Foo - cocaine

guy at work- makes fun of chubby and fat people in front of others. cant turn down a challenge because he is too badazz, hethniks.



he called me some sort of fatty name i front of others


so i figure, he has no idea what i can do on a bike, why dont i 'challenge' him to a race since hes in such greatttt shape?

of course, he was happy and agreed to destroy me! he kept laughing because he knows he will win :)

however

does he realize i am a time trial specialist?

does he realize the agony that awaits him?

"normal" people that know nothing of the cycling world that race someone such as i must be ready to look very stupid. :)

for i will

eat oreas

orea

oreos

mmmmmmmmmmmm

animals!

make that.

into

viaaaaaaaa

mass transit! :)

kick his ass

What the hell was that?

cocaine?

So, when's the race?

Can we put down bets?

East Hill

I don't get the thread title, but good luck. :)

does this guy own a bike?

does this guy own a bike?

A Scott Speedster...

East Hill

If you wanna hang out youve got to take her out; cocaine.

guy at work- makes fun of chubby and fat people in front of others. cant turn down a challenge because he is too badazz, hethniks.



he called me some sort of fatty name i front of others


so i figure, he has no idea what i can do on a bike, why dont i 'challenge' him to a race since hes in such greatttt shape?

of course, he was happy and agreed to destroy me! he kept laughing because he knows he will win :)

however

does he realize i am a time trial specialist?

does he realize the agony that awaits him?

"normal" people that know nothing of the cycling world that race someone such as i must be ready to look very stupid. :)

for i will

eat oreas

orea

oreos

mmmmmmmmmmmm

animals!


Did you win?

all your blow are belong to us!

cocaine?I'm not a big fan of it, but I like the way it smells.

cocaine?

She don't lie;
She don't lie;
She don't lie;
Cocaine.

Him and I shall race in a few weeks I'm sure.

I will let him use my denali with MTB gearing, since hes soooo good it wont matter anyway, right? He just said "any bike."


Not a chance he's getting on my Scott.

guy at work- makes fun of chubby and fat people in front of others. cant turn down a challenge because he is too badazz, hethniks.



he called me some sort of fatty name i front of others


so i figure, he has no idea what i can do on a bike, why dont i 'challenge' him to a race since hes in such greatttt shape?

of course, he was happy and agreed to destroy me! he kept laughing because he knows he will win :)

however

does he realize i am a time trial specialist?

does he realize the agony that awaits him?

"normal" people that know nothing of the cycling world that race someone such as i must be ready to look very stupid. :)

for i will

eat oreas

orea

oreos

mmmmmmmmmmmm

animals!

Two options...1) bury him right off the line, subsequently making it clear it was effortless on your part. 2)Make it long enough that you can check out his riding ability, then sandbag a little by giving him a lead while you're huffing and puffing. Then when he starts talking smack, DROP HIS ASS.:D And maybe have an audience of coworkers to watch.

did you wear your lampre kit for the challenge?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v223/botto/fatguyinspandex.jpg

Audience of coworkers... thats my goal! and i would like to match his pace for 7 miles or so, and then the last 3 i will just completely and totally annihilate him. :)

does he realize i am a time trial specialist?
Are you?

Just sit in. If he thinks he's a badass, he'll probably try to take the lead. Let him. Suck wheel and then pull around in the final 50m.

Just sit in. If he thinks he's a badass, he'll probably try to take the lead. Let him. Suck wheel and then pull around in the final 50m.

That's mint. I like that idea the best!

that's a very good song

Definitely sandbag! Let him lead, let him be cocky, push him a little to make sure he's riding at his limit, then about two miles from the finish, drop him like a rock. By the time he finishes you will already be completely recovered. Make sure there is an audience at the finish! Make sure betting is involved!

