Sorry for a bummer post, but I just have to vent. I'm so sick of seeing people start a weight loss program, then give up and gain it all back claiming it's "too hard", or not claiming anything. I have a couple of friends and family who did really awesome a couple of years ago, but now they're all back to their previous weights - or more. I guess I just don't get it, why put out the effort - monetary and personal wise - if all you are going to do is give up and gain it all back again?

I see them all constantly doing the "diet of the week", they'll get serious about exercise or nutrition for some time. Then they'll blow it. You'll see them make blog posts about how awesome they are doing at the gym, how great they are eating, etc during the week. Then comes the weekend and they go out to eat, get drunk, and the next week make some post about how they're upset because they didn't lose any weight!

Then there's the ones that just give up and never mention it. You see them ballooning back up, but they ignore the fact that it's happening. They eat, drink, and do all the previous behaviors. And finally, those who just don't care. The don't cares don't phase me, it's the other two categories that are really the worse.

I guess compounding this is that some of them had some amazing success. I mean, at least three or four of them would have been "Biggest Loser" finalists due to their percentage of loss, but that's all gone away now. Now they're all back to the lifestyle that got them there.

Me, I've lost over 200 pounds and kept it off - I'm still at my lowest weight in 10 years and NEVER am going back. This is what compounds the problem, as at gatherings everyone always applauds my work because it's obvious - most say they enjoy seeing me because I'm always smaller. I occasionally get "the look" from the others, and never do I get any applause from them. Regularly I have to restrain myself from yelling "YOU AREN'T GETTING PRAISE BECAUSE YOU ARE A OBESE DRUNK WHO CAN'T STICK TO ANYTHING!" but I know the deeper problems. I also have given up on lecturing, I won't do it, I won't "talk to someone" for anyone anymore. I also won't help get them on the bike. THEY HAVE TO DO IT THEMSELVES. I've done it all myself, granted I've had support but only from one person. IN reality, though, I could do it myself and do it myself.

Anyway, that's my vent. I guess I'm just beyond frustrated at watching my friends and family kill themselves in front of my eyes.

Me, I've lost over 200 pounds and kept it off - I'm still at my lowest weight in 10 years and NEVER am going back. This is what compounds the problem, as at gatherings everyone always applauds my work because it's obvious - most say they enjoy seeing me because I'm always smaller.

Congratulations, that has taken a great deal of effort and hard work as well a great lifestyle change on your part.

The Lifestyle change is the part many do not understand. If small or normal through high school, then begin packing pounds in college or after marriage, that is a result of a lifestyle change, and to return to, or make a change after, you must make a new lifestyle change.

You are the result of the choices you make. There is no reversing of the clock.

If you want to get from point "A" to point "D", you must plot a course and follow it, visiting "B" maybe a option good or bad, it is your choice to pass through, the same with point "C". Knowing your own highs and lows, and working past them takes effort, not all are committed to complete the journey.

Keep the faith, it is your journey, and who knows, your example, may motivate one some day, some way, just one, is better than none. Keep focus and pedal through the next hill top, enjoying each moment.
All the best.

Ben, all I can say here is that they are responsible for making or not making sane choices in their lives, just like you are yours. To quote a platitude, "You can lead a horse to water......" Appropriate for Clyde's, I think ;)

What you cannot do is more than live your own life and make sure you are around for that wee little babe of yours later in life.

Weight loss diets do not work. Eating healthy foods, and exercise do. I know, my doctor just gave me the whole deal on my health, and it wasn't a pretty picture. She told me exactly the same, forget dieting, just eat right and exercise. Time to start logging more miles and stop drinking Dr. pepper.

My father taught me not to judge others. He would never offer advice (you should do this, or that) unless that advice was sought. He never judged anyone else for what they accomplished, or did not. He was a simple guy, what you saw, was what you got.

Unfortunately, he died of alcoholic cirrhosis when he was 69. Some people asked me "why didn't you try to change him?". My answer, he would have rejected any and all attempts from others "telling him what he should, or shouldn't, do". He was a smart man, he knew what he was doing (somewhat). I miss him dearly, however I know in my heart that there was nothing I could have done or said that would have ultimately changed the outcome.

He only quit smoking because it became prohibitively expensive on his fixed income.

Moral of the story, is: live and let live. Sometimes it is difficult. If someone asks you for help, help them in the best way you can. If they don't ask for your help, let them lay in the bed they make for themselves.

Don't stress out about your friends and their decisions. Many people fine that stress makes weight loss difficult, so stop letting your friends effect your weight loss success.

and tell them to stop drinking beer and start drinking straight vodka. Drunk faster and less calories :)

Sorry for a bummer post, but I just have to vent. I'm so sick of seeing people start a weight loss program, then give up and gain it all back claiming it's "too hard", or not claiming anything. I have a couple of friends and family who did really awesome a couple of years ago, but now they're all back to their previous weights - or more. I guess I just don't get it, why put out the effort - monetary and personal wise - if all you are going to do is give up and gain it all back again?

I see them all constantly doing the "diet of the week", they'll get serious about exercise or nutrition for some time. Then they'll blow it. You'll see them make blog posts about how awesome they are doing at the gym, how great they are eating, etc during the week. Then comes the weekend and they go out to eat, get drunk, and the next week make some post about how they're upset because they didn't lose any weight!

Then there's the ones that just give up and never mention it. You see them ballooning back up, but they ignore the fact that it's happening. They eat, drink, and do all the previous behaviors. And finally, those who just don't care. The don't cares don't phase me, it's the other two categories that are really the worse.

I guess compounding this is that some of them had some amazing success. I mean, at least three or four of them would have been "Biggest Loser" finalists due to their percentage of loss, but that's all gone away now. Now they're all back to the lifestyle that got them there.

Me, I've lost over 200 pounds and kept it off - I'm still at my lowest weight in 10 years and NEVER am going back. This is what compounds the problem, as at gatherings everyone always applauds my work because it's obvious - most say they enjoy seeing me because I'm always smaller. I occasionally get "the look" from the others, and never do I get any applause from them. Regularly I have to restrain myself from yelling "YOU AREN'T GETTING PRAISE BECAUSE YOU ARE A OBESE DRUNK WHO CAN'T STICK TO ANYTHING!" but I know the deeper problems. I also have given up on lecturing, I won't do it, I won't "talk to someone" for anyone anymore. I also won't help get them on the bike. THEY HAVE TO DO IT THEMSELVES. I've done it all myself, granted I've had support but only from one person. IN reality, though, I could do it myself and do it myself.

