Commuting - Yelled at, then busted!

I’ve been waiting for something like this to happen for a long time.

As I've raved about before, there's a school on my commute and the busses and cars get pretty crowded around the school with parents dropping off their kids. This morning as a minivan passed two kids with masks on yelled at me, one through the open sliding door, and the other from the front passenger window. The school is southeast middle school, in Forsyth County so the kids where probably 7th or 8th grade. Anyone who commutes knows this is a fairly common occurrence and no big deal once you get used to it. The difference this time was the knuckleheads did it 100 yards from a school where a Sheriff’s deputy was directing traffic.

I rode past their van, right up to the deputy, and blocked traffic while I explained to the deputy what had happened. At this point the van was a few cars back in the line of traffic and as I explained I pointed to van and you could see Mom, the driver, hang her head. Once the van got to us I explained again to the deputy so Mom and the kids could hear and asked the deputy if I could press charges. Mom’s face went pale. The deputy pointed out to Mom that I was right and that I was entitled to all the rights a car has.

I told them I wouldn’t press charges and went on to make an in-appropriate remark about Mom’s parenting skills. For some reason she became very indignant. I pointed out to her that if she has to answer to a sheriff’s deputy for her kids’ actions she might not be doing a very good job of keeping an eye on them.

I then smiled and told them to have a nice day and rode on to work.

The dig at the mum's parenting skills probably wasn't necessary, but then, I'd probably have done the same thing. :)

Otherwise, that's a beautiful story. Thanks for that.

Glad you stuck to your principles!! Chalk up one for the cyclists (and an informed deputy). :beer:

You know... I don't quite agree with Allister.

I believe that the behavior of the kids are reflections on how the parents raise the kids. Snotty kids come from snotty parents. Good, well-behaved kids come from respectable, responsible parenting. I'd be the first one to accuse the mother of doing a bad job if that happened to me.

When I was growing up, my parents made a point of making sure their 7 children were well behaved, quiet kids who had respect for adults and authority. We might have shouted and played in the backyard, but in public, people were always astounded at how well-behaved and respectful we were. "Yes ma'am" and "yes sir" were how we addressed adults (unless we were saying no! ;) ), and my parents never had a problem taking us out for dinner, movies, the theater, etc. Kids really need to be disiplined for their behavior, but at the same time, parents need to teach their kids good manners and respect for the people they encounter, authority, and other adults they may run into.

I would have told the cop to give the traffic citation.

Koffee

P.S. Oh yeah, good job on getting the cops involved, though.

The deputy pointed out to Mom that I was right and that I was entitled to all the rights a car has.
I like this story a whole lot more than the one about the police officer who told the cyclist, "Ride on the sidewalk, where you belong," then issued a ticket when the cyclist asked the officer for his name. Glad to see police officers who know their job.

Personally, I consider drivers who feel the need to shout at cyclists and tell them, "Ride on the sidewalk," or something similar, to be harrassing, distracting and even provoking, something which could be dangerous in traffic.

So what you managed to do was make 2 kids who were just joking around and caused no harm realize that their taunts were working. If they did not threaten you what is the big deal. Sounds like you wasted everyones time and looked like a big cry baby to the kids, the mother and the police officer.

So what you managed to do was make 2 kids who were just joking around and caused no harm realize that their taunts were working. If they did not threaten you what is the big deal. Sounds like you wasted everyones time and looked like a big cry baby to the kids, the mother and the police officer.


Don't agree with you there.

If the kids get away with it they'll do it again. What if the next time they do it the cyclist gets a fright and veers into traffic or into the kerb (curb)?

Don't you think the point is that the kids here obviously didn't show respect to another, and the fact that it was pointed out to them will make them think twice about doing it again?

How often do you commute in traffic.? Is it kidding around if kids yell in your ear, or pat a female cyclists ass as the pass, or throw a bottle or a golf ball?

Just when does kidding around start being something else.?

What is the more likely result? I think the right thing was done and the kids should be made aware that their actions were unacceptable. However, I'm wondering if the parent had enough sense to put blame where it was due. Did the parent sit the kiddies down and explain what is and is not appropriate behavior? Or did the parent yell "Sit down, shut up and eat your !@#$%^& happy meal!" and then grumble about "F#$%^&* cyclists" the rest of the way home within earshot of the kiddies further undermining their respect for cyclists as legitimate users of the road.

