Singlespeed & Fixed Gear - In Which Mayonnaise Sermonizes

It was supposed to be a quick spin to try out the new wheel, instead it was a long night in the emergency room.

I hit the ground hard and have little memory of how I got home. I made 11 phone calls, I remember 3.

Thanks to all the professionals at Northwestern University Hospital, they marked my case urgent and got me right in. Tests, cat scans and Xrays, they carried out their duties with elan.

They wouldn't give me any pain medication because of my memory loss. The worst part was when the dentist came in and snapped my tooth back into place with her hands. You can't imagine the pain. No solid food for two weeks.

Were you wearing a helmet, they asked. Yes I was, handing it to them. Doctor examined the helmet. If you hadn't had this, skull fracture for sure, he said

I'm beat up pretty bad today and I look terrible, but I'll heal. Please, everyone reading, cool or no, wear your helmet. Live to ride another day. Again, wear your helmet all the time, every ride period

how did you go down?

I was testing out my new front wheel. Without thinking I applied the front brake in the same manner as with the old wheel. The new rim, with it's better stopping power, locked up and threw me to the ground, up and over the bars, landing face first. I was going about 12 mph.

I must say...here's another case for http://www.roadid.com or something similar (even if it's home made). Glad to know ur going to be alright - easily could have been much worse!

Mayo -

In the event you actually crashed, I do hope you heal quickly.

However, with all the creative writing lately, I am beginning to doubt that you live in Chicago or even own a bike.

For all we know, you could be a Winnebago driving Steve Urkel with a Trek catalog and a penchant for deception.

So, when you get hurt do you ask your mom to "hold the Mayo?"

Taking the meat wagon to the E-room sucks. My helmet also saved my life. Glad you are still with us.

Heal fast and go easy on the brakes!!!

another thing.

Once you biff you've got to throw your helmet out and get another one. They are good for one use only.

Do not use your helmet after a crash

Many people know this, but I'm saying it again just to be sure.

Heal quickly, Mayo.

Mayo -

In the event you actually crashed, I do hope you heal quickly.

However, with all the creative writing lately, I am beginning to doubt that you live in Chicago or even own a bike.

For all we know, you could be a Winnebago driving Steve Urkel with a Trek catalog and a penchant for deception.

So, when you get hurt do you ask your mom to "hold the Mayo?"

Superchivo: You're a penis head.

Mayo: heal well.

another thing.

Once you biff you've got to throw your helmet out and get another one. They are good for one use only.

Do not use your helmet after a crash

Many people know this, but I'm saying it again just to be sure.Lots of manufacturers have a crash replacement policy that lets you get a new helmet for cheap if you send the old one back. I've done it w/ a Bell.

get better man

Watch out, Superchivo...

Orange has some unused 'D' Cells just burning a hole in his backpack...

Whoa boys,

As a bloodied veteran of popping a wheelie and watching the front wheel roll away, I know first hand what Mayo is writing about. It sucks and I've got the 26 x-rays to prove it.

So, I'll say it again. In the event of a real crash, heal quick buddy.

All I'm saying is that Mayo has: (1) a demonstrated penchant for short fiction and (2) I've never seen or heard of a dentist working in the emergency room. Much less using their hand to put a broken tooth back in somebody's choppers.

I mean I haven't even seen that on ER! And not only is that show in Chicago, but all kinds of crazy stuff happens on that show. Hasn't their been a fixie episode of ER?

Throw batteries, but I'm calling this fiction. Tightly written, but still fiction.

Whoa boys,. cheap shot... but let it ride..




All I'm saying is that Mayo has:
All your saying is that you think someone is lying, but you sugar coat it with BS and subtle pot shots. To typical now adays. Say what you mean, and fess up. Don't bite pillows.




As a bloodied veteran of popping a wheelie and watching the front wheel roll away, I know first hand what Mayo is writing about. It sucks and I've got the 26 x-rays to prove it.
Yet you say he's fibbing in the same breath?

go back to biting pillows.

All your saying is that you think someone is lying, but you sugar coat it with BS and subtle pot shots. To typical now adays. Say what you mean, and fess up. Don't bite pillows.

