Singlespeed & Fixed Gear - Don't Look Back

When I'm feeling my oats and blast down the bike path, crushing the daytimers and Tri-Freaks, I always feel conflicted about when to look back. Let's say Brett, a 40ish lawyer, is out riding his Jamis, his tight shorts so sexy, his aero bars well used. I've spotted him and decided I'm going to humliate him. I come up on his right, nice and smooth. I don't say "right", I just appear. Hey, don't freak, there are no baby carriages around, no old men with canes to cripple, and my skills are so sharp I'm riding for the two of us anyway. I'll make a wisecrack about wishing I had a lemon poppyseed clif bar or directions to Starbucks and then I slowly pull ahead. Brett might never make partner at the firm, but he's intent on taking me down. All those magazine ads and articles have him tweaked. These guys are so gullible: hook, line, sinker almost everytime. He tries to take me couple of times but I don't let him. My sensitivites are keen and I can feel him surge then recover; to the inch I know how close he his, heart rate too. Little by little, so he can't tell, I increase my effort until there's a noticable distance between us, one that he tried but can't make up. He's about spent but still determined. A distance so far that my radar begins to fail, I don't know where he is anymore. I can't hear him. I can't see him. But I want to know where he is. What do I do? If I look back I'll loose the aloofness I've successfully cultivated. I don't want him to know I was trying to beat him, just that I did beat him. I'm so confidant I don't need to look back. But I have to know. I have a few little tricks I use. I'll look out over my shoulder at the lake for a long time, like I'm just taking in the scenery, then steal a glance. Or, I'll wait to pass a hot babe on rollerblades and look back to check her out, but really I'm looking for Brett. Or pretend to adjust my shoe. Anything subtle to see how badly I crushed him.

directions to Starbucks

Starbucks is the symbol of all that's wrong with the world. I hate that they've overtaken the local coffe shop, and suplanted them. Doom on Starbucks. Doom!

those lemon poppyseed clif bars are the sh*t. i got one free last year at the US pro race in philly. it was DELICIOUS YUMMMMM i want more but too bad im poor

great read...... as usual....

wonderful

i wonder if dvegan and mayo will ever meet on the path.. now that would be an interesting race recap

Very cool post, Mayo. I look toward your next writing! :beer:

It's great to know that there are others out there that play those games on the bike path.

Thanks for the post.

Ah, what a nice bitter fable. In a weird kind of way, I wouldn't have minded if he skooled you, and then he goes back and get's the babe... But then she takes to you instead. That would have been a little different.

Are you sure the name wasn't Brock or Blaine?

Nice to know there are other folks out on the bike path humiliating the spandex crew. That is one of my favorite summer past-times -- a 30 mile ride on which I blast past the CF/Spandex crew.

everyone gotta die sometime. Mayo is getting there with good style. The best victories come from total humiliation of the defeated. And also making fun of Mapei's 5th string contingent that inhabits Chicago's lakefront.
Cheers

The best victories come from total humiliation of the defeated.

"Conan, what is good in life?"

"To crosh your enemies, to see dem driven before you, to hear de lamentations of der women!"

:p

I loved dropping the geared up rodies on the lake front, it really sticks in their craw when you do it on a eight year old Mtn bike.

To crosh your enemies

:p

You knit dollies for your victims?

You knit dollies for your victims?

:lol:

mayo..

what is it you're trying to say? you're a better person than this Brett fellow because you can ride a fixed gear faster than he can a road/tri bike? he's a bad person because he enjoys going to starbucks?

if that's the case, i feel terribly sorry for you. when i first started riding fixed everyone i knew that did the same adhered to what basically amounts to a live-and-let-live way of life. Brett, by riding his tri bike, even riding it slowly, has done jack **** to warrant your holier-than-thou attitude.

on behalf of Brett, i'd like to take this opportunity to tell you to go **** yourself.

on behalf of Brett, i'd like to take this opportunity to tell you to go **** yourself.

That was mature.

My thinking, is that you're Brett? And you prolly drink a lot of starbucks.

mayo..

what is it you're trying to say? you're a better person than this Brett fellow because you can ride a fixed gear faster than he can a road/tri bike? he's a bad person because he enjoys going to starbucks?

if that's the case, i feel terribly sorry for you. when i first started riding fixed everyone i knew that did the same adhered to what basically amounts to a live-and-let-live way of life. Brett, by riding his tri bike, even riding it slowly, has done jack **** to warrant your holier-than-thou attitude.

on behalf of Brett, i'd like to take this opportunity to tell you to go **** yourself.
On behalf of me, please do the same to yourself, two times.