I agree that kids who do this in 7th/8th grade, will likely be the types who throw bottles out the window at cyclist when they are full blown teenagers.

The kids just yelled at you? Granted, that's not nice and no one would appreciate it. Sure, the parents should teach them not to do that, etc...

But what would you press charges for? How can someone be given a ticket for yelling? I didn't realize that was a crime.

I ride my bike 2 or 3 times a week to work. All I can say is he was used to it. Second he was by a school. Third he passed the car on the inside while the door was open which leads me to believe he was in the wrong in the first place unless he was in a bike lane. I also ride my motorcycle to work fairly often and when I pass schools the kids yell things like do a wheelie and such. I guess this could cause me to veer if I am not paying attention so next time I will go to the police and report them.

I am not trying to pick a fight. It just seems like a stupid thing to be proud of.

boorish behavior and not good parenting....my wife once taught middle school in winston-salem so i am familiar with that!!!

that being said...what are you going to charge the kids with??? one count of saying mean things???? felony obnoxiousness???

i'm afraid not much was accomplished...probably pissed off a few more people against bikers though.

i once commuted by bike in W-S...we need all the friends we can get!!!!!!!

So what you managed to do was make 2 kids who were just joking around and caused no harm realize that their taunts were working. If they did not threaten you what is the big deal. Sounds like you wasted everyones time and looked like a big cry baby to the kids, the mother and the police officer.

Sounds like a kid posted this reply. So you think taunting others on the road is OK huh? I hope you don't taunt one of the crazies out there carrying a weapon or you may become road kill.

I ride my bike 2 or 3 times a week to work. All I can say is he was used to it. Second he was by a school. Third he passed the car on the inside while the door was open which leads me to believe he was in the wrong in the first place unless he was in a bike lane. I also ride my motorcycle to work fairly often and when I pass schools the kids yell things like do a wheelie and such. I guess this could cause me to veer if I am not paying attention so next time I will go to the police and report them.

I am not trying to pick a fight. It just seems like a stupid thing to be proud of.



If you read his post the van passed him. With an open door. great parents allowing that eh?

Being used to it is not relevant. If I get a golf ball thrown at me every week when cycling past a housing scheme do I just get used to it.? I get cut up by cars in traffic all the time, and I'm used to it. Does that mean it doesn't matter.?

I didn't get the impression he was proud, just happy that he could take immediate action.

There is a whole lot of difference between kids shouting "Tour de France" or "Lance", and I think the poster wouldn't have reacted if the yell had been encouragement or friendly. Perhaps he'll clarify.

Your point about veering on your motorbike is facetious.

The incident just clarifies the lack of parenting control nowadays. Kids get away with virtually anything. I hope you wouldn't let your kids shout at anyone out of a moving car.

Or did the parent yell "Sit down, shut up and eat your !@#$%^& happy meal!" and then grumble about "F#$%^&* cyclists" the rest of the way home within earshot of the kiddies further undermining their respect for cyclists as legitimate users of the road.

As I said before, people don't have to enjoy keeping their mouth shut and behaving themselves, they just have to do it. If getting the police to enforce compliance costs a little respect, I'm all for it.

that being said...what are you going to charge the kids with??? one count of saying mean things???? felony obnoxiousness???

i'm afraid not much was accomplished...probably pissed off a few more people against bikers though.

Getting a charge isn't always necessary in situations like this. Often a "lecture" from the police is more than sufficient. Again, people can be as pissed of as they like, as long as they behave themselves. Personally I'd rather deal with behaving pissed off people than non-behaving "respectful" people.

As I said before, people don't have to enjoy keeping their mouth shut and behaving themselves, they just have to do it. If getting the police to enforce compliance costs a little respect, I'm all for it.
This guy, Chris L has my vote, come election time.

CWODave, in response to unprovoked aggression, used one of the legal options available to him in a civil manner. Right on CWODave!

To the appeasers & rationalizers: If a puppy pisses on your floor - you spank it once on the butt and say NO loudly. You don't ignore the puppy's actions because the puppy may come and poo on your carpet later. You don't ignore it because you hope it will stop pissing on its own accord. You don't ignore it because you don't want to hurt its little puppy feelings. Even if it isn't your puppy. You have a duty to your fellow man to spank his little puppy butt.

