Fifty Plus (50+) - OT - Loss of a Friend

Tomorrow is a very difficult day for me. My buddy and trusted companion and friend, Cody, has cancer. Cody has traveled by car with me over 4,000 miles in the past year. He has been a constant companion, close friend, hiking and backpacking partner and even participated with me rock climbing. I took him part of the way up Suicide Peak here in S. California a couple of years ago. He made it quite a ways up and the only way I could get him down was to lower him in a custom made harness by rope.

About a month ago his outside pad on his left rear leg swelled up and became very nasty. I took him to the Vet and he was treated with antibiotics and the swelling went down. It came back and it was examined and x-rayed and the Vet believed it was bone cancer. This past month I have tried antibiotics, moist heat treatments and twice daily wound care. To no avail. Numerous cancerous appearing lesions have appeared on various parts of his body and his appetite and normal spunky self have vanished.

Please think about us both tomorrow. I am going to do the only right thing I know to do and I will have to say good bye to Cody. I am going to miss him dearly.

http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee21/f_thomas_2007/FredandCodyResizedJpeg.jpg

That's really tough. He is lucky to have an owner who is willing to do the right thing, tough as it is.

very sad story. :(

So sorry, not looking forward to that day with my Chloe..........but from what you say, it is the right choice, even though it will be painful for you. My thoughts are with you both.

I'll be thinking of you and Cody.

I went through this a year ago with my 16 year old cat who had cancer. It's hard but it's the right thing to do for them.

I'll be thinking of you.

When I put down my golden/pyr mix a few years ago because of cancer, It was by sheer willpower that I even made it to the vet. I loved this dog more than any dog I had ever known before or since. I cried for days before. But when the time actually came, and the deed done, I realized by how peaceful he looked that he had been in more pain than I had thought, and for longer than I had thought. I knew suddenly that I had absolutely, no questions asked, done the right thing and that day, in my memory, is not as sad as when my other dogs have died.

I'll be wishing you courage. And I'll tell my Bruckner to look out for your Cody.

Thinking of you now- this is one of the toughest decisions to make, and join my thoughts with the others here for you. Come back and talk- we're here.

Man, I'm sorry.......

I know exactly how you feel, after having our dog, Jack pass a few years ago.

I feel your pain. I did this same deed a year ago April. My Gretchen had inoperable cancer, and like Solveg, I wept buckets the weeks before the last ride; the sadness was overwhelming.

Tough as it was, it was unbearable knowing that she was in pain. If doing the right thing was easy, everyone would do it (and I wish more would). I'll keep you in my thoughts today.

:hug:

My sincerest condolences on the lost of a true friend and companion.

I have experienced lost of pets, in recent years from the same path you are taking and from sudden accidental events. (2)

Pets speak volumes through their eyes, and body movement, he will know you are doing what is best.

God bless and comfort you during this difficult time.

The dog, being your friend, would not want you to feel badly. Yes, we do feel sad anyway. My prayers are with you.
Tony

I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes, remembering my own past losses of pets. My sincere sympathies and prayers are with you.

My heart felt condolences go to you. As difficult as it is, it is the right thing to do. That we could show each other the same compassion and mercy...

Like the others, I truly feel for you. I have had Goldens for the past 25 years. I had to hold one while the vet injected her about 10 years ago. It was incredibly difficult. I couldn't even talk to anyone at the vet right after -- just walked out and drove home. A good dog is an incredible friend.

Over the years, my wife and I have had to make end-of-life decisions with several pets, so I can honestly say I do know how you feel. Be strong for Cody, and when you are ready, adopt another dog. Thanks for sharing, and best wishes to you.

...

So sad. We've gone through this with several loyal pets. Just last July with Cher, my sweet Yellow Lab. She wasn't in pain but just slowly faded away from kidney failure. Be strong for Cody & give him a treat for me. You will always remember the good times. Don

Always sorry to hear of such things. It broke our hearts to do the same with our Golden a few years ago when she developed a brain tumor. My thoughts are with you.

But it looks like Cody has some excellent company on the other side.

My thoughts are with you and Cody.

I too have walked that path before, rest easy knowing that he will go to a place that is pain free.

If there are no dogs in heaven, I want to go where they went.

All dogs go to heaven.

what a beautiful boy! Looks like he's got a big heart too!
Very difficult to do what you face. But he will live on in your memories. sounds as if you guys had some great great times together.

Sorry for your loss, I don't know what we're going to do when our dog's time comes.

When a dog breaths his last wet with human tears it's horribly hard for the human but still very good.

My thoughts are with you. My dog is the son I never had - we could not be closer. As someone put it to me recently, we're often lucky as humans to almost all of the life of our dog, sad as that can also be.

