Foo - Television Hell

I know that this is an international forum and people from all over the world participate in this forum, but I gotta say I feel sorry for those foreign folks because their Television programs suck. Except for Germany where they have nude commercials and except for Italy where they have REALLY cute girls on all those talk-variety shows.

You know, I travel all over the world and it is always the same thing whether it is Japan or Germany or, or, or like Brazil or, well you get it - those foreign places where all those foreign people live. I'm telling you. Their TV sucks. It is no wonder bicycling is more popular overseas. They don't have good television as an entertainment alternative.

They have CNN giving the same three news story hour after hour day after day "The PLO car-bombed Israel, Israel retaliated blah, blah, blah and other sports scores", the weather in Kookistan is windy again blah blah.

Switch to the next station. Oh OH OH, Sports! It is.... let's see, it is some kind of ball game with players whacking at the ball with a flat stick and it looks like India against.... zzzzzz gnaaa huh, did I doze off? What?! Three hours later and this game is still going on?

click click AHA, I recognize this. This is American television at it's finest and it is imported over here: genuine 1970's Charlies Angels television reruns. BUT, Farrah Fawcett is talking in German. Somehow it isn't the same. When I watched the original versions in English, I didn't think it mattered what Farrah Fawcett said, but I guess it does matter after all. Fifteen minutes of this and I'm looking for something else.

Of course, they have their own local television which looks like it might be promising, but it is always in those foreign languages. How is anybody supposed to understand that? Plus, they talk so fast. Can the natives really understand all that fast foreign language stuff? I can't believe they can get all that zippy foreign language either. Wouldn't the whole world just be better off if we just made all movies and television in, like slooooow English so that everybody could understand it? No more fast French "zee vous play" stuff and all the French people laughing like it is the funniest thing in the history of the world, but nobody else has a clue. No, man, forget that. Let's make it slow English and we can all get the idea and judge for ourselves just how funny French TV really is; or what those Japanese samurai guys are saying in such an important way, and we could all know what those Indian lovers are singing about with their "voices from within a soup can" sound.

I wondered how other international jet setters were coping. Then, I sat next to a lady on an airplane recently who had some newish "Sex in the City" programs on DVD which she was watching on her laptop. Heeeey! Of course, she wouldn't share her DVD with me and she "didn't appreciate me watching over her shoulder like some kind of laughing moron and if she wanted to sit next to a monkey, she could do it at home with her husband thank you very much". Stubborn lady. Stubborn accusitory crabby lady with tartar sauce in her shoe while she was sleeping.

ah well.

;)

They have CNN giving the same three news story hour after hour day after day "The PLO car-bombed Israel, Israel retaliated blah, blah, blah and other sports scores", the weather in Kookistan is windy again blah blah.

Pity you don't get CNNN. I's the funniest show on television.


Switch to the next station. Oh OH OH, Sports! It is.... let's see, it is some kind of ball game with players whacking at the ball with a flat stick and it looks like India against.... zzzzzz gnaaa huh, did I doze off? What?! Three hours later and this game is still going on?

Those one day matches are only for those with short attention spans. It's not real cricket.


click click AHA, I recognize this. This is American television at it's finest and it is imported over here: genuine 1970's Charlies Angels television reruns. BUT, Farrah Fawcett is talking in German. Somehow it isn't the same. When I watched the original versions in English, I didn't think it mattered what Farrah Fawcett said, but I guess it does matter after all. Fifteen minutes of this and I'm looking for something else.

No it doesn't. Foxtel is showing it here at the moment too, and even in English it's dated and boring, but a goldmine for camel-toe spotting.


Of course, they have their own local television which looks like it might be promising, but it is always in those foreign languages. How is anybody supposed to understand that? Plus, they talk so fast. Can the natives really understand all that fast foreign language stuff.

You don't think any of the locals are actually watching it do you?


I wondered how other international jet setters were coping. Then, I sat next to a lady who had some recent "Sex in the City" programs on DVD which she was watching on her laptop. Heeeey! Of course, she wouldn't share her DVD with me and she "didn't appreciate me watching over her shoulder like some kind of laughing moron and if she wanted to sit next to a monkey, she could do it at home with her husband thank you very much". Stubborn lady. Stubborn accusitory crabby lady with tartar sauce in her shoe while she was sleeping.

After a steady diet of Sex in the City, I hope she doesn't mistake it for something else.