This country (possibly the world) needs more people that refuse to allow other people to act uncivilly to them. I, like CWODave, am one of those mean old farts that will not let an unnecessarily rude action pass without addressing the issue. The general practice of appeasement to the wilding youth has lead to society producing far to many citizens with MattC's cognitive programing. Wouldn't a group of 14 year old boys stranded on an island come up with a similar set of social constructs, as MattC's?

I think you did exactly the right thing - thanks for sharing.

CWODave, in response to unprovoked aggression, used one of the legal options available to him in a civil manner. Right on CWODave!

Civil is the key word here, I just went back and re-read the original post:


I rode past their van, right up to the deputy, and blocked traffic while I explained to the deputy what had happened. At this point the van was a few cars back in the line of traffic and as I explained I pointed to van and you could see Mom, the driver, hang her head. Once the van got to us I explained again to the deputy so Mom and the kids could hear and asked the deputy if I could press charges. Mom’s face went pale. The deputy pointed out to Mom that I was right and that I was entitled to all the rights a car has.

I told them I wouldn’t press charges and went on to make an in-appropriate remark about Mom’s parenting skills. For some reason she became very indignant. I pointed out to her that if she has to answer to a sheriff’s deputy for her kids’ actions she might not be doing a very good job of keeping an eye on them.

Frankly, I'm surprised that there was any mention of tickets in the replies to the original post (or at least, about as surprised as I get over anything in cyberspace these days). Nobody was issued a ticket -- and I think the caution from the police was quite sufficient. Hopefully that will be enough to put a stop to this sort of behaviour in this instance. If not, maybe next time this mystery "ticket" might just get pulled out.

I think the police were well within their right to issue a citation to the offending party.

This is one of those rare times when the police are actually there at the time a moving violation is committed- and at least in Chicago, if a cyclist has a complaint against a person driving, unless the driver agrees to stick around until the police arrive (unlikely) or the police are there at the time of the offense, then they will get away with it. I would make a point of giving the woman a ticket and letting every car he backed up while talking to the cop know that their actions have consequences and if they mess with a cyclist, they will get ticketed. If more drivers were held accountable for their actions, perhaps they wouldn't be getting off so easily when they actually DO commit an offense that leads to bodily injury or harm against a cyclist.

Koffee

I agree that something should have been said to the officer. I basically have no respect for many people's parenting skills and that is why I made that comment. It really is a shame that children would act this way while in the car with a parent. Stupid behavior is to be expected from even well mannered kids. Stupidity is a natural part of growth. But to have the lack of discipline to be really stupid with a parent present is just plain sad and just shows that the parent has no control and is failing miserably.

The really sad part about this story is that these kids are being driven to school by their mother in the first place. They probably live close enough to the school to bicycle there, and 25 years ago that's most likely how they would have gotten to school every day. It just shows how screwed up our society is if parents won't let their kids bicycle to school because 'it's too dangerous', or if the kids are just too lazy to do so, take your pick. And the reason the roads are too dangerous is because all those damn parents are out on them driving their kids to school...good grief!!!

You know... I don't quite agree with Allister.

I believe that the behavior of the kids are reflections on how the parents raise the kids. Snotty kids come from snotty parents. Good, well-behaved kids come from respectable, responsible parenting. I'd be the first one to accuse the mother of doing a bad job if that happened to me. .

Did I say otherwise? Undoubtedly, if the mother let her kids behave this way without reproaching them, I dare say she isn't exactle going for mother of the year. I merely meant that what with being pulled over and threatened with a ticket it wasn't really necessary for Dave to lecture her further, nor was it really his place. If he really wanted to rub it in he would have let the ticket stand. I would have, given the same circumstances.

Rest assured if my kids acted this way towards anyone in any situation their feet wouldn't touch the ground.

I also said that I'd have probably done the same thing (ie. take the verbal dig at her parenting skills) myself as well. I might have also called into question her own lineage, but then I'm not very good at being wise in the moment.

Did I say otherwise? Undoubtedly, if the mother let her kids behave this way without reproaching them, I dare say she isn't exactle going for mother of the year. I merely meant that what with being pulled over and threatened with a ticket it wasn't really necessary for Dave to lecture her further, nor was it really his place. If he really wanted to rub it in he would have let the ticket stand. I would have, given the same circumstances.

