you? Ahhh....that is a different question that I wont get into.

Why do my tires blow out?

Did you expect them to blow in?

Why does my Modolo break lever not work with my v-breaks?

Thems the breaks!

Why, Why Why?

Ours is not to reason why...

Ear wax can also be used.

That might be truer than you think.

Anyway, a little factoid for y'all:

There are two distinct genetically determined types of earwax: the wet type, which is dominant, and the dry type, which is recessive. Asians and Native Americans are more likely to have the dry type of cerumen (grey and flaky), whereas Caucasians and Africans are more likely to have the wet type (honey-brown to dark-brown and moist).[2] Cerumen type has been used by anthropologists to track human migratory patterns, such as those of the Inuit.[3]

Found here. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ear_wax)

That's more that I know about earwax, but not n-ear-ly more than I want to

What should I do? I've had this creaking noise in my bottom bracket that happens once every peddle rotation.

Turn up the volume on your mp3 player.

etc...

VERY good!