Commuting - How to convince my wife....

Hey all,

I'm wanting to start commuting again (I'm a wuss, and wont commute in the snow :D). Now I go to school in Gary, IN (Once the murder capital of the USA! ) and work in E. Chicago, IN (Not much better than Gary).

My wife is FREAKING out that I want to commute! I don't get it. I don't ride an expensive bike, so if someone wants it, they can have it (cost me $120 on CL). I have no $, so they can have my wallet. Worst case I might end up walking home.... I like to look on the bright side. When I would ride in, the Gang-Bangers are still asleep (or just going to bed), and when I go home they are just getting up (I doubt I would get hassled).

I offered to get a $500K Life Insurance Policy (need one anyways, I have 3 kids) and that didn't appease her.

She had the same objections last summer, when I commuted to school in Hammond, In. I never had a problem. I think part of her problem is she is never "on the ground" in these neighborhoods.... When I first started going to school here I was NERVOUS as all get out. Now, Its just another drive in the cage.

Any suggestions on winning her over? This is the ONLY exercise I get (I'm a fat kid. Always have been, always will be. Trying to keep it to a minimum) and I ENJOY it DAMN IT!

TIA

Billy

I really don't have much good advice, as I don't frequent those areas (I've driven through Gary in a car, and that's bad enough for me). But I would like to say to get some flat resistant tires. That way, you can always outrun the gangbangers without worrying about getting a flat, going down, and getting beat up.

tell her with the money you will save you will buy her a coach bag.

I don't know what level of self defense you would be comfortable with, but my wife would be appeased if I had my sidearm with me, and in your case maybe take some classes on firearm self defense. I also don't know the regs in IN, but getting a concealed carry permit in CO isn't that difficult. Both my wife and I have one, and hers is always in her handbag.

Before we moved to Denver she NEVER would have purchased a gun, let alone used one or carried one. It took her about three months of being here and she was all for it. I bought her a knife, first, and she felt a little safer, and then we took firearm safety classes and I got her a small Glock 9mm with a single stack clip. The thing could fit in your pocket! It only holds 7 rounds, but it's well enough to do quite a bit of damage in practiced hands.

If that won't do it for her, try adding on hand-to-hand self defense classes.

I'm a pretty cagey guy, an ex-NCAA wrestler and I train in MMA, and I carry a firearm with me most of the time, but even I would be wary of that commute and would probably just drive. You just never know what weirdo is going to put a round in you just because he feels like it.

When I was first thinking about buying a bike, and asking freinds advice about what to buy, one guy told me "Go to Costco and buy something cheap. That way, if it gets stolen, you can just buy a new one, and it won't be that big of a deal." You already have this covered.

Do they make reflective Kevlar vests?

She's being irrational. Just do it.

I keep my cell phone at my hip on all rides. That helps. Plus, helmet, sunglasses, and gloves contribute to your safety.

The thing is, you'll be safer riding the bike because you'll burn calories and get into shape. Good health will help you live longer. The fun of the ride will change your ways.

Mine was against it. But she never stopped me. Now she's all for it.

I ride 8.7 miles through Philadelphia right through North Philly. We have plenty of murders here and lots of them are right in the neighborhoods I ride through. Here are my tips. First ride fast. If you are going fast enough no one will bother you. Two ride with traffic. I think there is something psychological about riding in the street that makes people think of you as seperated from them. Finally find a busy street to ride on. I know this is the exact opposite of the advice you get most of the time for commuting but when you are mostly worried about thugs not cagers busy streets are safer.

I ride 8.7 miles through Philadelphia right through North Philly. We have plenty of murders here and lots of them are right in the neighborhoods I ride through. Here are my tips. First ride fast. If you are going fast enough no one will bother you. Two ride with traffic. I think there is something psychological about riding in the street that makes people think of you as seperated from them. Finally find a busy street to ride on. I know this is the exact opposite of the advice you get most of the time for commuting but when you are mostly worried about thugs not cagers busy streets are safer.

Good argument for VC. Don't be mistaken for an approachable pedestrian.

I'm a big guy(6' 215#) and a former US Marine. I'm not into MMA or anything, but if I had to, I can kick some ass (Hope to never have to.... I'm a bad Marine :D) While I have a CCW (Indiana has the EASIEST laws to get one) I cant carry at work (In a hospital) or at school (Cant carry in ANY School for ANY REASON - Dont you think the kids at VT would have liked to have one straped on?)

