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View Full Version : The End of the World! Which Folder?



snafu21
06-27-08, 01:59 AM
September, 2008.

The world was plunged into chaos following the assassination of President George W Bush by Amy Whitehouse. Oil prices rose to $2000 a barrel, and the USA emergency military Government, run by Exxon Corp decreed that the vast prairies of America be turned over to bio-fuel production. Food riots swept the country from the West Coast.

Thousands of ex-hippies remembered the counter-culture movies of the Seventies, dug out ancient Betamax tapes of 'Woodstock', and sang Joni Mitchell dirges to each other as they cycled toward the White House, in a final, post-apocalyptic mass bicycle rally.

In London, members of the Hyde Park Folding Bicycle Society stormed Parliament, quelled the rioting masses with high pressure bicycle pumps and lumps of chewed-up blotting paper, and formed an interim emergency government, but not before starvation and daytime television quizzes had whipped the angry townsfolk into action on both sides of the Atlantic.

With order restored, and dinosaur-juice energy banned, there was one final decision to be made. Which folding bicycle would become the Volkswagen of the, er, People, to transport them to a brave new car-less world?

jur
06-27-08, 02:49 AM
A: The A-bike copy.

Sammyboy
06-27-08, 03:09 AM
sang Joni Mitchell dirges

How very DARE you!

snafu21
06-27-08, 04:35 AM
"But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on evryone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way"

la-la-la. I've got my fingers in my ears......

The Volksbike will need a rear rack, upon which to keep the AK47 and the ammo to ward off the hippies....

Sammyboy
06-27-08, 05:04 AM
Sam has now got the urge for going......

gringo_gus
06-27-08, 05:35 AM
I think it would have to be a DT 20" variety - a good ride, sturdy and well made, standard parts, gives the feeling will go on forever...

gringo_gus
06-27-08, 05:41 AM
ps hey I'm a senior member.... break out the 3-in-1 oil

Bacciagalupe
06-27-08, 06:02 AM
So, uh, what flavour of crack are we smoking this morning? ;)

At the risk of actually providing a somewhat real response to a rather silly post.... If gas hits $2,000/barrel and there's still no alternate source of energy available, no bicycle on Earth is going to save you.

P.S. Amy Winehouse is in such poor shape that she couldn't hit the side of a barn with a Nerf football.

nigelme
06-27-08, 06:29 AM
September, 2008.

The world was plunged into chaos following the assassination of President George W Bush by Amy Whitehouse. Oil prices rose to $2000 a barrel, and the USA emergency military Government, run by Exxon Corp decreed that the vast prairies of America be turned over to bio-fuel production. Food riots swept the country from the West Coast.

Thousands of ex-hippies remembered the counter-culture movies of the Seventies, dug out ancient Betamax tapes of 'Woodstock', and sang Joni Mitchell dirges to each other as they cycled toward the White House, in a final, post-apocalyptic mass bicycle rally.

In London, members of the Hyde Park Folding Bicycle Society stormed Parliament, quelled the rioting masses with high pressure bicycle pumps and lumps of chewed-up blotting paper, and formed an interim emergency government, but not before starvation and daytime television quizzes had whipped the angry townsfolk into action on both sides of the Atlantic.

With order restored, and dinosaur-juice energy banned, there was one final decision to be made. Which folding bicycle would become the Volkswagen of the, er, People, to transport them to a brave new car-less world?

I've been pondering on this very scenario for years ( except it's Country Joe being played ).

There will be no consensus as to the appropriate post-apocalyptic-Folder.

I know I'll be on my Brompton, or perhaps my Moulton; oh I don't know!

Lalato
06-27-08, 06:52 AM
The true answer to this question is the $100 Strida Clone!!!!!! ;)

--sam

taser
06-27-08, 07:01 AM
The real answer: any bike that I can seize with my gun.

Speedo
06-27-08, 07:33 AM
Thousands of ex-hippies remembered the counter-culture movies of the Seventies, dug out ancient Betamax tapes of 'Woodstock', and sang Joni Mitchell dirges to each other as they cycled toward the White House, in a final, post-apocalyptic mass bicycle rally.


Rats! I tossed out my Betamax and Betamax videos when we cleaned house before moving.


With order restored, and dinosaur-juice energy banned, there was one final decision to be made. Which folding bicycle would become the Volkswagen of the, er, People, to transport them to a brave new car-less world?

Bike Friday New World Tourist of course. All the load carrying capability of full sized bike. Plenty sporty enough to flee from the wild wolf packs when not loaded. Painted Power Raspberry to keep your spirits up when the increased carbon in the atmosphere triggers not warming, but a new ice age!

