Foo - I'd been thinking.

I always wondered, both my brothers sit around and literally play an online game 24/7. Go to school, game. Go to school, more game. Stay up till 5 in the morning, game. They sit there and chuckle, and seem to have a good time chatting with random people of which they don't even know their names. At least on BF we have the shot or chance of meeting one another, and seeing/knowing eachother. This online game, they will never meet any of these people, plus lots of the kinds of people who play these games are sheltered, and are somewhat afraid to meet anyone. I thought to myself, is that enough in life? just to sit there and play with random voices(actually more like random "words")? I mean, I thought about it for a sec, there is no risk of ever feeling let down, or ever feeling dissapointed, or hurt, or sad, because they never develop relationships with anyone.

So then I got to thinking. Maybe sitting around playing online games, has a deeper seated purpose than just "having fun" with like minded gamers. Whether people want to admit it or not, I think this is part of why people sit around and play games 24/7, subconsciously, or consciously, I do not know. Never any risk of being hurt.

At the same time, there was but one online game I could never put down. Halo 2. I played it one time for 48 hours straight at one point. I actually got close to a group of maybe 4 guys, new them by first name, had them on my myspace, and chatted with them online, etc, etc. I began to ignore the people in real life who were my actual friends and started to feel like these online folks were more my friends. At a certain point I realized it wasn't worth my time anymore and I stopped playing.

Bottom line is, I know I'm the kind of person who needs attention, love, and caring from outside people, away from my family. I know I need it. I want it, and I thrive off it. Even if it's but a few special people that's enough. The only downfall or negative aspect thrown into the mix is the possible or imminent let down at some point. So the question is... Is it better to put yourself out there? or to live sheltered and never have the prospect of being let down enter your world?

Sounds like my brother.

Does he play final fantasy 11? :p

Pheard, real social contact is always preferable to the virtual.

Sounds like my brother.


I can say the same. damn World of Warcraft.

I love you too Jon....thanks for telling me. :love:

Does he play final fantasy 11? :p

No it is something like Starcraft, I really don't know.

Sometimes these people do meet, they have LAN parties.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/113/290314232_c2d94cd52a.jpg?v=0

Most LANs are locals who are already friends IRL. MMORPGs have pretty much killed LAN parties.

i'm holding out for an on-line virtual sex game to find people to chat with.

"Is it better to put yourself out there?"

Yes.

Bottom line is, I know I'm the kind of person who needs attention, love, and caring from outside people, away from my family. I know I need it. I want it, and I thrive off it. Even if it's but a few special people that's enough. The only downfall or negative aspect thrown into the mix is the possible or imminent let down at some point. So the question is... Is it better to put yourself out there? or to live sheltered and never have the prospect of being let down enter your world?

Congrats on recognizing that. Thats a very mature observation. You have to decide your own risk limit.

Personally, I am more akin to your brother, while gaming is many years behind me, your observed attitude of your brother is one I have and have matured. I am the opposite of you. I do not need anything outside of myself. Everything else is either a blessing or a curse. I take all outside influences for what they generally are, fleeting modifications to my personality. I am not naive enough to believe people don't influence me or my thoughts, but I don't need that influence. My "loner" personality is more than likely a result of years of being disapointed in other people, deaths in my family and my own resolve to leave home very early. I would look at your brother as someone to learn from, he shows one small aspect of many types of personalities.

congrats, you just moved up my scale of annoying posters ;). This was a very good post with some decent insight.

That and he might just be lazy :)

oh...and to simply answer the question, life is boring with risk. Any risk. To not put yourself out there, especially if you feel the "need" for relationships (friends or otherwise) would be very dull. I love interacting.

As an extension, I am also very reserved in who I call friends. Some people throw the term out there like its spit. In 32 years of life, I have a handfull of friends and 100's of acquaintance's. I can socialize with any of those people, but truly only enjoy my time with friends. Friends, to me, need to be able to maintain conversation and I promise, none of my friends have ever said "The dinner table is not the place for politics or religion"...obviously the statement insinuates something else, as usually the people who say that, will also avoid conversation about politics and religion in a casual setting. I despise that point of view and have never and will never be friends with someone who believes that. My greatest moments of friendship were created in debate with friends and family about politics, religios and usually the history thereof. Everyone has their requirements and thats most likely my number one requirement. Intelligent conversation is first and foremost a requirement.