I dunno, I'm just not that worried about it.... Mabey I'm stupid (Mabey????) but I just dont think its that big of a deal....
I ride as fast as I can (when I'm in shape, and no massive head wind, I can probably average 15-18mph) but the potholes around here are like tank traps! I've seriously worried about wrecking the suspensioin on my car by driving around here. (I swear, Gary has the most corrupt politicians... they must do SOMETHING with the money the state gives them, but NOTHING gets done about the streets.... When it snow's they only plow going OUT of gary! I guess they figure no one wants to get in! :D)

Billy

I'm confused...

You asked permission?

One thing to consider is that most murders are committed in a domestic situation. However, this may vary for the region you're traveling through (I'm not familiar with it) ... but in general, it's more likely that your wife is going to shoot you than a random stranger.

She has me VERY well trained :D I ask, even if I have no intention of doing what she wants....

Better than my Father in law.... I have my testcles.... His are in his wifes purse!

it's more likely that your wife is going to shoot you than a random stranger.

You MUST know my wife!

Before we moved to Denver she NEVER would have purchased a gun, let alone used one or carried one. It took her about three months of being here and she was all for it. I bought her a knife, first, and she felt a little safer, and then we took firearm safety classes and I got her a small Glock 9mm with a single stack clip. The thing could fit in your pocket! It only holds 7 rounds, but it's well enough to do quite a bit of damage in practiced hands.

I hope I never get on you guys' bad side...

It drives me NUTS... I have a CCW but CANT USE IT! I cant carry at school and cant carry at work.... Whats the point of having it? So I can carry in the house? I never go ANYWHERE! :(

One thing to consider is that most murders are committed in a domestic situation. However, this may vary for the region you're traveling through (I'm not familiar with it) ... but in general, it's more likely that your wife is going to shoot you than a random stranger.

In the US, there's a rough correlation. If the murder rate is high, the most common sort of murder is where two people know each other (not just spouses). If the murder rate is low, the most common sort of murder is where the people involved are strangers.

Even in places where drive by shootings happen often, they're *not* the most likely way to end up dead.

I'd probably start by encouraging her to go out for a walk in your neighborhood with you. If she has personal experience that just being outside is not lethal, she'll be more comfortable with a bike ride :). (this reduces the risk that her response to you biking to work is "that's not safe! I'm gonna kill him for endangering himself like that!" :D )

I'd probably start by encouraging her to go out for a walk in your neighborhood with you. If she has personal experience that just being outside is not lethal, she'll be more comfortable with a bike ride :). (this reduces the risk that her response to you biking to work is "that's not safe! I'm gonna kill him for endangering himself like that!" :D )


See, OUR neighborhood is great.... Its Gary and E. Chicago she is freaked out about..... This county is weird... Very small, and has almost 20 "Cities" in it.... I swear, Unincorporated Fallbrook Ca has more land area than Lake Co. IN.... We are in the nicest (IMHO) neighborhood in the county, and are only about 8 miles from downtown Gary....

# of people who die in car accidents in the county: _____________
# of people who are murdered riding through bad neighborhoods: _______________

Facts are probably pointless though, as irrational fear is just that...

Dont forget the number of cyclists run over by stupid cagers too busy talking on their cellphones to be bothered with controlling their multi-ton vehicles.....

this won't really help you, because, as others have pointed out, irrational fear is irrational. She most likely has decided and no arguments otherwise will change her mind.

However, I've had two recent experiences in my life which have changed what I think when I hear the phrase "bad neighborhood". First my wife and I move to C-bus and due to situations beyond our control the only places we could afford to live were what were considered "bad neighborhoods". Now granted the one decided on was not the worst available at the time, however it is considered by all of my coworkers a "no go area". We've been here for 3 years now and (knocking on wood) have had zero problems (other than some annoying neighbors, noise and garbage, the usual).

Second I took a long trip to Mexico City. In reading about the city ahead of time, I was ready for the worst. I got myself into peak physical condition (running on the weekends on top of biking). I got to the city and on most nights found myself a long walk from the hotel after dinner. In walking around at night I realized I didn't feel any less safe than I would have in any American city walking around.

granted these are two very anectdotal evidences, however these two experiences started me questioning my underlying assumptions, and whether or not the fear of "bad neighborhoods" is more rooted in bigotry and a fear of people not like ourselves, than in a statistical analysis of the dangers faced.

Are they more dangerous than a "good neighborhood"? sure. But is it such a signifcant trend that you should avoid them? I'm not so sure.

this won't really help you, because, as others have pointed out, irrational fear is irrational. She most likely has decided and no arguments otherwise will change her mind.

