Jokes & Humor - .

A guy walks into a doctor''s office. He has a sausage coming out of his ear, a waffle coming out of his nose, and bacon coming out of his other ear. He says worriedly, "Doc, what''s wrong with me?!?"

The doctor replies, "You''re not eating properly."

Boom tish! :)

I really got to stop coming to the joke threads its beginning to cost a lot of money to have the stench in my computer professionally cleaned :D

A grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a beer.
Bartender: You know we have a drink named after you.
Grasshopper: Why would you have a drink named "Bob"?

Travelling salesman rings a doorbell. Door is opened by a boy, eight years old, wearing a top hat and a tutu. He has a large martini in one hand, a cigar in the other.
"Young man, are your parents at home?" asks the travelling salesman.

Replies the boy, "What the **** do _you_ think?"

Jesse Jackson, Maria Conchito Alonzo, and a tiny crab walk into a bar. The tiny crab orders a Hennesey and Coke, a banana daquiri and a bowl of draft beer.

The bartender comes back with the drinks and says "Let me guess who gets what," and the crab says, "They're all for me."

The bartender does a double take, and says, "All three are for YOU?"

And the tiny crab says, "I'm a little shellfish."

:p

Where do you get these from Chris? I mean really... ;)

Where do you get these from Chris? I mean really... ;)

You don't really want to know, trust me. :D

I think somebody eats a lot of Laffy Taffy's (assuming that candy is marketed in Australia)

Chris, you are a forum moderator.

That explains why these posts haven't been moved to another forum.

:D

Q: How does a sore throat have lunch?
A: It eats like a hoarse.

Q: Why did the bunny go to the salon?
A: To get a new hare-do.

Q: What do you call a man with a car on his head?
A: Stupid.