Thanks for the post, I love looking into myself once and a while. I truly miss my friends from back home. We would sit at one of our houses and argue, debate and discuss some truly amazing topics for days (jolt cola hmmm) it would never resolve anything but we became more aware of our friends and have a greater understanding of differing points of view. That in and of itself makes the "risk" of conversation worth it.

Let me say this as someone who the OP could have easily described in his post. I came from a time where I would sit in font of the PC for very long periods of time. FFXI and WoW, both as involved as they are consumed me totally. I however got bored with the repetition. Not to mention the lack of fulfillment once you get to a certain point, where there really is no next level or anything of that sort. There are others out there that would fiend for the next expansion or the new item..yadda yadda..To be honest I got bored. I am sure they will as well when they have had enough. Besides, there is eventually going to be an endpoint from the game designer. For WoW it looks as 2010 is when they will pull the plug. However, I am sure there will be something to replace it and then we can complain about those games as well.

Without interaction life becomes dull and boring. I choose to interact.

Let me say this as someone who the OP could have easily described in his post. I came from a time where I would sit in font of the PC for very long periods of time. FFXI and WoW, both as involved as they are consumed me totally. I however got bored with the repetition. Not to mention the lack of fulfillment once you get to a certain point, where there really is no next level or anything of that sort. There are others out there that would fiend for the next expansion or the new item..yadda yadda..To be honest I got bored. I am sure they will as well when they have had enough. Besides, there is eventually going to be an endpoint from the game designer. For WoW it looks as 2010 is when they will pull the plug. However, I am sure there will be something to replace it and then we can complain about those games as well.

Without interaction life becomes dull and boring. I choose to interact.

So the next level was reality? :D

That question depends on a person's opinion, perspective on life and other factors. I think you are right, no matter where you are or where you go you do take a risk of being hurt. It's like death you cant avoid it or run away from it, its bound to happen. Games can be very addictive, an for that reason i avoid them. Halo games are awesome, me and a bunch of friends used to go meet up at a friends house and play it like 10-12 hours. Used to do that for many weekends, end up getting tired of it.

oh...and to simply answer the question, life is boring with risk. Any risk. To not put yourself out there, especially if you feel the "need" for relationships (friends or otherwise) would be very dull. I love interacting.

As an extension, I am also very reserved in who I call friends. Some people throw the term out there like its spit. In 32 years of life, I have a handfull of friends and 100's of acquaintance's. I can socialize with any of those people, but truly only enjoy my time with friends. Friends, to me, need to be able to maintain conversation and I promise, none of my friends have ever said "The dinner table is not the place for politics or religion"...obviously the statement insinuates something else, as usually the people who say that, will also avoid conversation about politics and religion in a casual setting. I despise that point of view and have never and will never be friends with someone who believes that. My greatest moments of friendship were created in debate with friends and family about politics, religios and usually the history thereof. Everyone has their requirements and thats most likely my number one requirement. Intelligent conversation is first and foremost a requirement.

Thanks for the post, I love looking into myself once and a while. I truly miss my friends from back home. We would sit at one of our houses and argue, debate and discuss some truly amazing topics for days (jolt cola hmmm) it would never resolve anything but we became more aware of our friends and have a greater understanding of differing points of view. That in and of itself makes the "risk" of conversation worth it.

I agree with you in regards to your feelings with friends. I know some people who literally meet a person aka acquaintance, and instantly "this is my friend". Friend is a special word, it to me means something huge if you use it in conjunction with another person, this person has to be special, has to mean something to you, and you have to mean something to them. A romantic relationship to me, is friendship with a physical attraction, therefore a plain friendship would be that minus the physical side. A friend to me, would literally risk their life for you, otherwise they are just a nice person you met.

no proof of causality. It is not clear whether the fear of real social interaction is the cause of people playing games. If anything, I would say it's the opposite. The games and the fun and the addictiveness of it all are the prime cause.

no proof of causality. It is not clear whether the fear of real social interaction is the cause of people playing games. If anything, I would say it's the opposite. The games and the fun and the addictiveness of it all are the prime cause.

i have one friend who would be the first to be addicted to the "net" back in the bbs days he became enthralled with the idea of being someone else. his life sucked and he hated public interaction. As much as we tried to help he saw our attempt to help as us bragging to him about how great we were. For him, he started out socially inept and has become more so throughout the years. Games, internet and chatrooms were a symtom of a greater problem.