However, I've had two recent experiences in my life which have changed what I think when I hear the phrase "bad neighborhood". First my wife and I move to C-bus and due to situations beyond our control the only places we could afford to live were what were considered "bad neighborhoods". Now granted the one decided on was not the worst available at the time, however it is considered by all of my coworkers a "no go area". We've been here for 3 years now and (knocking on wood) have had zero problems (other than some annoying neighbors, noise and garbage, the usual).

Second I took a long trip to Mexico City. In reading about the city ahead of time, I was ready for the worst. I got myself into peak physical condition (running on the weekends on top of biking). I got to the city and on most nights found myself a long walk from the hotel after dinner. In walking around at night I realized I didn't feel any less safe than I would have in any American city walking around.

granted these are two very anectdotal evidences, however these two experiences started me questioning my underlying assumptions, and whether or not the fear of "bad neighborhoods" is more rooted in bigotry and a fear of people not like ourselves, than in a statistical analysis of the dangers faced.

Are they more dangerous than a "good neighborhood"? sure. But is it such a signifcant trend that you should avoid them? I'm not so sure.

I agree wholeheartedly.

If you don't bother people and don't loiter late at night, you'll be safe. The one issue you can face is that some teenagers get together and make a sport out of attacking people. That's rare. But if you see a group of teens that look threatening, be extra careful.

I know this is somewhat irrelevant, but people tend to worry about things they imagine. I do a lot of rock and glacier climbing. People keep saying "That is so dangerous!"

I tell them, fact is, a couple of years ago in Washington, only 4 or 5 people died in climbing accidents, and one of those was a heart attack. People died EVERY DAY in car accidents in Washington. There were 60 murders just in Seattle. 142 homeless people died of various causes on the streets of Seattle in 2006.

How many bicyclists were murdered in Indiana in the last year? Any? How many people were killed in carjackings or road-rage incidents?

I think part of the problem is that the perception is based on what you see.... We just got back from lunch, and driving through Gary is like driving through a war zone.... Trash is EVERYWHERE. Buildings are falling appart. People have knocked out the lenses in the street lights....

Its hard to feel safe in a place like that.

BTW, How hard is it to pick up the trash in your yard? Or to not just throw your trash out into the alley? I understand that the mill jobs have dried up, and that the economy around here is in the dumps, but why do these people insist on living in squalor? I know this sounds biggited, but its realy not. It has nothing to do with race.... Having lived all over this country, I've noticed a trend. In "economicaly challenged neighborhoods" there tends to be trash everywhere and the houses are not maintained... It seems to be endemic to the economic status, not the color of someones skin.

Just curious - why do YOU live there?

have my testcles....

Obviously not, if you came to the internet to ask this question.

Just start riding. She'll be annoyed, in a couple weeks nothing bad will have happened, and she'll be used to the idea, and won't care anymore.

Just curious - why do YOU live there?
I dont. I live in Highland, wich is a VERY nice community.... It just happens to be near Gary

I dont. I live in Highland, wich is a VERY nice community.... It just happens to be near Gary

Gotcha.

Just watch what you wear... If you go through the 'hood looking like Lance, you might inspire some loathing and inadvertently make yourself a target. Sort of the opposite of me when I used to run pre-dawn in a middle-class Seattle city park, and make a point of wearing a reflective vest. It was on a pedestrian trail, so I didn't really need the vest, but wearing it sort of said to early morning dog-walkers "I am not a mugger - do not pepper-spray me!" when I came running up to them on the trail in the dark.

;)

Gotcha.

???? I LIVE in Highland and WORK in E. Chicago and go to SCHOOL in Gary ??????

My wife worried more about my sky diving than cycle commuting.

I would think that she would not worry about a devil dog unless you were in Iraq.

???? I LIVE in Highland and WORK in E. Chicago and go to SCHOOL in Gary ??????

Gotcha = I see. I get it. Ah. Oh. I understand.

Gotcha = I see. I get it. Ah. Oh. I understand.

I doubt it. :rolleyes:

You are no more likely to be jacked on a bicycle than in a car. Make sure you get some flat resistant tires (or bomb resistant Schwalbe Marathon Plus's). Get your insurance policy (because it is the right thing to do, not because you ride a bike).

You will most likely die of a heart attack being fat and sedentary than being attacked or run over on a bike. Tell that to your wife.

Enjoy!

Winning her over??That's a losing battle.Come on,act like you have a pair!Think she'll leave ya if you just do it?

Hope you win.

All this probability, likelihood and possibility talk have me funked.

