Foo - I hate my new girlfriend...

We had our first date on Thursday morning (I guess she's an early riser) and I found out immediately that she's not much for small talk and likes to get right down to business.

She also has a mean streak and despite being pretty petite she proceeded to beat the ever loving crap out of me and forced me into some really un-natural positions... by the time she was done I couldn't feel my legs.

And some of you are already thinking this sounds like a good thing...

I didn't see her over the long weekend as I really needed the time to get the feeling back in my extremities but saw her again this morning and again, she wanted to put me in un-natural positions... it's a good thing I'm pretty flexible and have some great stamina for an old guy.

Because the beating wasn't good enough she then decided to stick a bunch of needles in me and I feel rather guilty in admitting this... I actually liked it.

We'll be doing this all over again tomorrow and I figure that we're gonna have to break up in about three weeks... as that is when the physiotherapy and rehabilitation is supposed to finish.

I am so gonna need painkillers as we're just getting warmed up.

At least they let me ride the trainer...:D

i giggled.

You will grow to love the B*tch

pics or it didn't happen.

:D

I'll see if I can post the MRI results for ya.

I am glad you do not have a hernia.

You will grow to love the B*tch

No... I really can't see this working out in the long term.

A. She's blonde.

and

B. She doesn't ride a bike.

No... I really can't see this working out in the long term.

A. She's blonde.

and

B. She doesn't ride a bike.


Wait... what????? I thought you were talking about a bike! :eek::eek::eek:

I am glad you do not have a hernia.
Would you rather it be a hemmoroid? (sp?)



No... I really can't see this working out in the long term.

A. She's blonde.

and

B. She doesn't ride a bike.

Dude, you have 3 more weeks to convert her to riding a bike...and blondes can be fun.

No... I really can't see this working out in the long term.

A. She's blonde.

and

B. She doesn't ride a bike.

Two great tastes that taste great together.

She will rule you on the bike, man. Don't invite her into that world.


Plus, I tingled after reading your first post :blush: My wife is Plain Jane until I get her half drunk and there's access to porn that she likes.

:roflmao:

I was jealous for a couple of seconds..... wait, maybe I shouldn't admit that.... :o

Remember: Keep Your Crank Out Of The Crank.

Very Important.



Edit.... wait, you're not talking about a bike? This thread is confusing.

Okay... bike stuff.

I did get to do a VO2 test today and Dan, the exercise therapist (and former racer) was a little rocked as even when he loaded up the machine he couldn't get me to hit my max heart rate (178 based my age) and my blood pressure spiked at 130/80... it was 110/70 when I started.

We talked a lot about riding and back injuries and how riding a fixed gear really helps when you don't have as much feeling / strength in one leg due to a nerve impingement.

I am actually looking forward to going in tomorrow as I have things to do that don't involve blonde girls who don't ride bikes and expect that eventually, there will be less pain and more progress.

I got this far:
"She also has a mean streak and despite being pretty petite she proceeded to beat the ever loving crap out of me and forced me into some really un-natural positions... by the time she was done I couldn't feel my legs."
and thought you were talking about being forced to ride a TT bike.

or what happened to me? :eek:

On that topic, why do proctologists all have hands like Virginia hams?:eek:
http://www.onlinewebservice4.de/forumowspix/wall.gif

Would you rather it be a hemmoroid? (sp?)




Dude, you have 3 more weeks to convert her to riding a bike...and blondes can be fun.

Tom... as one of the really stoned guys I can't really tell you why proctologists have hands like Virginia hams as that falls into Cuda's area of expertise.

I can tell you that the thought of ham is making me hungry.

Tom... as one of the really stoned guys I can't really tell you why proctologists have hands like Virginia hams as that falls into Cuda's area of expertise.

I can tell you that the thought of ham is making me hungry.

hmm...ham, hemmoroids, and Tom's escapade.
I'm sensing a common thread at the moment :eek:

Most of that you may be able to learn to love, but the not riding a bike thing...that's just not going to work. I had a rather large but friendly lady stab me in the hiney with two needles today which she promptly massaged a little to ease the pain (I guess). It helped, so I now love her.

So LL... when do we get to meet her ?

And does she ride a bike ?

