Jokes & Humor - Golf Jokes

I was playing this hole one time with a senior citizen and just as he was about ready to hit his tee shot he noticed a funeral procession approaching. He took off his hat, put it over his heart, and stood silently and watched the procession go by until it disappeared.


I said, "That's really nice of you. Do you always do that when a funeral goes by?"


He said "No, not usually, but I it's the least I could do in this case. I was married to the woman for 40 years!"

During a Lamaze class, the instructor emphasized the importance of exercise, hinting strongly that husbands need to get out and start walking with their wives. From the back of the room one expectant father inquired, "Would it be okay if she carries a bag of golf clubs while she walks?"

A Scottsman tells an American how in Scotland, they play golf even when there is snow on the ground.

The American asks him: "So when you golf in the snow, do you paint your balls black?"

The Scottsman replies: "No, I just wear a heavier kilt!"

The golf course for the Victoria Falls Country Club has three holes next to the Zambesi River. A special rule is that if your ball lands within one club length of a croc you get a free drop. For a hippo the rule is two club lengths. Naturally if an animal disturbs your ball you have to play it where they drop it. A club member I met at the Casino across the road said the Club Pro had trained a baboon to pick up His ball at one hole and drop it in the cup.