I alway love my companions and know how hard it is to lose one no matter the way. It's right you are there with him at the end, holding and comforting him. Just know it's happens so quick, neither of you will know what occurred. It's the right thing to do. He is/was blessed to have you as an owner.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Dogs live such short lives, but boy do they live it to the fullest.

I live right now with 5 dogs, including my one surviving Golden Retriever. I love all my dogs, but something about Goldens.... their devotion, gentleness, never-say-die attitude, playfulness and pathetic goofyness is just extraordinary even among the a pretty great species. I feel pain just reading your post :(

fthomas, how are you doing?

Tough decision, but absolutely the right one for your dog. I lost my Maggie (Aussie mix) 18 months ago to bone cancer of the hip. I realized to keep her alive would be for me, not for her. She knew my every mood and tried her best to make things better for me.

Eric

My thoughts and prayers are with you. It's so hard to lose a good friend and companion.

I know only to well how it fills to loose your best friend! We will be thinking of you and your beloved Cody.
But remember:
Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.

There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor.

Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again,
just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing;
they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance.

His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers.
Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet,
you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.

The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head,
and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet,
so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together...
Author unknown

My tribute to our pets http://www.jtgraphics.net/our_pets.htm

I'm sorry for your loss. I know how much you must love him, and how hard this decision was for you to make. It is the right one, though, no matter how painful.

I didn't know if I would even be able to respond to this post, because it was just too painful for me--last September we had to put our little schnauzer John Stuart to sleep. Next to my DH, he was my best friend.


I really miss him. I don't know if it will help you, but it helps me to tell him that every once in awhile.

About a month ago I had a dream about him, in which he told me he was fine.

Sorry to hear about the loss of your Pal.

fthomas, how are you doing?

Thanks to everyone here for your thoughts and Solveg, thank you for asking. I can never remember crying as hard as I have. I asked a friend of mine:

Why can't we (humans) be as:

Loving
Forgiving
Loyal
Thoughtful (Cody always would bring me my socks - dirty, but he always brought them in a pair - correct I might add.)

I feel very, very lonely! I miss Cody more than I could have imagined!

Wishing you the best of luck and a great good-bye to Cody. I had Roscoe(black lab pit bull mix) for 15 years. He was vital (hyper), full of life and an absolute blast. Since he was an only child at the time, he became the center of our universe, my wife's and mine. He had the vocabulary of a 5 year old, he could swim like a champ, was great in a car and loved the mountains. He loved xmas, opening presents, peeking under the tree and checking the stockings. Roscoe weighed around 85 lbs and was the old man at the vets when he first got cancer on a foot. They cut it off and it left for about 2 years. when it came back, it was with a vengeance. A tumor the size of my thumb was the size of a 1/2 a tennis ball that evening. We treated, ran to the vet and worked ourselves crazy to keep him from chewing at his wound. One day Roscoe decided it was time. It looked like Charles Manson had been in my living room. He chewed through 3 layers and then chewed the tumor off and lost a lot of blood. We took him to the vet and I held him while he left and we will never forget him. It's a tough situation to lose someone so close, but I will allways remember my buddy. Good luck, hang tough.

This has to be a really tough day for you. Obviously Cody was a really special pet and you enjoyed a lot of great times together. Hang tightly onto those terrific memories and just let the tears flow.

Hello,

I am terribly sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a family member, whether human or a pet, can be devastating.

I hope that you come to terms with it with the best outcome possible.

I got all teary when I read your post yesterday morning, but had nothing to post at that point that I though would make anything better. Now I'll just say I share your pain, a pain many of us have shared over the years, and some (I most likely) will endure again. I'm no good at sage advice, but would suggest remembering you friend often and warmly and putting the end firmly out of your mind. It isn't the part he'd want you to remember.

I've been there, Fred, and I know the pain you feel and the tears you cried. There is only one Cody and he was a beautiful dog. I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved companion.

fthomas, I feel your pain. I've been there too. Remember....

Condolences and good on you for doing the right thing. Too many people go to extremes to save a pet when the best thing is to end the suffering.

I do not know what to say but my feelings are with you.

Again, thank you all for sharing and your ability to empathize with the situation and plight that I was faced with. I am thankful for the time that I had with Cody! I thanked God for allowing me the opportunity to share but for a brief time such a magnificent and beautiful creature that He had created. As I sat on the floor holding Cody's head in my lap and stroking his beautiful golden body he was so content and responded with his familiar sighs of satisfaction and comfort falling asleep as we sat there. He was so relaxed that I thought they had already given him the sedatives, which they hadn't.