Rest assured if my kids acted this way towards anyone in any situation their feet wouldn't touch the ground.

I also said that I'd have probably done the same thing (ie. take the verbal dig at her parenting skills) myself as well. I might have also called into question her own lineage, but then I'm not very good at being wise in the moment.

You DID state otherwise... I don't consider a lecture as being a "dig" about her parenting skills- he was well within his right to call her on the behavior of her children. That is not a "dig", that's telling her that her children are behaving inapprorpriately and that she needs to spend a bit more time schooling her children to behave with more respect towards other individuals, AND it's telling her that she's not doing her job by letting her kids get away with that sort of behavior.

That's all I was saying.

Koffee

The really sad part about this story is that these kids are being driven to school by their mother in the first place. They probably live close enough to the school to bicycle there, and 25 years ago that's most likely how they would have gotten to school every day. It just shows how screwed up our society is if parents won't let their kids bicycle to school because 'it's too dangerous', or if the kids are just too lazy to do so, take your pick. And the reason the roads are too dangerous is because all those damn parents are out on them driving their kids to school...good grief!!!


I would think the main reason most parents don't let their kids ride bikes to school is they would get tired of replacing the bikes after getting trashed at the bike racks, or stolen while locked up.

I would think the main reason most parents don't let their kids ride bikes to school is they would get tired of replacing the bikes after getting trashed at the bike racks, or stolen while locked up.

I think this is actually the farthest thing from the parents' minds. They might be thinking about this just a little; but I'd rather believe that their kids safety while riding, rather than the cost of replacing stolen or vandalized bikes, is the parents' main concern. The reality is that parents are paranoid and kids are just f'n lazy these days. And if there is a bicycle theft/vandalism problem, this just means that the schools have $hitty bike parking and bicycle security for their students, and there really is no excuse for that...this part is the school's resposibility, and the parents can chime in about any problems at the monthly PTA meeting...

I teach in a middle school with 6th 7th and 8th graders in a pretty rough neighborhood.

There is no reason why they can not be polite. I have a whole bunch of kids who are polite and respectful and I dearly love them.

I also have a whole bunch who are not. Yes, it is mostly the parents and family who set the tone.

And, they need to be called on their inappropriate behavior, and it needs to be corrected.

You were right on. I like the use of the Sheriff. Handy he was there.

But what would you press charges for? How can someone be given a ticket for yelling? I didn't realize that was a crime.

Try this. Next time you drive past a motor cylce cop yell at him and see what his response is. I bet you get a ticket.

CHEERS.

Mark

I teach in a middle school with 6th 7th and 8th graders in a pretty rough neighborhood.

There is no reason why they can not be polite. I have a whole bunch of kids who are polite and respectful and I dearly love them.

I also have a whole bunch who are not. Yes, it is mostly the parents and family who set the tone.

And, they need to be called on their inappropriate behavior, and it needs to be corrected.

You were right on. I like the use of the Sheriff. Handy he was there.
Picking battles is a good thing, but I agree with Denver that sometimes you have to hold kids accountable. This opinion is based on being a parent, myself.

Today, kids really have no fear. Fear from what? Getting yelled at by a police officer, teacher or by their parents? Even juvy for some kids isnt scary but just another break from school. If I would have been in that position, I would have filed charges. I probably wouldnt have made a positive change for the kids attitudes but it probably wouldnt have hurt either. I used to pull a lot of crap when I was a kid, probably the catholic school up bringing, but it wasnt until I got the crap kicked out of me by my best friends sisters older boyfriend. He was about 8 years older and about 100 lbs heavier than I was. I just chucked a snowball at his car and he came out and pummled me big time. There was a huge spot of blood on the ground from my nose and I had a pants full of piss. After that incident, I never had the urge to throw snowballs at cars. My point is, I agree with the other poster who mentioned a butt spanking on some kids. Unfortunately thats the only was SOME kids learn. I was one of those kids.

Chewa, these kids did not throw a golf ball at anyone so please don't say they will since you have no clue if they will or wont. I am sorry if you have had teenagers throw stuff at you but this does not make all kids bad.