:D

So LL... when do we get to meet her ?

And does she ride a bike ?

:D


I seriously doubt she rides a bike. :( And, despite loving her for sticking me, I would like to avoid her place of business as much as possible!

we should all be so lucky to have a nice girl to beat us up

stop bragging fiver--

On that topic, why do proctologists all have hands like Virginia hams

OOOOHHHH! Wave off! Wave off!

DAMMIT! Image formed! Scarred for life! :eek:

You are breaking the hearts of all the women of Foo :( .

You need to stick to bikey babes :D !

East Hill

I thought you like dark haired women.

this thread is golden.

I thought you like dark haired women.

;) . And who ride bikes!

East Hill

"I thought you like dark haired women."

"You need to stick to bikey babes :D !"

Yes and yes.

You are breaking the hearts of all the women of Foo.

I hope not.

You are breaking the hearts of all the women of Foo.

I hope not.


You are, but considering how nice the rest of us are, your true love must be a very special person.

East Hill

redacted by Moderators

I just can't see that happening with Sixty Fiver...

East Hill

Well I guess he can just beg mistress whats her name for mercy :(

Well I guess he can just beg mistress whats her name for mercy :(

Mistress Mixte?

Hey, that's me :p !

East Hill

"Take a deep breath, and ask--What would Sheldon do?"
TREMENDOUSLY AWESOME!

"Take a deep breath, and ask--What would Sheldon do?"
TREMENDOUSLY AWESOME!

Let me tell you--I have come to the realisation that Sheldon Brown really was one awesome guy. I do my best to live up to those words, and I come nowhere near being as nice as Captain Bike.

If I ever become half as generous and gracious to others as Sheldon, I will be a much better person.

East Hill

Let me tell you--I have come to the realisation that Sheldon Brown really was one awesome guy. I do my best to live up to those words, and I come nowhere near being as nice as Captain Bike.

If I ever become half as generous and gracious to others as Sheldon, I will be a much better person.

East Hill

ditto :)

Sheldon would suck it up and ride his bike.

So do I.

Sheldon would suck it up and ride his bike.

So do I.

And he would enjoy every minute of it, just as you do!

Are you still waiting on the shortbread?

East Hill

And he would enjoy every minute of it, just as you do!

Are you still waiting on the shortbread?

East Hill

I am...

I am...

Your choice--I can come visit you at home, and make it FRESH...

Or I can make it at me mums, and bring you some :) .

East Hill

Still waiting on that Macadamia goodness...

Mebbe I can bring some to the mistress of pain and her cohorts.

:D

Your choice--I can come visit you at home, and make it FRESH...

Or I can make it at me mums, and bring you some :) .

East Hill

:D It would taste better from your mums... :)

:D It would taste better from your mums... :)

Probably a lot less trouble, too! So, I'll make some batches at me mum's, and use that to bribe everyone to the meet and greets.


Still waiting on that Macadamia goodness...

Mebbe I can bring some to the mistress of pain and her cohorts.

:D

I hope that the Customs Canada people have left you some!

Pretty soon they will start anticipating shipments :p .

East Hill

I knew a girl kinda like this once. OMG! She was great when it was time to get laid. Sigh. But the girl was a real ***** sometimes and it just didn't work. Save your energy and break it off.

I knew a girl kinda like this once. OMG! She was great when it was time to get laid. Sigh. But the girl was a real ***** sometimes and it just didn't work. Save your energy and break it off.

He can't. It's the only thing that gets him out of bed ;) .

East Hill

You are breaking the hearts of all the women of Foo :( .East Hill

+10000

we are all sad now. :(

I'm not sad. He's happy. :)

Probably a lot less trouble, too! So, I'll make some batches at me mum's, and use that to bribe everyone to the meet and greets.

East Hill

:) *does happy dance*

I'm not sad. He's happy. :)

That doesn't mean he hasn't left a trail of broken hearts in his wake, true?

East Hill

oh, i didn't mean it like that....of course, if he's happy, then i'm happy!

I have a few other reasons to get out of bed in the morning... two of them actually.

I have a few other reasons to get out of bed in the morning... two of them actually.


Butterflies are VERY important.

East Hill