Bicycle Mechanics - How would you build your bike for the apocalypse?

If you knew that some imminent doom was about to befall earth and you were charged with the task of constructing a bicycle that would stand the test of time and a ruined earth, how would you build it? What kind of frame material would you use? What frame geometry, color, fork, wheels, ect. Would you stress carrying capacity, speed, durability, weight, or serviceability. You can only use materials and parts we have today, pre-apocalypse. We assume specialty tools are not close at hand and parts are nearly impossible to find.

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b266/maldekai/hiroshima.jpg

I'd build a mountain bike. No suspension, airless tires. Maybe do a Nexus hub vs. a der. I'd have a trailer hookup for it. Maybe a light generator.

Probably get an Xtracycle or Kona Ute since hauling capacity would be key. Think I'd prefer that to the trailer, although I could see the case that you can always undo the trailer and haul ass on your regular bike.

Though I have a sneaking suspicion that, in the total absence of cars, I'm not going to end up owning *fewer* bikes than I do now, let alone 1.

I suggest that you read Cormac McCarthy's The Road and then decide what type of bike would help you survive in that environment: the most realistic end-of-the-world book I've ever read.

^^

Great book!
Bit of a downer though...

The Surly Pugsley gets my vote. The option of switching wheels if there is a derailer problem is nice. Plus you can always use car tires on it if one of yours goes.

I'd nickname it "The Interceptor"

The bike to have post apocalypse will be a gas pipe Schwinn. Varsity, Collegiate, Cruiser, whatever.

You ride into the apocalypse with the bike you have, not the bike you wish you had.

That said, I'd want a urbanified mountain bike with friction shifters, patches, tubes, and some tools.

...The Surly Pugsley gets my vote. The option of switching wheels if there is a derailer problem is nice. Plus you can always use car tires on it if one of yours goes.

w3rd. :)

I would want it to have a milkshake machine and a solar panel on the rear rack. j

Some mtb, unsuspensed and prefferably with ultra robust tires. Spare parts would be available in ditches, along railroad tracks, etc.

Edit: +1 to milkshake machine. Milkshakes dominate all aspects of life.

Sturmey 3 speed with drum brakes and dynamo drum front hub. Full metal chaincase. Brooks saddle.

Full Carbon featherweight whatever. As long as we're all gonna die I could at least haul ass and have fun and go out in a blaze of catastrophically failing glory.

I already own it. It's my beater bike.

There's really nothing special about it but that's what I'd want in the scenerio that you propose. That way, if anything goes wrong, it would be relatively easy to find a replacement part or at least a part that will work.

I'd want a Thorn Rohloff eXp http://www.thorncycles.co.uk/rohloffexp.html, but I doubt my wife would let me spend that much on a bicycle even if the end of the world was imminent, so I'd probably just have to ride what I have.

I already have one. Surly Long Haul Trucker in sage green, Tubus racks, with 54 liter panniers. I don't use it for touring. It's always on standby. I'm keeping this bike around just for these kinds of emergencies.

I already have one. Surly Long Haul Trucker in sage green, Tubus racks, with 54 liter panniers. I don't use it for touring. It's always on standby. I'm keeping this bike around just for these kinds of emergencies.

How many of "these kinds" of emergencies are you expecting :beer:?

Could end of the world be any more vague? End of the world seems to literally translate to the earth no longer existing. I don't think any bike will help us navigate through that celestial debris field (except maybe the one I'm gonna start working on, :roflmao:)

So I guess this discussion is just about surface conditions not being optimal and uncertain supply of parts. Sounds like touring and mountain biking to me.

Don't forget the machine gun mount to fend off the anarchists and pirates.

:deadhorse:

AR-15 + 1911 = All the bikes you want.

AR-15 + 1911 = All the bikes you want.

People don't like to think in those terms, but if civilization truly failed this is the truest answer in the thread.

I already have one. Surly Long Haul Trucker in sage green, Tubus racks, with 54 liter panniers. I don't use it for touring. It's always on standby. I'm keeping this bike around just for these kinds of emergencies.

