Foo - An Age Question

Here is one that always stumped me. How much older or younger will you date? Is it a percentage of your age or a set number? Does it matter if the people in question are 20 or 50. For example, I'm 26, how far older and younger does everyone think is appropriate? My general rule of thumb is 6 years either way. What about you?

5 years either way. When i was 19 I dated a 29 year old. Best and worse move of my life all in one.

I have no general rule of thumb it depends on the person. How mature they are, where they are in life etc. With that being said I did see a guy that was 10 years younger then me. It was fun while it lasted :)

^^^ Yep. As long as he is mature enough to handle responsiblities and take care of himself. As long as he's not to the point where his dependency is keeping us from growing together.

I was going to post my answer, but since I haven't really been on a "date" in years...I don't think it really matters. :rolleyes:

edit: change years to 'ever'

^ true, it does depend on the person. But it also depends on your age when you do it. When I was 19, there was WAY too much ground between thmyself and the 29 year old I was dateing. I'm 33 now, I would venture to say that I could date a 40 year old and actually have enough in common with them to have a feesable relationship.

I have no general rule of thumb it depends on the person. How mature they are, where they are in life etc.
+1. I was involved with a guy 13 years older than me. Except for his criminally-oriented teenage daughter and all that went with that, it was fine. I almost got involved with someone 10 years younger than me. His age was not the reason why it didn't work out.

I'll try nearly anything once. :)

It really depends on the maturity, life experience, values, and goals of the two parties involved, doesn't it? There must be some basic compatibility in these areas to have a strong and enduring relationship, regardless of whether the age difference is thirty years or zero.

I was going to post my answer, but since I haven't really been on a "date" in years...I don't think it really matters. :rolleyes:

edit: change years to 'ever'

WHAT??? You should be dating a ton of girls right now. Having fun. Thats what college is all about :)

+1. I was involved with a guy 13 years older than me. Except for his criminally-oriented teenage daughter and all that went with that, it was fine. I almost got involved with someone 10 years younger than me. His age was not the reason why it didn't work out.

I'll try nearly anything once. :)


:eek:

WHAT??? You should be dating a ton of girls right now. Having fun. Thats what college is all about :)

Gee, thanks for the tip. :p

I ask because I just met a girl that's 18. That is 8 years. I'm trying to decide if I really like her for her (which I think I do) or if it's just a product of lack of other choices here in Africa. Obviously I'm not jumping into something serious because I just met her and I know she's still young. But at this point I wouldn't fight her off either, I just don't know if it's too big of a gap.

Gee, thanks for the tip. :p


your welcome and I forgot studying :) :D

For all the aforementioned reasons, the "gap" usually shouldn't matter. But for those that it does, IMHO it gets larger as you get older (5 yrs +/- at age 25 might become 10 yrs at 50 or 60).

For me, the age difference doesn't matter, but I found that many women are sensitive that they may be too old for a younger fellow.

I agree with what has been said about matching personality and compatibility overcoming any age barrier. If there is happiness to be found and the relationship is a healthy one, then the age "thing" becomes less of a problem. The biggest issues seem to be when maturity levels don't match up. When I was 17, I dated a 26 year old and I really was not ready for any type of relationship that would stand the test of time. I simply was not mature enough to understand the feelings I had for this person or even what my emotions were telling me at that time. I was certainly not able to handle communication on a deeper level because I was still trying to figure out who I was. Lucky53s, I don't have a problem with an age gap, but you may want to consider the maturity level of this particular 18 y/o before moving forward. You are old enough to know what you seek in another person, take your time to evaluate what is motivating you towards dating this girl.

+1. I was involved with a guy 13 years older than me. Except for his criminally-oriented teenage daughter and all that went with that, it was fine. I almost got involved with someone 10 years younger than me. His age was not the reason why it didn't work out.