I don't understand it, but I'm sure this explains why starbucks sucks.
http://www.bdidut.com/StarBucks/main.htm

http://www.dailyprobe.com/arcs/032602/starbucks.jpg

Man for some reason I want a mocha

That was mature.

My thinking, is that you're Brett? And you prolly drink a lot of starbucks.


actually, no.

name: chris
bikes: bianchi veloce road bike that i'm switching over to fixed for use on the track. salsa campeon road bike. fisher tassajara mountain bike. chimo singlespeed / fixed do-everything road/cyclocross bike. davidson track frame awaiting a new head tube. no tri bikes here.
coffee: not from starbucks. not because i think it's cool to put it to the man, but only because i don't like the taste of their coffee.
location: milwaukee, not chicago

i'm amazed at how big the "i ride fixed gear so i'm better than you" movement is becoming. what ever happened to letting people do their own thing, so long as they don't hurt anyone else?

what ever happened to letting people do their own thing, so long as they don't hurt anyone else?

Well Chris,

Mayo didn't hurt anyone, did he? He didn't tell the tri bike rider to "Go @#$# himself" as you did, did he? In your response to him, you attempted to curb his behavior to something you feel is better. So, it would seem that you're not letting him do his own thing.

And it's also funny, that you seem to knock tri bikes (reading your laundry list of bikes)...

On behalf of me, please do the same to yourself, two times.


Well Chris,

Mayo didn't hurt anyone, did he? He didn't tell the tri bike rider to "Go @#$# himself" as you did, did he? In your response to him, you attempted to curb his behavior to something you feel is better. So, it would seem that you're not letting him do his own thing.

And it's also funny, that you seem to knock tri bikes (reading your laundry list of bikes)...

Y'all are so cute when you get all worked up.

Y'all are so cute when you get all worked up.
so I am ugly when not under fire?

so I am ugly when not under fire?

ahhh... yea

Y'all are so cute when you get all worked up.

tee-hee

what about if you wear lycra whilst you ride a fixie, does that mean you have to try and overtake yourself, whilst being smug about overtaking your lycra, then also being annoyed about being overtaken by a fixie rider. All this confusion led me to try and put milk on my peanut butter instead of jelly

what about if you wear lycra whilst you ride a fixie, does that mean you have to try and overtake yourself, whilst being smug about overtaking your lycra, then also being annoyed about being overtaken by a fixie rider. All this confusion led me to try and put milk on my peanut butter instead of jelly

What if your fixie has tri-bars? Or your wearing a Team Starbuck jersey?

You'd wind up chasing your tail, in an ever decreasing circle, culminating in a infinite track stand.

Hi, my name is Brett. I am a 51-year-old lawyer (people say I look more 40ish than fifty). I tell them I owe it all to the bike.

Anyway, I was out on the bike path when something strange happened. I had ridden the full length – 25 out and 25 back – not bad for the day. I was wiped out, but feeling good that I had done my best time in a long time. I was looking down at my brake, which now seemed to be rubbing when all of a sudden I hear this noise on my right – no warning, no “hey, how’s it going”, just something that sounded like “lemon buck…” and off this guy goes. Even though I was at my exit off the path and the fifty miles had wiped me out, and now had my brake rubbing, off I went with him. We all know the feeling - we just can’t resist it.

So I am thinking we can ride together. He’s obviously a strong rider, single speed no less, and I’m thinking we can work together, maybe even learn something from the guy. No such luck. Every time I try to close the gap he bumps up the pace. I try to get his attention, but he won’t look back.

I could just hang there, maybe drive him crazy wondering if I was there. But that’s no fun, so I decide to just end it there at the next exit and head off to Dunkin Donuts for their coffee – it’s basic and the best. I wonder how long he rode without looking back; did he think I was there? Did he care?

This thread has officially turned into the Oprah Show. Sickening

This thread has officially turned into the Oprah Show. Sickening

Doesn't it just make you feel all warm and fuzzy?

Marty

Doesn't it just make you feel all warm and fuzzy?

Marty
Nah, just punchy

Hi, my name is Brett. I am a 51-year-old lawyer (people say I look more 40ish than fifty). I like long walks on the beach, cuddling and hallmark movies I tell them I owe it all to the bike.