I would say he is just being skepical, no BS just not trusting, what is wrong with that?

Good luck on the recovery Mayo, hope you are 100% again soon.

Mayo,

Hang in there, hope you heal quick.

SChivo, I used to work in ER and there was always
a dentist on call for all those knocked out front teeth.

Marty

I got lucky, the dentist, actually an Oral Surgeon, who normally in on an "on call" basis, was in treating another patient that had an accident with his tooth. I didn't have to wait. She was quite good. She did her exam, checking to see how extensive the damage, then she pushed my front tooth back into its original position. Had I known what she was going to do I would have bristled, instead it came as a suprise, which was best, believe me. She then splinted my teeth, which amounts to a piece of wire glued across the teeth to hold them in place. She said no solid food which makes Thanksgiving difficult.

I admit to taking "liberties" with the longer pieces I've written. I post them and let them stand or fall as they will. You'll notice I never comment further on those threads. People's prejudices are fair game, however since joining the DDC (Dead Dad Club) I don't play games about being in the hospital.

I do have a photograph of my face that I may post once it is developed (haven't gone digital yet). The same roll has shots of my Masi that I will post

however since joining the DDC (Dead Dad Club) I don't play games about being in the hospital.

Elaborate?

I sent an email to Giro inquiring about their helmet replacment policy, they answered directly with this letter:

We here at Giro are very sorry to hear of your unfortunate bicycle accident,
but are very glad to know that you were wearing your helmet and suffered no
serious head injuries. We do hope that you have recovered satisfactorily
from any other injuries you might have suffered.

The following is information on our current Giro Crash Replacement program,
which is 30% off of suggested retail prices. These prices are for the US
only. If you live in Canada please call Outdoor Gear (our Canadian
distributor) at 800-363-0693 for details.

The prices are as follows:

Helmet Model 30% Off Retail


*Atmos (w/helmet pod) $133.00 $190.00
Switchblade 126.00 180.00
Xen SE (w/helmet pod) 122.50 175.00
Xen 112.00 160.00
Pneumo SE (w/helmet pod) 108.50 155.00
E2 SE (w/helmet pod) 105.00 150.00
Pneumo 98.00 140.00
E2 87.50 125.00
Monza 70.00 100.00
Animas 70.00 100.00
Mad Max II 70.00 100.00
Eclipse 56.00 80.00
Havoc 49.00 70.00
Semi MX 42.00 60.00
Encinal 31.50 45.00
Torrent II 24.50 35.00
Venus II 24.50 35.00
Atlas II 24.50 35.00
Transit II 21.00 30.00
Kickfire II (kids) 24.50 35.00
Rodeo (kids) 21.00 30.00
Me2 (kids) 21.00 30.00

*Note: Atmos Limited Edition Lonestar Not Available under this program

**ALL MODELS SUBJECT TO PRODUCT AVAILABILITY**

Send the damaged helmet along with the appropriate fee (check or money
order) and a letter describing the accident to:
Giro Crash Replacement
1924 County Road 3000 North
Rantoul, IL 61866-9512

Toll free number: (800) 456-2355.

Thanks for choosing Giro!
Crystal Dickison
Consumer Service

Originally I come from Colorado where the sun is quite intense. I am also Irish, we have fair skin. My father died from skin cancer. It was mis diagnosed and killed him quickly. It was a very sad day. Those of you who have gone through this know what I mean.

Another sermon. Skin cancers are on the rise and are very treatable if caught early. If you notice a mole or spot change in any way, have it checked. If it's dark and larger than a pencil eraser, have it removed. Do it tomorrow. Once the cancer leaves it's "shell" it is one of the most deadly strains. Wear sunscreen. Examine yourself often. Have a loved one check your back. If you live in Chicago and want a refrence for a great dermatolgist, PM me. Live to ride again tomorrow.

[QUOTE=Mayonnaise]Arschgaudi[QUOTE]


Last questions. What does that mean? I googled and found nothing.

Arschgaudi is a German slang term that means, ass entertainment. Only the Germans could put those two words together. Normally it's used to described what gay men do together. It is very popular where I work (an eclectic bunch to be sure) and I thought it would be fun here too.