I'll try nearly anything once. :)

:beer:

I ask because I just met a girl that's 18. That is 8 years. I'm trying to decide if I really like her for her (which I think I do) or if it's just a product of lack of other choices here in Africa. Obviously I'm not jumping into something serious because I just met her and I know she's still young. But at this point I wouldn't fight her off either, I just don't know if it's too big of a gap.
Just be careful. There's a far greater age difference between 18 and 26 than, say, 30 and 38. I was a mature 18, Lucky, but I was still a teenager. If you do this - and I'm not saying don't - you will be the one who has to take responsibility for a great many things. Lower your expectations in the maturity department. On the other hand, I'm sure you are lonely and would just like some companionship. There's nothing wrong with that. Caution would be the key word here.

Does she have her family there?

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dating_pools.png

I was going to post my answer, but since I haven't really been on a "date" in years...I don't think it really matters. :rolleyes:

edit: change years to 'ever'

You must have quite a grip. :D

I'm 29 and I'm not gonna say how old my boyfriend is because he'd kill me, but let's just say that he has kids older than me.
We've been together 7+ years and everything's great for us. Some people freak out on us sometimes, but oh well. What can you do? Our families are both over it. Dealing with other people's reactions to it is not easy by any means - it gets really exhausting having to explain myself all the time, but he's worth it.

Edit: XKCD FTW!!

If anything happens it's going to take a while. We are just hanging out now and will see if anything comes of it. She has no family here either so it will be nice even if we are just friends, it will give us someone to hangout with. If anything more comes of it I'm worried it would just be for fun because in August she goes back to Scotland and I leave here for FL in September. But for now friends is a good place to be.

(since Mal stole my post, I'll have to actually answer the question...)

*shrug*

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dating_pools.png

Hey Mal, you're in my age range right? Wanna come teach English in Africa for the next year? We can't ride bikes but we can find some camels I'm sure.

You must have quite a grip. :D

:lol:

no comment

Lately I've been dating women that are 8 or 9 years younger than I am. I think it has to do with the fact that graduate school arrests your personal development. What I mean is that my lifestyle isn't much different than it was when I entered school in my mid twenties. Women my age who are single and working in their careers don't have much of an interest in a guy who's just scraping by while working on his Ph.D.

Like others have said, it's fun while it lasts but I have no desire to enter into a serious relationship with someone who is going through early twenties stuff. I'm just worried that I'm now completely out of touch with people my own age who are not graduate students.

My partner is 7 years older than me.

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dating_pools.png

Hahaha...:D:D

Wel,, v1k1ng, you won't be a graduate student forever....so, no worries!

While I am not an advocate of going to the nursing home to pick up chicks, I'd say it's a mistake to say "nope, you're 3 months past the cutoff I set". Compatibility is compatibility. Might miss out on fun times if you set a limit.

Wel,, v1k1ng, you won't be a graduate student forever....so, no worries!

That's what you think! :cry:

That's what you think! :cry:

ahhh...one of those "career students" I see....:rolleyes:

I ask because I just met a girl that's 18.

Obviously I missed something--last I knew you still had a girlfriend?

The youngest I've dated was 4 years younger (recently, so that put him at 22)... I don't think this is age-related, but he brought out the silly side in me, which is the part of me that I like the most. ;) I don't like being serious all the time, where there's no joking around, so I had a lot fun with him while it lasted. I also dated someone 10 years older, but he didn't seem that much older.

I'll date females 1 year younger or the same age as me

Why no older girls, Max?

WEll age is not really important as long as what you have between your ears works the right way. Having said that, some relationships with a large age diference might not work for a long run (like marriage) but they sure can provide an exciting and fulfilling life. Lets take age by itself. I once heard an older friend , in her late forties, that was getting divorce say the following:
My next relationship will be with fellows that are about 50. Yup, two 25 year old guys at the same time, they add 50. One that is like a lion in bed with a body to die for and the other a lil efeminate and he must like house chores so he can do dinner, dishes, laundry, etc. etc. That will be my perfect relationship!
Thus, if you are in colllege and are looking to date older women why not date two 20 year olds at the same time..... it all adds up doesn't it???? :) :P

I have seen couples with +-10 years who are perfectly happy. So its more about the people than the age differenve.

