Living Car Free - How do I dorkify my utility beater in a hurry?

Just got a bike from goodwill to save on gas money. I spent $5 bucks on it and it is a beauty, which is my problem. I don't have time for it to get stolen and I live in a high-theft area. So I'll lock it carefully and replace quick releases and such with bolts.

Users here have commented numerously that ugly bikes (seem to) get stolen less.

What are some good ways to uglify this thing real fast, real cheaply? :) Bonus points if it's fun.

Thanks and nice to find you all here on these forums.
Hop

paint it pink... maybe tempra paint which will wash off later

I've heard the reasoning about going with an ugly bike, but I don't like that course of action. A well-made bicycle should be a thing of beauty, even if it's just going to be your utility ride.

In your high-theft area, take the bike into your building with you. It will be safest there. When you're out, use a good quality lock, even if it means popping off the front wheel when you lock up. Also, if you have a quick release on the seat post, replace it with a bolt.

Your concept is correct. I know guys who have made their bikes unattractive and it works.
You've already mentioned removing all QRs. Hobby shops have "fading" or "ageing" paint that is used to age box cars on model trains. It dries with a dull, speckled dirty appearance. OR, take some dirt, mix with a little water and rub it on with a damp sponge. It will dry dull. I know one guy that put bannana stickers from the bannanas he ate, on his bike. If you can obtain decal material put "Huffy" on it. You'd be surprized how knowledgable thieves are. Use a beater seat if you have one. Be sure to cover shiny chrome with a film of dirt.

Roccobike, that was the answer I was looking for. This article (http://bikehacks.com/8-ways-to-ugly-your-bike/) suggests some of the same things. Pretty useful. Thanks man

My $100 mountain bike was stolen. So not all thieves are knowledgeable.

Bolt a flowerpot to the handlebars, plant a hardy annual. A ridiculously original addition like this will make it impossible for any theif to ride the bike without risking being caught by the cops or the owner of the bike, inhibiting any impulse they felt to steal your ride.

I think it depends on the location. Around here if it rolls it will get stolen, maybe not right away but sooner or later somebody will steal it. The flashier the more likely it is to get grabbed.

Aaron:)

Duct tape. Put it all over the bike and you're golden!

My $100 mountain bike was stolen. So not all thieves are knowledgeable.

Mine too. And the thief left me a trade-in--an old Fuji in great shape that the fixies would pay good money for.

I've heard the reasoning about going with an ugly bike, but I don't like that course of action. A well-made bicycle should be a thing of beauty, even if it's just going to be your utility ride.

In your high-theft area, take the bike into your building with you. It will be safest there. When you're out, use a good quality lock, even if it means popping off the front wheel when you lock up. Also, if you have a quick release on the seat post, replace it with a bolt.

I agree but as a last resort nothing beats a can of flat black spray paint!;)

Having a relatively cheap transportation bike is the only solution. It's probably a good idea to have 2 of them and not worry about uglifying them. With all the money you save using a bike, you should be well able to afford a $100 used bike every year or so.

Having a relatively cheap transportation bike is the only solution. It's probably a good idea to have 2 of them and not worry about uglifying them. With all the money you save using a bike, you should be well able to afford a $100 used bike every year or so.

That works...I have had small fleet of Huffy Baypoint 3 speeds that are basically disposable, paid $20 or less for them, put another $30-$50 into them for tires, tubes and possibly cables. Then usually add a Wald medium sized basket to the front. Still would get pissed if one got stolen tho.:(

Aaron:)

Just curious as to where the OP lives. . .

Cheap reflective tape, does double duty, any "Fred" style accessories that are uglyfying and useful,
rack, front basket, you know, anything that adds weight. Eventually, it'll look like my bike....

Just curious as to where the OP lives. . .

Careful. He might think you want his bike. :rolleyes:

What are some good ways to uglify this thing real fast, real cheaply? :) Bonus points if it's fun.

How about lumpy spackle. You can color it. Papier mache might be good too. Just remember to tear it not cut it if you want a smooth surface.

Just curious as to where the OP lives. . .

I live at a major university in Virginia. Not particularly dangerous, but definitely a lot of bike theft.

Alright, here's the roundup of what I have done so far, let me know what you think:
---Got an antiquing kit to make some spokes and other hardware look rusty
---Got some crap brown-colored "texture" spraypaint
---duct tape
---zip tied an old milk crate to the back rack
---replaced the seatpost QR with a bolt
---will hacksaw the full length grip shifter down to 1/3rd length and use some ghettotastic off-color handle for the rest

Probably overkill, but it's to the point where I'm having fun with it. Cause, you know, bikes are fun.

What are

"Fred" style accessories
?

Roody, that's crazy that the thief left you another bike. Crazy.

OP--are you majoring in theatre (set design)? Sounds like you would be a great propmaster. ;)

Haha! Good call, Roody. I'm actually getting a degree in recreation ecology. I can say with some empirical backing that you mountain bikers, though you piss off hikers mightily, build the best trails of all. :) IMBA really has their stuff together.

I like the idea of painting it pink. Maybe adding streamers.

You can also stencil your name or something else on it.