What are you doing wanting to watch that show anyway? You realise it's chick tv don't you? You should have asked her if she had any episodes of Baywatch.

Or you could read a book.

You know, Allister, I love you Brits, but I can't understand British TV either. WHAT is with that accent? Are we speaking the same language or what? I was in Liverpool once and longed to speak pigeon English again in Singapore where I could at least understand what people were saying to me. The Liverpoolians weren't just speaking in circles around me. I think they were speaking backwards just to confuse the American. Then they would all laugh and I would laugh too just to be part of the crowd, but I didn't know if they were laughing at me or at my clothes.

But back to television. What is so funny about English men dressing in women's clothing? In contrast, the Germans have women dressed in men's clothing, but it doesn't seem to be for humor. It is like serious or something...

You know, Allister, I love you Brits
Hey Allister, which part of Britain are you from? :p


Three hours later and this game is still going on?

What do you mean 3 hours. Test Cricket goes for 5 DAYS, and people (like me) watch the whole game.

CHEERS.

Mark

You know, Allister, I love you Brits, but I can't understand British TV either. ...

<Ahem> Check my location.

That said, I love British tv. The sit-coms are the best, and I also have a soft spot for their police dramas (A Touch Of Frost is a favourite)


But back to television. What is so funny about English men dressing in women's clothing?

C'mon. Monty Python's Pepperpots are hilarious, and Tim Brooke-Taylor's Evita was a classic ("Don't cry for me Marge and Tina"). I think it some sort of tradition, or an ancient charter of something.

<Ahem> Check my location.

.

Oh, sorry, Allister. I notice now that you are from Australia NOT England.

The accent only sounds slightly different to me, so I thought you were from England. :rolleyes:

You know, a lot of people think UK TV is crap because of all the American imports on it :)

What about "The Office, League of Gentlemen, Inspector Morse, the Sweeney, many more. All quality programmes. The most recent UK programmes have been rubbish but they are based on formats imported from the colonies..

Have to say though Cheers, Frasier, Garry Shandling, Columbo and CSI (Marg Helgeberger mmmmmmmmmm!!!) redress the balance a bit.

I love you Brits, but I can't understand British TV either. WHAT is with that accent? Are we speaking the same language or what?

It is pretty sad that the English went through the trouble of developing a perfectly useful language ony to have it BUTCHERED by us Americans. ;)

I love Benny Hill. One of the funniest programs I have ever watched. I kinda like Chef also. I wish we got more BBC stuff here. It is better than the pop culture puke fests we endure here every day.

Most of the Brits I dealt with were in the Military when I was stationed in Europe and I got along quite well with them. They were a witty bunch and were always friendly towards me.

Mike,

Well at least you didn't have to watch SABC 1, 2 and 3
in South Africa. Imagine Charlies Angles dubbed into
Xhosa, or Ndebele. Tonight on the Click and Pop channel
Charlie asks one of the angels for a cone wrench (bike
content!) only on SABC1. switch to SABC2 and you get
Afrikaans, SABC3 is English, or some semblance of that language, running the worst of both US and UK tv.
weird sitcoms about some prissy guy running a health club, or transvestite vicars at the local parish. Sheesh.
Alister, 5 days, FIVE DAYS? geez it drove me nuts, I could understand twilight games, one days, test matches, but whats up with a game that is played for 5 days and can be called a draw after 15 minutes?
I did kind of like one Oz tv show, Murder call I believe,
but then there's no accounting for taste is there?
TV in Europe is interesting, although most of it would be
banned to cable here (we are so prudish).

Can we rename this thread the "Click 'n' Pop, Camel toe and Kookistan thread"?

What about "The Office, League of Gentlemen, Inspector Morse, the Sweeney, many more. All quality programmes. The most recent UK programmes have been rubbish but they are based on formats imported from the colonies.

The League of Gentlemen was very bizzare but utterly brilliant. They're showing Rick Mayal's 'Believe Nothing' here at the moment. I'm really getting into it. I nearly spat beer out my nose when Dubya was talking about his 'War on Tourism'. :roflmao:


Have to say though Cheers, Frasier, Garry Shandling, Columbo and CSI (Marg Helgeberger mmmmmmmmmm!!!) redress the balance a bit.

Don't forget Seinfeld in there. I'm still not sick of that show.

