Singlespeed & Fixed Gear - It's 3am, 29 degrees, you're 3 miles from home and drunk when...

...you hit a bump and your handlebars turn sideways! "No problem!", you think to yourself, "I have a handy dandy multi-tool!" The only problem is you seem to have lost it or left it at home. "I'll just walk" you think, until you realize it's really ****ing cold and you just want to get home to your warm bed. What do you do?



No hands all the way home b!tches!

No, you put the front wheel between your knees and straighten it out.

No, you put the front wheel between your knees and straighten it out.

No, like it was all loose and the handlebars didn't turn the wheel anymore! I had to hold the fork crown to get going.

:)

I dont think my handlebars have ever done that.

Yeah, me either. I swapped the stem out yesterday and must not have tightened it down very well. I should know better than to ride a new setup without tools. :rolleyes:

Thats why I always tighten my handlebars at 3pm 68 degrees in my house while I'm sober.

Glad you got home.

-ray

I usally have wiped out trying epic skids when that happens. Forcing it back with the knee works. Too many hills for no handed. I have a cresant wrench in ny back pocket at all times now

...you hit a bump and your handlebars turn sideways! "No problem!", you think to yourself, "I have a handy dandy multi-tool!" The only problem is you seem to have lost it or left it at home. "I'll just walk" you think, until you realize it's really ****ing cold and you just want to get home to your warm bed. What do you do?



No hands all the way home b!tches!

Respect. :)

If you can't figure it out, don't encounter the police. Drunk on a bike, the ride they take you on; will not be towards home.

Respect. :)

props

reach down and hold the fork striaght

You ride home anyway, thinking you may not be that drunk; within a block, you clip a side-view mirror with your elbow; wipe out; notice flashing lights behind you; get up, ride away quickly; wipe out again, this time ****ing up a car; realize the lights are an ambulance and not cops; get into ambulance with bike, apologize profusely for being an idiot; get fixed up; go home.

Oh wait, that was me.

Respect. :)


props

holla?

i ride no handed most of the time anyway

Respect. :)

props

holla?

Holla back! (I'm pretty sure I did that wrong)

What can I say, I'm way too unskilled to do that. Were there any hills?

What can I say, I'm way too unskilled to do that. Were there any hills?

Just some short uphills, I was on a geared bike so I just down shifted.

^^^Just read the last post eh? :D

LOL. I just deleted mine too. :)

kemmer

as you know this was entirely self-inflicted

part of me thinks you should have suffered a little more

for your own good and all

^^^You're not supposed to quote - spoils the game!

I really suck at no hands cycling. Oh well...

and you shouldnt point

its impolite

^^^I wasn't pointing at you.

Well, now I am.

-10 for not riding a wheelie home while spinning your bars.

Just some short uphills, I was on a geared bike so I just down shifted.

OT
:)

Another option is to jog/walk/jog/walk to keep your heat up.

Respect. :)


props


holla?


Holla back! (I'm pretty sure I did that wrong)

rock on duder! dun dun dun! *bobs head..throws up manson finger sign* yeeeeah man?

i twisted my bars under similar circumstances the other night and couldn't re-twist them, so i had to ride home with my risers at a 45 degree angle

:-(

...you hit a bump and your handlebars turn sideways! "No problem!", you think to yourself, "I have a handy dandy multi-tool!" The only problem is you seem to have lost it or left it at home. "I'll just walk" you think, until you realize it's really ****ing cold and you just want to get home to your warm bed. What do you do?



No hands all the way home b!tches!

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/4/40/Babyfail.jpg

http://strix.org.uk/downloads/files/lolz-you-fail.jpg

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/02/fail.jpg

http://lh5.google.com/Frank.Ertl/R0r1viRktyI/AAAAAAAAABg/ZjLCWwJX8W4/charliebrown.gif

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/b/b7/Failbull.jpg

^lol, whats all this bull *****?

http://www.lafferty.ca/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/fail-24.jpg

http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z261/pakuorg/fail.jpg

http://dashiva.net/img/fail.jpg

http://www.oleswanson.com/images/office/failure.jpg

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/funny-pictures-bird-cat-cage.jpg

^i love that one.

http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z261/pakuorg/fail.jpg

what is this one about

Ah man, that's nothing! I ride no hands 40% of the time and like going of curbs and taking steep turns when i do so.

Which i am sure is a bit daft, but yeh even i am not daft enough to ride a new setup and forget my tools and be drunk while riding at night. Kinda asking to get rear ended or if you are in a very rural setting to end up in a 'deliverance' type situation... Squeel like A Pig, drunk City Bike Boy!!! Squeeeeeellll!

Awright, maybe that last part is rather unlikely. But still, not too savvy.

one more failcat and this will be an intervention

http://bridegroompress.com/zencart/images/books/book-dtfail.jpg

one more failcat and this will be an intervention

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o197/old_fool/fail/U_fail_at_life.png

http://i179.photobucket.com/albums/w286/chrisw2224/fail.jpg

Ah man, that's nothing! I ride no hands 40% of the time.

LOL @ the epic fail.

I can take off my bag, remove my gloves, remove my jacket, put it in the bag, put my gloves back on and put my bag back on while riding no handed, but it's not the same when you know you're ****ed if you need to grab the bars. It's also a bit harder if you can't use the bars when you're starting and stopping. Try it sometime, it's really spooky when your handle bars turn and you don't. And yeah, the whole thing was a result of me being fairly dumb on several counts. I had planned on riding the train home, but I missed the last one of the night. I usually have tools, but forgot them. The point is, even though I'm an idiot I can ride no hands for 3 miles, I most certainly did not fail. I may have failed when I started this thread but I was still drunk.

I may have failed when I started this thread but I was still drunk.
Classic.

You are my hero.

kemmer we love you

even though my handlebars work sometimes i like to ride the last two straightish flatish miles home no handed with my arms in the air so i can pretend im flying

Must've been some WICKED barspins, yeah? Maybe it's the next fad..

'LOOK GUYZ I IZ DOIN ZE KEMMER!~~~!!!!111one!'

this thread is where old, old internet jokes come to die