megaman
11-23-03, 07:12 PM
Did you hear that Michael Jackson was going to redo a Elton John hit?
It was going to be called "Oh let your son go down on me."
It was going to be called "Oh let your son go down on me."
Jokes & Humor - MJ Joke (adult humor)
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kewlrunningz
11-23-03, 07:20 PM
Ouch! :d
Resident
11-23-03, 07:45 PM
How can you tell when it's bedtime at MJ's home?
When the big hand is on the little hand... :eek:
Apologies if this is a repeat.
When the big hand is on the little hand... :eek:
Apologies if this is a repeat.
Falchoon
11-24-03, 06:48 PM
Q. Why did Michael Jackson rush over to Wal-Mart?
A. He heard that boys' pants were 1/2 off.
Q. What's the difference between a supermarket bag and Michael Jackson?
A. One is white, made of plastic, and should be kept away from small children. The other is used to hold groceries.
A. He heard that boys' pants were 1/2 off.
Q. What's the difference between a supermarket bag and Michael Jackson?
A. One is white, made of plastic, and should be kept away from small children. The other is used to hold groceries.
Falchoon
11-24-03, 07:33 PM
Michael Jackson's home has been raided by the police this morning.
They found Class A drugs in the lounge, Class B drugs in the kitchen and Class 2C in the bedroom
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael?
"Excuse me, but you're in my son"
Where's Michael going on holiday?
He's off to Tampa with the kids.
What does Jacko have in common with a Big Mac?
They're both old meat between young buns
What does Michael hand round after dinner?
The under-eights
What does Jackson have in common with whisky?
They both come in small tots
Good to see Jacko dangling his kid off the balcony. Usually he just tosses them off.
Jacko's wife has just given birth to a baby boy.
"How long before we start having sex?" asks Michael.
Doctor: "I'd wait until he's at least 14"
They found Class A drugs in the lounge, Class B drugs in the kitchen and Class 2C in the bedroom
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael?
"Excuse me, but you're in my son"
Where's Michael going on holiday?
He's off to Tampa with the kids.
What does Jacko have in common with a Big Mac?
They're both old meat between young buns
What does Michael hand round after dinner?
The under-eights
What does Jackson have in common with whisky?
They both come in small tots
Good to see Jacko dangling his kid off the balcony. Usually he just tosses them off.
Jacko's wife has just given birth to a baby boy.
"How long before we start having sex?" asks Michael.
Doctor: "I'd wait until he's at least 14"
Chris L
11-24-03, 08:06 PM
:cry: :cry:
Raiyn
11-24-03, 11:29 PM
Where's Michael going on holiday?
He's off to Tampa with the kids.
I didn't get this one sorry.
He's off to Tampa with the kids.
I didn't get this one sorry.
Erick L
11-24-03, 11:51 PM
http://anomalies-unlimited.com/Jackson.html
greywolf
11-25-03, 03:23 AM
I didn't get this one sorry.
Tampa :tamper : to interfere with.
Tampa :tamper : to interfere with.
Falchoon
11-26-03, 06:52 PM
Got a new stereo in the car today,
Say "soul" and it plays soul music,
Say "rock" and it plays rock music,
anyway I was driving along this morning and some kids ran out in front of me. As usual I responded with "F@#K you kids!!"
The stereo played Michael Jackson!
Say "soul" and it plays soul music,
Say "rock" and it plays rock music,
anyway I was driving along this morning and some kids ran out in front of me. As usual I responded with "F@#K you kids!!"
The stereo played Michael Jackson!
Falchoon
11-26-03, 06:53 PM
Why are Michael Jackson and McDonalds alike?
Old meat between fresh buns!
Old meat between fresh buns!
Falchoon
11-26-03, 06:56 PM
One M Jackson was out on a cruise with some industry types, just off Santa Barbara, when he lost his balance and fell overboard.
He surfaced, spluttering and splashing and shouting:
"Help......Help.....Throw me a Buoy.............
He surfaced, spluttering and splashing and shouting:
"Help......Help.....Throw me a Buoy.............