Anyway, that's my vent. I guess I'm just beyond frustrated at watching my friends and family kill themselves in front of my eyes.

I think the key in all this, is not so much that they give up, but they failed to make the necessary life style changes. Many people go at it with the idea they want to lose 20lbs, so they go on a diet, well that's the first mistake right there, often perpetrated by womens magazines. The goat cheese and watermelon diet, may work amazingly well, but eventually they realize their goal, now what. Well they go back to the way they ate before that caused them to gain the weight in the first place, so they gain it back, except they are now more acclimatised to it so they end up 20lbs heavier again, before they start the artichoke and banana diet, this continues ad nausium.

The person who gets off this roller-coaster, is the one who makes the lifestyle change, which is a permanent change in eating habits, and activity level. it's not easy to do, even harder when you have some members of the household who need to lose a lot, and are generally inactive and others who need to lose only a little (or none) and are much more active. Many very overweight people don't want to be active, they love the idea of spending all of their non-working time sleeping or watching the TV. The idea of a 3 mile walk or a 30 mile bike ride is about as appealing as surgery without anesthesia.... They like diets, because they are temporary, the idea of never eating certain foods or never being stuffed to the gills again, are also unappealing, so they stay on the roller-coaster until they die.

It isn't always the case, but sometimes there might be more to the picture than you can see.

I lost over 120 pounds, and have gained back about 75... I am in a place now, where I expect to start losing again.

It is not that I don't know how to lose weight, nor that I don't want to, but I do have other issues.

In my case, some of the people that think they are trying to help me are doing more harm than good... not that my weight gain is their fault, it is completely mine. But I am dealing with that with my psychologist, and will get to where I need to be, both physically and emotionally with a little time.

Many people know at some level what they need to do, and want to do it, and still won't do it.

There is very little for people like me that is more frustrating than to have someone tell me that since I understand the concepts of caloric intake versus usage, balanced diets, exercise, weight loss, health issues etc, that I should be thin... and I have no excuse. Well, there is the "Since you are fat, you can't know about proper diet..." and/or "Your opinion doesn't matter because you're fat" but that's another story...

When someone is in a deep enough depression to know with every fiber of their being that eating the ice cream is killing them, and yet they don't care, frankly the last thing on their mind should be what other people think, it should be on their health... but sometimes we do care what people think, especially about what certain people think... and it doesn't help, it just drives us deeper into depression.

You would probably think that the person you love more than life itself telling you that they won't be with you unless you lose weight would be motivation to lose weight... but if it drives one to depression, and you eat when depressed, it is self-defeating. I could continue this conversation into a downward spiral, but let's look at how even positive self talk sometimes fails for me.

Last year, I scheduled several charity rides as motivation to ride more, and lose weight, I rode a total of about 50 miles. I did the same scheduling this year, and have so far ridden a total of 50 miles. Better than last year so far, and I am committed to a 2,000 mile year, but only time will tell if I will really do what I am truly committed to doing.

Can I push myself to overcome physical issues? Yes I can. And I do... obviously not often enough. But, when emotional issues come up they are much harder for me to push through than the physical issues of weight, arthritis and asthma.

I do not share any of this as an excuse, and it may not represent anyone but me. But I want everyone to consider that the person you are looking at may be having issues other than simply weight loss...

Wow--I know I am brand-new here, but I am really shocked at how judgemental you are being. First of all, these are THEIR decisions and it affects THEIR lives and health--not yours. I understand that these are friends and relatives so you will say it does affect your life, but that is only if you ALLOW it to. All these people know what they need to do to lose weight, but they are trapped in a cycle and, for one reason or the other, have not found their way out of it yet. For myself, the only way out has been gastric bypass surgery. For others maybe it is treating underlying depression, severing damaging relationships, tackling addictions, etc. The bottom line is people who are overweight are overweight for more than one reason and teasing out why they are overweight can be very difficult. It is not your place to judge, lecture, "talk to" or criticize these people. Be supportive of their efforts when you can and stop judging them when you can't.

It's not so easy for people who are used to easily accessible food sources to control their habits.
I can see this with my own in-laws as well. Food is being eaten, no matter if you are hungry or not. If food is available on the stove or in the fridge it will be eaten.
It takes alot of self control, patience and confidence in your own abilities to shake those habits.

But the main part of gaining weight is the lack of exercise. Too hard, too lazy, too whatever.

And then I see the woman sitting one cube in front of me, always talking about dieting and loosing weight, but everyday she fills up her little basket with sweets (snickers, kitkat,candy, whatever). I came to believe she doesn't even realize it anymore what she's doing to herself. She clearly has a psychological issue with those sweets and she can't be helped unless she realizes herself what she's doing.

As Tom said, you can lead a horse to the water.....

First, congrats on your weight loss.

But just because you have seen the light, you probably shouldn't look down on others for not being on your schedule. Relapses happen, but who does it serve for you to get irritated about it? Also, couldn't someone criticize you for reaching that weight in the first place? Let everyone go own their own journey, right or wrong.

I get frustrated with people who feel the need to tell me (and others) how to live. whether it's weight, religion, or any other issue in my life....please just worry about yourself.

Wow--I know I am brand-new here, but I am really shocked at how judgemental you are being. First of all, these are THEIR decisions and it affects THEIR lives and health--not yours. I understand that these are friends and relatives so you will say it does affect your life, but that is only if you ALLOW it to. All these people know what they need to do to lose weight, but they are trapped in a cycle and, for one reason or the other, have not found their way out of it yet. For myself, the only way out has been gastric bypass surgery. For others maybe it is treating underlying depression, severing damaging relationships, tackling addictions, etc. The bottom line is people who are overweight are overweight for more than one reason and teasing out why they are overweight can be very difficult. It is not your place to judge, lecture, "talk to" or criticize these people. Be supportive of their efforts when you can and stop judging them when you can't.

Let me get this straight, if my wife is overweight and I know she can have a better life, and because I love her more than I love my own life, I am judging her by offering to help her lose weight for said reasons. That's just a bit skewed in it's essence.:(

Lilaccat, we aren't being judgemental. I also underwent bypass. It was a choice to use a tool, as it was your choice to do so. You also have the choice to address....or not, any other issues that affect how you deal with food.

That said, I will support anyones efforts, but cannot be a crutch to them. They have to want it for themselves, and that's the harsh reality of the situation. I can offer all the support in the world, and if they backslide, there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop them, short of removing their free will and that wouldn't work either.