Arschgaudi is a German slang term that means, ass entertainment. Only the Germans could put those two words together. Normally it's used to described what gay men do together. It is very popular where I work (an eclectic bunch to be sure) and I thought it would be fun here too.

I wish I still lived in Chicago, for just the chance of running into a character such as you.

As it is, I'll have to content myself with going out and getting the Fixie.

Keep those cranks spinning.

literal translation:
Arsch = Ass
Gaudi = jamboree

humorous

get well whiteboy

Miracle Whipped--hope the tooth, head, etc. heal and you are back on the bike soon enough.

Now, back to our show already in progress...

This is for you Mr. Karsten.

Mayo says:

"I admit to taking 'liberties' with the longer pieces I've written."


Biting pillows, indeed, William...Little trigger happy on your reply to superchivo when it turns out our banged-up Shakespeare indeed may throw a 'fib' or two into his posts. I believe there was nothing wrong with a little skepticism. Must be something about that guvmn't work you do. You know...shoot first/ask questions later...


Go to town my boy...go to town...

While I generally don't like mayo (nasty stuff), sorry about your crash, be careful with that tooth so you don't have to get a fake.
Also in the DDC,cancer in the stomach,brain, liver, spine somewhat due to a heart doctor who refused to look elsewhere.

Well, if you didn't see it on TV then it must not be true.
:rolleyes:

Hope you get well soon Mayo.

I had something similar happen about 6 years ago, landing on my face, sans helmet when the front wheel came off going downhill. It was my fault though, I didn't put the wheel on tight enough. Flew over the handlebars and got hit in the back by the bike catching up with me. Worse was the fact that I was going to meet a cute bicycle courier from Calgary. At least she understood, even though my face was all bloody and I couldn't really walk straight. The only good that came of it was that the Bike Doctor in Missoula Montana replaced my bent up fork with a sweet looking homemade fork they had lying around, a great improvement. Just remember check those quick releases.

Giro's crash replacement policty seems pretty weak. 30% off retail? You can get the helmet on sale for less than that. I believe the Bell policy was closer to 30% of retail. If I remember correctly, I paid around $30 to replace a $90 helmet (which I bought on sale for around half of that).

cheap shot... but let it ride..




All your saying is that you think someone is lying, but you sugar coat it with BS and subtle pot shots. To typical now adays. Say what you mean, and fess up. Don't bite pillows.



Yet you say he's fibbing in the same breath?

go back to biting pillows.

Cheap shot? You have got to be kidding. You are the KING of the cheap shot. Now I suppose you will call ME a name and take cheap shots at me, William. That is about all you are good for.

Sometimes you actually have good things to say if you would just refrain from taking cheap shots at people and calling people names. It just makes you look very, very small.

Regards,
Sandra

Heal quick Mayo.

It's getting a little tense. Anyone read the forum guidelines lately?
http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=22263

Just want to remind everyone of the "Ignore" option.

If you constantly are bothered by what a specific person has to say (writes) then you can simply "turn them off" so you don't have to see what they post.

L8R

Must be something about that guvmn't work you do. You know...shoot first/ask questions later...


Go to town my boy...go to town...

Ahh yes; assume you know everything there is to know and place some hard bitten stereo type.

I think based upon both our responses we can assume tons, and know little. We're probably not that bad in person. Probably.

Cheap shot? You have got to be kidding. You are the KING of the cheap shot. Now I suppose you will call ME a name and take cheap shots at me, William. That is about all you are good for.

Sometimes you actually have good things to say if you would just refrain from taking cheap shots at people and calling people names. It just makes you look very, very small.

Regards,
Sandra

This is funny coming from someone who sent me a PM calling me a w a n k e r.

Sort of a double standard, don't you think?

HOWEVER, since more than one person has said I take to many shots and the like, I will extremely tone down on my replies. Apologies to those who've been offended, hurt, teary eyed. I'll throttle back.

No offense here Willie. You were expressing your opinion, just like I was. Truth or fiction, Mayo has proven one thing: a fixie rider needs a thick skin.