Personally, it has been +4 and -2 for me. Not surprising given that my friends circle is usually tends to be a bit on the older side and I am attracted towards stronger independent women.

All of that being said,

Try this 42(guy) and 65(girl). Yea I didn't believe them.

ahhh...one of those "career students" I see....:rolleyes:

No, a few years ago, amidst political intrigue of the highest order, my department collapsed and my committee scattered to the four corners. They're all very supportive but in that "sorry to leave you hanging" way. So I'm kind of stuck working as an adjunct until they can hire back enough profs for me to form a reasonable committee and graduate. Had things worked out as planned, I would have had a job by now. Unfortunately you can't exactly sue for a Ph.D.

I've sort of gotten used to this situation, but it basically precludes you from forming serious relationships because you don't know where you're going to be working in the next six months. I think that is a big reason why I have been tending towards the younger women that don't expect as much. It just makes things a lot easier.

No, a few years ago, amidst political intrigue of the highest order, my department collapsed and my committee scattered to the four corners. They're all very supportive but in that "sorry to leave you hanging" way. So I'm kind of stuck working as an adjunct until they can hire back enough profs for me to form a reasonable committee and graduate. Had things worked out as planned, I would have had a job by now. Unfortunately you can't exactly sue for a Ph.D.

I've sort of gotten used to this situation, but it basically precludes you from forming serious relationships because you don't know where you're going to be working in the next six months. I think that is a big reason why I have been tending towards the younger women that don't expect as much. It just makes things a lot easier.
geez, that's a tough spot. Glad to hear that things are sort of working their way out for you. Well, have fun while you can!

Try this 42(guy) and 65(girl). Yea I didn't believe them.

Hmm. 23 years. How's it working out?

When I was dating I had a 10 year rule, that is to say, they had to be at least 10 years older than my daughter (she was 16).

When I was dating I had a 10 year rule, that is to say, they had to be at least 10 years oldI'm so glad this was not the end of your post.

:p

Here is one that always stumped me. How much older or younger will you date? Is it a percentage of your age or a set number? Does it matter if the people in question are 20 or 50. For example, I'm 26, how far older and younger does everyone think is appropriate? My general rule of thumb is 6 years either way. What about you?

I would guess it has to do with the level of activity, priorities, and goals. The more these items are in-line, the wider the age gap can be. You can be the same age, and with these not in-line, fugataboutit.

Generally what everyone says about as you get older, the gap opens up. That's when you are close to the norm, the further away you are from the norm the less this might hold true?

I guess if we use the half your age plus 7 rule then I could be dating 28 year old women and women as old as 70 could consider me an appropriate date.

I got married when I was 24 to a woman who was 15 years older than me... she had bigger issues with this than I did and I think the combination of not being able to have children and an affection for my best friend (who was older) probably caused our separation.

My current ex is 36 and we still maintain a pretty good relationship as we do have children and those little butterflies are the most important people in our respective worlds even those worlds are otherwise very very different.

The 28-70 year olds will have to wait as it would seem that this rather wonderful thirty something girl has gone and stolen my heart.

I've dated as much as +10 and -9 (right now I seem to have a younger trend going on :p).

I've been asked out by as much as +23, and been hit on by +50 (approximately). :eek:

Hmm. 23 years. How's it working out?

They are married and they have 6 or 5yo(currently) twins.

She had a kid at 60??? Wow. That must be a miracle!

I know right. At least I'm pretty sure that is her age.

Well good for them, Fuzz. :)

A good rule of thumb is x/2+10 where x = your age. I'm 39, so I could date someone who is 29-30 and not feel creepy.

Of course, the only upper end is your personal tolerance for wrinkles.