Wow--I know I am brand-new here, but I am really shocked at how judgemental you are being. First of all, these are THEIR decisions and it affects THEIR lives and health--not yours. I understand that these are friends and relatives so you will say it does affect your life, but that is only if you ALLOW it to. All these people know what they need to do to lose weight, but they are trapped in a cycle and, for one reason or the other, have not found their way out of it yet. For myself, the only way out has been gastric bypass surgery. For others maybe it is treating underlying depression, severing damaging relationships, tackling addictions, etc. The bottom line is people who are overweight are overweight for more than one reason and teasing out why they are overweight can be very difficult. It is not your place to judge, lecture, "talk to" or criticize these people. Be supportive of their efforts when you can and stop judging them when you can't.

You have to find the tool that works for you. I would never judge a surgery solution as better or worse than another. All solutions have their own risks. My 61-year-old father had the lap band put on and he's down 80 lbs. He needs to lose more or I suspect we wont' see him much beyond 65. I'm going the lifestyle route for now: personal trainer 3x a week, weight watchers, bike riding. We'll see how it works out. Just because someone had a lapband or bypass doesnt' mean it's over, as many know. Tom had to make major lifestyle changes in short order to adjust to his new reality. All solutions are hard. If they weren't we'd all be thin and all be riding 14-spoke carbon fiber bikes and weight 140 lbs ;)

I understand that my post came off pretty... rough. Really, I hate to make it seem like I'm unsupportive, those who know me (outside of THAT circle) will tell you it's about the opposite of what I'm generally like. However things just basically got to me and I couldn't stand it anymore so I had to vent.

My major problem is twofold. First, I'm sick of the dirty looks, the comments, and everything else related that they give when my weight loss is mentioned. That's probably the biggest thing, that at family gatherings and friend gatherings I have to feel like it needs to be kept quiet because of what they'll think or do. I don't want them having hurt feelings, but at the same time I'm sick of the dirty looks and comments! "Oh whatever, you can't come drinking because you have a family and need to ride your stupid bike in the morning. Whatever dude!" or "Come on fattie, it's just one piece of cake!"

That ****, I swear, it grates on me. And THEY do it to ME. I've never said one bad thing about them, never. And I probably never will, but they've fallen so far into this that they continuously do it and feed each other.

Second, I guess the point was missed, they have already "done it" once before and nothing is stopping them again, yet they are just lazy. And I'm also sick of being asked to "talk to them" about it. I understand there might be deeper issues, but here there isn't. Simply put, it's laziness. They could do it, they just won't.

I have two people that I know would do it if they could, and therein is where my frustration lies. If those two had the ability the others do, they would do it in a heartbeat. But financial, social, and mental restraints are holding them back. Those two could fail at diets for every day for the next year, but if they asked to borrow my nicest bike I'd give it to them, in the hopes that it might help for even one day. I don't preach to them, ever, and I don't lead them anywhere. Nor do they impact me at all. I know one day they'll do it, but until then I can only offer support in quiet and non-judgemental ways.

Again, I know it came off callous and evil, it wasn't meant that way. I'm just trying to say that I'm frustrated and hate having to hide my own achievements because of the failures of a self-loathing group of able individuals.

Wow--I know I am brand-new here, but I am really shocked at how judgemental you are being. First of all, these are THEIR decisions and it affects THEIR lives and health--not yours. I understand that these are friends and relatives so you will say it does affect your life, but that is only if you ALLOW it to. All these people know what they need to do to lose weight, but they are trapped in a cycle and, for one reason or the other, have not found their way out of it yet. For myself, the only way out has been gastric bypass surgery. For others maybe it is treating underlying depression, severing damaging relationships, tackling addictions, etc. The bottom line is people who are overweight are overweight for more than one reason and teasing out why they are overweight can be very difficult. It is not your place to judge, lecture, "talk to" or criticize these people. Be supportive of their efforts when you can and stop judging them when you can't.

Please see my other general reply, but I also wanted to reply to you directly. I'd never criticize gastric bypass, I think that it's a great choice for many. Hell, I was within a day of going that route, had I failed at the other choice I had (to do a ultra-low calorie doctor-supervised diet) three years ago. In my mind you have to have a lot of cajones to allow yourself to go under the knife in general, but also for something like this.

And I know others have issues, but these don't. The whole problem I have is that I'm frustrated in seeing them lose what they worked so hard to gain, and I'm sick of them criticizing me for continued success. That's the problem.

Also.. keep it up! Tom, and a couple others in here, are living proof of how amazing transformations can happen with gastric bypass.

It sounds to me like a major part of your frustration is that you are being called on by some to be the ambassador for weight loss, and accused of others of taking a holier than thou attitude because you have made the choices of a healthy life style. You are between a rock and a hard place.

I can see the additional frustration in that. And of seeing people that you (in theory, except for the frustration) care about not taking care of themselves in ways you know they are capable of doing for themselves.

EDIT: I just reread your post... Where did I come up with the part about someone wantiong you to be an ambassador for weight loss???? Anyway, I still sense your frustration.

Lots of people that have weight problems also have major problems with emotional eating. They may not think that they do, but many people use food "to take the edge off" of emotional situations...to help them maintain a flat and even keel, so to speak. When people use food that way, it is almost purely a behavior issue. It would be simple if we were all rats in a cage, and all you had to do was put the right amount of food in the bowl every day, and not let the person eat until they spent x-amount of time on the treadmill.

Except in closed and often commune-like authoritarian situations, people don't work that way. To change a basic behavior such as eating, you have to go at it from many angles to have success. There are emotional reasons that they eat that way, so you have to figure out what emotions that they are trying to stifle or enhance (reward-happy-feeding), and give them different emotional coping skills that THEY CAN USE EVERY SINGLE DAY FOREVER, for the weight to stay off. Even if you figure that out, there are no guarantees that people will stick to it. For someone that was obese for many years, it takes constant vigilance. Forever. That can get really old, sometimes, and it is very easy to slowly slip back into habits that don't take as much effort.

I guess what I'm saying, is that for some people, constant high levels of blood sugar become very much like an addiction. And unlike drugs or alcohol, you have to eat every single day to stay alive. My dietician and doctor have both equated it with sex addiction, especially in the ways that they have to treat it and work with the people to get through it.