Anyway, I was on bike forums when I read this post. I had read the full length – not bad for the day hooked fonics works. I was wiped out, but feeling good that I had done my best time reading it. I was looking down on Mayo because he was so condescending, to be rubbing my do gooder high. So, I had to post some useless drivel. We all know the feeling - we just can’t resist it.

So I am thinking He’s obviously a strong rider, and I’m thinking we can work together, maybe even date. I could just hang there, maybe drive him crazy. I wonder how long did he think I was about what I wrote.. Did he care?

Nah.. Mayo thinks not about your silly little story. Nor about your fascination with spandex. Nor about your inablity to just read something for what it is and let it go. Nor about your silly desire to post in a section that you've got not jack to do with.

Nah.. Mayo thinks not about your silly little story. Nor about your fascination with spandex. Nor about your inablity to just read something for what it is and let it go. Nor about your silly desire to post in a section that you've got not jack to do with.

Hey, welcome back!! The kinder, gentler Billy Karsten was starting to freak me out.

Hey, welcome back!! The kinder, gentler Billy Karsten was starting to freak me out.
I'm still kind and gentle. You should see what the cranky one wanted to say. He's so angry! Darn that Rap music.

(Yup, Westside Connection's CD is out.. WESIDE!!!)

Thanks for sharing Mayo's thoughts William

Thanks for sharing Mayo's thoughts William

Dam, the secret's out.

I'm physic.


I've read your mind too bombusben.

I should say, that's the most creative use of a tennis ball and 90w oil I've ever seen.

:D

Hi, my name is Brett. I am a 51-year-old lawyer (people say I look more 40ish than fifty). I tell them I owe it all to the bike.

Anyway, I was out on the bike path when something strange happened. I had ridden the full length – 25 out and 25 back – not bad for the day. I was wiped out, but feeling good that I had done my best time in a long time. I was looking down at my brake, which now seemed to be rubbing when all of a sudden I hear this noise on my right – no warning, no “hey, how’s it going”, just something that sounded like “lemon buck…” and off this guy goes. Even though I was at my exit off the path and the fifty miles had wiped me out, and now had my brake rubbing, off I went with him. We all know the feeling - we just can’t resist it.

So I am thinking we can ride together. He’s obviously a strong rider, single speed no less, and I’m thinking we can work together, maybe even learn something from the guy. No such luck. Every time I try to close the gap he bumps up the pace. I try to get his attention, but he won’t look back.

I could just hang there, maybe drive him crazy wondering if I was there. But that’s no fun, so I decide to just end it there at the next exit and head off to Dunkin Donuts for their coffee – it’s basic and the best. I wonder how long he rode without looking back; did he think I was there? Did he care?



haaaaaa! ha ha ha ha!

Nor about your inablity to just read omething for what it is and let it go. Nor about your silly desire to post in a section that you've got not jack to do with.

And who would be doing that?

what about if you wear lycra whilst you ride a fixie, does that mean you have to try and overtake yourself, whilst being smug about overtaking your lycra, then also being annoyed about being overtaken by a fixie rider. All this confusion led me to try and put milk on my peanut butter instead of jelly

Finally, a guy with a real sense of humor who DOESN'T take himself too seriously!

Dam, the secret's out.
I'm physic. . . .
:D

Hey willy you know what a Physic is in South Africa?
if you had one, your shiny gold saddle wouldnt shine no mo.

is it OK if I post here even if I don't have a single speed (yet) and wear
lycra (but I make my own espresso in a Moka)?

Marty

Nice volley Eureka.

Dam, the secret's out.


:D

No, the secret is you're riding a Huffy.

"I should say, that's the most creative use of a tennis ball and 90w oil I've ever seen"


Really? I thought your self-sodomizing instructional video was more 'creative', but thanks.

No, the secret is you're riding a Huffy.

Yeah, but the stickers say different, so don't **** with my illusion, thanks!

Really? I thought your self-sodomizing instructional video was more 'creative', but thanks.

It's not out on DVD yet? Wonder what's taken so long.

:p

Mayo,

Glad you got it. Obviously some didn't. Keep up the writing.

is it OK if I post here even if I don't have a single speed (yet) and wear lycra (but I make my own espresso in a Moka)?

Marty
(serious)
There are no rules about who may post where in on bikeforums; so I should recant my point about someone posting here who doesn't have a fixie or coaster.

(serious)
I wasn't.

Marty