Foo - Spanish and Russian women are waiting to marry me

Spanish and Russian women are waiting to marry me.

No kidding. I just checked my e-mail and was advised accordingly; "Spanish and Russian women are waiting to marry you". They are pretty good looking too, based on the photos attached. I can't tell which ones are Spanish and which ones are Russian, though. My mom told me once that Russians have bad teeth, but I still can't tell. Maybe I shouldn't think so much at this early stage. Maybe I should, like you know, get to know them first - see what they are all about and see if the smoke, drink vodka or, of course, be sure they ride bicycles. It seems pretty promising, though. They have a guarantee that the wife will be a best friend, lifetime companion, and faithful lover. I know what you are thinking... "good so far", right?!

Anyway, this is a bit unnerving, naturally, because I know these foreign brides are waiting as the message says, but still I have this nagging feeling that I should tell my wife first. Still, they are waiting. Aiya.

How the heck does this kind of thing happen anyway? Man, I can remember when I was single, I could go for month.... er, ah well, a long time without romance, and now I get e-mail messages out of the blue from beautiful, faithful, lifetime companions.

That is the really cool thing about these modern times and the internet and all. I can buy Viagra and then a get a wife all at the click of a button. OR, I can do the process backwards like get a wife and then get the Viagra. The choice is mine to make right from the comforts of my home. Man, my kids are lucky to be living in these times...

"Hey, Mike!" you are probably screaming at me through your computer screen, "You can't have so many foreign wives. They are expensive - especially the Russian ones!" Ya, well, don't worry, my friends because just a few days ago, I received a message from some unfortunate Nigerian businessman who is trying desperately to get some money out of the country and he promised to give me a portion of it if I just give him my bank account number. I promised not to tell, but this could be the big one, folks, I mean like he is talking millions. What's more, another similar message just came in today - same deal. What are the odds of that? No money yet, but when it comes rolling into my account - Yowza! It's going to be Viagra and foreign wife city, baby!

Is anybody else having this kind of great luck thanks to the internet, or am I the only one?

Is anybody else having this kind of great luck thanks to the internet, or am I the only one?

I have just found one in my inbox saying "meet passionate bikers to share your engagements" or something similar. And just to think, I've been desperate to meet someone with whom I can have a romantic meal of freshly roasted spam.

I can't tell which ones are Spanish and which ones are Russian, though.


Love is blind.

And anyway, when you get to that moment.. you pretty much involuntarily close your eyes anyway.. so really, it doesn't matter.

As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, let me tell you old one eyed Jack; he's as blinds as.. ray charles.

And apparently mortgage interest rates are at their lowest ever, so you'll be able to afford to house her.

Spanish and Russian women are waiting to marry me. . .


. . .Is anybody else having this kind of great luck thanks to the internet, or am I the only one?

Oh, yeah, people are burning the bandwidth to let me view their sites for their scenes of much tender lovemaking.

And all the sweeties wanting to help me enlarge my package--and I didn't even know I had one! I'll have to thank my husband for that package I'll be able to enlarge! I hope it gets here soon, so's I can enlarge it. After all who wouldn't like a larger package; more of a gift is always better, no?


:D

Oh, yeah, people are burning the bandwidth to let me view their sites for their scenes of much tender lovemaking.
:D

Tender lovemaking?? Well, at least we know that it isn't the same person sending messages to both of us. The people writing to me make sex sound like some kind of punishment. The ads for a bigger tool make sense because you need it to defend yourself during the kind of sex described in 'new message # 78".

Yeah, I got my preview as the flash joke of the day. My wife was sitting next to me and said "I wonder if they're real." I said "Of course not! They feel just like a computer screen."
It's gonna be a cold night up this way!

Yeah, I got my preview as the flash joke of the day. My wife was sitting next to me and said "I wonder if they're real." I said "Of course not! They feel just like a computer screen."
It's gonna be a cold night up this way!

I know what you mean. I try to blame blame the dog on the lip and tongue marks my wife finds all over the screen.

One of these days she is going to catch me and I hope I am looking at a site for cakes and pies.