Lots of tools out there, and not all of them work for everybody. Some people need a religious-type experience, or a life-changing "moment of clarity" to be able to "stay there". Other people can just be vigilant and pay attention. Some people's metabolism and digestive system require something as drastic as surgery. Whatever works, works. When it does not...well...we can pray or have a good thought for them. They sure as hell don't like going through it either.

I know the place you are in because, well, I've been there. It's the worst place of all, and pretty damned hard to get out of. So you, sir, I respect greatly for trying.

I know it won't make any difference, maybe, but for me once I starting losing and being more active.. the depression went to the side. Today I call my bicycle my "two wheeled therapist", and it's completely true. My wife knows the signs, and many times she will outright tell me to go ride my bike. It's not because she wants to get rid of me, but because she knows if I do the gloominess will fade away. Since I've lost weight, and since I've started cycling a little side benefit has happened - I've not needed a therapist as my previous issues (depression and a hot temper) have all but disappeared.

So there is light at the end of the tunnel, but it's a tough one. Keep trying, and if there's anything I can do to help, let me know. I'll break my "I don't want to help anymore!" thing this once :).

It isn't always the case, but sometimes there might be more to the picture than you can see.

I lost over 120 pounds, and have gained back about 75... I am in a place now, where I expect to start losing again.

It is not that I don't know how to lose weight, nor that I don't want to, but I do have other issues.

In my case, some of the people that think they are trying to help me are doing more harm than good... not that my weight gain is their fault, it is completely mine. But I am dealing with that with my psychologist, and will get to where I need to be, both physically and emotionally with a little time.

Many people know at some level what they need to do, and want to do it, and still won't do it.

There is very little for people like me that is more frustrating than to have someone tell me that since I understand the concepts of caloric intake versus usage, balanced diets, exercise, weight loss, health issues etc, that I should be thin... and I have no excuse. Well, there is the "Since you are fat, you can't know about proper diet..." and/or "Your opinion doesn't matter because you're fat" but that's another story...

When someone is in a deep enough depression to know with every fiber of their being that eating the ice cream is killing them, and yet they don't care, frankly the last thing on their mind should be what other people think, it should be on their health... but sometimes we do care what people think, especially about what certain people think... and it doesn't help, it just drives us deeper into depression.

You would probably think that the person you love more than life itself telling you that they won't be with you unless you lose weight would be motivation to lose weight... but if it drives one to depression, and you eat when depressed, it is self-defeating. I could continue this conversation into a downward spiral, but let's look at how even positive self talk sometimes fails for me.

Last year, I scheduled several charity rides as motivation to ride more, and lose weight, I rode a total of about 50 miles. I did the same scheduling this year, and have so far ridden a total of 50 miles. Better than last year so far, and I am committed to a 2,000 mile year, but only time will tell if I will really do what I am truly committed to doing.

Can I push myself to overcome physical issues? Yes I can. And I do... obviously not often enough. But, when emotional issues come up they are much harder for me to push through than the physical issues of weight, arthritis and asthma.

I do not share any of this as an excuse, and it may not represent anyone but me. But I want everyone to consider that the person you are looking at may be having issues other than simply weight loss...

It sounds to me like a major part of your frustration is that you are being called on by some to be the ambassador for weight loss, and accused of others of taking a holier than thou attitude because you have made the choices of a healthy life style. You are between a rock and a hard place.

I can see the additional frustration in that. And of seeing people that you (in theory, except for the frustration) care about not taking care of themselves in ways you know they are capable of doing for themselves.

EDIT: I just reread your post... Where did I come up with the part about someone wantiong you to be an ambassador for weight loss???? Anyway, I still sense your frustration.

Yes! You hit it on the head! And you hit the other thing - the ambassador for weight loss - which is the thing I hinted towards. The constant "will you talk to him for me?" questions, which drive me crazy. The "how did you do it" I don't mind at all, ironically, because that I feel is jsut part of it. But the whole having to attempt to be the Mr Weight Loss USA ambassador to those who don't want/refuse/refute help I can't stand.

Anyway, that basically hits it on the head.

bdinger: thanks for clarifying your opinions, that does sound bad :(. Again, congrats on what you've achieved, and don't let anyone get you down for it.

Sorry for a bummer post, but I just have to vent. I'm so sick of seeing people start a weight loss program, then give up and gain it all back claiming it's "too hard", or not claiming anything. I have a couple of friends and family who did really awesome a couple of years ago, but now they're all back to their previous weights - or more. I guess I just don't get it, why put out the effort - monetary and personal wise - if all you are going to do is give up and gain it all back again?

I see them all constantly doing the "diet of the week", they'll get serious about exercise or nutrition for some time. Then they'll blow it. You'll see them make blog posts about how awesome they are doing at the gym, how great they are eating, etc during the week. Then comes the weekend and they go out to eat, get drunk, and the next week make some post about how they're upset because they didn't lose any weight!

Then there's the ones that just give up and never mention it. You see them ballooning back up, but they ignore the fact that it's happening. They eat, drink, and do all the previous behaviors. And finally, those who just don't care. The don't cares don't phase me, it's the other two categories that are really the worse.

I guess compounding this is that some of them had some amazing success. I mean, at least three or four of them would have been "Biggest Loser" finalists due to their percentage of loss, but that's all gone away now. Now they're all back to the lifestyle that got them there.

Me, I've lost over 200 pounds and kept it off - I'm still at my lowest weight in 10 years and NEVER am going back. This is what compounds the problem, as at gatherings everyone always applauds my work because it's obvious - most say they enjoy seeing me because I'm always smaller. I occasionally get "the look" from the others, and never do I get any applause from them. Regularly I have to restrain myself from yelling "YOU AREN'T GETTING PRAISE BECAUSE YOU ARE A OBESE DRUNK WHO CAN'T STICK TO ANYTHING!" but I know the deeper problems. I also have given up on lecturing, I won't do it, I won't "talk to someone" for anyone anymore. I also won't help get them on the bike. THEY HAVE TO DO IT THEMSELVES. I've done it all myself, granted I've had support but only from one person. IN reality, though, I could do it myself and do it myself.

Anyway, that's my vent. I guess I'm just beyond frustrated at watching my friends and family kill themselves in front of my eyes.

Preach on brother!

People backtrack for several reasons.

a) They make a little progress and then "reward" themselves for it.

b) They have so many people around them that hold their hand and tell them that it's ok to be the way they are, when in reality it's not. Ask their doctor or their lover.

c) Anything that is worthwhile is hard, and weak people avoid hard work.

"You can lead a horse to water......" Appropriate for Clyde's, I think ;)




Actually you can force water into a horse. Be more creative.