Australia hasn't produced a sitcom in years. We seem content with an endless stream of knock-off game shows, 'lifestyle' programs and drama, none of which I tend to watch. It's weird because Australian stand-up comics are generally pretty high calibre, but comedy on tv is usually restricted to sketch shows (The Skit House is the latest, and it's pretty good), and satire (the aforementioned CNNN is excellent). But sit-coms, no. The only one I can think of that was worth watching was Lano and Woodley, but that was so good that it almost made up for it. It's a shame they were put in such a terrible time slot, it was physical humour at it's finest - right up there with The Goodies imo.

I guess tv ain't all bad.

The truth about Television Hell is that none of us realize we are in it. My definition of Television Hell is picking among 5 different movies, all of which I've seen several times, and becoming frustrated because I can't choose between the one I've seen 10 times and the one I haven't seen completely through.

Oh, and the Sopranos is superb.

"Television Hell."

Isn't that a bit redundant?

:D

As a matter of fact, it is. I'm going to report this thread to the Department of Redundancy Department.

Just how much TV do you people actually watch? I had a survey person call last year and ask about my TV habits. The first question was how much TV do I watch a week? I said about 7 hours. She responded I mean per week not per day. I said 7 hours. I don't watch TV just cause I'm bored, I never am. I watch the tube because I want to watch something. This life is too damn short to waste your time glued to the tube watching just to pass the time while your waist line explodes. Heck my TV doesn't have a remote. I use the VCR to record programs and watch them without commercials. Yes, that time is counted toward my TV watching time total. Whoops. Gotta go one of my favorite shows about to start!

I hardly ever watch TV. I do watch movies on DVD but that's about it other than the occasional NFL game. And that's only if there's an interesting one on a Sunday afternoon after my ride. At every commercial I either hit the mute button or get up and do some chores for a couple of minutes. Did I ever say that I hate commercials?

Commercial, commercialism...it all sucks. I hate being called a consumer by megacorps. Every moment of your life you've got some sort of a sales pitch trying to get you. One the reasons I don't understan people listening to the radio when on their bikes. I'd rather listen to birds instead of plugging in to yet another media outlet.

Just how much TV do you people actually watch?

I stopped watching TV in '92 and don't miss it at all. Instead I've replaced it with more reading, more riding and limited time on the internet.

What I've notice is that I don't feel like I'm caught up in every particular disaster and problem out there,which is what I remember the most about watching TV.

Regards.

I stopped watching TV in '92 and don't miss it at all. Instead I've replaced it with more reading, more riding and limited time on the internet.

What I've notice is that I don't feel like I'm caught up in every particular disaster and problem out there,which is what I remember the most about watching TV.

Regards.

"I stopped watching TV in '92!" "I stopped watching TV in '92!"

What? Come on, man. I did the 'no-TV' thing too during the early 1970's and it was a mistake. I missed all those great Partridge Family shows that will never re-appear on re-runs. I couldn't relate with my contemporaries at the time. Even today people tell jokes with vintage TV references and I laugh like a split-tongued crow just to be part of the crowd, but I am as lost as a foreigner.

Get a TV, JCM800. Tune in, turn on, or you'll drop out. ;)

What? Come on, man. I did the 'no-TV' thing too during the early 1970's and it was a mistake. I missed all those great Partridge Family shows that will never re-appear on re-runs.

Oh yeah, David Cavity :lol:


I couldn't relate with my contemporaries at the time. Even today people tell jokes with vintage TV references and I laugh like a split-tongued crow just to be part of the crowd, but I am as lost as a foreigner.

Some of the old shows were interesting,but I'm much happier not watching TV.


Get a TV, JCM800. Tune in, turn on, or you'll drop out. ;)

I still have a TV but never use it. Besides it isn't hooked up to an antenna or cable. I also stopped driving a motor vehicle 5 years ago and everything I haul is on my MTBs. What can I say,the keep it simple system works :)

Regards.

I still have a TV but never use it. Besides it isn't hooked up to an antenna or cable. I also stopped driving a motor vehicle 5 years ago and everything I haul is on my MTBs. What can I say,the keep it simple system works

Take heed, there is a future Una-bomber present... :D

Take heed, there is a future Una-bomber present... :D

More along the lines of someone with right wing extremist views... ;)

I rarely turn the tube on these days. I find that I can create my own hell without all the advertising.
Mike, don't they have hookers in those countries you visit?