Speedo

LittlePixel
06-27-08, 07:57 AM
I think in the UK at least the humble Raleigh Twenty will truly become the Mad Max Interceptor of the post-apocolyptic world as they are to be found in every single suburban garage, [under the shelf with the tin of dried up creosote and the dusty unused soda-stream] and so can be hoarded in great numbers in your nuclear-proof basement along with a supply of Phil Wood retaining rings and stolen UN72 Bottom brackets...

makeinu
06-27-08, 09:34 AM
It's the end of the world and you think the bus and train are going to be running?

The volksvelo would be a nonfolder.

CaptainSpalding
06-27-08, 10:39 AM
Okay, petroleum fuels are banned. Are we postulating also that there is no electric powered personal or mass transportation?

If there is still powered personal and mass transportation, I'd want the sturdiest folding frame possible. I'd want something that could withstand a lifetime of curb hopping and general abuse. I would second LP's nomination of the Raleigh Twenty, or I'd go for a Pocket Llama, which I understand has one of the stouter frames that BF makes.

If there's no powered transportation at all - gulp - I don't think I'd want a folding bike. It would be a bike-centric society, so a folder wouldn't be necessary. Every accommodation would be made for regular bikes. Why would I need to fold it? There would be bike parking everywhere. No need to put it in the trunk of a car. No need to fold it to get on public transportation. What a terrible revelation - without gasoline, the folding bike has no raison d'être. Kind of depressing, when you think about it.

- sob -

- sniff -

Wait a minute, I've thought of a justification for a folder in the post-apocalyptic wasteland. The only one who would need a folding bike is the ocean-going nomad who needs to stow a bike below deck on the sailboat.

Gotta start saving for that boat. . .

Speedo
06-27-08, 11:32 AM
What a terrible revelation - without gasoline, the folding bike has no raison d'être. Kind of depressing, when you think about it.

- sob -

- sniff -


In this post apocalyptic world indoor space is going to be at a premium. You're going to need a place to live that you can heat with a match. The ability to make your transportation small will be critical.

Speedo

folder fanatic
06-27-08, 11:42 AM
September, 2008.

The world was plunged into chaos following the assassination of President George W Bush by Amy Whitehouse. Oil prices rose to $2000 a barrel, and the USA emergency military Government, run by Exxon Corp decreed that the vast prairies of America be turned over to bio-fuel production. Food riots swept the country from the West Coast.

Thousands of ex-hippies remembered the counter-culture movies of the Seventies, dug out ancient Betamax tapes of 'Woodstock', and sang Joni Mitchell dirges to each other as they cycled toward the White House, in a final, post-apocalyptic mass bicycle rally.

In London, members of the Hyde Park Folding Bicycle Society stormed Parliament, quelled the rioting masses with high pressure bicycle pumps and lumps of chewed-up blotting paper, and formed an interim emergency government, but not before starvation and daytime television quizzes had whipped the angry townsfolk into action on both sides of the Atlantic.

With order restored, and dinosaur-juice energy banned, there was one final decision to be made. Which folding bicycle would become the Volkswagen of the, er, People, to transport them to a brave new car-less world?

I live in Southern California where disaster seems ready to strike at any given moment. So based on a guy who works in the motion picture and television sector that I know personally, I thought up this likely scenario involving folding bikes to the rescue. So now you know the underlying reason behind my own folders! For the complete story with photo see:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/world-of-folding-bicycles/265095922/in/set-72157594325178229/ (http://www.flickr.com/photos/world-of-folding-bicycles/265095922/in/set-72157594325178229/)

nekohime
06-27-08, 11:44 AM
In this post apocalyptic world indoor space is going to be at a premium. You're going to need a place to live that you can heat with a match. The ability to make your transportation small will be critical.

Speedo

I bet you I can heat a room that can fit a full-sized bike with a match. Here, hold my beer while I try it out...

:roflmao:

James H Haury
06-27-08, 11:47 AM
I think all this might happen during a possible Obama administration.

DVC45
06-27-08, 01:34 PM
The true answer to this question is the $100 Strida Clone!!!!!! ;)

--sam

Yup, but modified to take 3 speed S.A. hub (at least) and equiped with a bike trailer.

veloceleste
06-27-08, 03:15 PM
September, 2008.

The world was plunged into chaos following the assassination of President George W Bush by Amy Whitehouse. Oil prices rose to $2000 a barrel, and the USA emergency military Government, run by Exxon Corp decreed that the vast prairies of America be turned over to bio-fuel production. Food riots swept the country from the West Coast.