Allow me my metaphors. ;)

It's about free will rather than the mechanical process of getting H2O inserted into a horse. :p
Actually you can force water into a horse. Be more creative.

Allow me my metaphors. ;)

It's about free will rather than the mechanical process of getting H2O inserted into a horse. :p

Well it's doesn't even need to be mechanical, just use some mental or biochemical trickery. It's fine if the horse thinks it's drinking on it's own accord.

http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumb_4/1097814515ktFa2r.jpg

Bad tasting, but good medicine.

I lost over 120 pounds, and have gained back about 75... I am in a place now, where I expect to start losing again.

It is not that I don't know how to lose weight, nor that I don't want to, but I do have other issues.

Think back to what caused the original turning point. Something happened, good or bad, that made you decide enough was enough. When you lose the weight retain that gem as it is a source of unending power.

http://www.worldofstock.com/slides/MES1565.jpg

I know how you feel. I've never been fat, but I have to watch what I eat and keep my body moving or I'll gain weight. I only needed to loose about 15 Lbs and about 1/3 of the way there.

Where my frustration comes from is with my wife. I love her honest, but at times I could just scream at the defeatist atitude I get from her. "Oh it comes so easy for you" is one of the manny little jabs she thows at me. I made a commitment about 13 months ago to myself that I have to get healthier and be a good role model to our 7 year old daughter. I want to be able to go on a 30 mile ride with her, even if whe is riding the co-pilot for now and only rides solo close to home. I don't care. The time we all spend outside enjoying nature is an amazing stress reliever.

Back to my wife...she was never skinny, and I didn't care one bit. After child birth she packed on quite a few lbs. She appeared to be fine until about 9 months out, and then major post partum depression set in. There are demons in her past she is learning to deal with and slowly she is improving. I have been trying to be very supportive now for about 6 years, but it can be very hard. As her weight went up her general motivation went down. It becomes a VERY bad negative feedback loop. What bothers me most is how often we can's do something physical as a family or else she will not be able to keep up. I don't want to exclude her and hurt her feelings, because that will not be helpful. I am not talkign about running a marathon, but a few vacations have been cut short because some simple physical activity caused her to have an asthma attach. I swear there have been a few times where I feel she has pushed her self on-purpose... for what reason I can not tell.

As various posters pointed out you can only lead a horse to water. She knows she should eat better. She know she needs activity. She tells me all the time how she wants to go riding and do more activities I would LOVE to see her go riding more often. I just know that if she got out in the sunshine every day for 30 minutes and rode nice and easy, she would feel so much better. Every arguement she makes I have tried to address. Comfy saddle, proper adjustment, nice weather (I can't control that, but this Spring has been very nice), etc. She just won't get out there even on a nice day and just will riding on her own. Time is not a limiting factor, but motivation is. For three years I kept her membership at the gym. Every year she was the one to tell me that we HAD to renew because she was going to use it. Every year she would go a few times and then stop coming. It is very sad to know that I can't do much more other than to be supportive everytime she makes smart choices. It is very hard to see someone you are so much about constantly make poor choices when the good ones are not hard to make. The good news is that the cheap tandem I bought is working. I've gotten us all out for some nice 10 mile rides taking it very easy and making a fun stop around the mid way point. I know some of the rides were to the local icecream joint, but at least I get her out moving and enjoying the outside. My dauther finds it a blast being hooked up to our tandem with her Co-Pilot. Things are SLOWLY moving in the right direction, but as I stated, it is very hard to watch someone stuggle so much and be ready with so many excuses why they can't do something.

I have never been depressed so I truly can not understand what is happening in her head. I decided last year that I don't care what she says about my personal progress I am not going to stop and wait for her to catch up anymore. I still continue to be as supportive as I can. I try as best as I can to ignore the little jabs she throws at me any time she temporarily falls off the bandwagon and feels the need to stike out. When she is serious about wanting to live a long and healthy life, it will be her choice. I hope she wants to go that route, because the alternative it not pretty.

Happy riding,
André

First, congrats on your weight loss.

But just because you have seen the light, you probably shouldn't look down on others for not being on your schedule. Relapses happen, but who does it serve for you to get irritated about it? Also, couldn't someone criticize you for reaching that weight in the first place? Let everyone go own their own journey, right or wrong.

I get frustrated with people who feel the need to tell me (and others) how to live. whether it's weight, religion, or any other issue in my life....please just worry about yourself.

Have you ever given thought to the idea that the people you so strongly become frustrated with actually care for you, or love you, and do not intend to "tell you how to live?" No one "tells someone how to live" these days, and we both know it. Your response is just a self effacing way of relieving guilt you may feel because those who care are most certainly right. Advice doesn't come free too often, and when it does, most of us are not ready for it's truthfulness.:(

Merry Christmas Bob...

I"m going to through in my 2cents.

I've thought about and struggled with my weight/health for a very long time now. The hardest thing for me(and many others, from what I have read about it) is that loosing weight and becoming healthy isn't a week long journey. It is not a month or a year long journey. Its a journey that you have to fight at for the rest of your life. Think about that for a moment...

That thought is so daunting to me that it frightens me to the bone. Its taken me well over a year to come to terms with the fact I will, forever; have to count the calories of what I eat, ride/weight lift every single day, and eat way more salad that I currently would like to eat. I don't believe there are a lot of people that are willing to make that choice, and it is a choice!

And to the dirty looks you may be getting, I would almost certainly chock that up to jealousy & envy. That is unless you are running around yelling..."OH YA! LOOK HOW THIN AND SEXY I AM BABY!!!"

Yep, it seems so easy to people that have never had a serious problem with their weight, and yet...the recitivism rate for obesity is higher than it is for quitting cigarettes, heroin, meth, or cocain. Those are the cold, hard facts. And you have to go more out of your way to obtain illicit drugs, than you do to eat a few extra portions of carb and fat rich foods every day.

Moral of the story, is: live and let live. Sometimes it is difficult. If someone asks you for help, help them in the best way you can. If they don't ask for your help, let them lay in the bed they make for themselves.

I respectfully disagree. While everyone's circumstances are different, if there is a solution, persistence is a good tool in affecting that change.

My father passed in 2002 from symptoms related to a 17 year bout with Parkinson's Disease. His only choice in *living* was medication. His passing taught me what in my life I could control. Some do it easier than others. My sister is grappling with a severe weight problem and is making slow progress in losing her weight. She also has Myotonic Muscular Dystrophy. That she cannot control. What she can control is consumption of chips and soda, two of many foodstuffs that, when excised from one's diet, perpetuate weight loss.