Falchoon
12-01-03, 07:11 PM
Q: Did you hear that Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding have decided to begin training racehorses together?
A: Yeah, she's gonna do all the handicapping and he's gonna ride all the three-year-olds!
Q: Why does Michael Jackson arrange for private shopping?
A: So his guests won't be accompanied by guardians!
Q:Why isn't all the controversy bothering Michael?
A:He doesn't mind reaching bottom.
Q:What's Michael's favorite Canadian TV show?
A:The Kids in the Hall.
Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"?
A: Two 5 year olds.
Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!
Did you hear about Michael Jackson's toaster?
The bread goes in brown, and comes out white.
What does Michael Jackson call a circumcision?
Foreplay.
Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalogue.
What does Michael Jackson reminisce about when he gets nostalgic?
Blowing his first nose.
Q: What's the difference between Richard Pryor and Michael Jackson?
A: Richard Pryor got burnt on coke, Michael Jackson got burnt on Pepsi!
Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Michael said to Debbie one night, "I fancy some entertainment, what shall we do?".
To which Debbie replied " I know we'll get a video".
Michael then said " Great, Ill get Aladdin".
Debbie said speedily "No Michael, You have been in trouble for that before"
What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years?
Michael Jackson.
Prince Michael Jackson, Jr. --- you know in a few years they'll probably change his name to:
The Child Formerly Known as Michael Jackson's Baby
Michael Jackson had a boy.
He also became a father!
What do Michael Jackson & Michael Jordan have in common?
They both play ball in the Minor League.
What's the difference between them?
One is in the Minors, the other is into Minors.
Why was Michael Jackson relieved of his Cub Scout Leader duties?
He was up to a pack a day.
What happens when Michael talks about sex?
It's all very tongue in cheek.
What does Michael have in common with NASA?
It's been 25 years since his first moon landing.
What do Michael's @ss and an LA jail have in common?
Both hold the juice.
What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A Michael Jackson slumber party.
The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make him a priest.
What do Michael Jackson and Willie Shoemaker have in common?
Both ride 4 year olds.
How do we know Michael Jackson is ready to release another album?
He has a lot of stuff in the can.
What will they call Michael's new TV series?
Anus and Andy.
I understand that Micheal decided to have a boy of his own because it's too expensive to rent them at $2 Million a pop.
Who will Michael record his next album with?
Les Brown.
What do Michael and Mrs. Perot have in common?
Both f**k little @ssholes.
Why does Michael travel with a huge road crew?
He always has a lot of sh*t to pack.
Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore?
He's tired of all the cracks.
Did you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson stamp?
Fans get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.
Why did Michael go to college?
To get his Bachelor of Ar$e degree.
Why's Michael trying out for the NBA?
He's a crack shooter.
Why's Michael opening a sperm bank?
He always has a sh*tload of semen.
Who's Michael Jackson's favorite poet?
Emily Dick in son.
What does Michael call an orgy?
A fruit salad.
What's the difference between Michael and a proctologist?
A proctologist doesn't pay for the @ssholes he's poked around in.
Why doesn't Michael have orgasms?
The big payoff comes a couple of months later.
Why has Michael been appearing on children's shows lately?
He has a lot to plug.
What's the worst stain to try to remove from a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's makeup.
Hear about the new "Michael Jackson" candy bar?
It's made from white chocolate, and contains no nuts.
Michael Jackson and Woody Allen on "Child Psychology":
"Spare the rod, and spoil the child."
What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?
Got two fives for a ten?
What is Michael Jackson's Alma Matter?
Bring-em Young.
Did you hear about the duet by Michael Jackson and Elton John?
It is titled "Don't let your son go down on me."
Why does Michael Jackson hide for a couple hours after one of his little friends leave?
It takes that long to get the bubble gum off his d*ck.
What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson?
Michael Jackson has had more noses.
What did Michael Jackson suffer from as a kid?
Clitoris envy.
Why did Michael invite MacCauly Caulkin to the house?
He's like the little boy he never had.