I am thankful to the staff of VCA All-Care in Fountain Valley, Ca. They were compassionate, understanding and empathetic. The young lady, the Vet, sat with me on the floor and cried and shared in my grief. Heather, the Vet Tech stopped me on my way out and gave me a kind and much needed hug. She shared with me that she sees so many people come in who are willing to spend thousands of dollars to keep their pet alive even for a few short months. Extending their life, but not the quality of life that the dog or cat deserves. She went on to say that it is more about their feelings instead of putting their dog or cat first. She let me know if I needed anything, even to just talk to come by or call. They, VCA, are there for me. This came from a young lady whose hair was colored bright fire engine red. It gave me pause to make sure that I in the future take the time and make the effort to look past the exterior of those that I encounter and search out the heart and soul of the individual that I am dealing with. Heather I thank you from the bottom of my heart! You truly have a loving servant's heart!

Earlier in the week I went through an experience with another Vet who was insistent on simply amputating a portion of the left rear paw of Cody. Though he saw the lesions in Cody's mouth (cancerous growths) and the return of a tumor on his right rear leg that I had removed a year ago and that had reappeared with a vengeance; this man was more interested in conducting the surgery, I believe, for the money in spite of the obvious declining condition of Cody. His calloused comments and attitude only served to make my decision more difficult and provide a fertile breeding ground for guilt at not being able to afford the treatment he suggested at the significant costs that he proposed.

Again, thank you all. Isn't it wonderful that though we may be physically worlds apart we enjoy and benefit from a family of kindred spirits and selflessness through the amazing world of the internet.

There was a framed plaque on the wall:

Friends share their heart without ever speaking a word.

Cody is and was that type of friend and companion.

I miss you buddy!

Fred, thank you for sharing your heart-tugging account of Cody's last day, and your last day with Cody.

It reminds me of my dad's last day when we were confronted with the same decision. The neuro docs wanted to do surgery to repair his neck - but why??? He'd be a non-responsive quadriplegic with a repaired neck. However, his internist -- whom I described as an angel in a lab coat -- told us "surgeons want to do surgery", and gave us the cold hard facts in the most tender voice and manner possible. She held me in her arms during his final moments. It was the most difficult of all decisions, but we knew it was what he had spoken of wanting for himself long before his accident occurred.

One of the very few times I saw my dad cry was when he returned from the vet after taking our Beagle to be put to sleep. Love for a special pet tugs at the core of the toughest individuals.

The right choices are often the toughest ones. But, unlike wrong choices, peace follows.

God's comfort to you, Fred.

Thanks to everyone here for your thoughts and Solveg, thank you for asking. I can never remember crying as hard as I have. I asked a friend of mine:

Why can't we (humans) be as:

Loving
Forgiving
Loyal
Thoughtful (Cody always would bring me my socks - dirty, but he always brought them in a pair - correct I might add.)

I feel very, very lonely! I miss Cody more than I could have imagined!

So sorry for your loss Fred. I've been through this experience too many times, but never ever regretted having shared my time with any of our dogs or cats in spite of the chewed up shoes, clawed furniture, cold winter walks, etc. You have shown your love for Cody by not allowing him to suffer, and the best tribute you could pay to him now would be to adopt an otherwise doomed pet from a shelter. While you will never be able to replace Cody, you can memorealize him by saving another. It might also help fill that empty space in your heart. I'm sure Cody would be pleased.

Hey Fred,

A difficult thread to read, my friend. A sad but inevitable part of life, particularly with our pets, is letting them go. You already know you did the right thing, so I can't add much to that. I've been through it too, like so many others have mentioned. I missed Boomer so much I thought I'd ache forever.

Take Cody's memory with you when you ride. Point out things he'd enjoy seeing. Tell him about your day. Reassure him that you'll be reunited someday.

Cody was a magnificent dog, and a true friend. Thanks for sharing some of his story with us.

Fred- Not much to add to what has already been said, except to add my condolences and support. Speaking of plaques on the wall, you might have seen this on a plaque or coffee mug:

My goal in life is to be person my dog thinks I am.

Something tells me you are.

A great tragedy. Very sorry to hear this.

My deepest sympathies, I know about how you feel.

My cat was diagnosed with Vaccine Associated Sarcoma last week. It's a cancer related to the rabies or leukemia vaccines they give cats. He got the shots between the shoulder blades and that's where the cancer is, so the surgery options are limited. Now, many vets are giving shots in hind legs or even the tail, so the cancer is more easily removable.

I never heard of this before he was diagnosed, but according to one web site, as many as 1:1000 cats get it. And I thought I was taking good care of him getting all his shots.