If you don't want to bother painting it at all, why not invest in another heavy duty lock, and just chain it somewhere very public.


/doh didn't read your last post. Ah well, carry on!

Last week somebody dumped off an old cheap badly rusted bmx in our parking lot when they were dropping off some recycling in our recycling bins. At first we figured that they might comeback for it, until we went and got the bike, completely covered in rust, brakes were completely locked up, there wasn't an item on this bike that didn't need to be replaced (except maybe the seat post it actually looked ok). We brought the bike in our store for about a day to see if the owner would come back to retrieve it. Though like we figured he didn't come. So we put the bike outside on the bike rack with only a zip tie holding it to the rack. Just to see if it would get stolen and it did. Basically I don't think you can uglyify a bike to the point it wouldn't get stolen. This one was ugly and not functional and still stolen. Though to our surprise it lasted three days before getting stolen.

Basically I don't think you can uglyify a bike to the point it wouldn't get stolen.

Perhaps the owner finally did reclaim it?

My ride is an old POS mongoose worth probably what I paid for it, but its utility value to me is much higher. So, I'm trying to widen the spread on the desirability on mine versus the nice roadie bikes on the rack I lock to. So far so good. :)

Hop

Basically I don't think you can uglyify a bike to the point it wouldn't get stolen. This one was ugly and not functional and still stolen.
I think there's some truth to this.

I'd go with the Sheldon Brown approach. Get two locks of two different types: a solid U-lock and a cable with built-in lock. It takes two different tools to defeat this combination.

http://www.sheldonbrown.com/lock-strategy.html

I wonder if it's possible to uglify a bike with PANACHE! You know, the kind of job that makes observers think, "man, that is one fugly piece of crap, but at least the owner knows it..." ;)

Well, if you're at VCU, you're in bike theft central.

My advice is to spend the money you saved on not one, but two, heavy duty locks, on U lock and one cable lock.

Make the thief have an eaisier time stealing that brand new Magna parked next to you.

And if you're in RVA, don't put any of that fixed gear stuff on it, like velocity deep Vs.

Perhaps the owner finally did reclaim it?

My ride is an old POS mongoose worth probably what I paid for it, but its utility value to me is much higher. So, I'm trying to widen the spread on the desirability on mine versus the nice roadie bikes on the rack I lock to. So far so good. :)

Hop
Actually we know exactly who took it, we saw the beggar outside who comes every Wednesday to harass the restaurant patrons in the parking lot on their busiest night of the week that is next to our shop. He comes every Wednesday and I see him parking lot of other restaurants on their busy nights. Anyway I told my boss I think he is going to take it because he started pacing around it, sure enough it was gone 15 minutes later. Boss saw him this weekend riding it apparently he got it rolling somehow, scary the brakes were completely froze up. This was a mongoose bmx.

i bought a GT mountain bike years ago. it was bright pink. oh yeah. had it 10-15 years, ohio and chicago. never stolen. people gave me sh*t about my pink bike, but it was pretty safe to leave anywhere...

I've had two bikes stolen. The first one was unlocked behind a movie theater ("No one will see it there!" :rolleyes:) and the second was locked in front of the house with a cable lock.

As much as I like having a pretty bike, I'm with you on the whole uglifying it to keep it safe idea. I've been thinking about that, too. Maybe making it smell bad would help, too? Like a dog poop perfume. Maybe a hidden odor releaser, and when you come to pick up your bike you put the stinky thing in it's odor-sealing container so you don't have to smell it on the ride home.

I keep the bike in the house when it's not in use (ok, it's not my bike it's the guy's bike). No need to expose it to shifty eyes unnecessarily.

Photograph your bike. Does it help? I don't know, but it won't hurt.

If your bike does get stolen, write down the date of the theft ASAP! The police won't take a report if you don't give them the exact day it happened.

Also, I have a new locking strategy. Instead of buying something designed for bikes, I got a chain (like the kind you'd lock up a motorcycle with) and a "contractor grade" padlock, looks pretty solid and hard to cut. The "hook" or whatever you call it doesn't stick out from the lock, it's sorta part of it which would make it hard to get a cutter in there to snap it. It's got a key lock. Don't know much about key locks or how hard it would be to pick, so might want to combine it with a combination lock for extra safety. Normally the lock would connect the two ends of the chain together. ;) I got it the lock at the grocery store, don't know where the guy got the chain. Here it is:

Photograph your bike. Does it help? I don't know, but it won't hurt.

Another good thing is that after photographing it, take it into a digital photo program, Photoshop, Microsoft Paint etc, and include your name, address, phone etc and the make, model and serial number into the photograph. That way you have it all in one. Then save a digital copy and print out a copy.

Also, I have a new locking strategy. Instead of buying something designed for bikes, I got a chain (like the kind you'd lock up a motorcycle with) and a "contractor grade" padlock, looks pretty solid and hard to cut. The "hook" or whatever you call it doesn't stick out from the lock, it's sorta part of it which would make it hard to get a cutter in there to snap it. It's got a key lock. Don't know much about key locks or how hard it would be to pick, so might want to combine it with a combination lock for extra safety.
A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. ;) The reason some suggest two different types of locks is because they require two different types of tools to destroy 'em. With a chain you could just cut a link and suddenly that big fancy contractor's lock doesn't seem so solid.