Coming from the math side of things, probability doesn't mean squat in life. Just because the probability is 1 in 3mm that you'll win the lotto doesn't mean you won't be the one...it just means 3mm people will try and one will win. There is no way to use inductive reasoning to come to any conclusions that because 4-5 climbers died that you won't be one of them next year.

Climbers always have a saying: A fatal fall can occur at ground level.

I don't care. One way to look at it is through the eyes of Joe Jackson: "Everything gives you cancer...Fosters gives you cancer!!!!" Meaning you can't avoid it, even in a can of your favorite water/beer.

However, I liked to be prepared, and I would carry. In fact, I'm so dead set on it that I would find a way to bring it, even if it means locking it up outside or finding a local train station with lockers or something...I would find a way.

Before we moved to Denver she NEVER would have purchased a gun, let alone used one or carried one. It took her about three months of being here and she was all for it. I bought her a knife, first, and she felt a little safer, and then we took firearm safety classes and I got her a small Glock 9mm with a single stack clip. The thing could fit in your pocket! It only holds 7 rounds, but it's well enough to do quite a bit of damage in practiced hands.

If that won't do it for her, try adding on hand-to-hand self defense classes.
.

ARE YOU F@#$%&^NG SERIOUS
IF YOU ARE THAT SCARED FOR YOUR LIVES HERES A HINT ............MOVE

As for the OP your wife has to understand that danger is everywhere car, bike walking
good luck on the commute
O'

First and foremost guys, the wife actually CARES about what happens to Devildogmech, which is why she is so concerned. I am a 5'2" female who rides through a very bad part of town. I also happen to have a CCW but I work at the courthouse. Therefore, carrying my handgun is not an option for me. My husband is/was/continues to be concerned for my safety as I commute. I am former military so I do have some experience in self defense and I am weapons trained. For my commute, I went to the gun store and bought a personal taser (cost $50.00) that will immobilize anyone it touches within 2 seconds. It's lightweight and I can tuck in in my backpack where it is well hidden when I get to work.

It doesn't really matter if you live in a good neighborhood or a bad neighborhood. Everytime we swing our leg over the saddle, we ALL face the possibility that something bad could happen to us. We live with it.

Devildogmech: As a wife, my only piece of advise is this - try to ease her mind and genuinely explain that you feel you need to do this. You need to do it for your health, your sanity, and your peace of mind. Agree to buy the taser....talk to her....she only cares.

I am former military so I do have some experience in self defense and I am weapons trained. For my commute, I went to the gun store and bought a personal taser (cost $50.00) that will immobilize anyone it touches within 2 seconds. It's lightweight and I can tuck in in my backpack where it is well hidden when I get to work.

I.

This is BS maybe they should have trained you better
You Keep a tazer in your back back
"thats a handy place for it when the **** hits the fan"
Oh wait mr mugger let me undo my back pack wich you are wrestling me for so I can get my Taser
Thankyou very much ZZZZZAAAAPP have a nice day

If you people are seriosly this concerned about your well being see my previous post

No, no, no owenh. I keep my taser on my person, actually on my waistband, until I hit my work. THEN I tuck it away in my backpack. And...not all of us have the luxury of just moving......uprooting family.....costs money....leaving jobs....etc.

IF YOU ARE THAT SCARED FOR YOUR LIVES HERES A HINT ............MOVE


You make an interesting point. I used to live in an area where there was a lot of crime... Rather than escalate defense procedures, I moved to a different neighborhood.

You are going to lose someday and die. Today, tomorrow, when you 80, no one knows. Don't do things that are suicidal - but don't go worrying about minor stuff. Better that you enjoy everyday so when you check out, life was worth living.

Or as a friend said once "It is going to be so sad when those who tried so hard to protect themselves eventually end up dying of nothing."

I once read a study said the health benefits outweigh the risk while commuting 20 to 1.

This is BS maybe they should have trained you better
You Keep a tazer in your back back
"thats a handy place for it when the **** hits the fan"
Oh wait mr mugger let me undo my back pack wich you are wrestling me for so I can get my Taser
Thankyou very much ZZZZZAAAAPP have a nice day

If you people are seriosly this concerned about your well being see my previous post

I did not find her post that hard to understand!:rolleyes:
Maybe read post a second time before you start dumping.

I could be wrong, but I think you're less likely to become a crime victim on the way to work on a bike than in a car.

First of all, armed robbery is armed robbery, whether the crooks is after a $30,000 car or a $300 bike. I think the prison sentence is the same. But with a bike, the getaway vehicle is much slower and fetches a tiny fraction of the crack/meth money that a car does. If you jack a car, all you have to do is pull off a few pricey parts and you have easily netted as much as you would get from a carbon fiber road bike.

