"The 33"-Road Bike Racing - I'm a bike dork.

Fact is, I'm just not as cool as the rest of you.

I was a crap athlete in school (I could run, but never at the top of the competition). I played a dozen musical instruments, programmed computers in the early 80's until the present. I carry a 3.98 GPA (5 classes from the BA). I programmed for an online RPG for 6 years. My job is essentially 9 hours a day of trigonometry. In the 34 years of my life, I've always been a dork.

So... what makes me a "bike dork?"

My training logs are as anal retentive as they can be. I've now even programmed my excel spreadsheets in VBA because I don't trust Cyclingpeaks algorithms anymore.

I can tell you how to record Cycling.tv videos with 4 different video capture programs, but I couldn't list more than a dozen bike racers of interest to anyone.

I don't know the difference between Tour of Flanders and Ronde de Vlanderen (or whatever)

I can throw up the victory salute a lap early!

Finally, though I've ridden some 50,0000 km in the last three years in clipless pedals, I can ride over to the light pole with the "Push for the Walk signal", and then successfully TIP OVER when the front wheel catches on the edge of the sidewalk at one of the busiest intersections in the county completely clipped in.

Cheers,
VW

So you are a utterly hopeless bike weenie/dork/nerd, but you are still faster than most of us. Which should be ample consolation. And you do win the high mileage pissing contest every year Nomad.

:beer:

Last I checked, nobody here is in Belgium, where cycling might pass as cool.

Hence: We're ALL dorks. It's a dorky sport. A really, really, really hard - dorky sport.

On the other hand, it'll suffice to say that my dork/nerd credentials are firmly established, enough so that cycling probably makes me less dorky.

Thank you Nomad for owning up to all those power graphs, power numbers and power powers.

New-school bike racer= dork w/ numbers
Old-school bike racer = a-hole w/ something to prove

Lance fit both categories, but everyone else is one or the other. I'm obviously the latter.

Dorks can't be assh*les?

Screw that noise :D

I can tell you how to record Cycling.tv videos with 4 different video capture programs

I love dorks.

PM sent.

Fact is, I'm just not as cool as the rest of you.

I was a crap athlete in school (I could run, but never at the top of the competition). I played a dozen musical instruments, programmed computers in the early 80's until the present. I carry a 3.98 GPA (5 classes from the BA). I programmed for an online RPG for 6 years. My job is essentially 9 hours a day of trigonometry. In the 34 years of my life, I've always been a dork.

So... what makes me a "bike dork?"

My training logs are as anal retentive as they can be. I've now even programmed my excel spreadsheets in VBA because I don't trust Cyclingpeaks algorithms anymore.

I can tell you how to record Cycling.tv videos with 4 different video capture programs, but I couldn't list more than a dozen bike racers of interest to anyone.

I don't know the difference between Tour of Flanders and Ronde de Vlanderen (or whatever)

I can throw up the victory salute a lap early!

Finally, though I've ridden some 50,0000 km in the last three years in clipless pedals, I can ride over to the light pole with the "Push for the Walk signal", and then successfully TIP OVER when the front wheel catches on the edge of the sidewalk at one of the busiest intersections in the county completely clipped in.

Cheers,
VW

Off topic: You're currently working on your BA, or need to go back and finish? Regardless, well done on the GPA. I just evaluated applications for a pretty select program at my university and many would be thrilled with that.

On topic: wearing of lycra pretty much makes us all dorks. I avoid mirrors when dressed in cycling gear as I think that would generate a little too much self-loathing.

Side note - I have full subscriptions to cycling.tv and have purchased the recording software I use. In my dorkier and younger/poorer days, I'd have figured a way around all that, but being able to watch last year's Gent Wevelgem crash fest a year later is well worth the money spent.

Yeah Nomad, NICE GRADES. Well done. Aren't you an Air Traffic Controller? You're not vectoring any aircraft into each other are you?

Off topic: You're currently working on your BA, or need to go back and finish? Regardless, well done on the GPA.

I'm working on it VERY slowly. I should be done next year. I was carrying 8 courses per year, but have slowed way down to ride more :P

At least you have your priorities straight. :D

Yeah Nomad, NICE GRADES. Well done. Aren't you an Air Traffic Controller? You're not vectoring any aircraft into each other are you?

I don't do any vectoring these days. I do procedure design/evaluation now for the Navy/Marine Corps. It's a desk job, engineers rulers, drafting table and a computer.

Wanna fly into Thailand in May? I can tell you all about the mountain you'll have to avoid.

I'd rather be a thin trim chiseled bike weenie than a fat, slow, softball playin/sportsbar drinkin/wifebeater jeanshorts mullet deekhead.

Ride a bike over age 16 = dork in the US. Embrace your inner dorkiness.