I haven't owned a TV since 1998. I'm always puzzled whenever I encounter people who will explain to me in great detail why they hate particular shows, because the level of detail that they provide often suggests that they might be watching the said program religiously. :p (I can say with certainty that I am not in a position to offer a critique of "Sex in the City", since I've never seen it nor even seen so much as an advertisement for it.)

The only TV programs I watch are very deliberate. For example, I'll watch "Six Feet Under" on a computer DVD. And during Cubs season, I may occassionally head over to my local bar to watch the game with others; around here, the Cubs are a social experience, and sitting at home alone watching a game on a TV doesn't even make sense.

I can say with certainty that I am not in a position to offer a critique of "Sex in the City", since I've never seen it nor even seen so much as an advertisement for it.



You ain't missing a thing. Run down to one of those sports bars and pick yourself up a yuppie-sexaddict (****) and you have "sex in the city" LIVE.

And during Cubs season, I may occassionally head over to my local bar to watch the game with others; around here, the Cubs are a social experience, and sitting at home alone watching a game on a TV doesn't even make sense.

I understand about that now. Got tickets (via scalper) for the Cubs-Marlins playoff game, the one where the Cubs won 12-3. Got down to the stadium area about 3 hours before game time. Had a chance to really witness what goes on in Wrigglyville. Witnessing the fans and their rabid reactions was really something. I'm not a Cubs fan BTW but my daughter is. Anyway, the social experience was special. If they could deliver that feeling from the tube I'd probably watch a lot more.
I like to watch TV shows that make me think. You know the kind- like the Victoria's Secret fashion show! :p

I haven't owned a TV since 1998.
I suspect your decision had more to do with a personal awakening, rather than
anything related to a demise of programming quality that might have suddenly occurred in 1998.

As my memory serves, tv programming quality had slipped long before then.

I have always found tv entertaining, especially when realism is compromised.

:)

I watch the poor man's latern quite a lot. I like to just sit and channel-hop for hours between Discovery and National Geographic.

Mind you, I give those irritating American talkshows and docu-soaps a wide birth. :D

It's probably true about british and Ozzie tv- we get the GOOD stuff, but there is probably plenty of dreck. We get BBC canada, and I was able to get it for a while. The one show I really liked was "Casualty". I was hooked on it, but now don't get that station anymore. But I have to admit, I wasn't all that interested in most of the other shows- dumb sitcoms aren't any funnier just because they're british. We also get this dumb show about two guys working at resort. The Oz shows are also kind of dull, rural dramas and the like. And that's the GOOD stuff!

One thing I'd like about tv in europe is that they show a bigger variety of sports. But I hear that a lot of it is really bad- which is probably why the obesity rate in Europe is nowhere near that of the US. Instead of sitting in front of the tv and stuffing their faces, euros actually get out and DO stuff. Maybe having crap tv is better for your health! Take a look at the crowds watching those mountain top finishes, then look at the crowds at Wrigley field. Who looks healthier, thinner and fitter?

I stopped watching TV in '92 and don't miss it at all.

So how does one watch the Tour de France without a TV? Getting ride of a TV seems absurd. You don't have to watch the crap that is on, but it does make it a bit hard to watch the good stuff. How can you watch a DVD without one or play X-Box/Playstation? I guess you don't have mates around to watch (insert sport) the game/race on a weekend, which can be great after a hard ride. It's worth having a TV just to see the weather and Lotto numbers.

It's not like the TV is costing any money to have sitting there, they aren't evil! I imagine in twenty years, there will be people who have thrown away their computers in some sort of symbolism, against that technology also?

I don't see the point.

CHEERS.

Mark

I think Mark is saying, don't throw out the baby with the bathwater. I agree, if there's crap on tv, don't watch it. I like having a tv. Ours was in the repair shop for a week and it wasn't so much not having the tv, but no vcr, no DVD- I like movies! Listen, there are crap movies. Does that mean we shouldn't see any of them? There are sh***y books, should we stop reading? Hell, no way do I give up watching sports.

You people put babies in your bathwater? Yeck. I usually just use soap

I sometimes proudly display my favorite button.."Killl Television." Just had an episode of watching some of my wifes favorite sit coms...
US television is hell. One of reasons I disappear and spend so much time on the net..

