Foo - Long distance relationships

Yay or Nay?

Pros/cons?

Opinions - stories - experiences

how long distance?

no.
just....no
trust me
Why?


how long distance?
Different states, for a couple/few years

It depends on if both parties are willing to make it work. If not then NAY!! It can't be a one way road if you get what I mean :)

teh suck.

Oh I couldn't even get a guy to commit to me that lived an hour away!!! HA HA HA.

You gotta read that book "He just not that into you" AWESOME READ!!! :)

Another state away? That sounds pretty tough. My bf lives 2 1/2 hours away which means that we see each other on the weekends. That has been working out pretty good so far. We've been doing that for 7 months now.

I'd rather be close, but I'm willing to do anything for the right person.

Ugh.

Lots of reasons. All of them very, very bad.

sounds like a bad experience, Deamer. HEY! you from NC????

I'd rather be close, but I'm willing to do anything for the right person.

:)

HappyFeet and I survived 3 years of long distance relationship after dating for only a year. I was in Texas, she was in Michigan. We saw each other every couple of months, spent lots of time on the phone and online.

Ugh.

Lots of reasons. All of them very, very bad.

(So you're not gonna help warn a fellow Fooster?) How about some generic, non personal examples then?

Done it twice before... both actually went very well. Makes you actually learn what you like about the other person, rather than just what they look like or whatever.

HappyFeet and I survived 3 years of long distance relationship after dating for only a year. I was in Texas, she was in Michigan. We saw each other every couple of months, spent lots of time on the phone and online.

And now you are married!!! :D

Did it for a couple of years, 5000 miles apart, july 97 to july 99 got married April 2002

Still together, so worked for me.

worst experience of my life.
I'd rather be shot.
twice.
in the kneecaps.

yes.
I see you are too

Gosh, that sounds painful (the relationship, not the living in NC part). Sorry to hear that.

My cousin and her husband have been working on opposite coasts for years. I have no idea how they have done it.

If you're meant to be together you'll both work hard to close the distance.

Long distance relationships seem to work about as well as any relationship. Some work, some don't.

Some friends of mine are coming up on being married for a year. When they met, one lived in Texas, and one was living in Osaka, Japan.

I can't pretend to know what the criteria for success is, but I know it's possible, despite the prevailing opinion. :)

oh, yay! some happy experiences! I like that.

:p You are talking before marriage, right. :) Since we wed, I spent another 4 months in Africa when she went stateside to finish her degree. If political concerns hadn't made me leave we'd have been apart almost 3 years. Later I worked 2 years in Oklahoma while she was in school in Colorado. We saw each other every 3 or 4 months. Years later I spent a year in Colorado trying to sell our house while she worked in SoCal. Now she is headed to Minnesota while I may be staying in NorCal. How does this apply to the rest of you? If the relationship is solid enough anything is possible.

One of my co-workers got married last year. She lives here, in NC, and he is still living in NJ, working until he can retire. They will live apart for 3 more years. She said it is going well so far.

If you're in love with someone, distance wont matter. The problem is, it's easy to fall in love with the idea of a person and it can be very very hard to the difference in a long distance situation. You can get together for brief periods (weekends, weeks whatever) and gloss over things that may really be deal breakers in a life where you see the other person on a daily basis.

We met and 3 days later she went back home across the ocean(Denmark)... we met for two weeks that december in her country.... we met for a week in spring in my place(caribbean).... she crossed the ocean once again after a year left her job and moved in my place (Caribbean).... we got married 2 years later... and this last october we been toghether for 12 years.... when it hits you.. you'll know it ... nothing will stop you....

Long distance relationships work only if there is a comittment and for a relatively short time.... 2 years would have been the end for us... thats why we decided to try it after a year...

I've never in my life believed that there's one person "out there" for anybody. I think if we're lucky, there's somebody out there who we can put up with, and if we're REALLY lucky, that person can also put up with you.


No offense meant at all, but I don't think I could disagree with you any more on that... I mean, to me, that's just implying that settling for someone should be the norm.

Just be very, very careful. Lots and lots of people out there are really just #%!*@%#. And the worst ones of all will never, ever admit it, even after you catch them at it.

Thank you for being so open. I'm sure this was hard for you and to tell us, that was very giving of you.

One day you will be looking at this as a chapter in your life rather than the story.