It frustrates me, much like the OP, to see people who have obvious changes that are easy to implement right in front of them, but choose not to do so. I myself had high BP, cholesterol over 300 and the doc wanted to medicate me. That was all I needed to hear in order to cut out dairy (cheese, eggs, whole milk) and eat more fish and rice for a year. I also quit drinking and smoking - cold turkey. I went from 240 to 195, my BP regulated and my cholesterol is now at 200 - without meds. All this while riding the bicycle as often as possible. Combination of diet, exercise and lifestyle.

I understand my sister cannot be as active as I am able to be, but diet is well within one's control. I encourage her often in a direction that leads to a healthier 'her' in the autumn of her life.

Well, I'm new here and I have read through this post several times thinking hard about whether or not to reply. Mostly because I didn't know if I should give my history because almost anything I can say is an excuse. I realize this is the case, but at the same token it might help me to verbalize it, and, in the process of doing so, help me identify how to change things. So, I decided to reply with some of my own experiences and they can be construed as excuses if anyone wishes to view them that way. I know I do sometimes.

I've struggled with weight almost as long as I can remember despite being a very active child. I rode my bike every day from spring through the first snow, and was either at the pool everyday (I was on the swim team), or I was camping, fishing, hiking, or swimming at a lake with my Dad. I did have some poor eating habits (mostly to much of the wrong things), and though my Mom was a stay-at-home type she mostly made my sister and I cook dinner while she slept, or read books and smoked cigarretts. Fast forward to teenage years and the not so unique story of parents divorce, lack of money, etc. etc, and troubled teen to boot, and I became very depressed and angry. This came to a peak of problems when I was about 19. I had just started a new job as a dispatcher (sit down jobs are death to your health by the way), and my Mom's health was deteriorating rapidly. She was trying to get on disability, and in the meantime expected me to hand over 90% of my paychecks from my $5.50hr job to help her. I ended up moving out into my own apartment, and I spent the next 2 years or so working 60-80hrs a week at a sit down desk job to pay for my $300.00/month apartment. I then went back to community college at 21, and went to school full time, and contiued to work maybe 40-50hrs a week at the same time. This continued for about 3 years when I became to exhausted to continue the gruelling schedule any longer.

So, basically time was an issue. When could I find the time to excercise? When could I find the time (or money at this point) to eat a decent meal?

I decided at this point to take a year or so off from school and I also decided I wanted to re-locate from Washington state to the east coast and work with kids. So, I got a job as a nanny. I worked for the same family for about 3.5yrs and during this time I did learn to eat better as I had to cook healthy meals for the boys, and I started excercising more. I would ride bikes with the youngest boy, and sometimes play tennis with them and their friends.

Towards the end of the time I worked with them I was at the lowest weight I have been in my adult life (about 225lbs), and I met my husband. I got pregnant, and, of course, gained back all the weight I had lost. After my daughter was born I stayed home with her for about the first 1.5 year of her life mostly because I could not get a job that would even cover daycare with my current training. The first several months, in retrospect, I think I had some post-partem depression, and I was caring for her almost soley on my own as my husband was busy working to support us. When she was about 9-10 months old I got a memebership to a gym and started working out nearly everyday for about 2 hours and watching what I ate. I got down to about 228lbs.

Then I went back to school. So, now we live really far away from almost everything because it's the best area we can afford to live in for our daughter, but it means my commute for the last 3years or so has averaged 3hours a day. So, my day starts at around 5am usually and I go and push myself mentally all day long, come home make dinner (again back to whatever is fast and easy because I'm exhausted), bath my daughter, get her ready for bed, and now it's about 7pm and I am ready to pass out. But, I have to study, so I'm up until 9-10 doing that, or cleaning the house or whatever. Then pass out and wake up and repeat.

So, my challenges have been lack of money, time, and, frankly, mental/physical energy to shove anything else into my day. However, this is all an excuse. I comfort myself that's it's at least a slightly good one, but it is none-the-less and excuse. In another 6 days I will have finished my first year of nursing school, and then I will be staying home with my daughter for the summer. She got a bike for her birthday, I got one for Mother's day, and my husband just picked one up for himself last night. So, hopefully this summer I can spend some time with my daughter riding, and if we can get a babysitter (yet another challenge) my husband and I can ride together.

So, that's my list of excuses. I know my trouble areas, as stated above, and have been frozen with what to do about them. However, I know I need to find the time for my health/sanity both for myself, and for my daughter.

I shall take a deep breath and push on, and on, and on......

Tamara

It sounds to me like a major part of your frustration is that you are being called on by some to be the ambassador for weight loss, and accused of others of taking a holier than thou attitude because you have made the choices of a healthy life style. You are between a rock and a hard place.

I can see the additional frustration in that. And of seeing people that you (in theory, except for the frustration) care about not taking care of themselves in ways you know they are capable of doing for themselves.

EDIT: I just reread your post... Where did I come up with the part about someone wanting you to be an ambassador for weight loss???? Anyway, I still sense your frustration.

Ambassadorship is sometimes thrust upon us, and at times it's a mantle we assume on our own. I've written a number of times of my distaste for the word "inspiration," but that's largely because I felt obliged to see those folks who took inspiration from me to succeed. It sounds like Ben is feeling that way too.

Also, it's tiring to see your accomplishment made the centerpiece of conversations time and again. I'm actually slightly pleased to have stopped losing and had a small weight gain, only because people stop talking about the 140 pounds and start accepting me as an ordinary guy. Again, perhaps Ben in Nebraska is dealing with the same problem.

BTW, I'm up 20-25 pounds from last year, so perhaps I'm one of the guys Ben is criticizing. :p

Last year, I scheduled several charity rides as motivation to ride more, and lose weight, I rode a total of about 50 miles. I did the same scheduling this year, and have so far ridden a total of 50 miles. Better than last year so far, and I am committed to a 2,000 mile year, but only time will tell if I will really do what I am truly committed to doing.


I'm gonna have to start nagging again, aren't I? :)

Yes! You hit it on the head! And you hit the other thing - the ambassador for weight loss - which is the thing I hinted towards. The constant "will you talk to him for me?" questions, which drive me crazy. The "how did you do it" I don't mind at all, ironically, because that I feel is jsut part of it. But the whole having to attempt to be the Mr Weight Loss USA ambassador to those who don't want/refuse/refute help I can't stand.