I am sorry if you have had teenagers throw stuff at you but this does not make all kids bad.

Dood, ALL kids are bad...

:D

Koffee

It's not that kids have no fear; it's that they have no manners. It's really the parents that are afraid, otherwise, they'd let their kids ride their bikes to school, rather than driving them. Unfortunately, it is then the parents in motor vehicles that create and become the safety hazard that prevents kids from riding to school. What a crazy mixed up world we live in...the decadent end of the western european / american epoch...soon we'll be out of oil, w/o medical care and other essential services, and no doubt scavenging off the remains of western civilization and living in lean-tos and caves again, after surburbia inevitably collapses under its own weight....

Don't agree with you there.

If the kids get away with it they'll do it again. What if the next time they do it the cyclist gets a fright and veers into traffic or into the kerb (curb)?

Don't you think the point is that the kids here obviously didn't show respect to another, and the fact that it was pointed out to them will make them think twice about doing it again?

How often do you commute in traffic.? Is it kidding around if kids yell in your ear, or pat a female cyclists ass as the pass, or throw a bottle or a golf ball?

Just when does kidding around start being something else.?

I agree with you totally. Once, when I was a kid of 12-14, I was on my bicycle riding next to the curb, doing my best to obey the traffic laws and stay out of the cages' way. Some teens came along, and one grabbed my arm - and scared the crap out of me! He only held on for a second or three, but it was all I could do to stay on my bike and not hit the curb or worse, go under the car.

Now I'm 46, and by golly, if someone gives me hell, I'm pulling out my cell phone and calling the cops.

Sounds like a kid posted this reply. So you think taunting others on the road is OK huh? I hope you don't taunt one of the crazies out there carrying a weapon or you may become road kill.

Haha, owned!

If a passenger is hanging out of an open door of a moving vehicle, I think the driver's license should be suspended for negligence. Why aren't the kids in seatbelts and doors closed? You can't just keep driving when stuff like this is happening in your car.

Picking battles is a good thing, but I agree with Denver that sometimes you have to hold kids accountable. This opinion is based on being a parent, myself.

Sometimes? ALWAYS. Snotleigh and Bratleigh need to be made to behave. I'm glad the sheriff didn't spout the "kids will be kids" riff, as happens all too often. As for Ma, nothing wrong there that a shot of Depo-Provera couldn't fix, to prevent future contraceptive failures.

Chewa, these kids did not throw a golf ball at anyone so please don't say they will since you have no clue if they will or wont. I am sorry if you have had teenagers throw stuff at you but this does not make all kids bad.

Chewa said "Is it kidding around if kids yell in your ear, or pat a female cyclists ass as the pass, or throw a bottle or a golf ball?" This is not accusing any specific person of anything.

All kids are not bad. However, excusing the behaviour mentioned at the start of this thread is counterproductive. There is NO EXCUSE for harassing cyclists on the road. Children in the 7th/8th grades are more than old enough to understand how to behave. The parent in question is being negligent by ignoring and/or encouraging such actions.

I, quite frankly, don't understand why anyone would defend people who endanger others through wilful malice. It could be you that someone gets their jollies from tormenting next time.

Bravewolf

Now I'm 46, and by golly, You STILL can't read a date. This thread was DEAD for almost a year 'til you DUG it up

You STILL can't read a date. This thread was DEAD for almost a year 'til you DUG it up

So sue me for being a newbie on the forum. Just because the thread is old doesn't mean it isn't relevant anymore.

You STILL can't read a date. This thread was DEAD for almost a year 'til you DUG it up


Hehe, Raiyn is the post freshness police.

*giggle* Ah, that's it. He thinks threads are like loaves of bread - they go stale and should be discarded. No worries - I'm sure I'll annoy him again, somewhere, sometime. ;)

*giggle* Ah, that's it. He thinks threads are like loaves of bread - they go stale and should be discarded. No worries - I'm sure I'll annoy him again, somewhere, sometime. ;)
The incident happened over a year ago everybody's moved on. Get over it.

The incident happened over a year ago everybody's moved on. Get over it.

Thank you very much, but I have nothing to "get over." I'm new here, and if I feel like I have something to say on an issue, I'm going to say it. You don't like it, then don't read it.

Sheesh.

http://img86.exs.cx/img86/3140/deadhorse1.gif