Thousands of ex-hippies remembered the counter-culture movies of the Seventies, dug out ancient Betamax tapes of 'Woodstock', and sang Joni Mitchell dirges to each other as they cycled toward the White House, in a final, post-apocalyptic mass bicycle rally.

In London, members of the Hyde Park Folding Bicycle Society stormed Parliament, quelled the rioting masses with high pressure bicycle pumps and lumps of chewed-up blotting paper, and formed an interim emergency government, but not before starvation and daytime television quizzes had whipped the angry townsfolk into action on both sides of the Atlantic.

With order restored, and dinosaur-juice energy banned, there was one final decision to be made. Which folding bicycle would become the Volkswagen of the, er, People, to transport them to a brave new car-less world?
I know the name of the movie: Mad Snafu and the Return to Velodrome

James H Haury
06-27-08, 03:21 PM
September, 2008.

The world was plunged into chaos following the assassination of President George W Bush by Amy Whitehouse. Oil prices rose to $2000 a barrel, and the USA emergency military Government, run by Exxon Corp decreed that the vast prairies of America be turned over to bio-fuel production. Food riots swept the country from the West Coast.

Thousands of ex-hippies remembered the counter-culture movies of the Seventies, dug out ancient Betamax tapes of 'Woodstock', and sang Joni Mitchell dirges to each other as they cycled toward the White House, in a final, post-apocalyptic mass bicycle rally.

In London, members of the Hyde Park Folding Bicycle Society stormed Parliament, quelled the rioting masses with high pressure bicycle pumps and lumps of chewed-up blotting paper, and formed an interim emergency government, but not before starvation and daytime television quizzes had whipped the angry townsfolk into action on both sides of the Atlantic.

With order restored, and dinosaur-juice energy banned, there was one final decision to be made. Which folding bicycle would become the Volkswagen of the, er, People, to transport them to a brave new car-less world?Why only one model Bicycle?Is this a soviet style planned economy( which never worked for the Soviets)?Will mechanical watches rule the day in timekeeping?
:twitchy:

DLBroox
06-27-08, 03:29 PM
Wait a sec now. What happened to the ones we actually already own? Have they been vaporized in this whole scenario?

That's the one I'd be riding, the one that's already by the front door. I'm saving my money for food.

CaptainSpalding
06-27-08, 03:41 PM
In this post apocalyptic world indoor space is going to be at a premium. You're going to need a place to live that you can heat with a match. The ability to make your transportation small will be critical.
Fortunately my bike isn't too susceptible to cold. It can stay outside.

Why only one model Bicycle?Is this a soviet style planned economy( which never worked for the Soviets)?Will mechanical watches rule the day in timekeeping?

Funny you should say that. This is my watch: Poljot Aviator. Poljot 3133 movement.
Russian. Mechanical EMP Proof! ;)

http://i128.photobucket.com/albums/p197/Captain_Spalding/Zombie%20Squad/Watch.jpghttp://i128.photobucket.com/albums/p197/Captain_Spalding/Zombie%20Squad/mov_poljot3133.jpg

James H Haury
06-27-08, 03:49 PM
Fortunately my bike isn't too susceptible to cold. It can stay outside.



Funny you should say that. This is my watch: Poljot Aviator. Poljot 3133 movement.
Russian. Mechanical EMP Proof! ;)http://i128.photobucket.com/albums/p197/Captain_Spalding/Zombie%20Squad/Watch.jpg[/IMG]http://i128.photobucket.com/albums/p197/Captain_Spalding/Zombie%20Squad/mov_poljot3133.jpg
I will be wearing my Vostok amphibia blue diver.Also emp proof and it's automatic.

randyprice
06-27-08, 04:21 PM
"EMP Proof! " With the watch back off like that, your watch is not very water proof.:)

snafu21
06-27-08, 11:45 PM
I suppose it's easy to dismiss the opening scenario as improbable fiction. But.

In my LBS last week the owner was saying he was rushed off his feet, the gas prices in the UK reached £1.22 a litre in Oxfordshire, and people were mothballing their cars, especially for shorter trips to the local shops. The LBS mechanic was booked up weeks ahead, as people dusted off rusted up bikes.

The dissent in France and Spain lead to riots - fishermen blocked off ports in France, and Spanish truckers closed down the autovias.

The increase in the number of bikes on the streets here was very noticeable, and even London's roads seemed quieter....

Me? I'm stockpiling canned food and inner tubes...

Sammyboy
06-27-08, 11:48 PM
I think all this might happen during a possible Obama administration.

You don't feel that the current Repub administration has been accelerating you towards this?