Spanish and Russian women are waiting to marry me.
This would be absolutely hilarious, Mike, if only I didn't know one man who is actually excited about Russian women and wants to marry one, and another who married the same Spanish woman who had asked me, "Do you know anyone who wants to get married?"

:(

Heh.

I keep getting spams about women wanting my large knob. So, I walked around the house looking at appliances and the knob controlling the oven seems to be the biggest.

Thing is, its kind of a cheap oven, I can't see why the knob would be so in demand? I looked at e-bay too, couldn't find a single one for sale. They must be rarer than I thought.

Wierd.

Jester

Imports are much better than spoiled homegrown women anyway ;). (Preparing flame suit for emergency deployment.)

Shoot, all I get are these doctors in Nigeria offering money. Where's the love?

Jay

Imports are much better than spoiled homegrown women anyway ;). (Preparing flame suit for emergency deployment.)

We are going to miss you when you are gone, Sam.

(Get him, cbhungry!)

We are going to miss you when you are gone, Sam.

(Get him, cbhungry!)

But CB is from the far east ;) :P And damn fine too! ;)

Man, you are one wild and crazy guy! Those Russian girls sound great. One you decide on which one to marry, don't let her talk to any American women or she'll be telling you she wants half...(I want half, Eddie) LOL

Imports are much better than spoiled homegrown women anyway ;). (Preparing flame suit for emergency deployment.)

What do you think happens to those wonderful women after they have been in the US for a while?

I actually know two men who have obtained spouses through some agency that arranges such things. Too make a long story short they are both divorced now. It seems that these ladies learn quite a lot once they leave their homeland and have been in the US for a while.

What do you think happens to those wonderful women after they have been in the US for a while?

I actually know two men who have obtained spouses through some agency that arranges such things. Too make a long story short they are both divorced now. It seems that these ladies learn quite a lot once they leave their homeland and have been in the US for a while.

You know, I would say the case is more likely that anybody that would have to resort to getting a mail order bride probably has such an awful personality that any sane woman would never get past dating to get married in the first place.

So, that a mail order bride would leave them after they can legally stay on their own seems about right.

take care,

Jester

Oh man, you guys are getting money and wives and packages in your e-mail. All I got is this stupid virus:

"Warning!!!

Your computer has been infected with the Irish virus. Unfortunately, programming technology has not yet been developed in Ireland, so we are relying on the honor system. Please draw an unhappy face in paint, make that your background, and delete all you files.

Thank you for your cooperation."

Mike, this deal with the Russian and Spanish does not make sense.
You are supposed to be able to actually talk to the person in your own language, right?

Jacob

Mike, this deal with the Russian and Spanish does not make sense.
You are supposed to be able to actually talk to the person in your own language, right?

Jacob

Hmm. Well, there's an angle I had not thought of yet. See, that's what I like about the forums. You get so many perspectives. Very valuable comment, indeed, Jacob.

Mike,
I've used the content of your post to approach my wife.
She said I can have one Russian bride over her dead body.
This does strike me as a bit kinky and potentally messy, but I am up for something different.
I must first devise a plan to get her to write all my favorite recipies out for me.
I assume these gals can cook.
I'll keep you posted.
Greg

I have a friend that knows someone that married one of these women. I guess she was disappointed that there were no cows to milk, but she grew use to walking around barefoot in the kitchen and cooking.

Mike,
I've used the content of your post to approach my wife.
She said I can have one Russian bride over her dead body.
This does strike me as a bit kinky and potentally messy, but I am up for something different.
I must first devise a plan to get her to write all my favorite recipies out for me.
I assume these gals can cook.
I'll keep you posted.
Greg

Greg:

Glad to know that your wife at least gives you alternatives and is willing to work with you to make your dreams realized. SOME guys wives just squash their hopes and dreams from the start.

Look, man, the more I learn about this stuff, the trickier it gets. Check her teeth first, like my mom said. Get a picture of the Russian bride smiling and showing her teeth. Don't be distracted by the racey pics like the ones in the e-mails. I'm starting to think they include those sexy pictures for a reason - like to influence your thinking or something. Be careful.