Do you have it mounted behind glass with a "break glass in case of emergency" sign below it? Is there some sort of siren involved? Do two people simultaneously have to turn their keys to release it?

Does it have panniers for the nuclear football?

I'm in the market for a new bike, and I need to know these things.

AR-15 + 1911 = All the bikes you want.

While a modern day 1911 with its case ejecting problem fixed I can understand.

However an AR-15? It cannot shoot through cover and kill and in an end of the world scenario how are you gonna maintain it. The only honest answer is an AK.

The new small-caliber AK. I forget what it's called. Or an HK-93. Unless you think you need to shoot through walls.

Or do like Omar. Body armor and a 12Ga pump.

Oh gosh. guns have hijacked this thread. Well, let's clear up the vagueness a bit! Uh...
The civilizations of earth were to stubborn to wean themselves of petroleum and the economies of the richest countries began to fail. Nukes went off...people died of some plague, few people left, the infrastructure left intact is crumbling, small pockets of people live in spread out clutches in fear of disease and bandits... yeah. that kind of fun stuff.

OR if we want to get creative, we can us a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE to justify our building of bomb proof bikes and loading them with high calibre, zombie-head busting weaponry. (we assume zombies of the Max Brooks variety for they are easy to outrun on a bike!)

so yeah. enjoy.
-Mal

btw-I would a a sturdy crowbar and either a 12Ga pump, or a large revolver that can be dropped in sand mud and zombie guts and still fire cleanly!

I would pay good money to watch someone try to fire a machine gun while riding a bike.
From behind bullet-proof glass, of course.

Why do we presume everyone's going to be shooting people come the apocalypse? Isn't it just as likely that when the cars don't cut it, everyone's going to go outside on their road-warrior utility bikes, see the other people on similarly outlandish cycles and crack a smile and go for long rides in the nuclear twilight?

I'd build a mountain bike. No suspension, airless tires. Maybe do a Nexus hub vs. a der. I'd have a trailer hookup for it. Maybe a light generator.

Ditto for most of this. Most important, stuff you can fix yourself.
Alloy STEEL non suspension MTB frame
Internal coaster brake rear hub (my choice - Sachs 3 speed Torpedo),
Airless tires by Nu-Teck
Spare parts and quality tools would be a GOOD idea

And mounting for an M-41A pulse rifle (i.e. Aliens) wouldn't hurt either - you never know what kinda creature you're gonna run into! Ha!

The road warrior 4.
http://geekadelphia.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/choad_warrior_4.jpg

Why do we presume everyone's going to be shooting people come the apocalypse? Isn't it just as likely that when the cars don't cut it, everyone's going to go outside on their road-warrior utility bikes, see the other people on similarly outlandish cycles and crack a smile and go for long rides in the nuclear twilight?

Thats what I am imagining. The sunsets will be breathtaking when there are millions of tons of radioactive particles suspended in the upper atmosphere!

Also, if you ever wanted to test the apocalyptic integrity of your apocto-bike, you could show up to one of these
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZVEWMDLrZmw

I really wouldn't have to change anything on my Raliegh 3 spd. Its already lasted over 30 years with all original components. Works on road and off road very well.

I've had it for almost 3 years and the original tires are nowhere near being worn out, so a stockpile of a couple of sets of tires and a couple of quarts of automatic transmission fluid to lube the chain, rear hub and BB should last me 10 years easily.

Non-supension mountain bike with a Rohloff hub and disc brakes. And a trailer.

OR I could just buy a classic English 3-speed, those are enough to handle anything.

My 1991 rigid Hard Rock is a great start. Friction shifter would be a plus though, since I'd be able to run any rear wheel/cassette/freewheel I came across.

Im thinking about a two recumbent trikes turned into a tandem with a trailer, setup for touring.
front and rear racks all loaded up, all steel construction, dynamo lights, e-bike hub with solar panels on both bikes. airless tires on the trailer, and the recumbents should be made with as close to standard mnt components as possible, with high ground clearance, the wheel base should be long but narrow.

the tandem setup would allow for longer distances to be covered or for one person to pull AK duty if need be

I think I'm good... :)

http://www.ravingbikefiend.com/bikepics/kuwiecommute5.jpg

Lugged quad butted steel frame, fixed gear, rigid, and built for expedition riding...all it needs is a hub generator.

beautiful bike. it would look nice covered in the grit and grime of a burned out city and loaded down with food, water and ammunition. what kind of panniers are those on the back?