Why does Michael really need to go to rehab?
He's a crack addict.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite nursery rhyme?
"Little Boy Blew."
Did you know that Michael Jackson just turned 35?
Yeah, but he still feels like a 13 year old.
How did Michael get in trouble?
He was feeling a little Randy.
How is Michael dealing with his problems?
He's holding his own.
How are Michael's friends dealing with the problem?
They're all standing behind him.
How did Michael actually proposition the little boy?
It was just a slip of the tongue.
What's sex like for Michael?
Child's Play.
How is Michael now?
Feeling a little crotchety.
Hear about the new Michael Jackson doll?
It comes in a little can.
Why does Michael like children so much?
He knows how they feel.
How can you tell when Michael Jackson is giving a party?
By all the Big Wheels in his driveway.
Why does Michael own a theme park?
He's always been into children's ****.
What makes Michael Jackson so unique?
It's the little boy inside him.
How does Michael like to party?
He sips a couple of Tall Boys.
What's Michael's favorite snack?
Slim Jims.
What's Michael's favorite fast food?
Big Boys.
How do we know Michael is guilty?
Several children have fingered him.
Why is Michael so tough?
He can lick any kid on the block.
What's the new movie about Michael Jackson called?
"The Hand that Robs the Cradle."
How will Michael pay off his old boyfriends?
Liquefy some assets.
What's the difference between Nixon and Michael Jackson?
One was a consummate @sshole, the other a consummated @sshole.
Tuck the end of a jacket sleeve into your pants crotch. Hold the jacket off to the side. Then ask, "What's this?" "Dunno." "Michael Jackson helping a kid put his coat on."
What did Michael Jackson say after he was interrupted during sex?
"Sh*t happens!"
McDonald's is bringing out a new burger ..."Micheal Jackson Burger"... It has 35 yr old meat inside 5 yr old buns.
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HORSE RACING JOCKEY AND MICHAEL JACKSON.
A JOCKEY CAN MOUNT 3 YEAR OLDS LEGALLY.
WHAT DID MICHAEL JACKSON SAY WHEN HE GOT BACK TO NEVERLAND RANCH FROM DRUG REHAB?
YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE A NEW BOY!
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sayings?
1) There's a sucker born every minute.
2) Kids do the darndest things.
3) Tricks are for kids.
What's Michaels' next movie?
Honey I Blew the Kid.
What's Michaels' favorite group?
New Kids on the Cock.
What do Michael and Gaylord Perry have in common?
Both have held lots of wet balls in their hands.
What's sex like for Michael?
Like candy from a baby.
What psychological problem does Michael still suffer from?
Anal retention.
What do Michael and Catholic school nuns have in common?
Both are a pain in the ass to kids.
What's the difference between Michael and Connie Chung?
Michael's been able to have kids.
What's Michael's favorite dish?
Creamed shrimp.
Why's Michael cutting down on public appearances?
He wants to spend more time with the kids.
How are Michael's friends like U.S. veterans?
They all get f**ked in the end.
How will they ensure that Michael gets a thorough body search?
Hire a Catholic priest to do it.
What will they call the upcoming movie about Michael Jackson?
"The African Queen."
How do we know Michael Jackson isn't really a virgin?
He's got children out the @ss.
Michael Jackson and Pee Wee Herman are have come out with a new video called... "I'll beat it for you."
Why did Michael Jackson want to join the Branch Davidians?
So he could be black again.
How does Michael Jackson resemble the Cincinatti Reds?
They're both whiter than they should be.
A confused nine year old boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, God is both male and female."
This confuses the little boy so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
"Well, God is both black and white."
This further confuses the boy so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"
At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers none the less, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."
At this, the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Is God Michael Jackson?"
A: Yeah, she's gonna do all the handicapping and he's gonna ride all the three-year-olds!
Q: Why does Michael Jackson arrange for private shopping?
A: So his guests won't be accompanied by guardians!
Q:Why isn't all the controversy bothering Michael?
A:He doesn't mind reaching bottom.