Anyway, that basically hits it on the head.

I just tell people, "eat less and better, and exercise." When they question it, I repeat it. It drives them away soon enough. :) Some truths people don't want to hear.

I just tell people, "eat less and better, and exercise." When they question it, I repeat it. It drives them away soon enough. :) Some truths people don't want to hear.

Exactly, people are always asking me what is the "secret" or "magic" behind my weight loss. I tell them plain an simple it's eating better and exercising. Nobody every says "wow, I've never heard that before". The truth is a hard pill to swallow.

Exactly, people are always asking me what is the "secret" or "magic" behind my weight loss. I tell them plain an simple it's eating better and exercising. Nobody every says "wow, I've never heard that before". The truth is a hard pill to swallow.

Speaking of which, back when I was 385 or more, I said to someone "I wish they would discover a pill that cured obesity." Three years later, I think I discovered it myself.

Tamara,
Thank you for sharing your story, and in your case, those are not excuses but reasons. The folks that I refer to, well, they have absolutely no reason not to be able to lose weight. They all have enough money for both the fad diet of the week, and the cursory membership to the gym of the month. They all also have the time to fit in exercise, they just chose not to. Finally, they all have the ability as they have proven in the past that they can lose weight, and big amounts of it. They just make excuses, and it gets a little hard to deal with.

In your case, I can understand many of the things you said. You have done very well, and I really encourage you to continue. You sound like you have the right mindset, but I can't imagine the time that is involved with doing what you do. For now, just focus on your family and your school, weight loss can come as slow as needed, or later. Do what you can, when you can, this is a great group for support if you need it(contrary to my ranty post! :)). Just keep pushing, never give up, but don't burn yourself out doing it. Family, and school to help your family come first, then find the time for anything else. A wise woman taught me that :).


Well, I'm new here and I have read through this post several times thinking hard about whether or not to reply. Mostly because I didn't know if I should give my history because almost anything I can say is an excuse. I realize this is the case, but at the same token it might help me to verbalize it, and, in the process of doing so, help me identify how to change things. So, I decided to reply with some of my own experiences and they can be construed as excuses if anyone wishes to view them that way. I know I do sometimes.

I've struggled with weight almost as long as I can remember despite being a very active child. I rode my bike every day from spring through the first snow, and was either at the pool everyday (I was on the swim team), or I was camping, fishing, hiking, or swimming at a lake with my Dad. I did have some poor eating habits (mostly to much of the wrong things), and though my Mom was a stay-at-home type she mostly made my sister and I cook dinner while she slept, or read books and smoked cigarretts. Fast forward to teenage years and the not so unique story of parents divorce, lack of money, etc. etc, and troubled teen to boot, and I became very depressed and angry. This came to a peak of problems when I was about 19. I had just started a new job as a dispatcher (sit down jobs are death to your health by the way), and my Mom's health was deteriorating rapidly. She was trying to get on disability, and in the meantime expected me to hand over 90% of my paychecks from my $5.50hr job to help her. I ended up moving out into my own apartment, and I spent the next 2 years or so working 60-80hrs a week at a sit down desk job to pay for my $300.00/month apartment. I then went back to community college at 21, and went to school full time, and contiued to work maybe 40-50hrs a week at the same time. This continued for about 3 years when I became to exhausted to continue the gruelling schedule any longer.

So, basically time was an issue. When could I find the time to excercise? When could I find the time (or money at this point) to eat a decent meal?

I decided at this point to take a year or so off from school and I also decided I wanted to re-locate from Washington state to the east coast and work with kids. So, I got a job as a nanny. I worked for the same family for about 3.5yrs and during this time I did learn to eat better as I had to cook healthy meals for the boys, and I started excercising more. I would ride bikes with the youngest boy, and sometimes play tennis with them and their friends.

Towards the end of the time I worked with them I was at the lowest weight I have been in my adult life (about 225lbs), and I met my husband. I got pregnant, and, of course, gained back all the weight I had lost. After my daughter was born I stayed home with her for about the first 1.5 year of her life mostly because I could not get a job that would even cover daycare with my current training. The first several months, in retrospect, I think I had some post-partem depression, and I was caring for her almost soley on my own as my husband was busy working to support us. When she was about 9-10 months old I got a memebership to a gym and started working out nearly everyday for about 2 hours and watching what I ate. I got down to about 228lbs.

Then I went back to school. So, now we live really far away from almost everything because it's the best area we can afford to live in for our daughter, but it means my commute for the last 3years or so has averaged 3hours a day. So, my day starts at around 5am usually and I go and push myself mentally all day long, come home make dinner (again back to whatever is fast and easy because I'm exhausted), bath my daughter, get her ready for bed, and now it's about 7pm and I am ready to pass out. But, I have to study, so I'm up until 9-10 doing that, or cleaning the house or whatever. Then pass out and wake up and repeat.

So, my challenges have been lack of money, time, and, frankly, mental/physical energy to shove anything else into my day. However, this is all an excuse. I comfort myself that's it's at least a slightly good one, but it is none-the-less and excuse. In another 6 days I will have finished my first year of nursing school, and then I will be staying home with my daughter for the summer. She got a bike for her birthday, I got one for Mother's day, and my husband just picked one up for himself last night. So, hopefully this summer I can spend some time with my daughter riding, and if we can get a babysitter (yet another challenge) my husband and I can ride together.

So, that's my list of excuses. I know my trouble areas, as stated above, and have been frozen with what to do about them. However, I know I need to find the time for my health/sanity both for myself, and for my daughter.

I shall take a deep breath and push on, and on, and on......

Tamara

I just tell people, "eat less and better, and exercise." When they question it, I repeat it. It drives them away soon enough. :) Some truths people don't want to hear.

I do similar, mainly out of honesty. I tell them I only eat something that I cook and bike 20-30 miles a day. While some don't want to hear it, I've actually had 2 or 3 who have listened. One is doing quite well with a mix of a exercise bike at home, and making her lunch at work. Some days I REALLY have to remind myself of this, but if I can affect one person positively then it's all worthwhile. I am human, so I am entitled to forget this and be a snarky old turd, mind you. :)

I just tell people, "eat less and better, and exercise." When they question it, I repeat it. It drives them away soon enough. :) Some truths people don't want to hear.

That's what I tell people too, but I also throw something in there about how you have to have multiple motivators for it to work long-term. My motivations include my health, I love bicycling, not having to face the other physical and social limitations that comes with weighing amost 400 lbs (physical activities, fitting into chairs/airplane seats, "fat" not being the only thing that people notice about you at first, etc.).