Those are the ubiquitous MEC (Mountain Equipment Co-op) paniers... they are on their 3rd season and still look and work as good as new.

That, and they are guaranteed forever.

Do you have it mounted behind glass with a "break glass in case of emergency" sign below it? Is there some sort of siren involved? Do two people simultaneously have to turn their keys to release it?

Does it have panniers for the nuclear football?

I'm in the market for a new bike, and I need to know these things.

I also keep another similar bike at a strategic, undisclosed location. :p

I would put a clear seat on it with a mirror on the BB so I could say goodbye to my ass?

Recycle your car when you can no longer afford gas.

http://bp0.blogger.com/_D8VwTKAphks/RjQ61TChirI/AAAAAAAACI4/G5bpa3HMClc/s400/Carrying%2520car%2520frame%2520on%2520motorbike.jpg


And don't forget the camo.

http://bp2.blogger.com/_D8VwTKAphks/RjQ6tzChiqI/AAAAAAAACIw/BRDwAinwmew/s400/Brush%2520on%2520motorbike.jpg

:wtf:

26 in wheels, powder-coated lugged 953 stainless steel non-suspended frame, cartridge BB, cross crank with guard, 1.125 inch threadless headset, internal gearing--maybe SRAM, SA or Shimano-- stainless chain, heavy 36h rims and canti/linear rear rim brake, front generator with disc brake and canti/linear brake posts on the fork. Downtube shifter braze-ons, derailleur hanger (empty), lots of sturdy 6mm braze-ons for racks. Thornproof tires. Internal tube rustproofing. H-Bars. Pump. Switchable LED generator lights, front and rear. Sprung (Brooks) saddle. Headbadge.




Might be nice to have even before the apocalypse.

Ditto for most of this. Most important, stuff you can fix yourself.
Alloy STEEL non suspension MTB frame
Internal coaster brake rear hub (my choice - Sachs 3 speed Torpedo),
Airless tires by Nu-Teck
Spare parts and quality tools would be a GOOD idea

And mounting for an M-41A pulse rifle (i.e. Aliens) wouldn't hurt either - you never know what kinda creature you're gonna run into! Ha!

This thread has got me thinking. My current bike is OK - does the daily job with not much fuss. (2002 Schwinn Sierra, 7005 Al frame, mixed components, hybrid style). But I've been looking at building a replacement for it. I've been collecting the parts, without realizing I've been following the above guidelines unconsciously. Now, because of this thread, I've decided to build it like it's going to have to last me a lifetime - not a bad idea even during the good times!

I am building a bike called Biohazard, it's gonna be heavy dutie, the frame I picked for the base of it was a supercycle Hooligan, it's a big heavy dutie bike, the bike will have armor like plating on it, and a plow like thing on the front and a big trailer that helps assist the bike with a self charging battery system in it, i was basicly making this because the bike was fun to smash through old dressers in the garbage, having it like this is like a train on two wheels, it should look ownage.

This has been the most fun I have had reading,,,,but seriously, I need a spare chain and some ammo., then I'll be covered.

26 in wheels, powder-coated lugged 953 stainless steel non-suspended frame, cartridge BB, cross crank with guard, 1.125 inch threadless headset, internal gearing--maybe SRAM, SA or Shimano-- stainless chain, heavy 36h rims and canti/linear rear rim brake, front generator with disc brake and canti/linear brake posts on the fork. Downtube shifter braze-ons, derailleur hanger (empty), lots of sturdy 6mm braze-ons for racks. Thornproof tires. Internal tube rustproofing. H-Bars. Pump. Switchable LED generator lights, front and rear. Sprung (Brooks) saddle. Headbadge.




Might be nice to have even before the apocalypse.

hahaha! Thank you for the most comprehensive hypothetical build yet.

