Foo - Yet Another Woman Question -- Advice Optional.

Dear Wise Men (and Women) of Foo,

I again seek advice on the tumultuous subject of women. Now, I have my own opinion made up, but support is always desired. Thus, the situation at hand:

A year ago, a woman and I dated for slightly over three weeks. Things got hot, and cooled off kind of quickly. Turns out that she went back to her ex...though in hindsight, I was pretty clumsy with the entire thing and barely even saw her...

However, she hasn't completely stopped trying to get my attention. She called me a few times after everything was done and over with, and all attempts to meet up have been nixed for various reasons. By the end of 2007, I said some really harsh things to her, and the calling stopped.

Fast forward to this week, where again I receive a call from her, after not talking for a few weeks (last time we talked wasn't too far off ago). The conversations aren't far from the norm.

My mind tells me that this is (obviously) sketchy, but in reality, I have liked her since I met her, and that feeling hasn't quite extinguished itself. I do want to see her again, but reason tells me that I just need to play the field a bit more, and things will take care of themselves. Thus, I ask you (the reader) for your opinion.

Again, your advice is optional, and any comments are (as always) greatly appreciated!

No harm in taking a 2nd chance.

Play the field, and things will take care of themselves. Its hard to reverse the past.

Play the field, and things will take care of themselves. Its hard to reverse the past.

Yes, but could one build on top of it?

Huge ocean, many fish.

Is she still with her ex?

That's a good question. I think she is, but long distance though (hence the sketchy part!)

That's a good question. I think she is, but long distance though (hence the sketchy part!)

Have you considered that perhaps she's after attention?

Uh... ask yourself , "what do you want to get out of this?" And see if it's possible to have that with her. Then ask yourself , "what can she possibly provide?", and don't expect any more than that.

Have you considered that perhaps she's after attention?


i dont think that sounds like it, im with the first post, one more time is worth a try.

duct tape, duct tape your bunghole

i dont think that sounds like it, im with the first post, one more time is worth a try.

Most of us have a go-to lover who we know is hot for us for when we need attention. Having that power over someone makes us feel good in times of need.

Sell her name and any personal information you have (address, telephone #, etc) to the russian mafia... and then drink some beer and let the rest take care of itself.



**no, seriously... do not even contemplate doing any of that.

Yes, but could one build on top of it?

You most certainly could, but as I ascertained from your post it sounds like its more trouble than its worth. If it was true love, years of commitment to each other, and you wanna give it another shot then I would say go for it. It hasnt been a long relationship and seems its more trouble than its worth. All though since it wasnt too long, and there isnt much water under the bridge, you can start fresh. Depends on the people involved.

dude she is holding you in reserve... just in case

Conquests... for one or the other or both of you... never last and are never worth going back to. You won't sustain the heat like you remember.

No harm in taking a 2nd chance.
true, but as mrt10 and ziemas said:

dude she is holding you in reserve... just in case

Have you considered that perhaps she's after attention?

They speak the truth. I guess a second chance depends on what you are looking for. A relationship? A fun & fabulous fling? If its the latter, and you don't get your hopes up for more, why not go for a second round?




Huge ocean, many fish.
its also my philosophy that the ocean is polluted and all the fish are ********.

its also my philosophy that the ocean is polluted and all the fish are ********.

Good one!!!

She's holding you for backup. More than likely you'll end up being the "transition" guy. You know, the immediate post break up guy who gets his heart broken and then dumped for steady guy. Be careful, tread lightly, and keep the eyes open.

So I guess the general consensus is:

Take a second chance, but don't expect anything serious out of it, and don't stop looking.

If that's the case, then it's precisely in line with my opinion!

So I guess the general consensus is:

Take a second chance, but don't expect anything serious out of it, and don't stop looking.

If that's the case, then it's precisely in line with my opinion!

Bump fuzz. And nothing more.

Great!

/thread!

That's a good question. I think she is, but long distance though (hence the sketchy part!)

Why pursue anything at all?

Say you do date her again, and say things do work out...you sure you want to be with a woman that's two-timing her current b/f, long-distance or no? How sure are you that when you dated her the first time, her ex was actually her ex? Huge flags buddy, and hence my advice to find another fish.

Better a chicken in the hand than finding another in the same bush...:innocent:

This is going to sound bad but here it is
Ex's are Ex's for a reason. Maybe things went a little fast last time ( I am only making an assumption here) and she bolted. You might try being her friend first this time.
Personally I would run from this. But thats just me.
Good luck.

http://hsnl.org/images/emoticons/up_to_something.gif

its also my philosophy that the ocean is polluted and all the fish are ********.

:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

After a while, i've developed a pretty good crazy-dar. This one is going DING DING DING!!!!
I can usually tell pretty quickly if a girl is crazy or not.

Better a chicken in the hand

In this case, a chicken of the sea? :roflmao2:

Good one!!!


:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:


I shouldn't have said philosophy. Based on my experiences.. 'tis a fact.

Forget about her. If you are desperate and can't get anyone else at the moment then go ahead but without any expectations.

Maybe run a background check on the other guy? Or her, for that matter. Could be I've seen too many TV shows about serial killers. Yes, thats' it. Odds are all the Anne Glanders and Dear Abbies out there would have you move on.

its also my philosophy that the ocean is polluted and all the fish are ********.

Hey now, it is not our fault! I blame acid rain, run off, and/or poor farming practices. Always someone/something else's fault!

Hey now, it is not our fault! I blame acid rain, run off, and/or poor farming practices. Always someone/something else's fault!

which, in turn, is caused by needs provided by mass commercialism. I think I see a common point...

I decided that I'll go slow (the previous attempt was really really fast) and see whether there's anything still there. I'll keep looking, and might even get a little more aggressive.

You ought to find out what she's up to - is MR-Ex-long-distance out of the picture, or is he really one of those highly trained individuals who can kill with thier bare hands off on assignment, and she is just bored? Sounds like she's just filling up her schedule with you, and if you're looking for a serious relationship, you should look elsewhere.

If you looking for casual dating, date her.... better be sure to use protection, and know where that EX is at all times, tho.

Think with the head that has the brain.

I have seen it and experienced it played out 1000 times, and the result is always the same. What others have said above is true; the very most this one can offer you is maybe a brief hook-up, but more than likely you won't even get that and you certainly won't find true love with her. She doesn't respect you; she just is feeling down and needs a quick ego boost by toying with someone she knows desires her.

Even if you did play it like an expert and got a little nooky, you wouldn't get out unscathed like you might naively think you could, and you will wind up kicking yourself later.

Ignore it.

Think with the head that has the brain.

I have seen it and experienced it played out 1000 times, and the result is always the same. What others have said above is true; the very most this one can offer you is maybe a brief hook-up, but more than likely you won't even get that and you certainly won't find true love with her. She doesn't respect you; she just is feeling down and needs a quick ego boost by toying with someone she knows desires her.

Even if you did play it like an expert and got a little nooky, you wouldn't get out unscathed like you might naively think you could, and you will wind up kicking yourself later.

Ignore it.

Thanks for the experienced advice! I'll definitely keep looking.

I have been in a relationship with someone I want to spend the rest of my life with that is complicated by an ex, and other elements.

I would say that it is possibly worth it for someone that you know well enough, and care for enough that you seriously want to spend the rest of your life with her.

I would say that it is definitely not worth it for a casual (even if steamy) relationship that might have some potential. If you are just starting to build something, spend your energy building it on a more solid foundation.

I have been in a relationship with someone I want to spend the rest of my life with that is complicated by an ex, and other elements.

I would say that it is possibly worth it for someone that you know well enough, and care for enough that you seriously want to spend the rest of your life with her.

I would say that it is definitely not worth it for a casual (even if steamy) relationship that might have some potential. If you are just starting to build something, spend your energy building it on a more solid foundation.

That is definitely not the girl in question.

That space is sort of reserved for someone else that was in my life, and still is. Sort of discussed in the Love/Hate thread.

In short, I complicated everything when I broke up with her a year ago, but both of our lives have improved otherwise.

Is she totally hot? That could influence the advice you receive.

Hot enough, but there's always better and I'm more rational than I am desperate.

go to the beach, MrC - you're in NYC in the summertime!!

go to the beach, MrC - you're in NYC in the summertime!!

NYC beaches? Have you been around here lately? :D

not really -it's been quite a while since I abandoned your fair city for the wilds of WV! but you can always catch the LIRR or head to NJ!

Dude, give her what you both want and look foward to future hook ups! Nothing like having a f'k buddy!

Guys,

I just had an epiphany today that ends this situation completely. In short, I'm getting my friends together, enjoying time with my family, and going back in "the game" hard.

Thanks, guys!

Keep in mind that people usualy repeat their actions over and over in life. If you would like to end up with a person that is carrying on with other guys, then go for it. I hate to say it, but you are not some magical person that the gods put here just to be with her. She will do to you what she is doing with her current BF, and she did it to the guy before him.
You know the old "Do unto others" thing. What it means in non-church speak is "Karma's a *****". Dont give Karma a reason or chance to mess with ya.

The beging of a relationship is supposed to be full of excitement and pure hardcore happiness, tainting it with the kind of complications you are walking into is a crime.

Guys,

I just had an epiphany today that ends this situation completely. In short, I'm getting my friends together, enjoying time with my family, and going back in "the game" hard.

Thanks, guys!


Great move!

You are getting a booty call and saying no?

What's wrong with you?!?

Seriously, she is just looking to you to get the attention the real captain sausage can't give her because he is far away. Go look for a girl who is single and available.