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Also, I don't want to spend $4K on a bike. I can afford it financially, but can't afford the prolonged grief from the wife. I'd probably be good getting something under $2K. Thoughts/suggestions?

For 2K you can buy a beautiful steel bike with very good (ultegra) components. Don't let steel scare you away. New steel is very light weight and very durable. And then save up some money and spend it on good wheels (plan on spending say $600 - 800).

Specialized Roubaix for me at 258 lbs. I have a tri-cross for path use and commuting, and wanted a great road bike. Funny how you can get used to the higher end components, come to appreciate them, and notice when you don't have them. I have no delusions about the bike making me a better rider. I just liked it a lot, and when I am lifting it up on top of my SUV I never think I would have been better off with a heavier bike.