I have a friend that knows someone that married one of these women. I guess she was disappointed that there were no cows to milk, but she grew use to walking around barefoot in the kitchen and cooking.

Danr, your friend obviously is not from Wisconsin. Can we assume that e-mail brides that go to Wisconsin are the happiest and least likely to divorse their American spouses? I would like to thinks so.

Well, there we have it; even more useful information from the forums. Get a cow FIRST, and then get your bride.

Keep it coming, Folks. Wedded bliss for us all via the internet and bikeforums.com

Hey, what about e-mail grooms for the BF.C ladies? Does somebody have a line on mail order grooms too?

All I get is about 18 emails a day saying I can order online now for viagra to get ROCK HARD well you know ;) not that I need the viagra, i have A.Troll!!!!

Brendon
(yes, intentional troll bait I know!)

All I get is about 18 emails a day saying I can order online now for viagra to get ROCK HARD well you know ;) not that I need the viagra, i have A.Troll!!!!

That's all fine and well if you're content to share. :D

I am straight up with no shame:D...and how do i quote now that the lol quote link has disappeared? i see a lil check box here, how does it work?

Brendon

I am straight up with no shame:D...and how do i quote now that the lol quote link has disappeared? i see a lil check box here, how does it work?

There's a "reply" button in the bottom right-hand corner of each post where the old "quote" button used to be. It does the same thing.

Hey DanR,
Ever milked a cow with Strontium milk?
What is it, Strontium 40??

Anyone?

Jacob

Look, man, the more I learn about this stuff, the trickier it gets. Check her teeth first, like my mom said. Get a picture of the Russian bride smiling and showing her teeth.

Try bringing an apple with you and see how she eats it.

Try bringing an apple with you and see how she eats it.

Are you guys sure you aren't looking for a horse? :D

Try bringing an apple with you and see how she eats it.
No bring a popsicle :D ;)

Well, a high school friend actually fell for one of those things about 8 years ago, although it was through an ad in a magazine. He's a nice person, but since he was a) very short, b)prematurely bald, and c) overweight, he decided to see if he would have any better luck in Russia.
He went on a package tour to Moscow, stayed in a huge rundown intourist hotel right next to red square, and met several Russian "ladies" during the official meeting times.
One "lady" suggested that, if he didn't want to marry her, he could have her company for the night for $50. Other "ladies" were more interested in his net worth than his personality. Then, right after leaving one of these meetings, he was mugged, in broad daylight, on a busy street, while walking back to the hotel. Several other Americans with the group were likewise robbed during the 5 day trip.
Suffice to say, he spent the next 3 days doing his own sightseeing around the charming burg of Moscow (during wintertime, no less...), and went home, a bit lighter in the wallet, but wiser.

Well, a high school friend actually fell for one of those things about 8 years ago, although it was through an ad in a magazine. He's a nice person, but since he was a) very short, b)prematurely bald, and c) overweight, he decided to see if he would have any better luck in Russia.
He went on a package tour to Moscow, stayed in a huge rundown intourist hotel right next to red square, and met several Russian "ladies" during the official meeting times.
One "lady" suggested that, if he didn't want to marry her, he could have her company for the night for $50. Other "ladies" were more interested in his net worth than his personality. Then, right after leaving one of these meetings, he was mugged, in broad daylight, on a busy street, while walking back to the hotel. Several other Americans with the group were likewise robbed during the 5 day trip.
Suffice to say, he spent the next 3 days doing his own sightseeing around the charming burg of Moscow (during wintertime, no less...), and went home, a bit lighter in the wallet, but wiser.

Hmm. That sucks. It says a lot about the safety of the Internet. Get your wife right over the Internet and avoid the risk of getting mugged.

Say, what is this 'wife for a night' stuff? Do they have that system in Russia? I know a guy who was married to an American woman for only three months and lost a chunk of change in the divorce. I think he ended up paying more than $50.00 per day.

Man, there are a lot of interesting concepts to learn from our foreign cousins!