((hugs)) to you Dreamer. From one dreamer to another. :o

I`ve had a few LDR`s and to me it was 3%bliss with 97% lonliness. I married 10 years ago so maybe its different with the internet and cellphones.

No

There have been too many REAL bad surprises. You go along believing what things to be, then you find out there is more. No, I think everyone wants to be in a relationship/independent, just never seems to be a good thing. I really don't like those kind of surprises, they hurt.

Isn't KT in a long distance relationship?

only rarely does this ever work out

just say no

Had a weekend relationship with my now wife for 4 years before we were married. Ups and downs, but really I can't imagine the odds of it working or not are any different than if you live in the same town. I think people focus on the "long distance" aspect of a relationship when citing why they broke up, rather than the real underlying issues.

There are things that are different, of course. For example, for some reason we had our only fights on the Friday night when one of us would arrive for a visit. Nothing really major, just seemed to be the frustration of not being around each other. After that was out of the way, Friday and Saturdays were great, then the sadness/ frustration would start to set in Sunday afternoon. Also, as other people mentioned, there's the unknown of when you're not around. Hearing about your GF/BF going out to parties with friends, getting drunk, getting home late, etc. Either you can handle it or not, won't know until you do it. Some people just can't, but I think that would be true if they were in the same town as well. To me, it kind of made you trust the person you were with, which also means you could get burnt, but I would have rather been burned then versus after your married. Good luck with your decision.

Not from experience, but I imagine it would have to be situational, as with all things involving relationships.

If its right, its right.

I did the long distance thing and it worked out fine. But I like to be alone, I'm very independent and have a lot of hobbies. It really depends on the person.

Yay or Nay?

Pros/cons?

Opinions - stories - experiences



are you cheating on me?!?!?! :eek:

All We Need Is Love!!!!! Hee Hee :)

Worked for me in college. Her in Davis me in Santa Cruz. We then married.

are you cheating on me?!?!?! :eek:
No, I'm breaking up with you. You don't call me anymore. Oh wait. You NEVER called me!! :mad:

There's a cutie I've got my eye on. But he's trigger shy right now. :p

No, I'm breaking up with you. You don't call me anymore. Oh wait. You NEVER called me!! :mad:

There's a cutie I've got my eye on. But he's trigger shy right now. :p

ohhhhhh do tell, do tell

No, I'm breaking up with you. You don't call me anymore. Oh wait. You NEVER called me!! :mad:

There's a cutie I've got my eye on. But he's trigger shy right now. :p

Sounds like a real jerk to me... :rolleyes:

ohhhhhh do tell, do tell
ehhhh.....Then he'd know. I'm not gonna scare him off.

...wait, I remember now...I DO have personal experience (college, me in Maine, she in Florida). Didn't work.

Sounds like a real jerk to me... :rolleyes:

Yeah you are right. Maybe I should forget about the trigger guy too, huh?

He's probably just being careful... Guys are weird like that, you know.

No, I'm breaking up with you. You don't call me anymore. Oh wait. You NEVER called me!! :mad:



quail!

He's probably just being careful... Guys are weird like that, you know.

I don't chase guys. I'll let him be.

If you love something, let it go...

If it returns to you, its yours...

If it doesn't, hunt it down...:rolleyes:

To clear the record here, this thread isn't about me. It's for my friend, actually.

Oh, how amusing this all is...

Yay or Nay?

Pros/cons?

Opinions - stories - experiences

It really depends on the people. I had a long distance relationship once with a woman who lived about 2 hours drive from me. It was teh suck. It didn't last long.

Now, I still have my g/f from Florida. We were only together about 5 months before I moved here 6 months ago. We are still doing fine. We spend a lot of time to make it work. It will still be another year before she comes here (because of being in a school program she was already in middle of when we met), but it seems to be working out ok.

Another state away? That sounds pretty tough. My bf lives 2 1/2 hours away which means that we see each other on the weekends. That has been working out pretty good so far. We've been doing that for 7 months now.

That's a long way. If your schedule permits you to give each other the entire weekend, then I can see that working, but otherwise I see that being very difficult. You have lasted 7 months, that is a good success.

On the long distance generally, haven't tried it, but I'd say not unless it is already a very established relationship (years), or very temporary (like less than 2 months apart). Otherwise, don't see the point, and I certainly don't see a new one getting off the ground long distance.