Foo - Best way to tell someone they didn't get the job.

I have to make the phone call this morning. Not fun. I've never done it either.
Should I:

Blurt out, "So sorry loser! We hired someone better," when he picks up the phone.
Disguise my voice and tell him I'm the boss's secretary.
Email him a photo of my middle finger with our logo on it and let him figure it out.
Tell him he was "Too Good" for the position.
Tell him we were going to hire him but we didn't like how he tied his shoes. Seemed too odd for our company.
Mail him a bottle of scope with our company card and a note, "Better luck next time, Stinky."

Hand them the want ads with some jobs circled in red.

"I hear McDonalds is still taking applications"

Yeah this sucks, I have had to make that call and I have received that call. More and more people are sending out letters. That way you don't have to listen to them defending themselves and why they should be hired.

"I hear McDonalds is still taking applications"

ummm... that's who he works for. didn't you know?

ummm... that's who he works for. didn't you know?

Seriously?
Then "I hear XXXX is still taking applications"

insert any company for XXXX.
Suggestions: Burger King, Wendy's, Subways, Dairy Queen, The post office, Blockbuster.

You want to know true irony:
I work for a temp agency. We're hiring agents to help people find jobs. The poor bas***d will probably jump off a cliff.














Just kidding ;)

No need to sugarcoat it.

"We appreciate your interest, but unfortuanately we have chosen someone else. We will keep your resume on file and contact you if things change."

No need to sugarcoat it.

"We appreciate your interest, but unfortuanately we have chosen someone else. We will keep your resume on file and contact you if things change."

Yeah, this is my approach. I just hate making the call.

yes. I have been on the receiving end of a few. We all know the drill.

you could give them a ginzu, a candle, and point them to the kneeling bench.

Where I used to work we used to send them a PFO letter in the mail if they did not get the job. PFO= Please **** Off

*edited by jsharr. please do not use creative spelling to fool the language filters.

I got Voice Mail!! Blah. I left a message to call me. Now I have to wait longer. This absolutely sux.

you could give them a ginzu, a candle, and point them to the kneeling bench.

Or you could give them a ginzu, a hammer, a piece of wood with a nail in it, an aluminum can, a loaf of bread, a tomato and a film crew and have them make an infomercial.

oh, oh oh Sub - you should have LEFT THE MESSAGE!!

Or you could give them a ginzu, a hammer, a piece of wood with a nail in it, an aluminum can, a loaf of bread, a tomato and a film crew and have them make an infomercial.

So your saying we should give them a job?

I got Voice Mail!! Blah. I left a message to call me. Now I have to wait longer. This absolutely sux.

Hey Steve, this is Sub Structure at the temp agency. I have some great news, call me back as soon as possible. Thanks Buddy!!!!!

So your saying we should give them a job?

Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, he can feed thousands.

Least you got the good manners to follow up. Way too many places don't.

The new trend is pictures sent to their cellphone...


http://customersrock.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/fired.jpg

that picture implies previous employement to me.

that picture implies previous employement to me.

Sorry, I couldn't find one in crayola. :rolleyes:

Wasn't here a Cheers episode where Norm had fire people and he kept crying during the process, making them feel sorry for him.

Try that apporach

Link to company.

Just be totally honest...
"I'm sorry we can't offer you the job. The other candidate had a great rack and a miniskirt"

Isn't this all done by text message nowadays? Same goes for a death, divorce, etc etc.

The new trend is pictures sent to their cellphone...


http://customersrock.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/fired.jpg

That reminds me of a Carlin bit on "Expressions and Sayings."

"I never got a pink slip either. Know what I got? I guy would come around to my desk and say, "GET THE **** OUTTA HERE!"

EDITED BY jsharr! Please do not use creative spelling to go around the language filters.

If he / she is really a poor candidate, recommend them to your competitor.

Ok, here is an ideal.

Give me their phone number. I will call them and offer them more money, better benefits and less work.

When you call them, they will thank you for your time and consideration but they have a better offer.

Ok, here is an ideal.

Give me their phone number. I will call them and offer them more money, better benefits and less work.

When you call them, they will thank you for your time and consideration but they have a better offer.

He is not hiring the person. How can you offer less work than that?

He is not hiring the person. How can you offer less work than that?

I know, but the person doesn't know that. The point is to trick the person into turning down a job they aren't even getting.

He is not hiring the person. How can you offer less work than that?

It can be done, just ask Isaih Thomas (http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3358377)

Sorry jsharr. I won't do it again. Promise.

Thank you for your time and interest. While your qualifications and background are impressive, we are pursuing a candidate who's background better matches the requirements for the position.

I wish you well in your employment search.

Thank you for your time and interest. While your qualifications and background are impressive, we are pursuing a candidate who's background better matches the requirements for the position.

I wish you well in your employment search.

He'll never buy that.

He'd come back with guns.

Oh, I was not aware he was intervieiwing for a position with the USPS.

and hide the red stapler

He'll never buy that.

He'd come back with guns.

if he does, it just proves they made the right choice.

if he does, it just proves they made the right choice.

Sure, they'll be right...and dead.

yeah, but that is sooooooo much better than possibly wrong and alive.

You could dance the moonwalk in front of them and then do a crotch grab/thrust at the end of the dance and say.."better luck next time"

You could dance the moonwalk in front of them and then do a crotch grab/thrust at the end of the dance and say.."better luck next time"
I am never gonna get a job in HR then.

I am never gonna get a job in HR then.

can't moonwalk, huh?
I hear McDonalds is accepting applications.

" I heard there's a Village in Burma looking for an idiot..."

" I heard there's a Village in Burma looking for an idiot..."

I used that one with some of the people I hired.
Now that I think about it, that could be why HR was not to happy with me.

I used that one with some of the people I hired.
Now that I think about it, that could be why HR was not to happy with me.

if they did not fire back with "takes one to know one" there is no justice in this world.

if they did not fire back with "takes one to know one" there is no justice in this world.

There is no justice in this world...and I'm actually sure what went through their minds was much worse.
They were just to afraid of me at the time to say it to my face....noobies. :lol:

probably just did not know which end to speak to.

No call back yet. This bites. I hate doing this anyway. Now the poor sap is going to call here wondering if he did get the job. I sounded as indifferent as possible. Almost robotic, because I didn't want any wrong impressions. Maybe I should have laid it down for him on his voice mail.

"Call me back when you get the Time. Which you will have more of since you didn't snag this crappy job we offered you. Ta ta."

No call back yet. This bites. I hate doing this anyway. Now the poor sap is going to call here wondering if he did get the job. I sounded as indifferent as possible. Almost robotic, because I didn't want any wrong impressions. Maybe I should have laid it down for him on his voice mail.

"Call me back when you get the Time. Which you will have more of since you didn't snag this crappy job we offered you. Ta ta."

Dude....voice mail = "Hi, this is so and so, are you there? That's too bad, I was calling to offer you the job, but since you aren't there and I really need to fill this position, I'm going to have to go with my second choice. I'll keep your resume in case anything open up later."