Q:What's Michael's favorite Canadian TV show?
A:The Kids in the Hall.
Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"?
A: Two 5 year olds.
Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!
Did you hear about Michael Jackson's toaster?
The bread goes in brown, and comes out white.
What does Michael Jackson call a circumcision?
Foreplay.
Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalogue.
What does Michael Jackson reminisce about when he gets nostalgic?
Blowing his first nose.
Q: What's the difference between Richard Pryor and Michael Jackson?
A: Richard Pryor got burnt on coke, Michael Jackson got burnt on Pepsi!
Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Michael said to Debbie one night, "I fancy some entertainment, what shall we do?".
To which Debbie replied " I know we'll get a video".
Michael then said " Great, Ill get Aladdin".
Debbie said speedily "No Michael, You have been in trouble for that before"
What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years?
Michael Jackson.
Prince Michael Jackson, Jr. --- you know in a few years they'll probably change his name to:
The Child Formerly Known as Michael Jackson's Baby
Michael Jackson had a boy.
He also became a father!
What do Michael Jackson & Michael Jordan have in common?
They both play ball in the Minor League.
What's the difference between them?
One is in the Minors, the other is into Minors.
Why was Michael Jackson relieved of his Cub Scout Leader duties?
He was up to a pack a day.
What happens when Michael talks about sex?
It's all very tongue in cheek.
What does Michael have in common with NASA?
It's been 25 years since his first moon landing.
What do Michael's @ss and an LA jail have in common?
Both hold the juice.
What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A Michael Jackson slumber party.
The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make him a priest.
What do Michael Jackson and Willie Shoemaker have in common?
Both ride 4 year olds.
How do we know Michael Jackson is ready to release another album?
He has a lot of stuff in the can.
What will they call Michael's new TV series?
Anus and Andy.
I understand that Micheal decided to have a boy of his own because it's too expensive to rent them at $2 Million a pop.
Who will Michael record his next album with?
Les Brown.
What do Michael and Mrs. Perot have in common?
Both f**k little @ssholes.
Why does Michael travel with a huge road crew?
He always has a lot of sh*t to pack.
Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore?
He's tired of all the cracks.
Did you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson stamp?
Fans get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.
Why did Michael go to college?
To get his Bachelor of Ar$e degree.
Why's Michael trying out for the NBA?
He's a crack shooter.
Why's Michael opening a sperm bank?
He always has a sh*tload of semen.
Who's Michael Jackson's favorite poet?
Emily Dick in son.
What does Michael call an orgy?
A fruit salad.
What's the difference between Michael and a proctologist?
A proctologist doesn't pay for the @ssholes he's poked around in.
Why doesn't Michael have orgasms?
The big payoff comes a couple of months later.
Why has Michael been appearing on children's shows lately?
He has a lot to plug.
What's the worst stain to try to remove from a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's makeup.
Hear about the new "Michael Jackson" candy bar?
It's made from white chocolate, and contains no nuts.
Michael Jackson and Woody Allen on "Child Psychology":
"Spare the rod, and spoil the child."
What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?
Got two fives for a ten?
What is Michael Jackson's Alma Matter?
Bring-em Young.
Did you hear about the duet by Michael Jackson and Elton John?
It is titled "Don't let your son go down on me."
Why does Michael Jackson hide for a couple hours after one of his little friends leave?
It takes that long to get the bubble gum off his d*ck.
What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson?
Michael Jackson has had more noses.
What did Michael Jackson suffer from as a kid?
Clitoris envy.
Why did Michael invite MacCauly Caulkin to the house?
He's like the little boy he never had.
Why does Michael really need to go to rehab?
He's a crack addict.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite nursery rhyme?
"Little Boy Blew."
Did you know that Michael Jackson just turned 35?
Yeah, but he still feels like a 13 year old.
How did Michael get in trouble?
He was feeling a little Randy.
How is Michael dealing with his problems?
He's holding his own.
How are Michael's friends dealing with the problem?
They're all standing behind him.
How did Michael actually proposition the little boy?