I did this years ago. A co-worker had lost a lot of weight at the gym on the bicycle machine and thought he was bad-ass. I knew the gym was no substitute for real riding so I challenged him to an out-and-back race on a bike path (about 15 miles). I was on a mountain bike, no suspension but it had knobby tires. I let him set the pace, about 20 mph. Within 5 minutes I knew I was going to win. His breathing was already elevated and I could tell he could not sustain the pace; he didn't know what he was doing. Near the turn-around point, the path turned into the wind and I left him in the dust and waited for him at the turnaround point. He went past me and lingered a few minutes about 30 yards away. As he came back I thought he was going to stop, but he flew past at full speed. Took me a mile or so to catch up with him, but again he was going at an unsustainable pace. About two miles from the end the path turned into the wind again and I left him in the dust. By the time he got to the finish I was completely recovered, my breathing was normal, heart beat was a little over resting. Ten minutes later we were back at the office and I looked at him and his face was still red and breathing a bit hard. I said "Are you OK?" and he said "Yeah I'm fine" but it was obvious he was still suffering.

The take home message: it is fun to punish ignorant cockiness. It's one thing to be a real bad-ass but insufferable, quite another to be an idiot who needs to be put in his place.

Eat some of these beofore you race. :)
http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/1369/p3160378vv8.jpg


Saw this over at crazyguyonabike today and felt like it would be wrong not to post it here.
original page:
http://www.crazyguyonabike.com/doc/page/?o=3Tzut&page_id=71844&v=3T

Eat some of these before you race. :)

Love the logo of the Peruvian girl. Like Red Bull, it gives you wings!

And what happens if he just happens to be a good bike rider and kicks your (apparently) fat ass into oblivion?

Better Buzz Methinks...

http://www.crazyguyonabike.com/pics/crazyguyonabike/docs/00/00/14/19/small/P3160362.JPG?v=3p

cocaine is a helluva drug.

http://www.hitparade.ch/cdimages/rick_james-super_freak_s.jpg

Don't do it! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIWIv5xhfp0)

Wasnt this an episode of The Office?

Definitely sandbag! Let him lead, let him be cocky, push him a little to make sure he's riding at his limit, then about two miles from the finish, drop him like a rock. By the time he finishes you will already be completely recovered. Make sure there is an audience at the finish! Make sure betting is involved!

I did this years ago. A co-worker had lost a lot of weight at the gym on the bicycle machine and thought he was bad-ass. I knew the gym was no substitute for real riding so I challenged him to an out-and-back race on a bike path (about 15 miles). I was on a mountain bike, no suspension but it had knobby tires. I let him set the pace, about 20 mph. Within 5 minutes I knew I was going to win. His breathing was already elevated and I could tell he could not sustain the pace; he didn't know what he was doing. Near the turn-around point, the path turned into the wind and I left him in the dust and waited for him at the turnaround point. He went past me and lingered a few minutes about 30 yards away. As he came back I thought he was going to stop, but he flew past at full speed. Took me a mile or so to catch up with him, but again he was going at an unsustainable pace. About two miles from the end the path turned into the wind again and I left him in the dust. By the time he got to the finish I was completely recovered, my breathing was normal, heart beat was a little over resting. Ten minutes later we were back at the office and I looked at him and his face was still red and breathing a bit hard. I said "Are you OK?" and he said "Yeah I'm fine" but it was obvious he was still suffering.

The take home message: it is fun to punish ignorant cockiness. It's one thing to be a real bad-ass but insufferable, quite another to be an idiot who needs to be put in his place.

Your friend might have an ego but it looks like you got the bigger one.

I don't get the thread title, but good luck. :)

I have a feeling he's on cocaine.

I have a feeling he's on cocaine.Perhaps, but you're supposed to go out and attempt to get laid, not post on teh internetz about hypothetical bike races, when you toot coke.

Perhaps, but you're supposed to go out and attempt to get laid, not post on teh internetz about hypothetical bike races, when you toot coke.

Good point. What happens if you're just a loser coke head though. Party by yourself, ya know...

loser coke head
No such thing. :D

No such thing. :D

Another good point.

she's alright

I'm not a big fan of it, but I like the way it smells.

An oldie but a goodie

did you wear your lampre kit for the challenge?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v223/botto/fatguyinspandex.jpg

If we are talking nose candy a Saeco jersey would be more appropriate