Re British v. American TV, I give you exhibit no. 1: Coupling. The BBC version is smart, imaginative, and damn funny. NBC put on a version that was nearly word-for-word identical and it just sucked. How is that possible? It can't just be the accent, can it?

I don't see the point.

There is no point. Some of us don't have a TV just because we don't want one. I've never owned a TV in my life and never felt I should have one. I've watched it though as I had a TV at every places I worked in the last 6 years. It does cost money if you want more than what you get from rabbit ears. The worst thing about TV is that it keeps you captive. Look at how many times TV is nothing more than an image of people talking. You could listen to the same show on radio while doing something else. You can get the weather and lotto numbers on the net when you want, not when TV wants.

When I was younger, I could not watch tv and tell what was being depicted .
Now, I find it a very interesting sort of pseudo scientific phenomenon, meaning that it will make me react to my surroundings differently, but not in any really easy to discern manner.
Hopefully I will gain more clarity into the significance of the television in my future.
jacob

It does cost money if you want more than what you get from rabbit ears.
I see there is a difference from our TV to that of Canada and America. In Australia we have only had Pay TV for the last 10 years and virtually no-one that has purchased it, has continued to stay with it. So 99% of the population watch free to air TV, so it does cost nothing, here. From my understanding this is completely opposite to you guys, where Pay TV is the norm.

CHEERS.

Mark

I know that this is an international forum and people from all over the world participate in this forum, but I gotta say I feel sorry for those foreign folks because their Television programs suck. Except for Germany where they have nude commercials and except for Italy where they have REALLY cute girls on all those talk-variety shows.

You know, I travel all over the world and it is always the same thing whether it is Japan or Germany or, or, or like Brazil or, well you get it - those foreign places where all those foreign people live. I'm telling you. Their TV sucks. It is no wonder bicycling is more popular overseas. They don't have good television as an entertainment alternative.

They have CNN giving the same three news story hour after hour day after day "The PLO car-bombed Israel, Israel retaliated blah, blah, blah and other sports scores", the weather in Kookistan is windy again blah blah.

Switch to the next station. Oh OH OH, Sports! It is.... let's see, it is some kind of ball game with players whacking at the ball with a flat stick and it looks like India against.... zzzzzz gnaaa huh, did I doze off? What?! Three hours later and this game is still going on?

click click AHA, I recognize this. This is American television at it's finest and it is imported over here: genuine 1970's Charlies Angels television reruns. BUT, Farrah Fawcett is talking in German. Somehow it isn't the same. When I watched the original versions in English, I didn't think it mattered what Farrah Fawcett said, but I guess it does matter after all. Fifteen minutes of this and I'm looking for something else.

Of course, they have their own local television which looks like it might be promising, but it is always in those foreign languages. How is anybody supposed to understand that? Plus, they talk so fast. Can the natives really understand all that fast foreign language stuff? I can't believe they can get all that zippy foreign language either. Wouldn't the whole world just be better off if we just made all movies and television in, like slooooow English so that everybody could understand it? No more fast French "zee vous play" stuff and all the French people laughing like it is the funniest thing in the history of the world, but nobody else has a clue. No, man, forget that. Let's make it slow English and we can all get the idea and judge for ourselves just how funny French TV really is; or what those Japanese samurai guys are saying in such an important way, and we could all know what those Indian lovers are singing about with their "voices from within a soup can" sound.

I wondered how other international jet setters were coping. Then, I sat next to a lady on an airplane recently who had some newish "Sex in the City" programs on DVD which she was watching on her laptop. Heeeey! Of course, she wouldn't share her DVD with me and she "didn't appreciate me watching over her shoulder like some kind of laughing moron and if she wanted to sit next to a monkey, she could do it at home with her husband thank you very much". Stubborn lady. Stubborn accusitory crabby lady with tartar sauce in her shoe while she was sleeping.

ah well.

;)

ha... i know... we do miss out of a lot of good US tv shows... like chappelles show... or family guy.... mostly comedy central i guess...

then again... we dont have crap like judge judy... or springer... ha!

but also... hotel room channels are not real indicative of the tv quality... we do also get cable with all the movie channels..

"Television Hell."

Isn't that a bit redundant?

:D

Ha ha ha. I stopped watching TV this semester and I have strait A's (even while taking organic chemistry and botany). It's a lot better to live life than to watch life. Peace.