I wish I had grades like that!

Organic chem and molecular bio classes are totally whooping my behind...

Congrats on being a dork!

Nomad, you're cool in my book. lol

Nomad, you're cool in my book. lol

so dorky he's cool? That's the only way I'd ever be considered cool

the real question is: What RPG??

40 is the new 30 as dork is the new _____ ???

the real question is: What RPG??

Dennis Rodman averaged 16 a game one season. Or is this another one of those dork questions flying over my head?

Wanna fly into Thailand in May? I can tell you all about the mountain you'll have to avoid.

Wouldn't you want to avoid all of them? ;)

Oh wise Nomad, pray tell how do you record Cycling.tv streams? I can only stream 400kbit comfortably and it looks like arse. Would love to record the 800kbit and watch it later when I've got it all.

Dennis Rodman averaged 16 a game one season. Or is this another one of those dork questions flying over my head?

:roflmao:

Nomad, you're cool in my book. lol

The coolest dork ever. ;)

Fact is, I'm just not as cool as the rest of you.

I was a crap athlete in school (I could run, but never at the top of the competition).

This gives me hope for my own cycling races.


I prefer the term 'geek'; I think it might even be cool these days. Plus if it weren't for geeks, the world would stop functioning.

Pfft. I'm dickering with Coggan and Chung about bike physics over on wattage. I have a 700+ line perl script to estimate CdA from a PT file. My bike dork credentials RULE.

I love dorks.

PM sent.


Ditto:D

Cheers,

Brian

Semper fidelis Fellow dork.

I think you just completed step one of Cyclist anonymous. Admitting you are powerless over being a cycling dork.

Step two would be to admit that there is someone out there with greater power than you. But I don't think that is likely. :D

I don't do any vectoring these days. I do procedure design/evaluation now for the Navy/Marine Corps. It's a desk job, engineers rulers, drafting table and a computer.

Wanna fly into Thailand in May? I can tell you all about the mountain you'll have to avoid.

No, but I do know a Fred or two who could benefit from a CAS (Cyclist Avoidance System) that barks 'TERRAIN!!!!' when they get too close to a wheel in front of them. In fact I could use one of those when I get into Lactic Acid F Me mode in my next bike race. I just about augered into a wheel @ 15mph going uphill last Sunday. But disaster was averted and everybody went home happy.

programmed computers in the early 80's until the present. I carry a 3.98 GPA (5 classes from the BA). I programmed for an online RPG for 6 years. My job is essentially 9 hours a day of trigonometry. In the 34 years of my life, I've always been a dork.

So... what makes me a "bike dork?"



Programmer? pffft.

Try being an Actuary!

I'm like Snuffleupagus, I've gained cool points as a result of becoming a Bike Dork.

I read books on applied chaos theory in my free time because I don't get a good enough education at school.

I'm no dork. I'm a complete doofus. But I love competing. Love it. I think it spilled over from my youth as a skater. And because of skating I screwed up my education, so I have nothing to show for now. Except a hot wife and two beautiful girls. I was practicing 7 days a week. My school work was non existent. My parents were struggling to stay together so neither one of them gave a sh** about my grades. At school I was quiet, weird, and ugly. Think of a short, skinny kid with a bowl cut and glasses, and oddly sized legs. I wish I was better educated - for my families sake. I sit in an office drawing maps on a CAD station. I make as much as a Wal-Mart greeter. I really look up to all of you guys who have awesome jobs and a future. I'm one screw up away from a soup line. If it wasn't for my wife's job I wouldn't have diddley. It's the love for the sport that unites us (god, I sound dorky even to myself here). We are sort of equals you know? Well except for the wattage thing.

sub,

when did you stop skating? Did you grow up skating where you are now? I know lots of older NC guys that are still skating.

sub,

when did you stop skating? Did you grow up skating where you are now? I know lots of older NC guys that are still skating.

Stopped a long time ago. Management and coaches had a huge falling out where I skated. Everyone left. I never went back.

wait wait wait, i think we are talking about different types of skaters, haha

Quads. In the 80s it was the thing. I had a pair of kangaroo hide skates. Back then they were almost $500 skates. We traveled all over the southeast competing and having a good time. But it sucked the life out of me. I was on 8 wheels every single day for years. Even when I wasn't practicing at the rink, we changed our wheels and skated outdoors just for a change of pace. I was burnt by my teenage years got in full swing. Then I never wanted to compete in another sport until now.

man i would have definitely considered you a dork ;)

I'm no dork. I'm a complete doofus. But I love competing. Love it. I think it spilled over from my youth as a skater. And because of skating I screwed up my education, so I have nothing to show for now. Except a hot wife and two beautiful girls. I was practicing 7 days a week. My school work was non existent. My parents were struggling to stay together so neither one of them gave a sh** about my grades. At school I was quiet, weird, and ugly. Think of a short, skinny kid with a bowl cut and glasses, and oddly sized legs. I wish I was better educated - for my families sake. I sit in an office drawing maps on a CAD station. I make as much as a Wal-Mart greeter. I really look up to all of you guys who have awesome jobs and a future. I'm one screw up away from a soup line. If it wasn't for my wife's job I wouldn't have diddley. It's the love for the sport that unites us (god, I sound dorky even to myself here). We are sort of equals you know? Well except for the wattage thing.