But ya, not everyone has it occur from that direction.

My take on games. I have played a few and been obsessed until I beat them. But, the thrill is gone. (and not just because I am an old geezer now if anyone was thinking that!)

No matter what they portrary, it is not near as exciting as my life. This to me is the secret. Live life to the fullest and you don't need the entertainment. I only seek entertainment as a mean to bore me enough to fall asleep. :D

If you look at life like some kind of adventure game where you pick up abilities and resources along the way to make you capable of doing more and more things - it can get very interesting. I have always been fascinated with acquiring skills and at times, resources. Perhaps it is a touch of paranoia. :lol: But believe me, when some troll like person tries to sneak up on me, boy do they get a rude surprise. :D

The fun part for me as I am playing my "games", my family is doing better and better and my future is looking brighter and brighter. Inside a virtual world, you only have a virtual score - outside you can take it to the bank if you know what I mean.

just googled social networking world of warcraft (http://www.google.com/search?num=100&hl=en&safe=off&q=social+networking+world+of+warcraft) - not that big a deal really, only 1.62 million hits :D

Having played WoW religiously for a while I have to say that at least 2/3rds of the attraction is the social side.

hehe, just cleaned for my ex - who has always been a gamer (you can be a gamer at any age btw) and I swear the group he took to a raid on Warcraft - was straight out of the Leerrooooooooooy Jenkins vid. :D

I agree with you in regards to your feelings with friends. I know some people who literally meet a person aka acquaintance, and instantly "this is my friend".

Aww, Jon, you're making me blush. :p

But seriously, reading the last paragraph of your OP, I think you answered your own question. From my interaction with you (and we have to get together for another ride - it's been too long), I think you would die - emotionally if not literally - without face-to-face, personal interaction. I think you need it like you need air to breathe.

Yes, putting yourself out there to make a real connection with someone else means putting yourself at risk of being hurt. And the hurt will happen, sometimes because you misjudged someone or they misjudged you, sometimes because of misunderstandings, sometimes because of outside forces beyond anyone's control. But -- and this, I think, is key -- if you don't take the risks, you will never find the joy, the fulfillment, the bliss that only comes from truly connecting with someone on a deep, emotional level.

I'm not talking just about the connection with a serious Significant Other, although that is certainly one example. It can also be with family members or friends. If you are really fortunate, as I have been, you can experience it with all of the above.

Speaking from the perspective of one whose 20+ year marriage is ending, and who lost an incredibly close friend this year, I can truly say that I do not regret for one second having either of these people in my life. Yes, there has been a great deal of pain that has resulted directly from my relationships with these two. But that pain is massively overwhelmed by the good things my soon-to-be-ex-wife and my deceased friend brought to my life. I am a better, more complete person for having connected with them, and I would not trade that for anything.

As for the gamer-vs.-social life debate, it's a false dichotomy. T'ain't no reason why you can't do both - bunches of folk do. There will be extreme examples at either end of the spectrum, but I suspect that the reality is that the vast majority of gamers do, in fact, have what non-gamers would call "a life."

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/lolcats-funny-pictures-leroy-jenkins.jpg

A lot of people just don't enjoy social interaction, it's not even because they're bad at it. I can go into a party where I don't know anyone and have fun, but you know what, most of the time I'd rather be at home reading a book, playing a game, or outside riding my bike. Hell, I like having a girlfriend around to spend time with but I enjoy being single just as much in the end because I'm a very personal sort of character and enjoy time spent by myself.

I'll go through periods of time where I'm out every night, spend time with my friends in person or on the phone, travel around the country on trips with friends, all that... but after that I tend to need decompression time and lock myself away for a week or three in my apartment/bike/work and don't talk to anyone.

In the end I'm happy with my life and that's all that really matters.

I'd been thinking

You didn't hurt yourself, did you?

Sometimes these people do meet, they have LAN parties.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/113/290314232_c2d94cd52a.jpg?v=0

And when they do, interaction with one another is at a premium. :D