Then there's the fact that it's not exactly easy to assault someone on a bike. Anyone who comes after you will be on foot. They can't run as fast as you can ride, so they would have to somehow ambush you by jumping out in front of you. The drawback of this is that they see you, and that they run a good risk of getting knocked down themselves. Moreover, in order to ambush a bike, they have to predict exactly where you will ride. Quite hard to do unless you are on a bike trail.

The most dangerous part of anyone's commute, in terms of crime, is walking from their workplace to their parked car. That's where I would hang out if I wished to stick a gun or knife in someone's back and take their wallet. It's quite easy to intercept someone in a dark parking lot and sneak up behind them. But with a bike, long walks through dark parking lots and alleys is a part of the commuting process that you get to skip. Basically, you are rolling at 15mph almost as soon as you step out he door.

Why do people think that carrying around a gun will make them safer? Don't get that. It seems like a good way to get shot.

Anyways, it should be fine and hopefully your wife will come around. Areas with high murder rates have high murder rates primarily because drug dealers are killing other drug dealers.

She has me VERY well trained :D I ask, even if I have no intention of doing what she wants....

Better than my Father in law.... I have my testcles.... His are in his wifes purse!

Give it time. ;)

No, no, no owenh. I keep my taser on my person, actually on my waistband, until I hit my work. THEN I tuck it away in my backpack. And...not all of us have the luxury of just moving......uprooting family.....costs money....leaving jobs....etc.


Yep understood taser on waist band
How much is your life worth? how much is the kids having a mum/dad worth
OH stuff it ... forget I said anything just ride along paranoid and be happier for it

Just do it. Being on a bike has got to be one of the safest ways to get through any "bad neighbourhood". You can easily move fast enough to escape an assailant on foot. You can't get trapped in traffic at a red light. You can outmanoeuver anyone in a car by crossing median strips, etc. You can generally avoid coming to a stop at all by pacing yourself, without inconveniencing other traffic. In other words, you're going to be moving a constant 10-25kph, on a highly manoeuvrable little vehicle worth nothing - how the hell is someone going to cause you grief? And why would they? Thugs pick on easy defenseless targets who look like they have expensive property on them. A big guy on a cheap bike? Um, no.

Just do it.

Steve

I don't know what level of self defense you would be comfortable with, but my wife would be appeased if I had my sidearm with me, and in your case maybe take some classes on firearm self defense. I also don't know the regs in IN, but getting a concealed carry permit in CO isn't that difficult. Both my wife and I have one, and hers is always in her handbag.

Before we moved to Denver she NEVER would have purchased a gun, let alone used one or carried one. It took her about three months of being here and she was all for it. I bought her a knife, first, and she felt a little safer, and then we took firearm safety classes and I got her a small Glock 9mm with a single stack clip. The thing could fit in your pocket! It only holds 7 rounds, but it's well enough to do quite a bit of damage in practiced hands.

If that won't do it for her, try adding on hand-to-hand self defense classes.

I'm a pretty cagey guy, an ex-NCAA wrestler and I train in MMA, and I carry a firearm with me most of the time, but even I would be wary of that commute and would probably just drive. You just never know what weirdo is going to put a round in you just because he feels like it.

A firearm isn't going to do much if you're dealing with gangbangers who are probably much better armed.

A firearm isn't going to do much if you're dealing with gangbangers who are probably much better armed.

You would be surprised. Around here, the most common weapon pulled off of gangbangers are little $200 POS .380 or .22lr plastic pistols. They are JUNK and usually dont work all that well or that accuratly. Fine for a second or "backup" weapon, but hardly something to take into combat..... You also need to remember, that most of these kids have NO training in weapons useage. It reminds me of the story of Wild Bill Hicock. He was sitting playing cards, when some kid jumped him, fired all six rounds from his revolver and MISSED because he was jumpy and didnt aim. Wild Bill simply stood up, aimed and put one round in his chest....

That said, I hope to NEVER have a round come my way. I avoided it in the USMC and hope to continue to.

Well, I did it. I rode 18mi roundtrip yesterday. It was very plesent (except for the stench of stale urine when passing some of the store fronts). I did get stopped by a Highland Cop for "impeding traffic" (see my other thread on that matter :D). I had several people give me the "what is that crazy white boy doing?" look, and even a few "good mornings". A nice ride that only takes about 40 minuets each way.

Billy

Move