The only way that I've been able to maintain the direction of a real "life change", though, was through a complete change in perspective in how I live in the world and interact with it. I'm a little bit of a perfectionist, by nature, and in the past, if I had a few setbacks, I would throw my hands up and give up. Not because I was lazy, but because I felt like it was useless to try. I used to get stuck in what I did in the past, and feeling worthless and weak (yep, from Animal House), instead of paying attention to what I'm doing right now to change things. I had to convince myself that what I'm doing right now, is more important than what I did in the past, because right now controls the future.

One other piece of advice that I give them, is that they need to find a couple of physical activities that they REALLY like to do, and they should train for them. One of them should be aerobic, but the other can be just about anything from skydiving to playing table tennis. Being active in general is a fantastic motivator, and there is no easier way to stay active than to participate in something that you really like to do. It is a lot easier for me to skip an hour on the treadmill, than it is for me to skip a pretty ride on my bike outside.

Given what I weighed a decade ago I'm a happy camper.(223 vs 267)
I openly admit I have a eating problem..I love to!
It's not eating junk food,(it's been 5 years sence I've had a McDs anything and chips don't exist in my world) it's eating.
It's not 'not exercising', (I'm approaching 600 miles of outdoor walking sence the 1/1 and 600 miles of cycling sence the roads became snow free and I've had the creek boat kayak out a half dozen times so far)it's eating.
It's not bumping the bar up.(I'm averaging 16mph on morning club rides which often exceed 30 miles),it's........eating.
I've a 'if it happens great, if it doesn't I won't stop enjoying what I do' mindset with the weight issue.
The cholesteral is under controll, the blood pressure is 117/74
and I'm 65.
Allllll good.

That's what I tell people too, but I also throw something in there about how you have to have multiple motivators for it to work long-term. My motivations include my health, I love bicycling, not having to face the other physical and social limitations that comes with weighing amost 400 lbs (physical activities, fitting into chairs/airplane seats, "fat" not being the only thing that people notice about you at first, etc.).

The only way that I've been able to maintain the direction of a real "life change", though, was through a complete change in perspective in how I live in the world and interact with it. I'm a little bit of a perfectionist, by nature, and in the past, if I had a few setbacks, I would throw my hands up and give up. Not because I was lazy, but because I felt like it was useless to try. I used to get stuck in what I did in the past, and feeling worthless and weak (yep, from Animal House), instead of paying attention to what I'm doing right now to change things. I had to convince myself that what I'm doing right now, is more important than what I did in the past, because right now controls the future.

One other piece of advice that I give them, is that they need to find a couple of physical activities that they REALLY like to do, and they should train for them. One of them should be aerobic, but the other can be just about anything from skydiving to playing table tennis. Being active in general is a fantastic motivator, and there is no easier way to stay active than to participate in something that you really like to do. It is a lot easier for me to skip an hour on the treadmill, than it is for me to skip a pretty ride on my bike outside.



Yes, that's important too, and if I ever find someone who doesn't waddle away screaming at the "eat less and better, and exercise" information, I'd go into the points you made. Unfortunately, every time the topic of my weight loss has come up, particularly at work, it's always been the same reaction - 'Neil is torturing himself', 'Neil is doing something that is beyond the abilities of a normal person', or 'Neil did something OTHER than eat less and better and exercise to lose the weight.' The last one is the funniest - I've been told I had to have had bariatric surgery, and I had one guy come over to my desk when I was taking my daily vitamins and medicine and try to read the labels when talking to me. If this last fellow wants to spend the rest of his life thinking niacin, ibuprofin, and glucosimine are weight loss drugs, that's his problem. :)

BTW, your story, as outlined above, is mine too.

There are a lot of intelligent responses here, as usual.

Three people I really admire have said things that apply to this situation:

“When you look around at what I call the Mediocre Majority, you'll find that the one thing that appears universal with them is the lack of self-discipline.” - Dan Kennedy

“Belief always trumps logic (and even science). You will never change someone’s mind just because you have facts and results on your side. People will stubbornly cling to a welded-in belief even when it clearly is hurting them.” - John Carlton

And from a cyclist extrordinaire...

“If you want to do something bad enough, even if it's improbably hard and very long, even if you have to do it one tiny piece at a time, stick with it. Don't worry about how long it takes and eventually you'll get there.” - Freddie Hoffman

I think a lot of folks undertake exercise/diet programs that are fundamentally unsustainable for whatever reason. They can work like heck for a while but then burn out in a couple of months or a year. Very few of us can actualize our goals through sheer discipline, will power. This is why I think it is important to find a form of exercise that is genuinely pleasurable. If you hate riding bikes, find something else that is fun. If you hate your diet, adjust it so that it is more reasonable for you.

One of the primary problems is an Aristotelian one in that some folks grow up not finding any physical activity pleasurable at all. This is tough to deal with because the person has to overcome the notion that physical activity isn't pure suffering having had no prior experience with the pleasures of exercise.

I'm 265lbs now and I'm only 26. It's totally my fault and I know it's a result of eating bags of chips and tons of pizza. I used to bbq every weekend and just sit around and watch movies, usually with beer. Sadly, a fairly typical Canadian guy; without the hockey.

Well I started commuting to work by bike about 6 weeks ago. A couple days a week to start, now I'm up to pretty much full-time. On the days it's raining, I usually go for an hour-long ride before work, so I can bus to work and not be soaking wet. Some day I'll just buy some rain gear and commute anyway.

I also completely changed my eating habits 6 weeks ago. No more junk food, no more pizza, beer or pop. I eat pitas, hummus, rice, fish, salads and I'm usually pretty good about not cheating. I discovered the peanuts I snack on at work are horrible for me, so those are out too.

Well, yesterday I seriously couldn't see a difference in the way I look now compared to how I looked when I started. I wanted to give up. After a month and a half, I look the same. I thought that I'm just not one of those people that's going to have a nice body; no matter what.

I feel better though. I used to start sweating and panting about quarter km from my house, now I'm 5kms away before I do. I feel great when I get to work and all cleaned up; energized even. I'm sticking with it. Everybody that's lost the weight they wanted to before me is right; it takes hard work and determination. Nothing truly worth having comes easy. I know some day I'll stand with you guys on the other side and give advice and support to someone that's in my position now. I love cycling around and hopefully it'll be the path to my success.