LOL!

http://www.webwombat.com.au/entertainment/movies/images/blades-of-glory.jpg This is high-dorkatude!

More like this.

http://www.usarollersports.org/pages/images/Quad.jpg

dude i dont know if thats any better

you could have at least been like this guy

http://www.adinfinitum.de/Rollerskate/contests/Woodward04/200410n5_14_800.jpg

Man. I can't win for losing with you guys. My suckiness keeps getting suckier. Oh well, at least I have my pride. Actually scratch the word "pride" and change it to "psychotic ranting."

Man. I can't win for losing with you guys. My suckiness keeps getting suckier. Oh well, at least I have my pride. Actually scratch the word "pride" and change it to "psychotic ranting."

Dude, you don't suck. Your results say otherwise. Pffft! If you looked at my 2 races so far, you'd know that I sucked! Old, fat (for a racer), and suck.

I'm going back to being happy--riding in the mountains.

Fact is, I'm just not as cool as the rest of you.

I was a crap athlete in school (I could run, but never at the top of the competition). I played a dozen musical instruments, programmed computers in the early 80's until the present. I carry a 3.98 GPA (5 classes from the BA). I programmed for an online RPG for 6 years. My job is essentially 9 hours a day of trigonometry. In the 34 years of my life, I've always been a dork.

So... what makes me a "bike dork?"

My training logs are as anal retentive as they can be. I've now even programmed my excel spreadsheets in VBA because I don't trust Cyclingpeaks algorithms anymore.

I can tell you how to record Cycling.tv videos with 4 different video capture programs, but I couldn't list more than a dozen bike racers of interest to anyone.

I don't know the difference between Tour of Flanders and Ronde de Vlanderen (or whatever)

I can throw up the victory salute a lap early!

Finally, though I've ridden some 50,0000 km in the last three years in clipless pedals, I can ride over to the light pole with the "Push for the Walk signal", and then successfully TIP OVER when the front wheel catches on the edge of the sidewalk at one of the busiest intersections in the county completely clipped in.

Cheers,
VW

you should keep print outs of this in your jersey and hand it to the people you beat at races.

you should keep print outs of this in your jersey and hand it to the people you beat at races.

That would be hilarious.

Two guys commiserating after the race.

"Oh, it's the guy that just womped us in the race. What's he handing out... um, thanks dude... and good race." Now lemme see what this is. "Hm. Oh, he's smart. What, he probably wrote WoW. Hm, damn I could never figure out how to save those cycling.tv things. And he beat us?"

"Yeah, dude, wtf."

"Let's go beat him up."

"Yeah."

"Let's go beat him up."

Never a good option when the intended victim is a Marine.

Fact is, I'm just not as cool as the rest of you.

I was a crap athlete in school (I could run, but never at the top of the competition). I played a dozen musical instruments, programmed computers in the early 80's until the present. I carry a 3.98 GPA (5 classes from the BA). I programmed for an online RPG for 6 years. My job is essentially 9 hours a day of trigonometry. In the 34 years of my life, I've always been a dork.

So... what makes me a "bike dork?"

My training logs are as anal retentive as they can be. I've now even programmed my excel spreadsheets in VBA because I don't trust Cyclingpeaks algorithms anymore.

I can tell you how to record Cycling.tv videos with 4 different video capture programs, but I couldn't list more than a dozen bike racers of interest to anyone.

I don't know the difference between Tour of Flanders and Ronde de Vlanderen (or whatever)

I can throw up the victory salute a lap early!

Finally, though I've ridden some 50,0000 km in the last three years in clipless pedals, I can ride over to the light pole with the "Push for the Walk signal", and then successfully TIP OVER when the front wheel catches on the edge of the sidewalk at one of the busiest intersections in the county completely clipped in.

Cheers,
VW

are you channeling patentcad? ;)

Real dorks log their training using VI and Perl scrips...... noob

NomadVW, for some reason I thought you were older and had a few kids. Maybe you do. If so, I have no idea how you find as much time to ride as you do. Hell, I "work" at home and don't make as much time to ride as you do.

--Steve