Don't you think that the leather on the brooks might be a problem? They do require a bit of maintenance to keep them together. I guess my uneducated opinion would lean me towards a synthetic saddle just for longevity. Keep in mind, the apocalypse will not be a comfy place :) (which might be all the more reason to splurge on a brooks to have at least one comfort in a decimated, mutant-populated world)

I guess my uneducated opinion would lean me towards a synthetic saddle just for longevity.

I bought a Brooks because of the longevity. I've gone through too many crappy saddles. The Brooks holds up. Just throw a plastic grocery bag on it when it rains.

Let's step back here a moment, take a breath, and look at this problem realistically.


(Digression: I'm fighting the urge here to make some inappropriate “Left Behind” cracks. Feel free though to contemplate a post-apocalyptic world with just us sinners trying desperately to keep bikes rolling using only our logic. Which kind of brings me to my point.)


A bike is no better a survivor of such a post technological world than an automobile. There is a reason. They are both the product of the logic of the industrial revolution; they are technical creatures. In short, you can happily pedal around the rubble, bullets, gamma rays, bomb craters, and zombies (and whatever other image inhabits that landscape) until your last inner tube dry-rots apart.


The only technical dependency a bike avoids that an automobile does not is the need for fossil fuel energy. A bike is a wonder but is still a creature of metallurgic, organic chemistry, precise manufacturing, and distribution technologies. Until those technical infrastructures are resurrected, cycling would end with the last inner tube which you may have to extract from the cold dead hands of the next-to-the-last cyclist.


I'm thinking the frame would make nice tomato stakes, just make sure you're saving seeds from your “heritage” varieties 'cause hybrids are also technological creatures.

In short, you can happily pedal around the rubble, bullets, gamma rays, bomb craters, and zombies (and whatever other image inhabits that landscape) until your last inner tube dry-rots apart.




I like the idea of a Road Warrior scenario, replacing gas with inner tubes (complete with that bondage/hockey mask villain).

Let's step back here a moment, take a breath, and look at this problem realistically.


(Digression: I'm fighting the urge here to make some inappropriate “Left Behind” cracks. Feel free though to contemplate a post-apocalyptic world with just us sinners trying desperately to keep bikes rolling using only our logic. Which kind of brings me to my point.)


A bike is no better a survivor of such a post technological world than an automobile. There is a reason. They are both the product of the logic of the industrial revolution; they are technical creatures. In short, you can happily pedal around the rubble, bullets, gamma rays, bomb craters, and zombies (and whatever other image inhabits that landscape) until your last inner tube dry-rots apart.


The only technical dependency a bike avoids that an automobile does not is the need for fossil fuel energy. A bike is a wonder but is still a creature of metallurgic, organic chemistry, precise manufacturing, and distribution technologies. Until those technical infrastructures are resurrected, cycling would end with the last inner tube which you may have to extract from the cold dead hands of the next-to-the-last cyclist.


I'm thinking the frame would make nice tomato stakes, just make sure you're saving seeds from your “heritage” varieties 'cause hybrids are also technological creatures.

All true, but as long as we're ordering at last call from the technological cyclist bar, might as well order something you like and that will get you down the road.

. . .ordering at last call from the technological cyclist bar, might as well order something you like and that will get you down the road.

Well 'Henry, I like you better already! Fair enough and thanks for bringing me back into reality. :thumb:

OK, here goes. Come the Pocky-Lips, I'm gonna' jump on my immaculately maintained TREK 930 and gather up the keys to all those Jaguar XJs left fallow when their Tru-Believin' owners are sucked out of their socks directly into Heaven. I'll also pop 'round to see if their sinful wives are in need of a little comfort while I'm at it. Maybe take along a little bubbly. Hey, like Revelation says, "This might be the End there Sparky, but that don't mean we all gotta' suffer!". At least that's my interpretation.

Hey barkeep! Next round on me!!!

Maintenance content? Start stockpiling a good chain lube, just in case.

I'm going for sustainably-grown bamboo frames that will take whatever parts I come across.

just get a mUni.....with Dugast latex tubulars, of course.