Foo - Headlines From The Year: 2029

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View Full Version : Headlines From The Year: 2029


KingTermite
11-08-07, 01:28 PM
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.


Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.


Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.


Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.


Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).


Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.


France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.


Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.


George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.


Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.


85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise are the key to weight loss.


Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.


Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.


Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.


Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights.


Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.


New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.


Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.


IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.


Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.


Jerseysbest
11-08-07, 01:38 PM
http://yankees-chick.com/conan.jpg

KingTermite
11-08-07, 01:40 PM
More like....

http://home.comcast.net/%7Emiraclo/Karnak.gif


Jerseysbest
11-08-07, 01:41 PM
More like....

http://home.comcast.net/%7Emiraclo/Karnak.gif

Wrong generation! :D:D

squegeeboo
11-08-07, 01:42 PM
Afghanistan isn't part of the Middle East

KingTermite
11-08-07, 01:45 PM
Wrong generation! :D:D

I'm kind of in the middle I guess....I know both decently well.

colorider
11-08-07, 01:45 PM
Greenland opens new five star beachfront resort.

skinnyone
11-08-07, 01:46 PM
Teh Cypress smiles for the first time.

x136
11-08-07, 01:48 PM
GM has introduced the new eight-wheel-drive twin-turbo V16 Hummer H9. (Note: Truck bed is purely decorational.)

jsharr
11-08-07, 01:51 PM
x136 denied parole; PETA and the Zucchini Farmers Union celebrate yet again.

Luwin1026
11-08-07, 01:53 PM
OJ arrested again. Maybe the 10th time is the charm for a lasting conviction.

Britney loses custody of her grandkids. And flashes her vi-jay-jay again. With greying pubes.

KingTermite
11-08-07, 01:53 PM
jsharr passes out the millionth bass. Bikeforums turns up nose in disgust.

Ironic Mullet
11-08-07, 02:02 PM
http://homepage.mac.com/dtrull/pix/idiotreport.jpg

Zeuser
11-08-07, 04:11 PM
George Z. Bush will officially call insects terrorists if elected in 2036.

China: No more lead paint in our products, we ran out of lead.

Water vapor from Hydrogen powered cars behind fog alert in L.A.

NASA: Mars rovers still working. May discover water any day now.

Bottled water hits record high of $198.6. May hit $200 by weeks end. Emergency reserves still safe says Whitehouse.

KingTermite
11-08-07, 04:12 PM
NASA: Mars rovers still working. May discover water any day now.
:roflmao: Good one.

Cypress
11-08-07, 04:35 PM
Teh Cypress smiles for the first time.

Unlikely.

2manybikes
11-08-07, 05:43 PM
Osama Bin Laden is discovered Running a pawn shop in New Jersey.



"Pinky" and "The Brain" finally do achieve world domination.

KingTermite
11-08-07, 05:43 PM
Osama Bin Laden is discovered Running a pawn shop in New Jersey.

:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:


3 blocks down from the nudie bar run by the Bush Twins.

EJ123
11-08-07, 05:46 PM
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise are the key to weight loss.

roflcopter.

2manybikes
11-08-07, 05:50 PM
:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:


3 blocks down from the nudie bar run by the Bush Twins.


:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

That happens to be in the same building as the Dick Cheney memorial shooting range.

KingTermite
11-08-07, 05:57 PM
:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

That happens to be in the same building as the Dick Cheney memorial shooting range.

The grand opening picture that hangs on the wall.

http://www.thechiefsource.com/hello/106/1266/1024/Cheney%20gun.jpg

wabbit
11-08-07, 06:15 PM
president jenna bush throws up on japanese prime minister....

jsharr
11-08-07, 07:23 PM
President Bailey wins with "bone in every bowl" campaign, cats outlawed, bombing begins tomorrow.

flyingscotsman
11-08-07, 07:25 PM
so the country really is going to the dogs!!!!!

mmerner
11-08-07, 11:12 PM
The Mars Bicyclers surrenders to the BF Coalition of Earth after 5 year war and 70 million dead.

Gee3
11-08-07, 11:47 PM
The city of San Francisco is officially reconized as an island state after the 10.5 quake at the San Andreas fault years earlier. This, of course, raises housing prices even more now that everyone has beach front property!

Jan Ullrich still denies doping on his death bed.

The Tour of America finally starts after 22 years trying to get sponsors and rider interest.

The new Trek Madone 30.5 is introduced at the affordable price of $30k!

WADA, ASO and the UCI still can't get their ***** together.

Gas is $135 gallon... good thing we run on nuclear power like the Jetson's!

Pheard hates the color pink!

Foo seceded from BF and became it's own exclusive forum: The Foo Forums (FF)

Michael Vick gets out of jail for good behavior.

The St. Louis Rams and the Miami Dolphins finally win a game!

Average speed at Tour de France: 55.9mph (Doping still exists...)

Jessica Alba and Jessica Simpson ain't so hot anymore... :(

okay I'l stop... I'm just bored...

Flippin Sweet
11-08-07, 11:55 PM
"bone in every bowl"
(that's what she said...)

2manybikes
11-09-07, 03:15 PM
:
The grand opening picture that hangs on the wall.

Excellent ! :roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:


President Bailey wins with "bone in every bowl" campaign, cats outlawed, bombing begins tomorrow.

:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

President Bailey appoints jsharr head of home land security. He then puts secret cameras in the Bush twin's nudie bar.

2manybikes becomes a quadrapalegic when he crashes his Litespeed Ghisallo uphill into a headwind at 81 mph. He buys Chris Reeve's old chair on Ebay for $75. He puts Pcad's old Zipps on the chair, posts on Bikeforums that they work great, and everyone gives him a hard time about it.

He is currently experimenting with a more "aero" position in his chair.

Cypress
11-09-07, 03:21 PM
Ryanf wins Le tour 15th consecutive time, is still asking Cypress mundane questions.