Okie doke. The uglification abides. The most fun part was making the aluminum rims look rusty with textured spraypaint, then rust-colored spraypaint. AL now rusts! Haha!

What is the recommendation for a good D-shaped lock? My plan is for a kryptonite evolution to compliment the cable lock I already have, but it is so darn expensive...

take a look at the rustoleum site. They have lots of neat spray paints. They even have on I've been looking into that reflective.

Did Kryptonite ever fix the thing where you could pick the lock with a bic pen? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2vLtpVPqhI

Cover it with Disney Princess stickers.

Did Kryptonite ever fix the thing where you could pick the lock with a bic pen? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2vLtpVPqhI

Yes...but there are still some locks out there that still use the round style key. Krypto no longer does.

Aaron:)

Yes...but there are still some locks out there that still use the round style key. Krypto no longer does.

Aaron:)

For those who are new here, Bikeforums was where the whole scandal of the bic pens was first exposed (http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=67493).

(I know this is off topic, but it's one more thing to be proud of about this great forum we belong to. :))

In some places here, it's so bad,, Huffy Stickers won't help, a girls Murray MTB is stolen as fast as anything, I paid for protection years ago, cost me a Budweiser everytime I left home, but nothing moved.

I paid for protection years ago, cost me a Budweiser everytime I left home, but nothing moved.

Bike theft mafiosos! "Eh Vinnie! Nycycle here is delinquent on his 'payment'?" *hefts a bat* "I hope you don't need your knees, Mr. Nycycle..."

So this must be what happened to the bike I just picked up at goodwill. Man is it ugly! It is black with gold spots/splotches, and the handlebars are taped up with electrical tape. It even says Huffy (though I suspect it may actually BE a huffy...).

But, it has good tires, and rack on the back with baskets, and works fine. Perhaps I will re-think painting it.

Dawn

I'd go for rapid rusting of non-critical parts. Use some carbide grit sand paper to cut through any decorative chrome plating.

if you have a quick release on the seat post, replace it with a bolt.

+1 vote...been there, lost that

I just never clean my bike. 99.9% of people here don't think bikes have any monetary value.

The ultimate uglification: Get three colors of spray paint and lay it on thick. Spray every thing on the bike in a random fashion except the seat and grips (unless you want to get paint on your hands and pants). Spray paint will scratch easily over time which will just add to the ugly.

Why are you this worried about a $5 bike?? It seems like you've probably spent as much on making it ugly as you did buying it.

My utility bike / commuter has a special security system that I got from SixtyCo. (see below)

I also carry a big assed shackle and am careful where I park my rides while some are simply never left unattended due to their nearly irreplaceable nature.

I have had more than a few people tell me they'd love to have my beater" bikes and the thieves really will steal anything that isn't locked down. If they aren't pros then they are either opportunistic riders or meth heads.

http://www.ravingbikefiend.com/bikepics/yukiandmags.jpg

Barring that...just spend some of the money you saved on a good lock as the SixtyCo Mags 3000 doesn;t come cheap as she needs her own wardrobe and winter gear.

Just spend the 80 bucks or so to get a NY Lock, lock it and forget it. You're basically using the world's best lock, so might as well cut out the worrying. My bike's pretty, and I still don't worry. Use your old u-lock to lock up the other wheel and you're set. I've actually found that 2 u-locks are less of a ***** than one u-lock plus one cable.

Why are you this worried about a $5 bike?? It seems like you've probably spent as much on making it ugly as you did buying it.

That is a legitimate question, and one I have been tracking closely.

The utility value of the bike:

saving $3.50 a gallon around here
not having to give up competitive parking spots here on campus
an opportunity to teach myself bike maintenance
an easy means of getting myself out-of-doors more
cross training against marathon runs, so I'm less sore overall
chiseled legs :)
a new hobby and way to meet interesting people
a means of exploring interesting out-of-the-way spots around town


is greater than the bike's market value, $5. That's why I want to do what I can to lessen the chance of it getting stolen. If it DOES get stolen, then I lose the maintenance and innertubes and saddle I put into it to make it ridable and safe in the first place.

If your bike has a handbars, saddle, wheels, frame, and is in a rideable condition, it will be attractive to some thief somewhere. Don't concentrate on the "looks" of the bike. Concentrate on making the bike not being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I avoid this problem by using folding bikes exclusively and taking them with me at all times.

Just because a bike cost $5.00 does not mean that it's value is $5.00.

This one initially cost me $10.00 and I put a fair bit of work and parts into her and she never leaves my sight.

http://www.ravingbikefiend.com/bikepics/73Carlton45view.jpg
1973 Carlton built Raleigh Gran Sports

If it's unlocked and has wheels, someone will grab it where I am - regardless of what it looks like. I've found that just a half decent covered steel cable with integrated lock does the trick, although I intend to get a second lock to be more safe. Really, if someone wants to steal your bike they will - I find it best to add enough deterrent (ie, hard to cut cabling) so that they go steal someone else's bike or just move on.