If we can thicken it up here, all the better.

Thanks, William. You made my morning.

I've played 'em all. And you, my boy, are a Stradivarius.

Now, take two grains of salt and call me in the morning.

165...where should i ship those batteries?

I ditto both of Karsten's remarks.

Truth or fiction, Mayo has proven one thing: a fixie rider needs a thick skin.

I think he was trying to prove that we need helmets, now, that's just an opinion again.. :D

Back to cycle.

Now, take two grains of salt and call me in the morning.

Call you what? :D

165...where should i ship those batteries?
:roflmao:
I have been saving up quite a few...I think I am good for now.

You got to admit, that "hold the mayo" comment was kind of funny. No offense intended to anyone on my part, especially Mayo.

Get well, man. Keep posting, fact and fiction.

:roflmao:
I have been saving up quite a few...I think I am good for now.

Put them in an old tube sock, it's then a modified street bolo!

Though, I've never done nothing like that.

Reference has been made to crashes as a result of improper quick release tightening of the front wheel. Since being a dedicated "fixie" and not using quick release skewers anymore, I have wondered about the wisdom of them. A 15 mm wrench for tightening and loosening an axle nut weighs very little. It takes maybe 3 seconds to loosen a track nut. This quick release thing it seems to me was a marketing gimmick to give novices the idea that they needed an ultra fast wheel change to emulate Lance and the others, as they pull over on the side of the road on a $199 Target bike with narry a team car in sight. Many new cyclists do not understand the cam action of quick releases, and the result, especially with the front wheel, can be catastrophic.

What we ended up doing was provide an aide to thieves to get a wheel very quickly, at least to the ones who were not into theft to the extent of getting a 15 mm wrench as a tool of their trade. To add insult to injury they started to provide quick releases to the seat post, which then resulted in the response of people removing seat and post from the frame when they went into the store to get a quart of milk.

Sometimes it is better to regress!

Quick releases came about due to the ingenuity of Tulio Campagnolo. At the time wheels were nutted on with big wing nuts, on a freezing climb he flatted and couldn't get the nuts off to swap tubulars. When he returned home he started work on what has become the modern quick release.(Or so the story goes).
I have never had a quick release come loose and my rear fixed wheel used to be held on with one. Using a QR just requires engagement of the brain, something lots of people have trouble with. Maybe using a QR correctly could be a prerequisite for voting, having children, getting a drivers liscence, and other events that impact everyone.

Thans for the history on Q. releases Rev.

I think the fact remains however that they are unnessasary for novices, and children especially. Sometimes a group of kids bundle all their bikes together and put a chain through all of them in all sorts of configurations. When they get them apart, it is very possible that a front quick release lever will catch on another bikes spoke and loosen the cam. They then mount and bomb down the local hills with abandon.

My son's lever was opened for some mysterious reason when he parked it downtown for a short duration. I suspect someone just opened it just to be mischievious. I caught it in time fortunately.

A local Honduran kid was coming down the local hill when the front wheel decided to go its own way. The result was that he lost 4 brand new adult top teeth.

I don't know whether the above would all pass your intelligence test, but I think it is irrelevant. They are using a technology that is far in advance of their needs and adds to the risk of their passtime. Before they have figured out how to fix a flat (most phone home to Dad to come and get them and bike), we expect them to emulate Tulio Campagnolo.

My son's lever was opened for some mysterious reason when he parked it downtown for a short duration. I suspect someone just opened it just to be mischievious. I caught it in time fortunately.

I was not aware that childrens bikes have quick releases.

I was not aware that childrens bikes have quick releases.

You can buy bikes at WalMart with QR hubs now. I'm sure that every newbie who takes a bike home from Chuck's shop is instructed in the correct use of a quick release skewer. Unfortunately the same isn't true of a big box store. I'm not sure that the trained monkeys they have assembling the bikes know how to work a QR properly.

Quick releases are safe when used right. At our club century, I've seen quite a few riders who did not know how to use them right. I've showed them how to do it.

You can buy bikes at WalMart with QR hubs now.

Are you sure they are childrens bikes?