It was just a slip of the tongue.
What's sex like for Michael?
Child's Play.
How is Michael now?
Feeling a little crotchety.
Hear about the new Michael Jackson doll?
It comes in a little can.
Why does Michael like children so much?
He knows how they feel.
How can you tell when Michael Jackson is giving a party?
By all the Big Wheels in his driveway.
Why does Michael own a theme park?
He's always been into children's ****.
What makes Michael Jackson so unique?
It's the little boy inside him.
How does Michael like to party?
He sips a couple of Tall Boys.
What's Michael's favorite snack?
Slim Jims.
What's Michael's favorite fast food?
Big Boys.
How do we know Michael is guilty?
Several children have fingered him.
Why is Michael so tough?
He can lick any kid on the block.
What's the new movie about Michael Jackson called?
"The Hand that Robs the Cradle."
How will Michael pay off his old boyfriends?
Liquefy some assets.
What's the difference between Nixon and Michael Jackson?
One was a consummate @sshole, the other a consummated @sshole.
Tuck the end of a jacket sleeve into your pants crotch. Hold the jacket off to the side. Then ask, "What's this?" "Dunno." "Michael Jackson helping a kid put his coat on."
What did Michael Jackson say after he was interrupted during sex?
"Sh*t happens!"
McDonald's is bringing out a new burger ..."Micheal Jackson Burger"... It has 35 yr old meat inside 5 yr old buns.
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HORSE RACING JOCKEY AND MICHAEL JACKSON.
A JOCKEY CAN MOUNT 3 YEAR OLDS LEGALLY.
WHAT DID MICHAEL JACKSON SAY WHEN HE GOT BACK TO NEVERLAND RANCH FROM DRUG REHAB?
YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE A NEW BOY!
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sayings?
1) There's a sucker born every minute.
2) Kids do the darndest things.
3) Tricks are for kids.
What's Michaels' next movie?
Honey I Blew the Kid.
What's Michaels' favorite group?
New Kids on the Cock.
What do Michael and Gaylord Perry have in common?
Both have held lots of wet balls in their hands.
What's sex like for Michael?
Like candy from a baby.
What psychological problem does Michael still suffer from?
Anal retention.
What do Michael and Catholic school nuns have in common?
Both are a pain in the ass to kids.
What's the difference between Michael and Connie Chung?
Michael's been able to have kids.
What's Michael's favorite dish?
Creamed shrimp.
Why's Michael cutting down on public appearances?
He wants to spend more time with the kids.
How are Michael's friends like U.S. veterans?
They all get f**ked in the end.
How will they ensure that Michael gets a thorough body search?
Hire a Catholic priest to do it.
What will they call the upcoming movie about Michael Jackson?
"The African Queen."
How do we know Michael Jackson isn't really a virgin?
He's got children out the @ss.
Michael Jackson and Pee Wee Herman are have come out with a new video called... "I'll beat it for you."
Why did Michael Jackson want to join the Branch Davidians?
So he could be black again.
How does Michael Jackson resemble the Cincinatti Reds?
They're both whiter than they should be.
A confused nine year old boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, God is both male and female."
This confuses the little boy so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
"Well, God is both black and white."
This further confuses the boy so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"
At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers none the less, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."
At this, the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Is God Michael Jackson?"
MsVicki
03-24-05, 01:00 PM
A joke at Michael's expense!
eubi
03-24-05, 01:15 PM
Tampa :tamper : to interfere with.
Hey Greywolf, I think Raiyne got you on that one!
Hey Greywolf, I think Raiyne got you on that one!
Applehead57
03-24-05, 02:04 PM
Michael Jackson creeps me out.
norton
03-24-05, 02:14 PM
Michael Jackson creeps me out.
If this is in jokes & humor.....why am I feeling slightly depressed.....
If this is in jokes & humor.....why am I feeling slightly depressed.....
Hopper
03-25-05, 08:47 PM
Q. Why does Michael Jackson like twenty seven year olds?
A. Because there are twenty of them.
A. Because there are twenty of them.